Broken

Chapter One

Its Sunday. Family day. And by family day, I mean my family sitting around a table, silently eating as we all secretly judge each other, or at least, thats what I do. I push the green beans around on my plate, not really wanting to eat them or anything else my mother made tonight, or any night lately. Shes been on a health kick and creating recipes from the other step-ford wives she hangs out with seems to be her new thing. Can this nightmare just be over, so I can go to Maxs house. Hes having a party tonight and I cant miss it. Itll be the talk of the school tomorrow, and there will be so many guys. Ive casually had a few flings, but I try to never keep one to myself. Not because I cant, but because I dont want a boyfriend. Except one guy, who I seem to keep going back to.

We live in a suburb of a huge city, on a cul-de-sac, the epitome of nuclear lifestyle. I have a father whos a senior partner at a massive law firm. My father, Mr. George Winston, the heavy hitting lawyer. A stay at home mother, the perfect Mrs. Bethany Winston. And a twin brother, George Winston Jr. Everything about my life screamed boring normalcy, until recently. We are the Winstons after all, prim and proper with our noses to the sky. I carry one of the horrific typical girl names for the area, Katherine Marie Winston. Im the eldest child in the Winston household, even if its only by seven minutes.

Having such a pedigree looming over my head has made one thing abundantly clear. I was not made for this cookie cutter lifestyle, at one point I may have been. But now, sitting at the dinner table with my perfect family with their polish clothes and hair, I know I dont belong here anymore.

“We have the Yale tour this weekend.” My father chirps, so very proud of my stupid brother’s accomplishments. “Valedictorian, captain of the debate team, class president. Were so proud of you.”

The amount of times Ive had to sit through the, ‘why cant you be more like your brother’ is unfathomable. I look at my twin brother and give him a curt, tight, hateful smile and of course he does the ‘I’m the good child eye batting smile.

“Quit teasing your brother, Katherine.” My mother pokes a green bean, carefully putting it to her lips as she sits up so straight in her chair that she looks fake with her pinched lips and wrinkle free botoxed forehead. Like a Barbie you put at the table when youre lonely. Yes, fine. I played with Barbies when I was little, sue me.

I look down at my clothes, mostly so I dont have to look at her, and see my ripped jeans with fishnets under them. My tattered band shirt, thats been cut and tied to hug my body in ways ‘a Winston shouldnt wear’. Honestly, they gave up trying to tell me what to do about six months ago, after they got a call from the police department.

Yes, I got arrested. No, it wasn’t a big deal. At least not as big of a deal as my parents made it out to be. Strictly speaking, it was a tarnish on the Winston name and they couldnt stand for it. So they leave me be, telling their friends, “oh shes just going through her rebellious stage, weve all been there.” basically telling everyone that its just a phase. All I did was drive my drunk friend home, granted, I wasnt exactly driving the speed limit. But we were having fun and she was underage and totally wasted, we were put into the back of the cop car, and sent off for our mugshots. Needless to say, the cops down the highway dont appreciate our kind, the rich kids, coming into their small town.

After the scandal of Katherine Winston getting arrested, died down, so did my parents attention on me. Everything went back to, “What college is Jr going to.”

When I finish my food, well what I could manage to scarf down, I get up from the table. Leaving the plate because my mother would have a cow if I helped her, “Sweetheart, youd just be in my way.” Or in laymans terms, Im a control freak and you wont do it my way.

“Upstairs to study, you have finals this week.” My father says with his authoritative voice. Sometimes he forgets that were his kids, instead treating us as if were his employees. Kind of like he treats his assistant at work, less than him, but with higher standards than others. Or, I suppose thats how he treats me, now.

“Sir, yes sir.” I salute him, stomping up the stairs. That may have been a little hasty and a tad over dramatic, but hey, thats what teenage daughters who are in their rebellious stage are for, right?

Once Im in my room I look at the mocking pink colored walls, flipping my room off and rolling my eyes. Im not allowed to redecorate, because what if I get over my current obsession and go back. Itd be more cost efficient to just leave it as is.

Stalking straight over to my window, I hoist it up and climb right out. You know the scene, the one like in the movies where they sneak out and climb down. Well, I have that, a portion of the roof from my parents closed back porch sits under my window, with the perfect lattice to help me escape.

Once my feet are on solid ground, the freshly cut grass smell lingers as I walk, okay, I run. Leaving through the back gate of our privacy fence and I do the unthinkable. I slip and bust my ass so hard I just lay there for a minute, staring up at the stars that you mostly cant see due to the trees and light pollution.

“Need a hand?” Damn him. Of course he was standing there, watching he always seems to be right there when I very much dont want him to be.

“No,” I turn my head to see pink socks and a pair of white slip-on sandals, “seriously. Pink socks?” I ask, pushing up off the ground into a sitting position.

“Im so comfortable in my masculinity, that I can rock the pink socks, baby.” He offers me a crooked smile as he looks down at me, my eyes skating over his entire body. The white sweats that hug his thighs a little too tight. The black waistband of his boxers sticking at least an inch out above. The toned muscles up the abdomen. Hes a sculpture, come to life to taunt my darkened soul.

“Kudos to you, macho man.” I let out a grunt as I push up to my feet, dusting the dirt off as I go. “‘Kay bye.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You think you can just bite it in front of me and get off that easily.”

“Yes, otherwise Ill bite something else and let your mother find it in the trash.” I cock an eyebrow. I hate him, and I dont mean I hate him because I love him and he wont be with me, kind of hate him. No, this hate burns so deep. When I was five, he ripped my dress and then told my mom that I did it playing too hard, after she told me not to. Or, oh the time when I was nine and I raised my hand to go to the bathroom and the teacher told me to wait until the assignment was passed out and he dumped water under my seat to make everyone think I peed myself. Then there was this one time when I was thirteen, I was a late bloomer, and I hadnt gotten my period yet. So when we went to the pool, he smeared something red on the towel I was using and made everyone think I started my period right there.

Hes made my life miserable and I hate him. Even if he is built like a Viking god now, with the braided hair to match. But! The one thing that makes me hate him most, hes my brothers best friend, and they do everything together. The top two in the class, both going to attend Yale together next year, and all the other things goody-two-shoes do. Makes you want to gag on a spoon.

“At least youd put it in your mouth.” This isnt the guy I know, hed never willingly say something like that to me. He has two modes with me, super sucky brothers best friend who ignores me, or, the douche bag that makes me look like an idiot without anyone noticing it was him.

Hes offered assistance and now mentioned sexual favors. Now, Im not a prude, Ive had a cock in my mouth, once and the fucker choked me so bad my throat hurt for a week. However, Ive had sex and I enjoy that very much. But, not with him, never with him.

Westley Sherman isn’t nice to me, so why is he acting like this? “Listen, I dont have time for a minute,” I look him up and down, figuring he’s probably a pump and dump kind of lover, “at best with you,” I make a jab at his performance capabilities. “So youve seen me fall, what happens now, I beg you to not tell my brother I snuck out?”

“No. Ill keep your secret. If you keep mine.”

“What secret is that?” I cross my arms, studying him. Hes not out here smoking, hes not out past curfew, considering hes wearing his ‘home’ clothes.

“That you saw me out here. After all, I have a reputation to keep.”

“The one where you show the world your perfect face and demeanor while secretly plotting my demise?”

“Yes, that one.” He turns away and disappears into the shadows of his own backyard, leaving me wondering, why was he out even here?

I let out an exasperated sigh and continue down the path between our houses until I hit the street. Two blocks and Im partying with them all.

When I get to Max’s house I walk right in, as I’ve done every time this year. I spot him immediately, his dark hair and ice blue eyes staring at me from across the room. Making my way over there, he throws up his fist and I knock knuckles “Maximillion!” I shout over the music.

“Kitty Kat.” He shouts back. “Drinks are in the kitchen!” He nods over his left shoulder, and my eyes follow the path to see Knox, his friend in the kitchen serving red cups from the beer tap. Now, Knox may be his friend, but hes definitely not my friend, even if I let him climb into the Kitty Kat from time to time. Gross, I am never saying that again, even if it was just in my head. A shiver crawls through me as I shake it off.

Dove Cameron comes through the speakers, singing about how she wants to show boys power, vibrating through my body. I can’t help but feel these kinds of songs, when a girl has been through something and shes come out more powerful. Knox hands me a cup before I even make it all the way in the kitchen. I nod, thanking him quietly as I turn back around to join the masses dancing in Max’s living room.

There are so many bodies in the room, everyone is bumping and grinding on each other as I dance through the crowd, finding myself in the middle squished between two bodies. I have no idea who they are, but I drink and party all the same.

The air is hot, and the crowd is hotter. This is what I want to spend my summer doing, feeling the music and drinking the nights away. I can’t wait to be free of the binds that hold me to this wretched place.

After the graduation party, I’m leaving. I’ve saved up money to get out of here. I’ll bus a one way ticket somewhere and never look back.

The song switches, amping the crowd up as everyone jumps and dances. I down the rest of my warm beer and toss the cup. I’m not sure what they have in the tap, but whatever it is, it’s making my face feel numb.

My body tingles as I feel hands gripping my hips, a body pressing against my back as I just breathe in the scents around me. Strawberry vapes, some kind of musky cologne, and sweat. When the body behind me starts growing and pressing against my backside, I laugh. Of course whoever he is he can’t stop himself from getting hard. My ass is rubbing against him so hard that I can feel the dips of his hips.

Leaning forward I give him a little more of a tease, shaking my ass perfectly as he the music thumps with my heart. The bass is unlike anything I’ve felt before. Each pulse around me sends me into oblivion. My eyes feel heavy and my body feels light as a feather.

I’m shoved away from the guy behind me, “Back off, Emo Bitch. That’s my boyfriend.” I put my hands up as I keep my balance, barely.

“Hey, he pushed up on me.” I laugh, stepping back. I’m here for a good time, not a girl fight. Suddenly there’s an arm around my waist, pulling me down to a lap. I look back when I land against his body to see Knox, dumb guy. “What the fuck?” I slap him in the chest, playfully of course. Cant be too aggressive with them boys, it might hurt their feelings.

Knox presses his cheek to mine and I can feel his breath on my neck, giving me a chill down my body. “The way you shake that ass baby, I bet you’d ride my cock like a goddamned queen.” As if he doesnt already know.

“If you wanna fuck me, get in line.” I say back, licking the shell of his ear as I try to push up off his lap, but suddenly my head feels like it’s three sizes too big. Never seem too eager, always keep them on their toes. The more they think they want it, the better the sex. If you give in, they pump and dump so fast, you barely even had time to get wet before theyre creaming themselves. Or, so Ive been told. I stagger a little in his grip as I attempt getting up. Knox has always been a pump and dump. And as the time goes by, hes gotten rougher with me.

“Whoa baby. Careful.” He says, keeping me too close.

“Let go, Knox.” I say his name, but it feels like it gets stuck on my tongue. Why is my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth? Why is my mouth so dry? I shake my head, trying to clear out the blurry vision and blank spaces that seem to be filling it.

Something’s wrong. I clear my throat and try to get up again, but Knox doesn’t let me up. “Let. Go.” I shout, shoving at his chest.

I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket, thank fuck for face recognition, I’m not sure I could push the buttons when there’s so many of them in two different spots. “Siri, call Georgie.”

I hope she heard me over the music. I put the phone to my ear, and it’s ringing, so it worked. Knox moves me, lifting me off his lap and carries me through the room. “Stop Knox. Put me down.” I say, trying to wiggle out of his grip.

“Kat!” Georgie shouts into my ear.

“Why are you screaming?” I ask him.

“You just called me, what are you doing?”

“Geoooorgie McSnorrrzie. I think something is wrong. I only drank one beer.” I remember that I’m moving, but I’m not walking. “Knox, put me down. I don’t want to go upstairs.”

“Katherine.” My name is spoken from the heavens above, looking around I see people, but none of them are looking at me. “Katherine!” Oh right, Georgie.

“Come get me. I’m at... the... Party. I, he, Knox, put me down. I don’t feel good.”

“Fuck Kat! I can’t leave, I have to nail the finals tomorrow.”

“Knox, who’s room is this?” I ask as he opens a door, carrying me in as he flicks the light on. He tosses me to the bed, and the phone bounces out of my hand, “Stop being dumb.” I tell him, but he leans over me, grabbing my waistband. He flicks the button on my jeans quickly. “Knox, I’m not having sex. I feel like I’ve been drugged.”

“Shhh, I’ve got you.” He leans down, kissing my cheek. “I’ll make it feel good.” He whispers.

My eyes are so blurry, and the lids keep closing. I attempt to fight him off, but he’s so strong. “Stop.” I fight harder, but it doesn’t seem to work. Please, stop. Don’t do this to me.

My eyes close and everything starts to fade away, I’m here, but I’m not. My heart is beating too fast, what is happening? I feel so wrong, this feels so wrong. I scream, but I’m not sure if it’s coming out of my mouth. My throat feels like it’s closing. Why does it feel like I can’t breathe?

There’s a loud bang and suddenly there’s no weight on me, I feel like I’m flying. My body is free, finally. I can just let go.

Nothing will hold me back anymore.