Chapter 2
Cole
My so-called friend Ben sighed, running a hand over his face. “It’s pathetic!”
“No, it’s romantic,” Kerry countered, slamming her fist on the table.
At least one of them was on my side, but I wished they wouldn’t have the ‘Is Cole pathetic?’ conversation in front of me.
“Romantic? It’s been four years, and he still mopes around like a teenage girl who just found out Justin what’s-his-face is off the market,” Ben countered, pointing his tanned finger at me as if it wasn’t crystal clear. “Back me up, Cole. It’s pathetic, right?”
“Really?” I muttered.
I was so glad I’d agreed to go out with them.
In my defence, I wasn’t completely pathetic. I’d been on a few dates since Oakley left, but they never turned into anything. No matter how hard I’d tried, I couldn’t force myself to want a relationship with any other woman, which fucked me over royally.
She’d rejected me and then left.
I told her I would move—I’d get on a plane and make Australia home—but she didn’t want that. It still hurt like a bitch.
Ben held his hand up as Kerry opened her mouth to argue her side again. “I’m just saying, maybe it’s time to give Chelsea a chance. She’s a great girl, and she lives in England.”
I sighed and rubbed my jaw. Chelsea was a great girl, there was no denying that. She was pretty, had a good sense of humour, and was intelligent… but she wasn’t Oakley. That was the problem with every other woman. As hard as I’d tried, I couldn’t get past it.
I’d met Chelsea on the first day of university, and we’d been friends ever since. She had hinted a few times that she wanted to go on a date, but I didn’t want to lead her on just on the off chance that I could grow to like her.
Kerry slapped Ben across the chest with the back of her hand. “Don’t tell him that! Oakley is clearly his soul mate.”
“And she ditched him to move halfway across the world.”
Damn, that hurts.
“Because she thought she was doing the best thing for him. He should have gone after her. They could be sunning themselves on a gorgeous beach in paradise right now.”
I’d tried to go with her. She didn’t want me.
“But he didn’t, and it’s been four years. She’s probably with some other guy now, sunning herself with him on the beach!”
I closed my eyes and pushed away the thought of another man touching her. Would she even allow that?
She’d let me, but we’d been friends since we were babies first. She knew I would never hurt her. The fact that she’d felt comfortable and safe enough to become that intimate made me feel a thousand feet tall. Her trust had meant the world.
Half of me hoped she would never let another man near her, and the other half hoped she would. I wanted her to be happy and for those bastards to not have ruined her future.
Years on, though, and I still thought of her as mine.
“Either change the subject or I’m leaving,” I hissed.
The whole conversation was making me feel sick.
Kerry was right about one thing: I should have followed her.
Staying here was the biggest regret I’d ever have but, at the time, it had seemed like Oakley didn’t want me to go with her, and I was scared to fly out there and surprise her in case she told me to go back.
I understood that she couldn’t be here anymore. After what those fuckers had done to her, of course, she wouldn’t want constant reminders of her trauma, but she was wrong about my life being here. I hadn’t gotten enough time to convince her because of how they just took off. Now, it was too late.
“What are we talking about?” Chelsea asked, taking a seat next to me and grabbing the menu.
I hadn’t even seen her come in.
“How romantic Cole is,” Kerry said, and at the same time, Ben came out with, “How pathetic Cole is.”
Kerry and Ben were made for each other. Obviously, ‘change the subject’ meant something completely different to them than it did to me.
“Right.” Chelsea laughed and shot me a brief smile. She tucked her dark hair behind her ears. “So, are we going out tonight?”
“Oh, definitely,” Kerry said.
She launched into a conversation about where we were going. Thankfully, that ended the topic of my pathetic-ness over Oakley.
By the time I joined their conversation, everything was planned. We would all be meeting at my place at eight before heading into town.
I was kind of dreading it.
My parents, my sister, Mia, and my niece Leona were sitting on the sofa, watching Cinderella.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Mum said, struggling to hold Leona still as she bounced around on her lap.
One thing I had learnt since Mia had had Leona was that children were loud. They often made a huge mess and wouldn’t keep still. You could also ruin their life by incorrectly making their sandwich.
“Hi,” I replied, frowning at being called sweetheart at twenty-one years old.
I walked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and Mia followed.
One, two, three…
“You’ve got the I’m-thinking-about-Oakley face on again.”
I’m pretty sure that’s just my usual face.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I want to go and murder a bunch of people on the PlayStation until I go out later.”
I was back home and saving for my own place after uni. My job was decent, but deposits sucked. Still, I had just about enough and was starting to look for places. I was lucky that I could live at home while I saved, really. A few of my friends had been stuck renting and couldn’t save much.
She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Who are you going out with?”
“Kerry, Ben, and Chelsea.”
“Chelsea, huh?”
I waved my hand, dismissing the insinuation. “We’re just friends, Mia.”
“I know that. Does she?”
“No, I thought I’d string her along until I stopped thinking about Oakley all the damn time.” I started out being sarcastic, but the end of that sentence was honest—too honest.
It just all ended so suddenly. One minute, she had been there, and the next, the whole family had taken off to Australia with no warning—just a knock on the door to say goodbye before they left for the airport.
No time, no warning. No moving on.
“Aw, Cole.”
I held my hand up. “Don’t.”
I didn’t need the pitying looks or sympathetic words. I would be fine. Eventually. There wasn’t any other choice.
Mia opened her mouth again, even though I had told her not to say another word, but thankfully, Leona skipped into the room, brushing her fringe out of her eyes.
“Untle Ole!” she yelled as she ran at me.
I managed to sweep her up just before she smashed into my crotch. Again. Kids were feral.
Leona still had problems pronouncing her Cs, so I was Untle Ole.
I smiled at her and said, “Can you say C-ole?”
“Ole,” she chirped proudly, making me laugh.
“All right, close enough,” I said, ruffling her hair.
I took her into the lounge to escape another Oakley-related conversation with Mia. Leona wriggled in my arms, waving her doll around, almost smacking me in the face with it.
The number of bruises this girl had given me…
“Maybe you could actually fix it, David?” Mum said dryly, hitting her laptop, as if that would magically make it work.
“It’s not that simple, Jenna,” Dad countered, matching her tone.
“Oh, how hard can it be? Just call the Internet people.”
I laughed. Mum turned and glared. Leona giggled along, too, even though she had no idea what she was laughing at. Mum had no clue when it came to anything technical.
She still emailed for almost everything, I got calls rather than texts, and she thought online shopping was killing the high street. It was but we still all did it.
Hell would freeze over before she got an account. Mia had deliveries from them most days, nearly all of it for Leona.
“It’s the router, Jenna, not the entire Internet,” Dad said, shaking his head. He walked off to his study where the router was, ready for another attempt to make the thing work before he’d admit defeat and call an engineer out.
As I held Leona over the sofa, she started laughing and squealing immediately, knowing what I was about to do.
“Ready?” I said slowly, making her squeal louder.
I dropped her on the cushions, and she screamed like she was being murdered. Kids were so easy to amuse. All you had to do was chuck them around a bit and give them endless snacks. In that order.
Leona had been with Chris the Dick all morning, so she was on a sugar high. All it took was for her to smile at him and he would give her whatever she wanted—usually sweets. At least Chris the Dick had stuck around. He’d surprised everyone there. As much as I hated to admit it, he was a good dad.
I still wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire, though.
Grabbing my mail from the side table, I escaped to my room. Having Leona around was great, but she had too much energy.
I flopped down on the bed and ripped the first envelope open. Please have something decent in here.
The estate agent had sent me a few new houses. I’d seen about six already, but they were shitholes. Refurbishment, I could handle, but I didn’t want to do anything structural. The last one stunk so strongly of old smoke and wasted potential, it had made me gag.
If those were all I could afford, I might be here longer than I hoped.
I ripped open the envelope and shuffled through the latest printouts. Two out of the five were okay, and I would make an appointment to view them. The rest, I threw in the bin.
House-hunting was something I was meant to do with Oakley. When we had been together, I’d thought about stuff like that. We were sixteen and seventeen, so it was only “one day” kind of thoughts, but it’d been there. Our future was wide open, but I was confident that we’d share it.
Now, I would be living alone.
She had been on my mind more than usual lately. The trial would be starting next month, so I knew it was that. I hoped those scumbags would get life and rot in prison until they died.
When we first got the court date, I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to hear the details. I’d given a full statement of what had happened the day Oakley called me and confessed, and it was going to be read out loud in court.