Chapter Fifteen
I fucking hate Westley Sherman.
But goddamn, he knows how to please me. Each thrust he gives, takes a little part of me. Like a chink in my armor, the chains breaking slowly, link by link. The part of me that I’ve built up over the years of being a single mom, working two jobs, all so I can stand on my own two feet until I made my dream a reality.
Watching where our bodies come together was always my favorite part. I love watching my pussy swallow him whole, taking in every thick inch as he fucks me. He knows what I like, and my tastes haven’t changed since then. I’m more experienced, but when I look up into his dark eyes, I see him. Staring at me like he used to, melting the dark armor I’ve put around my heart. I can’t let him in. He’s always been too good for me, and I won’t ruin his life again.
My entire body moves for him, curving into him as he fucks me hard in our old biology room. Now, I’m not a prude, everyone is well aware. But having sex in our old school seems nostalgic.
There’s a hum in my body, building the ache to let go beckons me. To give him everything again. My nails dig into his forearms as my head falls back, letting out a cry. I snap my mouth shut when I realize I did that out loud. “Quiet Kitty, they’ll find us too quickly if youre loud.”
“HmmMmm.” I bite my lip, he pulls my top up around my mouth and shoves the fabric inside with two fingers.
“Such a good Kitty.” I can’t fucking stand myself right now, How did I let this happen? Because I’m a full size simp for this man. I look up at the ceiling as I throw my head back, a pencil sits in the plywood and much like me in this situation, it looks completely out of place.
I kick my heels into his thighs as he continues thrusting, and I’m about to fucking reach for the sky and just let the feathers float around me as I break apart into a million pieces.
“That’s right, come for me.” His teeth sink to my flesh, sending me over the edge as I bite down on my shirt. There are white lights dancing behind my closed eyes as I ride the pleasure straight into oblivion.
His thrusts slow until he’s bucking into me, spilling himself with a grunt and I feel as if we’ve reached a new level. The epitome of……pathetic. Look at me, I’ve been back here for all of a day and I’m already on my back. I swore I wouldn’t do this to myself again, swore if I ever put myself in this situation that I would remember the hurt and the heartache but here I am, on my back for him, cum leaking down my fucking thigh.
With a disappointing sigh, I push him away, adjusting my clothes, only I’m completely bare under the skirt because macho man here ripped my underwear clean off of me. Fucking perfect.
“You gonna run?” He asks, tucking his half hard cock back into his slacks.
“Run? You’re the one that does that. Not me.”
“Says the girl who left the town because she wanted to get away.”
“Says the guy who followed me. I left my heart in Utah, right where you last saw me.” I hop down from the table not bothering to clean the remnants of our tryst. Sticky thighs are all the reminder I need right now.
“Need a shower?” He asks, with a cocky fucking smile. I swear, when I last saw this man, he was a nerdy guy who had just found his dick and knew how to use it. Now he’s like some foul mouthed, sex demon. Granted he always knew how to fuck me.
“I’ll pass, thanks.” I snip. “This was fun and all, but I hope I never see you around?” Was that too much? Sometimes it’s hard to tell these days.
“Maybe a change of clothes then, so you don’t go back to your daughter smelling of sex with ripped clothes?” His chivalry is showing again, fucking whiplash with this guy.
“Are you bipolar?” I blurt, “Do you realize the mood swings are a symptom? I don’t know if you’re coming or going.”
“Seriously? The mental breakdowns and manic behavior you had five years ago did a number on my fucking head. I’d watch you go from laughing to cutting your clothes off and breaking shit. And you think a little rough fuck and nice manners is considered bipolar?”
He’s got me there, I started medication after I had McKenna and I’m basically a different person mentally than I was then. Sort of, at least that’s what I tell myself in hopes of making it reality.
“After what you went through with Knox, I lost my fucking mind when I saw the two of you in here together, and I just couldn’t let it go, so, if you’re okay with it. I’d like to offer you a ride wherever so you can clean yourself up and get back to your daughter.” He holds a hand out for me, sparking memories of the good times we had together. The way he was, the kind soul mixed up with the dark soul. We were the light and dark, the polar opposites that melded together perfectly. Which is why I had to let him go in the first place.
“Fine, but only to the Inn. McKenna isn’t there anyway. She’s spending the night with someone.” I reply, taking his hand as he leads me out of the biology room. We run down the hall as if we’re still kids. Once we’re outside, I breathe in the fresh air. It doesn’t smell like it does back home. PNW air just hits differently than this shit here.
He helps me into the car and we take off, just like we did back then. I’m so fucking screwed. I’ll let him have one night, one. Then it’s back to reality. I have a daughter to take care of, and he’s not ready for a life with me. He’s still got big plans, and I’m still a burden.
When we’re at the Inn, I unlock the door and let him in a laugh on my lips as he bites and kisses at my neck. “Shower?” He asks. I point to the bathroom as he kicks the door shut.
“I can shower myself.” I tell him.
“I can’t.” he says, helping me to the bathroom, stripping my clothes off as we go. My jacket is long gone, then my shirt, and skirt. When all I’m left in is my boots, he flicks the light on, and I’m staring at myself in the mirror again.
The bitch is back, judging me for my choices. For keeping my secret from him. For letting him think there’s a chance when we both know it’ll never work. Not the way he wants it to.
“Come back.” West kisses my cheek, “You were staring.” His words are soft, leading me back to us. Where I don’t belong. “The shower’s ready.”
“‘kay.” I say, blinking back to reality. West lifts my leg and unzips my first boot, sliding it off my foot. Then repeats the motion with the other one. I let him help me further, why am I letting him take care of me. My mind is a jumbled mess. He makes me a jumbled mess. Feelings.
I don’t do feelings. I remind myself. He’s just another passerby, one that can help me get through the night.
LIES. My head screams, Westley Sherman will never just be another guy. He’s the father of my child, the only man I have ever loved. The only man to ever love me. I broke when he left, even if I pushed him away, but had to build myself up for McKenna.
He lathers soap into my black scrubby and washes my back, taking his time as he runs a hand over my body, one slow inch at a time. His arms wrap around me as I feel his front against my back, his cock pressing into my ass as I lean back. “So fucking beautiful.” He whispers into my ear.
“Stop West. No feelings.” I tell him, just as I did all those years ago. “I have a daughter to think about.”
“Fuck your no feelings rule, you feel this, I know you fucking do. It’s been the bane of my existence since I first tasted you.” Every fiber of my being belongs to my daughter, it always has. She’s what’s important, and throwing him in the mix just makes things messy. A mess I don’t think I could handle.
I close my eyes and just listen to his words, feeling them vibrate against my back. I know he’s right, he’s always been right. To him we are endgame, but how can we be endgame if there’s another player involved? One that he doesn’t know about outside of passing comments. We went from a two player game to a three player game.
While he was gone, I could handle my two player game. He was a distant thought, granted it rears its ugly head every single time I look at McKenna, she looks so much like him it’s uncanny. If he saw her, he would know. The knife twists in my gut when she asks about her father. Why doesn’t she have a daddy like her friends? I feel the tears swelling in my eyes and my throat burns, but I’ll be damned if I let them fall. I swallow hard, pushing those emotions back down where they belong.
When he looks into her face, it won’t be a secret anymore. I still don’t know why George hasn’t told him, holding it over my head for whatever sick and twisted reason he has, has forced many sleepless nights. What if he did tell him though? How would I handle it? Would it be easier than looking him in the eye and telling him that he has a piece of his heart walking around outside of his body?
“When do you pick McKenna back up?” He asks, resting his chin on the top of my head. His hands move languidly across my sides, tracing my rib cage like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I revel in his touch for a moment longer, this bubble we’re in is seconds away from the ground and the pop is going to be catastrophic.
“Tomorrow morning before we leave for the airport.”
“Airport?” He asks, shock in his tone.
“Yes, to go home. I’m not staying here any longer than I have to.” I need to get away from here, the memories are too much, the family drama is unhinged, not to mention, he has a fucking fiance that he’ll have to deal with. McKenna doesn’t need any of this in her life. She only knows peace and love, as that’s all I’ve ever given her.
“Where’s home?” His voice is soft, but I can hear the desperation in his voice.
“On the west coast without being coastal. Just like I always wanted.” A smile curves my lips as I think about the desert landscape and crisp morning air. I found a home, granted, it wasn’t what I wanted to start out with, but when I was eight months pregnant, it was the best I was going to get. However, the longer I stayed, the less I wanted to leave. It’s home.
“And where is that Kitty?”
“Eastern Washington-ish.” I answer vaguely. Eastern Washington is massive and tiny towns dot the area, it would be hard to pinpoint just one.
“That’s super helpful.”
“It’s all you’re getting West. It’s my life and I don’t want to fuck things up. So for tonight, we’ll ride down memory lane, but in the morning. I’m going home, with my daughter.” I shouldn’t have emphasized the word my. Fuck, hopefully he didn’t catch that. I turn around to face him, inspecting his face to see if he noticed my slip up.
“I get it okay, you’re somebody’s mom but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still the woman I love. Let me take care of you, just for tonight?”
“What about your fiance?” I ask, grabbing the tiny shampoo bottle from the shelf aggressively.
“What about her?” He asks like it doesn’t even matter that he’s promised to someone else.
“Um, won’t she be pissed when you don’t even bother to come home?” I ask, squirting a small amount of shampoo in my palms and lathering my hair up quickly.
“I’ll deal with that tomorrow, tonight Kitty, that’s all I’m asking.” His eyes hold mine, pleading with me to give him this.
“Fine,” I answer, turning my head to put it under the water. I wash the shampoo from my hair and push down the need to scream that tonight is too much and not enough.
Tomorrow everything will be back to normal, it’ll just be McKenna and I and the life that we’ve built. Nothing more, nothing less.