Chapter 5
Oakley
Almost twenty-four hours in the air wasn’t the reason why I felt dead tired and like I’d just gone ten rounds with Muhammad Ali. But I’d made it through my first run in with Cole and, hopefully, things would be okay the next time we saw each other.
And I was lying to myself so hard. What we’d discussed earlier was only the tip of the iceberg. The confusion and hurt had rolled off him in waves.
“How did it go?” Mum asked as I closed the door to the rental.
“Wasting no time. It was better than I’d expected but harder than I thought. He didn’t throw me out, so that was a start. But… it still hurt.”
Jasper turned in the seat and gave me a look that told me I was an idiot. “He was never going to chuck you out. He still loves you.”
My jaw dropped open. “You listened?”
“Yeah, of course I listened. Well, I tried to. I only heard that bit before Kerry hit me repeatedly. You want to do that girlie thing where you overanalyse every little detail? What did it mean when he sat so close to you? Did it mean anything? Was it accidental or—”
“Shut up, Jasper,” I snapped. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Isn’t this the kind of shit girls do?”
“You’re not a girl.”
“Yeah, but you have no friends, so I thought I’d try cheering you up.”
“Jasper,” Mum scolded.
It took every ounce of control I had to not throw him out of the moving car. “Thank you. You’re very helpful,” I said dryly instead.
He was only half right. I did have friends, but I wasn’t close to them. I wouldn’t confide in them—after Cole, I wanted to keep everyone at a safe distance—so, I hung out with them, and we talked about our favourite TV shows and celebrity gossip. That was it.
“Was it nice to catch up with Jenna?” I asked to change the subject.
Mum’s smile radiated in the rear-view mirror. “It was. I was worried it would be awkward at first, but it was like we’d never been apart.”
“I’m glad.”
We pulled into Ali’s drive, and nothing about their house had changed from the outside. She was still planting the same flowers and had the little water fountain in the front garden.
The front door burst open, and Ali came flying out. Mum jumped from the car and ran into her sister’s arms.
It was a good day for Mum, and I was happy for her, but I bet she was already missing Miles. I’d heard her on the phone to him at our layover in Dubai.
“Great. I forgot how crazy those two are together,” Jasper said, opening the car door.
Like he could complain about anyone else being crazy.
“Oakley, sweetheart,” Ali whispered as she tugged me into a hug. “Are you okay?”
I smiled the moment she let me go. “I’m fine. Just a little tired from all the travelling.”
“Oh, come in, come in.”
Inside, we were hugged by Lizzie.
“Go lay down,” Ali said. “Your bed is all set up.”
“Thanks,” I replied, my body suddenly so heavy, I could have dropped to the tiled floor and slept for eight hours.
Lizzie grabbed my hand. “I’ll show you the way. We have so much to catch up on.”
I shot Jasper a desperate look. It had been a long flight. I was tired and ever so slightly emotional from seeing Cole. I did not need to deal with Lizzie as well. Plus, I knew the way.
“Go on,” he said, grinning.
I mouthed, I hate you, and turned, letting Lizzie drag me upstairs. I supposed getting it over with now meant tomorrow would be a whole lot calmer.
The second her bedroom door closed behind us, she pulled me to her bed, and we sat down. “How was seeing Cole? Did you have one of those romantic reunions, or was he pissed at you?”
Oh, we were going for it.
“I’m tired, Lizzie, and I really don’t want to talk about him.” I got off the bed and flopped onto the futon that I’d be sleeping on by the wall.
She sighed in frustration, shoving her bleached hair behind her shoulders. “At least tell me if you still love him.”
“Yes, I still love him.”
That was hardly a secret. I felt like I had it written all over my face… in neon lights.
“I knew you did! God, this is so romantic. Reunited after years apart,” she gushed, making little squealing noises that made me want to slap her. She wasn’t helping, and it certainly didn’t feel romantic. Just draining and hard.
“Yeah,” I replied sarcastically, my cousin having no clue. I buried my head under the pillow and prayed that either sleep or suffocation would happen soon so I wouldn’t hear her anymore. It was getting late, and I just wanted to sleep.
“Fine. I get it. I’ll go see Jas, then.”
I wanted to be around if he ever heard her call him that.
I woke up to the sound of Lizzie spraying hairspray. She kept going, holding her finger on the can and spraying it all over her head. Christ, that hair was going nowhere, ever.
“Lizzie, the whole room will go up if there’s a flame within a mile,” I said and almost coughed up a lung.
She looked over her shoulder. “Hey, you’re awake. So… have you spoken to him yet?”
Two seconds ago, you acknowledged that I’d just woken up…
“Not yet. He doesn’t have my new number.”
My mind drifted to Cole, and I wondered how he was feeling. We were supposed to meet up with Jenna today, but would he be working?
He was only home yesterday because he was nursing a hangover. If he wasn’t there, I was going to be so disappointed. I was addicted.
Something hard hit my leg, making me jump. Jasper stood by the door, smirking at me.
“What’s wrong with you? Just use my name, moron.”
He nodded to whatever it was he’d thrown at me—his mobile phone. “It’s Cole.”
I gasped, scrambling to sit up. The phone slipped through my fingers, and I reached for the phone by my legs. Jasper chuckled and leant against the doorframe. He was sticking around.
Glancing at the screen, I saw Cole’s name along with the minutes ticking by, almost five had gone already. What the hell had Jasper been talking to him about?
With a dry throat, I held the phone to my ear and opened my mouth to talk.
“I’d go with hello,” Jasper said sarcastically, winking at me before leaving Lizzie’s room.
His quiet laughter down the phone made me smile.
“Cole,” I mumbled, and pressed a hand to the fluttering in my stomach.
“He told you to go with hello,” he said.
I held the phone tighter. “Yeah, well, he’s an idiot.”
“Agreed. Do you want to go get some ice cream?”
What?
“I’d love to,” I replied, nerves like a tornado stirring my stomach. It couldn’t be that easy, surely?
“Great.”
“But don’t you have work?”
“Erm, no. I spoke to my boss earlier and I’ve taken some holiday.”
Was that because of me?
“Okay.”
“Will you be ready if I drop by and pick you up in an hour?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, pressing the phone to my ear as if that would make me closer to him. I was pretty sure I could have got ready in three seconds if he was coming.
“Okay. See you in a bit.”
He hung up without a goodbye, and I stared at the screen. His voice was calm, but I could detect the hint of anger and confusion in his tone, as if he was unsure that he was making a good choice.
That wasn’t exactly a surprise.
Lizzie stepped in front of me and wiggled her eyebrows. I’d forgotten about her. “I’m out of here. Have a good date.”
Before I could correct her, she was out of the room. It wasn’t a date.
There was so much to wade through. Ice cream was a good place to start. At least he wanted to meet up.
Jumping up, I grabbed my clothes and ran into the bathroom to have a quick shower and get dressed. My morning routine took a bit longer since I’d started wearing makeup.
My dad never let me wear it, but it wasn’t up to him anymore. He got no say in my life. I didn’t particularly love the stuff, so a slick of mascara, light blusher and neutral lipstick was enough.
It wasn’t about making myself look better, though it did, it was about having the choice.
As soon as I was ready, I went downstairs to find Mum. The smell of coffee wafted through the hallway, and I knew she was in the kitchen. She smiled when I walked in and the brightness in her eyes made my day.
“Morning.”
“Morning.” I smiled back, loving seeing her happy.
“You look nice. Are you going out?”
I froze. Nice? Did I look like I thought this was a date? I wore a navy-blue maxi dress—Australia clothes—but it was late May, and warm during the day.
Maybe it was too much to meet up with Cole? Should I have gone more casual?
Her smile grew. “Oh. You’re meeting Cole, aren’t you? That was what Jasper was muttering about.”
I nodded numbly, mentally searching through all the clothes I’d brought with me.
“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy.”
“Should I change?”
“No, you look beautiful. Stop worrying, Oakley. You could turn up in a bin bag, and he’d still love it.”
“That’s not helping.” I wrung my hands together. “Yeah, I really need to change.”
Before I could take a step closer to the door, the bell rang, and I knew it would be Cole. It had been almost an hour since we spoke.
“Too late, darling.”
“No, it’s not. Get the door. I’ll be back in a minute,” I called over my shoulder as I ran out of the room.
Her laughter rang through the house. I was being stupid, but today was important, and even the smallest of details mattered. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and a long T-shirt—much more casual.
While I dressed, I heard muffled voices talking downstairs. I prayed they were catching up and Mum wasn’t telling him I was changing again.
Taking a deep breath, I slowly crept downstairs. Cole’s eyes landed on mine as soon as I stepped into the lounge, and my heart skipped a beat. Then a couple more.
Having him close was dizzying. Nothing had changed for me.
“Hi.”
His eyes sparkled under the bright spotlight above him. “Hi.”
“Have a nice time,” Mum said before she walked into the kitchen, allowing us some privacy.
“You ready to go?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
I nodded in response, not trusting my voice to work.
Cole drove us the five minutes it took to reach the café. I played with the hem of my T-shirt the entire way, nervous because I could smell his aftershave and feel his warmth.