Chapter Three
Finals fucking suck.
It’s been the worst week ever. It just keeps dragging on. Thankfully, it’s all about to end. The last bell will ring in five, four, three… I watch the clock tick down, my knee bouncing with anticipation until the bell rings. The entire class shouts as we all get up racing for the exit.
Finals are over and we only have to come back for two days next week to finalize the damn graduation, get our yearbooks, and clean out our lockers.
I spent my entire week avoiding everyone. Knox has left me alone especially after the double black eye, busted nose, and sore nut sack.
Everyone in my life who supposedly cares about me seems to think they know whats best for me. I should be focusing on what college I want to go to. Or figuring out what I want to do with my life. But I barely survived the last year. How am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life when I dont even know what Im doing this summer?
Dragging my feet, I walk through the halls to the last door until my platform boots hit concrete stairs. Once Im outside, I make a beeline straight for Georges car, only its not where we parked this morning.
Looking around I watch as everyone else loads into cars and buses. The parking lot slowly empties, and theres still no sign of George.
Of course West’s car is still here, and of course hes walking towards me now. His stupid Viking body hidden beneath an oversized hoodie. “Come on, Katherine.” He nods for me to follow him to his car.
“Im not riding home with you.” I scoff, squishing my face in annoyance.
“Then have fun walking home.” He opens his back door on the driver side and tossed his bag in.
“Wheres George?” I ask. Stepping closer, not really wanting to walk home.
“He left already, they have that Yale tour this weekend.” He opens his door and falls into the car. I watch as he starts the car and looks over at me through the passenger window, looking stupid with his shit eating grin. Big man in a little car. The window rolls down and he leans over. “I was supposed to give you a ride, its been the plan for weeks, remember?”
Fuck, of course I remember, now that he reminded me. I fought with my parents for days about it. Begging them to let me have my car back for this one day so I didnt have to ride with him.
“Fine.” I say through gritted teeth. I open the door and drop in next to him. “Straight home. I have plans tonight.”
“Sneaking out again?” He asks as I shut the door.
“Probably. Its not like they let me do anything. Not to mention, theyre gone.”
“Maybe if you stopped doing dumb shit, theyd let you.” He shrugs, throwing the car in gear as he takes off.
I grip the door handle tightly and regret not putting my seat belt on instantly. “How about we just sit in silence until we get home.” I say as he slows back down, evening out his speed so we dont wreck.
Reaching over I buckle myself in and stare out through the window, counting the mailboxes as we drive.
Forty-two. There were forty-two mailboxes from the school to his driveway. “Thanks.” I say, unbuckling to get out of the car.
When I open the door I feel a hand on my arm and I yank it out, “Dont touch me, West.” I hate being touched right now. I still feel dirty after what Knox did.
I dont remember a lot of that night, but there are a few key items that ring a bell, loud and clear. Knox trying to force himself on me is still vivid.
“I didnt mean, sorry Katherine.”
“Kat.” I correct him. I dislike going by my full name.
“Katherine. Please. Dont go to the party tonight.” He says softly, like he actually cares.
“Westley. Mind your own fucking business.” I get out of the car and slam his door. Each step I take towards my house isnt fast enough to escape the sound of his door opening and shutting. I hear him following me, all the way to the front door.
When I unlock the door I step through and try to shut the door. He puts his foot and hand in the way, staring at me. “Katherine Winston. I swear to-” I look at his hand seeing the light bruising he has on his knuckles.
“Since when do you fight?” I nod towards the bruises.
“The guy deserved it.” Is all he says.
“If you say so. But, you arent in charge of me West. My parents and brother are all gone for the weekend. Even though Im all for them not being here and having the house all to myself, I also dont want to be here. So fuck you very much for the ride.” I push the door harder and he lets me shut it.
What. The. Actual. Fuck?
I swear shit just keeps getting weirder. I flip the lock on the door and run to the bathroom off my bedroom to get myself ready. But the second I look into the pink framed mirror I freeze.
All I see is an impostor. The broken promises of what could have been. All of their words break through, shattering me in every direction, like unraveling a spiderweb, just to watch the creature fall. Ive never been good enough for her. My heart slams against my chest as I snatch the scissors from the counter and start cutting away at my clothes. Watching the material fall to pieces around my feet like the dreams I once had.
Cutting away the edges just to see whats left underneath. Once all of my clothes are gone, my shoulders rise and fall from my quickening breath. Taking in a lung full of air, I let out a long, deep scream that was bursting at the seams.
Im bare, raw, and broken, all because of them. Their words cut deeper and deeper with each quick jab. Skating my eyes over my pale skin, I see the jagged red scar that sits just below my collar bone. My fingers gravitate towards it, shaking as I touch it. The memory comes flooding back like it was yesterday.
Knox kisses my neck, moving his hands further down until hes swirling his fingers against my clit. I feel everything, like were connecting through every little cell. Our bodies mingling. Im not sure what he gave me, but its intense.
He lifts his head, kissing my jaw until he reaches my ear, “I want you to suck me baby.”
I nod, breathing heavily as he pulls his fingers away from my sensitive clit. He stands up, letting me move to my knees on the floor. Ive never done this before, but right now Im willing to try it, after all, Ive already let him fuck me, whats the difference?
When he unzips his pants and pulls his cock out, I lick my lips, readying them for him. “Open.” He holds his cock, stroking it back and forth. I do as he says, opening as he pushes it into my mouth.
His other hand is wrapping my hair around his fingers, helping guide me. Showing me what to do. He starts slow, barely pushing in, and Ive gotta say, its kind of hot as I look up at his body to see him looking down at me.
When he starts to push in deeper, he smiles at me, “Breathe through your nose, open your throat.”
Taking in a deep breath, I do as he says, again. Only instead of pushing slowly he thrusts into me harshly. Shoving his cock so deep, I gag. But he doesnt pull back. “Breathe through it.” He growls, pushing further back.
My eyes swell with tears as I feel a burn in my throat. He pulls back, letting me breathe but the second Im finishing inhaling he shoves back in. Again and again until Im crying. I cant make a sound and I feel saliva running down my chin.
I push against his thighs, trying to stop him but when he doesnt stop but instead picks up speed, I do the only thing I can think of.
I bite down.
He lets go, screams out, and suddenly theres a sharp pain in my chest. Looking down, I see a pair of small scissors sticking out of my body.
I never told anyone what happened. Aside from Knox, no one knows, and no one will ever know. Hes forced me into sexual situations, stabbed me with small scissors, and yes, my dumb ass was still having casual sex with him.
Some people cut themselves, others burn themselves, hell I even hear of people writing on themselves. Me, I have sex and keep going back to Knox. He is my personal self harm tool. He provides me with a risky escape, because I never know what hell do.
However, I never thought hed drug me to have sex. Not when I give it to him freely. Have I been with others, yes but so far, none of them have given me the high that Knox does. The fear of, how will he hurt me this time.
But I cant run to him this time, when I need that rush, that feeling of what could happen if I let go.
Theres a sound in my room, and considering Im alone and naked, well except my boots, its a little concerning.
“Hello?” I say with shaky words. Putting the scissors in my hand, holding them so if I need to I can stab first and ask questions later.
When I open my bedroom door I scream. A large body pushes in into my bathroom and shuts the door.