Chapter 4
Cole
Iwalked back into the house in a daze, leaving the door open, not knowing what was going on. She was here, in my house, and I’d had no warning.
When my eyes landed on her for the first time, my body screamed to hold her, I ached to pull her into my arms, and I’d only just been able to conjure enough self-control to keep my hands to myself.
There was so much more I needed to say. I wanted to shout and make her fucking see that she was wrong. She was the one who did that to us.
The back door opened, and she came into the house, dressed in my hoodie. Part of me was around her again, and it was doing nothing to calm the hammering in my chest.
Mum smiled at me, silently asking how I was.
I had no clue how to answer. I was shocked and numb and excited and pissed.
Turning, I saw Oakley now standing next to Jasper, close enough to draw strength from him… the way she used to do with me, and I had an overpowering urge to grab her hand and tug her away from him.
Jealous of her brother now? That was a new low.
With the initial shock wearing off, I could see her more clearly. Like how she was a little taller than the last time I’d seen her. Her hair shorter and lighter like it’d been kissed by the sun. But she still had that smooth, angelic face and those soft, pale blue eyes.
“Where’s Mia?” Oakley asked my mum.
The sound of her voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The raspy edge had stayed, I was happy to hear.
I pulled at the collar of my top, wanting nothing more than to grab her, carry her to my room, lock the door, and make up for lost time. My body failed to remember everything she’d put me through.
“She’ll be back soon. She’s just taken Leona to Fun to Play.”
Oakley turned, following Mum as she moved to the fridge. “To where? I can’t wait to meet her.”
I stepped forward, just a little bit closer, as if she was beckoning me and I had no free will at all.
“It’s a soft play. Worst place in the world,” I said.
“I don’t think they’ll be long. Are you staying to wait for her?” Mum asked.
I carefully watched Oakley’s reaction, the small frown, and pursed lips. She was torn.
Sarah touched Mum’s arm and smiled. “We have time. I’d love to see Mia again and meet Leona.”
Oakley smiled at her mum, that fake little smile that didn’t reach her eyes. She didn’t want to stay.
Not that I could be surprised after our conversation, but she had to know that she was wrong. I was never better off without her in my life.
What she’d said about not being good enough for me made me want to burn down the prison Max and Frank were being held in. I wanted them to hurt, to slowly suffocate while knowing death was near.
I hated that she felt that way about herself.
“Dude, your hair looked better before,” Jasper said, pushing my head.
I laughed and shoved him back. “Thanks, Jasper. Missed you, too, man.”
Jasper’s eyes flicked to his sister as some weird, silent conversation passed between them. Finally, Oakley nodded and rolled her eyes.
And that meant what? I had a feeling it was to do with me.
Four years ago, it was Oakley and me doing that. Now I was on the outside, missing all the events that led to those wordless conversations.
“Oh my God! I’m so glad you’re staying for a bit. We’re going to watch a movie after a very messy night out, so come sit,” Kerry said, pulling Oakley and Jasper towards the sofas.
Of course, they hadn’t left.
In a moment that I put down to pure habit, I sat beside Oakley and felt her tense up like she wasn’t expecting it. Bunching my hands, I pressed my fists into my thighs and tried to pretend that this was normal.
No one seemed to care that they’d just walked in unannounced after four years… after the way they left, and now we were just going to sit and watch a movie like nothing had happened. My head spun so fast I could’ve thrown up.
“What’re we watching?” Jasper asked Kerry, blatantly staring at her cleavage.
He hadn’t changed a bit.
“Piranha,” Ben answered, wrapping an arm around Kerry.
Oakley’s head snapped to Jasper, and he smirked, about to say something.
“Beach party!”
His mouth closed, and he looked back at the screen.
“Okay, what happened at that party?” I asked.
It must have been good if Jasper stopped taking the piss out of someone because of it. I hated that I didn’t know what it was. Those inside jokes used to include me.
“Nothing. Shut up, Oakley!” he snapped.
Oh, I was going to ask her about that later. It could be the perfect icebreaker. We needed to talk, but I didn’t want it to end in an argument again.
She laughed quietly, making me smile. That was the first time I’d heard her laugh properly in fifteen years, and the sound went some way to heal old wounds.
It felt damn good.
“You won’t be laughing when you’re screaming like a girl in the middle of the night because you’re dreaming the little fish are eating you,” Jasper said.
She narrowed her eyes. “Jasper performed a striptease to Poker Face at a beach party.”
“A striptease?”
Ben and Kerry laughed. Chelsea eyed Oakley with suspicion from the other side of the room.
“It wasn’t a striptease. What the hell is wrong with you, Oakley?”
“It was a striptease. Although I don’t know if he actually went all the way. I left when his hands reached the top of his boxers.” She shuddered in disgust. “He sang and everything, though.”
Jasper mumbled a string of swear words under his breath, narrowing his eyes at his sister as if he could strike her down.
“Repeat performance, please,” Kerry demanded.
“I don’t think so, pudding.”
“Did you just call me pudding?”
Oakley shook her head. “You know nothing about women, Jasper.”
“I know enough to get what I want.”
“Pig.” Kerry scoffed.
The movie started, and everyone shut up. I was suddenly hyperaware that my arm was almost touching Oakley’s, and the smell of her hair drifted into my nostrils.
She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, and I couldn’t fucking breathe.
The air between us was heavy with unfinished business. I couldn’t focus on the movie—couldn’t focus on anything but her beside me.
Did it physically hurt her to be around me again, too?
I sat uncomfortably and forced myself to look at the screen, clenching my fists until my fingernails cut into my palms. I should have sat somewhere else because I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the beautiful blonde who had gutted me four years earlier.
I managed to keep my eyes on the screen until thirty minutes later when Kerry waved an empty bowl at me. “Your turn, Cole.”
Sighing, I grabbed the bowl and made my way into the kitchen, grateful for the break so I could pull myself together.
Away from her, things were a little clearer.
How the hell did she still have this power over me? It didn’t make sense that I still wanted her.
It also didn’t make sense that I was sitting there watching a movie five minutes after she walked back into my life.
What the hell was happening?
Grabbing the popcorn bag from discarded box on the table, I turned around and almost slammed into Jasper.
“Jesus.”
He smirked and cocked his head to the side, pleased with himself. “Sorry, dude. Did I scare you?”
Sarcastic bastard.
“What’re you doing?” I asked.
His face turned serious, eyes narrowing and losing the smug edge. He took a step closer to me until he became uncomfortably close, but I quickly realised that was the point. This was an act of intimidation.
Wouldn’t work, but I’d go along with it.
“What did you do to her? She looks like she wants to run away.”
“Are you serious? I didn’t do anything to her,” I said. “We talked. There were things that needed to be said.”
There was still a lot more that I had to get off my chest at some point. I couldn’t have it inside me anymore, festering away, chaining me to the past.
“Couldn’t it have waited?” he asked, folding his arms under his chest. “She’s my sister. Don’t upset her, okay?”
“She’s my…” I trailed off, managing to stop myself before I said girlfriend. She wasn’t my girlfriend, and she hadn’t been for a long time.
But in every single way possible, she was mine.
Jasper smirked. “Your… what?”
I gritted my teeth. “Nothing. If you keep giving me that look, I’m going to punch you, Jasper.”
“What’s the deal with the new chick? Are you screwing her? Tell me now so I can make sure Oakley’s not around to see it.”
“Not that it has anything to do with you, but I’m not screwing her. Even if I were, it would be Oakley’s fault. She left me. She moved ten thousand five hundred and fifty-five miles away, for fuck’s sake.”
“Right, because she really wanted to do that.”
I clenched my jaw, teeth grinding together. Why the hell was he coming at me right now? “She still did it.”
“Just don’t hurt her.”
“Me hurt her? You’ve got to be taking something.”
“If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.” He stared me down with sharp eyes, then slapped my shoulder. “Well, big brother bit over. How’ve you been?”
“Jasper, has anyone ever diagnosed you with anything?”
He rolled his eyes but grinned. “Not you, too.”
“I think if more than one person has commented on it, you should make an appointment.”
His grin widened. “There’s nothing wrong with my personalities. They’re all awesome.”
“So, you all grown-up and settled down yet?”
He looked at me as if I’d grown a second head. “You’re kidding, right? Have you seen how hot the girls are in Oz? And we live near the beach. Bikinis, baby! I’m never settling down, ever.”
“Okay, then.”
“You got over my sister?”
I glared. Jasper had no boundaries.
“That’ll be a no. So, what is new around here?”
“I can’t keep up with you.”
One minute, he was the protective big brother, ready to rip my head off, and then he was back to normal… if Jasper could ever be described as that.
He shrugged. “Women have that problem, too.”
Raising my hands, I started to walk out of the room.
Screw the popcorn.
“She’s been miserable, you know,” he said.
I stopped and turned around. His words like a bullet. “What?”
“I thought she’d be okay after a while, but she never stopped looking sad. I hated seeing her that unhappy every single day. Just do me a favour; don’t give her too much of a hard time. She didn’t want to leave. She was going through a lot of… stuff.”
“Yeah, I know she was.” Well, I didn’t know. I would never know what she had gone through. None of us would.
Jasper got the popcorn out of the microwave. “Ouch, popcorn, you bitch!” he hissed when the bag burnt his fingers.
Grinning, I went back in the lounge. “Your brother hasn’t changed one bit,” I said to Oakley as I sat back down. God, being this close to her was as natural as breathing.
“What did he say?”
“Something about bikinis.”
She laughed. “Yeah, he really likes the beach.”
I would have liked it, too. Hanging out in the sun with her all day sounded like a pretty perfect way to live.
“This is getting scary, so don’t go anywhere,” she said.
I’m not the one who went anywhere… but it was good to know that I was still safety to her.
I also wanted to be her home.
Shortly after the film finished, Mia and Leona pulled up outside. Ben, made Kerry and Chelsea leave with him, knowing we needed time.
I watched Mia’s jaw drop to the floor the moment she spotted Oakley. She let Leona’s Peppa Pig bag fall to the floor and ran to her. “Oh, my God!”
“I missed you,” Oakley told her. She hugged Mia, and I couldn’t help a bolt of jealously that zipped through my body. I was desperate to do the same.
“Who’s that?” Leona asked, tugging on my arm.
“A friend,” I told her, still watching how Oakley’s face lit up as Mia spoke. “You’re going to love her.”
Leona took to Oakley straightaway, pulling on her hand the second Mia let her go.
I sat still, my head still reeling, and I watched Oakley move onto the floor and let Leona tell her the names of every doll she had.
Weird fucking names. Beebip. Loopy. Reddy. Dressy.
Leona was never allowed to name a pet.
“Oh,” Leona said, her mouth making a big O and staring at Oakley like she was a celebrity. “You’re in Ole’s room!”
For fuck’s sake, no.
Oakley frowned. “In his room?”
“Leona, do you want sweets?” I asked, my heart thudding.
She ignored me completely. “Yeah, on his desk.”
Oakley bit her bottom lip, and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Leona and her lack of filter.
I ran my hands over my face. We never should have taught Leona to talk.
Jasper laughed at the awkward exchange. Dickhead.
“We should get to Ali’s now,” Sarah said, checking her watch. I didn’t want them to leave, but I did want a distraction from the Oakley photo. “Maybe we can meet up soon, though?”
“Tomorrow?” Mum said as she hugged Sarah, then Jasper and Oakley.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Well, I knew what I wanted to do, but it would be completely inappropriate in front of an audience.
Oakley turned to me, her eyes seeking permission. Screw it. My body needed this so badly, I could barely breathe.
I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her.
The little, sharp intake of breath sunk into my skin. I held her tightly, my hand burying into her hair. She gripped hold of me, pressing her face into the crook of my neck.
She smelt amazing, her skin soft and so close to my lips.
Fuck.
Her body trembled against mine, and I wanted to sink inside of her until we passed out. I needed this even more than I thought.
I didn’t want to let go, not even when her arms loosened around my waist. Gritting my teeth, I dropped my arms and took a step back. My heart didn’t get the memo, still thumping as hard as when I’d been touching her.
She stared up at me with those sky-blue eyes and said, “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”
“That sounds good,” she replied breathlessly. Her cheeks were flushed.
She nervously bit her lip before releasing it and smiling. Those teeth on that thick bottom lip…
“Oakley, get your tiny backside in the effing car!” Jasper called.
She rolled her eyes, and our moment was broken. “That’s my cue. Bye, Cole.”
I nodded once. “Bye.”
Mum closed the door behind them and wiped her eyes.
Mia turned to me. “Well, well, well…”
Holding my hand up, I said, “Stop. I don’t want to talk.”