Chapter 22
Chapter
Twenty-Two
The door closed with a soft click that somehow sounded far more final than simply a closed door.
Kelly stood frozen in the middle of the condo living room, staring at the spot where Ben had been just moments before.
The silence pressed in around her, heavy and accusing.
She'd driven away the one person who had been genuinely on her side since she'd arrived in Bergen.
Her legs gave out suddenly, and she collapsed onto the couch, her body feeling both leaden and hollow at the same time. More tears spilled over, strangely warm on her ice-cold skin.
She didn't bother wiping them away. What was the point? There would only be more to take their place.
What did I just do?
There was, of course, no one to answer. There was only the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant sound of traffic outside.
Kelly pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, making herself small on the vast expanse of the couch that had felt so different last night.
Last night, when Ben's body had been warm against hers, when they'd laughed and talked and. ..
She pushed the memory away. It only made the ache in her chest worse.
The anger still simmered beneath the surface, but it had shifted targets. She was still mad at her father for his smug revelation, at Celia for her perfect bride routine, at her family for making her feel like she never belonged.
But now, sitting alone in the aftermath, she realized the person she was most furious with was herself. She was the problem here, not them. They hadn’t helped, but ultimately, this wasn’t about them.
She'd lashed out at Ben because he was there, because he was safe, because she knew he would take it. And he had, with that infuriating calm that now seemed less like indifference and more like strength.
Kelly stood suddenly, unable to stay still as the nervous energy coursed through her. She went to the refrigerator, opened it, and closed it again almost immediately. She wasn’t hungry or thirsty.
"It's his fault," she said aloud, trying to convince herself. "He should have told me about his father."
The words rang hollow. She couldn’t even convince herself. Ben had never lied to her. He'd simply not volunteered information that, until tonight, hadn't seemed relevant to either of them.
Her father's words replayed in her mind: "Trouble seems to follow that family. You could get hurt."
What a joke. The only person hurting her right now was herself.
Her heart skipped a beat as a new thought struck her. What if Ben didn't come back? What if she'd pushed away the one good thing that had happened to her in this miserable town? The thought sent a fresh wave of panic through her, and her hands began to shake.
She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was late, but not unreasonably so. The wedding was tomorrow afternoon. She needed to figure out how she would get there without a car if Ben didn’t come back. Right now, it didn’t look good for him to return. She’d told him to get out.
Who was she kidding? She needed to decide whether she was even going to the wedding without Ben.
The silence of the condo pressed in on her again, suffocating in its intensity.
She couldn't stay here alone with her thoughts spiraling increasingly out of control.
She needed someone to talk to, someone who wouldn't judge her, who would tell her the truth even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear.
Almost without conscious thought, Kelly reached for her phone. Her fingers trembled as she scrolled to Amy's contact and hit call. Her roommate in New York was probably getting ready for bed, but Kelly knew she wouldn't mind. Amy never minded.
The phone rang once, twice, three times. Kelly's heart pounded in her chest, her breath coming in quick, shallow gasps. What if Amy didn't answer? What if she had to face this night alone?
"Hello?" Amy's voice, bright and alert despite the hour, came through the speaker. "Kelly? Is everything okay?"
The simple question was nearly her undoing. Kelly's throat tightened, and for a moment, she couldn't speak.
"Kelly?" Amy's voice now held a note of concern. "Are you there?"
"I’m here, and I think I just made a huge mistake," Kelly finally managed, her voice cracking slightly.
"What happened? Are you hurt?"
"Not physically," Kelly said, sinking back down onto the couch. "I had a fight with Ben. A bad one. I told him to leave, and he did."
"Wait, start at the beginning," Amy said. "What did you and Ben fight about?"
Kelly gave Amy a quick overview, trying not to make herself sound better. She wanted a truly honest perspective, so it wouldn’t help to candy-coat the details.
"Everything was going great until tonight,” Kelly said.
“I think I screwed it all up. I was so mad at my dad for his smug little revelation that I took it out on Ben.
I accused him of deliberately keeping secrets from me, when all he did was not mention that his father was famous for catching serial killers. "
"That does sound like something you might want to know," Amy pointed out.
"Maybe, but it's not like he was hiding it. His last name is Reilly. His father is Seth Reilly. Anyone can Google that."
"Including you," Amy said pointedly.
Kelly closed her eyes, letting that truth sink in.
"Including me," she agreed quietly. "But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that I'm even considering not going to the wedding tomorrow. Just booking an earlier flight and going back to New York. Running away from all of it."
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. When Amy spoke again, her voice had lost its gentle inquiry, replaced by something much firmer.
"Kelly Bateman, are you seriously considering skipping your own sister's wedding because you had a fight with your new boyfriend?"
Put that way, it did sound ridiculous.
"It's not just about Ben," Kelly protested. "It's everything. My family. The way they make me feel like I'm always wrong, always less than. I'm tired of it, Amy. So tired."
"Well," Amy said, her voice gaining momentum, "let me tell you what I think about that. I think I’ve kept quiet long enough."
Kelly braced herself, knowing that when Amy got started, there was no stopping her. And right now, maybe that's exactly what she needed.
"You have a couple of different issues going on here," Amy said, her voice taking on that crisp, analytical tone Kelly had heard many times before.
It was the voice Amy used when she was about to cut through someone's nonsense, and despite herself, Kelly felt a small flicker of relief. Amy wouldn't coddle her or let her wallow. She would offer clarity, even if it stung.
"First, there's your nightmare of a family," Amy continued.
"If you don't go to that wedding tomorrow, your family wins.
They get to tell everyone how awful their daughter is and how she didn't even come to her own sister's wedding. Kelly is so selfish. She only thinks of herself. Blah, blah, blah. We’re so put upon by her.
" She paused for effect. "It's a trap, girl, don't fall for it. "
Kelly opened her mouth to argue, then closed it again. Amy's words hit her like a bucket of cold water, shocking but clarifying. Her spine straightened almost involuntarily, as if her body was responding to the truth before her mind fully processed it.
"They'd love that, wouldn't they?" Kelly said softly. "They'd talk about me for years."
"Exactly. Your absence would give them something to complain about for the next decade. Oh, remember how Kelly didn't even show up for Celia's wedding? Classic Kelly, always thinking of herself."
Kelly's breathing steadied as the fog of emotion began to clear. Amy was right. Walking away would only confirm everything her family believed about her. It wouldn't hurt them; it would validate them.
"Your mother would probably tell the story at every family gathering," Amy added. "And your brother and sister would pile on about how the big city has changed you for the worse.”
"Rob would do that," Kelly said, warming to the theme. "He'd use it as an example of why he's the responsible sibling."
"See? You're giving them ammunition," Amy said triumphantly. "And for what? So you can sit alone in your apartment feeling miserable? At least if you go to the wedding, you get cake."
Kelly leaned back against the couch cushions, feeling the tension in her shoulders ease slightly. Amy's practical perspective was helping her see past the emotional storm that had been clouding her judgment.
"And as for your family all being happy when you're not there," Amy went on, "I call bullshit. From what I've heard about them, they're all miserable, and they hate that you escaped. They're pissed as hell that you're not there in Bergen, miserable alongside them."
The observation landed with surprising weight. Kelly had never considered it from that angle before. Her family's constant criticism of her life choices, their dismissal of her career, and their insistence that she should want what they wanted. It all looked different through this lens.
"You really think so?" Kelly asked.
"Think about it. Your sister is doing exactly what your parents want, and is she happy?
Your brother is the golden child following the approved path, and is he a joy to be around?
Your parents got everything they wanted from those two, and do they seem satisfied?
No, they're still picking at you because you're the one who got away.
You're living proof that there's another option, and the one thing they don’t want their kids to have is options. "
Kelly's throat tightened unexpectedly. "I never thought of it that way."
"Well, start thinking of it that way. Go to that damn wedding and smile. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they made you sad, too."