Broken

Chapter Two

The school bell rings as I flip my backpack over my shoulder, shutting my car door. I look over to see George and Katherine getting out of their car. Well, George’s car. Katherine got hers taken away after she got arrested for speeding with a drunk underage passenger. She’s always been the one person in my life that I’ve never known what to do with. Growing up she was this perfect little girl, who loved hanging out with her brother. Hell, I don’t know how many times she made George and I played house, or doctor. Shit, one time, she told me that if I didn’t play as the Ken to her Barbie, she’d tell her dad that I smacked her. And when I tell you that before her arrest she was the perfect prim and proper princess, I mean it. She could do no wrong. Even if her brother was always better academically, she was the one who never got into actual trouble, well at least with her father.

Her mother on the other hand, I would intentionally get her into trouble with her mother when she would make me do things I didn’t want to do. Like, when we were somewhere around five, she begged me to play with her but she had to be careful to not ruin her dress. And when I said no she kicked me and I ripped her dress. She got into so much trouble, and if I’m honest, I kind of liked getting her into trouble. I did my part, breaking her down, but I dont even know where to start building her back up.

Im the nerdy guy who hit puberty late and the girls are now realizing what they did when they treated me like shit. I want nothing to do with any of them. Not the Brittany Stephens’ or the Nicole Breshears. The girls who made fun of me for being smart, not looking a certain way, or just not being ‘cool’ enough. Last summer hit differently, I focused on getting into shape and turned it all around. Now Im the hot nerdy guy who doesnt want a second of their attention. Even though for the last several years, all I wanted was for one of them to notice me.

Katherine was different, she didnt see me as the nerdy guy, I was just her brothers friend, and picking on her became second nature. Once I started I couldn’t stop. She was so perfect, everyone loved her, well I think everyone but her mother. I’m not sure why her mother didn’t show her the attention she should have. I wanted to ruin her, break her down so I could build her back up. But that never happened. She got into trouble and then she became everything her parents didn’t want.

Last night, I had the perfect opportunity to move in when she snuck out. But instead, I chickened out, again. However, when George called me and told me that she was in trouble and needed help, I fucking ran. I ran to Max’s house in my stupid white slides and pink sock, shirtless and all. I found Knox on top of her, she was fucking faded. Her eyes closed and head tilted to the side as he tried to strip her. I saw red.

When I pulled Knox off her, I punched him so fucking hard that my knuckles hurt today. I look down at my hand, opening and closing it several times to see that my hand has definitely bruised. She slept the entire time as I walked back carrying her in my arms. When I got to her house, George opened the back door letting me in to get her to bed. I pulled her shoes off and tucked her in for the night, setting Tylenol and water on her nightstand. Then like the dumbass I am, I kissed her on the forehead. She surprised me with something, but I couldnt do or say anything about it. Whatever she took made her delirious, and I couldnt tell if it was the drugs or Katherine speaking to me. So I left her alone in her bed, with water and painkillers on the nightstand.

With her parting words continuously going through my head so often, its like shes still laying there, saying them to me as I look into her soul filled eyes. She has so much potential, but its like someone snuffed out the light in her.

I could have easily stayed over, crashing with George like I have before. But I couldn’t be there when she woke up, seeing her in that kind of a state took me for a spin. I wanted to beat Knox within an inch of his life. To hold her until she realizes shes going about this all wrong.

This morning though, she’s got her full Badass Kitty Kat momentum going. Her platform knee high black leather boots with metal buckles. A black pleated skirt with ripped black stockings attempting and failing to actually cover her thighs. Her hair is pulled up into two space buns with cat ears. She’s always rocking fat black winged eyeliner with her black lipstick and lip ring. She got her lip pierced for her eighteenth birthday, even though her mother nearly exploded when she walked through the door. My favorite part of her clothes though are the shirts that she wears. Sometimes its something as simple as a rock band, shredded to fit her perfectly. But the ones she wears with acronyms are my fucking favorite. I don’t know if she makes them herself or what, but I enjoy trying to figure out what they say.

Today, she’s rocking a shirt that says.

IYWFMGIL

Which blows my mind. I can’t wait to figure out what it means. It’ll drive me crazy until I figure it out. I have pages in a notebook where I write down what I think it is, and when I’ve settled on an answer, I ask. I’ve guessed them all right so far.

However, asking her requires talking to her, and I find it easier to make her life harder than actually talking to her like a normal human would.

I pull a notebook out of my bag real fast, using the hood of my car to set my bag down while I scribble down the acronym.

IYWFMGIL

This girl is an impossible drug. I can’t seem to stay away and yet I can never get close enough to actually enjoy the positive parts.

Although, I’m not exactly sure what drugs feel like either. I’ve never drank a drop of alcohol or done a single drug. Yes, I’m boring, I’m aware. I have good grades, I’m smart as fuck and I have plans for my life. If I want to go to Yale in the fall, which I already know that I am, then I need to keep my nose clean. Which means no fun. I always assumed I’d be able to enjoy some college experiences once I get there, but until I’m there, nope.

Tucking my notebook into my bag, I rush as the second bell rings for school to actually start. When I enter the school, I hear Kat and George talking. “Thanks for coming to get me last night and covering with the parents.” She says, nudging him in the shoulder.

“I didn’t, Kat. I told you that I had to study for finals.”

“Then who came to get me?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No, the last thing I can seem to remember is pink socks and white slides.” She shrugs at her brother, like being drugged and having a tool like Knox forcing himself on her is nothing. But, if she doesn’t remember, then maybe she should take that as a sign in itself. She’s taken this all way too far.

Then it hits me and my eyes go wide. If that’s all she can remember, then she was fucked up worse than I thought when I got her. That wiped out everything after me watching her fall, which was adorable as fuck. She’s so clumsy.

“If you don’t remember, then I’m not telling you. Maybe you should stop fucking partying and actually focus on what you’re going to do with your pathetic life.” George stomps off away from his sister. They’re twins, but ever since she got into trouble, George has been so angry at her.

He says he’s not, but before he would have never said something like that to her. I watch her face fall as she just nods and walks off. I rush up next to her, “Don’t worry about him, he’s just stressed about the finals.”

“I’m aware.” She snaps, dragging her feet as she watches her boots. “You better catch up, he might need your shoulder to cry on.”

The jab is sharp, deflecting her sadness into anger towards me stings a little. I turn to walk backwards so I can see her face when I say this, “Maybe if you weren’t worried about when the next party was or where you could get your next high, you’d remember last night.” I shrug, opening my arm up as my palms face upwards. “Then again, if you were anything like the girl you used to be, you would have asked your brother if he was okay.”

With that I leave her, turning and jogging to catch up with George. When I catch him, I knock him on his shoulder, “Sup dick.”

“Fuck off,West.”

“Hey, I ruined my night so you could keep studying. Maybe if you treated her better, she wouldn’t be acting out so badly. You and your whole fucking family is twisted, George. She’s a human, and humans fuck up. Remember when I covered for you about-”

“Shut up, you swore you’d never bring it up again.”

“Then stop treating her like she’s less than the dirt on the bottom of your shoes.”

“If she’d stop fucking up, then maybe I would.”

“You ever think that maybe she’s doing all of this as a cry for help. Or to get all of you to actually listen to her.” We turn to go down the senior hall, where our first class is. “After all, if you’d pay attention, shes screaming for someone to love her.” When did it become my job to fix the twins? They used to be able to talk to each other without saying a word. They lived in their own world, and I was lucky enough to be a part of it.

I don’t stick around to hear his excuses, turning into my first class. Math. Taking my seat, first row, three back, I drop into the chair and pull my notebook out. When I find the page with the new letters on it, I stare at them.

IYWFMGIL

What the hell is she trying to say today…. If you would. If you want.

If you want fingers. Wait, what? That’s wrong.

If you would find me…. Hmmm. probably not.

If you want fffffff.. No. There needs to be a T for the for that to work. Okay, so not that.

“West!” My name is shouted by the teacher, forcing me to snap up to attention in the seat.

“Yes?” The class laughs, fuckers, all of them staring at me.

“Glad you could join the class. Today, we’re doing the final for this class, then this will become your study hall to help prepare you for the rest of the week.”

“Yessir, I’m ready.” I say, tucking the notebook back into my bag.

The final packet is handed out, and when he clicks his pen, he counts us down like it’s some sort of trail. “Three, two, one. You have forty minutes to complete it.”

The room goes silent then there’s a burst of papers ripping as they dig into the packet. I insert my pencil between the pages, tearing the ‘tape’ that holds it closed. Flipping the first page open, I write my name at the top, and get started.

Fucking math. I’ll make you by bitch today.

When the final is over, we all turn in our packets and leave, single file line style, because Mr. Stickler, is literally a stickler for rules.

My next hour is a free period. It used to be office staff, but they don’t have students do that over finals week, so I basically have nothing to do for the next hour.

I find a quiet corner to sit in, letting my back hit the wall as I slide down, dropping my bag between my legs. Once seated though, I start digging that fucking notebook out again. I need to know what her shirt means.

If you want…. Okay. so again, there would be a T for the so maybe not that.

Oh, but if she wants to throw someone off, like she has before. Wanna…. It avoids using the, and it still gets the message across of want to. Now, even though wanna is not a proper word, she does like to use it.

If you wanna….

Okay, now the F.

Feel. Find. I can’t really think of other F words that would follow that.

If you wanna feel…

If you wanna find….

See Okay.

Next letter. M. Me?

If you wanna feel me…

If you wanna find me…

G.

Giggling. What the fuck are you trying to say Kitty Kat?

Okay. so, what would the I and L be then?

If you wanna… fuck? Me… no way she’d wear that, would she?

Then I think back to last night. The things that were about to happen to her. I scribble out the words, hoping this is not where she’s going with it. If you want to fuck me, get in line.

She remembers. She knows exactly what happened last night but was asking her brother if he knew. Fuck. She was reaching out for help and he smacked her down, and of course, I fucking kicked the girl while she was down.

I really am an asshole.

Even though I’ve been in love with her since we were four, I still can’t fucking help myself. I seem to just keep pushing her further and further away.

Fuck me. I shove the notebook into the bag again, kick up off the ground and take off down the hall. I used to know where she’d be during the second hour, because we did the same thing. Office hour. But this week, she could be anywhere.

I run down the hall, knowing damn well that there are tests happening all around me. Knowing damn well that I could get in trouble for it. But, she remembers.

And if she remembers him, then she should remember me. And what she did. I can’t let her hate herself for what happened, not after what that piece of shit did to her.

When I turn the corner, I stop and dip back around, careful to not be seen by the two people in the hallway.

“Get away from me, Knox.”

“Baby, I’m sorry for last night.” He pulls on her arm, trying to make her come closer to him. She rips it out of her grasp.

She kicks up, hard and right between his legs. “Shhhh, I’ve got you.” She says, landing the blow as he lets out a pained scream. “I’ll make it feel good.” She grabs his head and brings it down to her knee, smashing his face hard against it. He drops to the floor. “Now both eyes will blacken, not just the one. You’ll have a matching set.”

He groans, “You’ll pay for this baby.”

“Call me baby again, and I’ll find someone to shove their dick into you. I told you when you tried to kill me, that I’d never be with you again.”

Suddenly, that red vision is back. When he tried to kill her? When the fuck did that happen? Who is this and where did my sweet little Katherine go?