8. Gray #2
I ran a hand through my hair. "And that's the most fucked up thing of all; I don't know.
She left everything. Her phone, wedding band, engagement ring, and all her credit cards.
All her jewelry. Every fucking thing. She left me a note saying she was taking five thousand dollars, but she'd pay it back because of that fucking prenuptial agreement.
" I dropped my face in my hands as tears raged inside me and began to pour out.
"Fuck," Holden muttered. "Poor, Rose."
I looked up, aware that tears were running down my face. "You called her a gold digger."
"I was a dumb kid then. Trust me, I've met gold diggers.
Rose was pure gold. She handled Mama. She's graceful even when Bonnie is being a bitch.
You know, she never complained to me about you, even when I'd ask her how things were goin'?
She'd simply say that you work hard for your family, and she was so very proud of you. "
"I loved how she looked at me like I was some superhero."
Holden snorted.
I agreed with him. Some superhero! I even forgot our twentieth wedding anniversary.
"Where do you think she went?"
"I'm guessing Malou."
Holden nodded. "This her friend who has cancer?"
"Yeah."
"I found her crying at your New Year's Eve party last year."
I looked up at Holden. "You did?"
He nodded. "Yeah, she was out by the firepit, alone. I felt bad for her. She’d cooked that amazing spread, set up the whole party, but she was the only one not enjoying any of it."
I remembered inviting some people from work.
Aimee had been there. I had a great time—hung out with my kids, my co-workers, my brother, my friends.
I kissed the kids when we rang in the New Year.
I remember looking for Rose, and Willow saying she’d already gone to bed.
But I couldn’t recall what happened the next day.
Did I even wish my wife a Happy New Year?
"She was upset," Holden continued. "She had to leave the following morning to be with her friend who was going through chemo."
Right, Rose had told me she was leaving early. I'd come to bed at around four in the morning and crashed. Rose was gone by the time I woke up. She'd left food for me like she always did, and it really didn't matter because I ate out plenty with…Aimee and others from work.
"I told her she was a good friend. I mean, she went to all of Malou's chemo treatments except a couple where I think you had something going on. That's caring. You know?" Holden was shaking his head, awe in his eyes for my wife.
Yeah, that was Rose, alright. Caring.
I remember she'd missed a chemo recently because I needed her at some event with me. What was it? I couldn't remember. And, did I spend my time with her, or did I do what Holden said I'd been doing: stayed with Aimee and others, leaving my first wife sitting in a corner?
"I love her, Holden."
"Honestly, Gray?"
"Yeah," I said sincerely. "Rose makes my life better. The past months have been crazy busy with our international projects, but when I come home and get into bed with her, fuck, it's like my whole world is right."
Then why the hell have you been sleeping in the guestroom so often, you idiot?
"Gray, anyone who spent time with the two of you, didn't see this, and I doubt Rose did."
I felt like my world was collapsing around me, and now I knew that it was by my own hand.
" I'd never cheat on her. I don't want to.
I have a sexy wife, and the sex was always fucking awesome with her.
Even after kids, y'all would complain about how sex went out the window, but not for us.
We fucked like three-four times a week."
But not lately, not for the past many months since I started sleeping in the guestroom because I was working late hours.
"Lucky you."
"Yeah, I was lucky." I sighed. "Damn it, was I that much of an asshole to her?"
"I don't know what it was like when it was just the two of you, but when I was around, yeah. And then there was the time when you got drunk, and we were all talkin' about weddings. You said that you got married because Rose was knocked up."
I remembered that night. We had some people over. Our friends Leah and Ken were there as well. They got divorced a year later. But that night, we were all talking about how all of us got together.
"I met Rose while she worked at a diner close to the university," I slurred. "She was gorgeous, and, of course, I wanted to get into her pants. You know how we were those days?"
"We all know," Bonnie chuckled. "You Rutherford men are hound dogs."
"Until we get married," Holden added, and Bonnie snuggled into him.
They sat on the couch together while Leah and Ken were on opposite sides of the coffee table.
Rose was in an armchair next to me so she could go in and out of the kitchen and ensure everyone was taken care of.
She had cooked dinner, 'cause she never catered, and that always made me so proud because she was a fucking awesome cook.
Even Mama or Bonnie couldn't bitch about her food.
We had eaten and were drinking wine and coffee at the end of the night. I’d had a few glasses and then some.
"Rose was six months pregnant when we got married," I said. "Weren't you, babe?"
"Yes." Rose cast her eyes down.