Broken Silence

Chapter 1

Oakley

Itook my usual route as I strolled along the beach, my sandals in hand so that I could feel the soft, golden sand between my toes. Most nights, I would walk along the beautiful east coast of Australia, feeling the soft breeze on my face.

The warm air was still just about holding out, and the moon reflected off the ocean, creating rippling shadows on the water’s surface.

As beautiful as my life was out here, it wasn’t whole. I wasn’t happy.

A couple ahead of me walked hand in hand, gazing happily at each other. The man leant over and kissed the side of his partner’s head. He reminded me a little of Cole with his messy hair and flirtatious smile.

Keeping my head down, I passed them quickly, the ache in my heart doubling.

Almost four years, and I still missed him so much, I found it hard to function sometimes. Cole meant the world to me, yet I’d walked away.

I’d almost gone back a thousand times, but my brother Jasper, Mum, and I needed to heal. We needed time and space.

It would’ve been impossible for me to have given Cole a functioning relationship when I was broken.

I wasn’t sure how long we’d be here, but the longer we stayed, the harder it was to think about leaving the safety Australia offered us. We had family here, too. My uncle was supportive and had welcomed us with open arms.

So much had changed… none of which were my feelings for Cole.

Sometimes I wished I could get over Cole because it would make my life so much easier. Mum and Jasper wouldn’t have to put up with me moping around so much, either. Instead, I was trapped in endless heartache that was impossible to hide.

After I first left, Cole and I had messaged each other, but it became too hard to keep turning him down every time he offered to come out here, so I stopped replying and went back to drafting the texts but never sending them.

He stopped trying two years ago.

Letting him go was as hard as speaking up about the abuse I suffered as a child and the fact that my own dad allowed it, but Cole had a life in England, and he had been only seventeen when we’d left.

I loved him far too much to be selfish.

I knew Mum and Cole’s mum Jenna still spoke often. They emailed, mostly, because it was easier with the time difference and they were stuck in the nineties, so I knew Cole was doing well.

He went to the university he was hoping for, and he’d landed his dream job straight after. Mum never mentioned if he had a girlfriend or not—or worse, a fiancée or wife—and I didn’t want to know. It would be too painful, but I hoped with all my heart that he was happy.

So, I tormented myself endlessly instead, my mind creating scenarios where someone who wasn’t me slept in his arms every night.

I walked along the shore and up the steps towards our house with Cole still fresh in my mind, and our last goodbye seared into my memory. His tortured eyes, the way he fell to the ground when our car pulled away…

All of it was hell.

Jasper leapt in front of my face when I walked through the door.

Since the truth had come out, he’d barely left my side.

He had gone from overprotective to almost suffocating.

No one could come within ten metres of me without my brother being there to check them out first. I didn’t need a babysitter.

I’d moved halfway across the world to be free.

He stood in front of me now and bent his head to look into my eyes, checking to see if I was okay. “You were gone ages. Everything cool?”

“Yes, Jasper.” I sighed and headed into the kitchen.

His concern was tiring, as if he never expected me to be okay. He’d ramped up on the protectiveness, too, and I knew it was because the trial of both our dad and Frank was looming, casting a darker shadow over our lives.

Mum stood at the counter, making three mugs of hot chocolate. That was our little routine now. Every night, after my walk on the beach, we’d sit in the lounge, drinking hot chocolate and chatting.

Even Jasper would make it every night. Four years ago, he would have laughed at the idea and gone out clubbing instead.

His life changed immeasurably when he left England with us. He was settled at uni, his ex Abby had been back in his life, and he’d had good friends. I could handle him being a bit overbearing. He’d given up a lot for me.

“So, have you spoken to Miles today?” I asked Mum, smiling innocently as I leant on the kitchen island.

Jasper shot me a warning look, his eyes narrowed, brows almost meeting.

He wanted me to drop it because I think he struggled with a man in Mum’s life after the last one, our father, turned out to be a sick paedophile, but I wasn’t about to drop anything.

Miles was a decent guy—I’d gotten quite good at telling who was— and I wanted Mum to be happy.

She met Miles at work three years ago, and they really liked each other, but she wouldn’t give him a chance. I understood why she found it hard to trust again, but anyone could see that she was as in love with him as he was with her.

She sighed. “No, I haven’t, Oakley.”

Her chippy tone was a warning not to push, but sometimes people needed a nudge. “Why don’t you invite him over for dinner tomorrow?”

“Please, honey. Nothing is going to happen between us. Give it up.”

I stared down at the steam rising from the hot chocolate, watching it dissipate into nothing, understanding how that felt. “Not every man is like Dad, you know,” I whispered.

“Don’t call him that!” Jasper snapped, speaking through gritted teeth. His knuckles turned white as his grip tightened around the handle of his mug.

Since knowing what had happened, on the rare occasion when Jasper did speak about Dad, he’d only ever refer to him as the sick bastard. There was a lot of anger my brother kept bottled up inside. I saw it in his pained eyes every time he looked at me, though it was never directed my way.

“I know. Miles is a wonderful person, but I don’t want a relationship.”

Yes, you do.

She deserved happiness. I didn’t want Dad to affect the rest of her life, too—not to the point where she wouldn’t allow herself to be happy again.

Dropping it for now, I followed Mum and Jasper into the living room and sat down on sofas that practically swallowed you. I wouldn’t give up until she smiled properly again.

“You working tomorrow, Oakley?” Jasper asked, turning his nose up as if that was the most awful thing.

We both worked at a juice bar near the beach. It wasn’t exactly the career either of us had ever wanted, but Jasper refused to quit because so many bikini-clad women would come in, and I had no idea what I wanted to do.

I felt as if I were stuck in time, my life on hold until the trial was over. Even though I was thousands of miles away, I still needed Dad and Frank to be locked away so I could properly move on.

Well, I hoped that would do it.

Something had to, right?

“No. You are, though, right?”

“Yep. Want to work my shift for me?” he asked.

I gave him a flat look. “No.”

Mum cut in, asking, “Do you have plans, Oakley?”

When do I ever have plans? “No.”

“Why don’t you meet me for lunch at one? We can go to that sandwich place near my office. The one Jasper’s obsessed with.”

“Oh, lovely,” Jasper said sarcastically. “I’m working, and you’re planning on taking your favourite child to my favourite restaurant.”

“Are you sure he’s older than me?”

Mum smirked. “Mentally, no.”

Jasper scowled.

“Oh, we’ll get you a meatball sub!”

Jasper sat back and smiled proudly. “Good. Bring it to work, yeah?”

“I’ll drop it off on my way home.” I crossed my legs and sipped my hot chocolate.

Conversation quickly turned to the trial, like it seemed to recently, which was a month away.

I was due to give evidence via a video link because I couldn’t stand the thought of being in the same room as them, but the more I thought about it—or talked about it in therapy—the more I felt I had to go face them.

My therapist Martha had gone in depth a million times about me finding closure. She’d asked me to think about what it would take to be able to put it behind me enough to move forward.

Following her instructions, I had been thinking about it over the past year, but I’d come up with nothing—not until the trial date was set, and my lawyer spoke about how I could give evidence from Australia.

Martha seemed to think that facing them could finally offer the closure I craved, but she’d also asked me to consider what I would do or how I would feel if they got off.

Betrayed.

Scared.

To think that a jury could possibly believe I had made it all up would be devastating.

I pinned everything on the prosecution proving that the images were downloaded and distributed by my father, and that it was Frank in the one photo they found of me on his phone.

It all seemed so obvious to me, but there was a process. One I had no control over.

Dad had said so many times during my childhood that no one would believe me. If that turned out to be true in a court of law, I didn’t know how I would handle it.

There was also something else—or more someone else—to consider.

Cole.

Sipping my boiling drink, I listened as Mum and Jasper talked about the jury seeing through Dad’s charm. No one had for years, not even the people closest to him. How are strangers going to? I couldn’t think like that. There was evidence. Loads of evidence.

My head ached from thinking and stressing about it so often. I just wanted it to be over already.

After Dad and Frank had been arrested, other girls had come forward. One lady had claimed that Dad had abused her when she was twelve and lived around the corner to him. He was in his early twenties.

I believed her one hundred percent, and I hated him for her, too.

If those women could face them again, then so could I. The need to go there was growing and I couldn’t ignore it.