32- Ariyah “Nova” Stevens
After spending the night with Landon, I was mentally exhausted.
We weren’t laid up in the bed rekindling old feelings.
Our asses sat in the gym talking about the situation at hand.
We weren’t good, but we weren’t in a bad place either.
I think it boils down to him no longer trusting me.
I didn’t give him a chance to even explain what happened.
I took what was said and ran with it. That wasn’t on Stone.
It was my own insecurities that allowed that to happen.
I had been saying since the beginning, there was no way this could be real.
Why would it be? I don’t deserve him. He planted the seeds, and I let them grow.
Pulling up to the house, I jumped out with confrontation on my mind.
Yeah, I already knew what Stone did, and the reasons behind it. I didn’t know how he knew Tan and if she was always part of the plan. Walking in the house, I went straight to the den. Stone was sitting in there looking pretty sure of himself. In his mind, he won.
“We need to talk.” Stone looked up at me before returning his stare to the TV.
“I’m not doing this with you today.”
“You don’t have to do anything but answer my questions.” He sighed before turning the TV off and looking toward me.
“I don’t owe you shit, but go ahead. I’ll bite.”
“How did Tan know where I was?” Stone started laughing before shaking his head.
“Is that all you care about? How I knew the bitch your lil nigga was fucking?” I wasn’t about to let him deter me.
“How did Tan know where I was? Did you have her come to the restaurant that day as well?” He raised his eyebrow. He was shocked I knew that. “Cut the shit Stone, I know everything. Well, almost. I don’t understand how Tan fit into everything.”
“You want the truth, fine! I didn’t know her before that day. She came in there yelling at him how he couldn’t do this to her. I’m guessing she was mad about you. He threw her out, and I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Slipped out back and told her we had a lot in common.”
“So, the night I went out with Charly. You sent her?”
“I just provided an opportunity for the both of you to meet. All I had to do was pretend to care about you, and you lined it up without me having to do any work.” I thought about that night, and he was right.
He told me to be safe, and I told him I’d share my location.
I wasn’t used to him being concerned, so I fell for it.
Same shit once I thought Landon played me.
I was the one that told him to find me a new gym.
It was exactly the response he was hoping for.
“Wow!” No response. “Do you know what I felt like in that moment? Hearing her say all that shit about him. I’ve never felt so low and played in my life.” He shrugged. “What did you say to her to get her to play along?”
“The truth. She wanted you away from him, so that meant we wanted the same thing. I got her number and told her I’d call her as soon as I had something set up. When you went out, I told her it was now or never. After what he did for you, that was the time to do it.”
“Because that’s when it would hurt me the most,” I whispered.
“To hurt Breaker.”
“BY USING ME!” I couldn’t control myself anymore. He was sitting here unphased after ripping my life apart.
“All she was supposed to do was create doubt. I needed you away from Breaker, and Danger needed him off his game. Everybody got what they wanted in the end.”
“Everybody but me.”
“I was protecting your career.”
“By destroying my relationship? Make that make sense.”
“Please. You didn’t have a relationship. That shit wasn’t real.”
“I DID! We had something. No matter how small you thought that was, it was still everything to me, and it wasn’t yours to take.”
“You were losing focus.”
“No, you were losing control.” When he didn’t respond, I knew I had it right. “He came around and started doing shit for me that you should’ve done. Couldn’t do. He hurt your fucking feelings, and you in turn, hurt mine.”
“I gave you everything, Ariyah. I was there whenever you were in trouble, bailing you out. Backing a fucking career that was going nowhere. Where the hell was he? Breaker came in at the ass end like he was the man, when I had already done the work.”
“Yup, you did all of that, and right after you gave me an invoice for it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I paid in one way or another whenever you were helping me. I had to bow down and do whatever you said even if I knew it was wrong.”
“I don’t have to listen to this. You have completely lost your mind.”
“You’re absolutely right.” Walking toward the door, I turned back. “I also don’t have to let you represent me anymore.” Storming out, I walked past my mama and Briana with Stone on my heels.
“Ariyah, wait a fucking minute! You can be mad about whatever you want, but you can’t fire me.”
“I just did.”
“You think I’m not a good father? Fine, I don’t give a fuck. I’m not your daddy anyway, but don’t sit here like I wasn’t a damn good agent. That’s some ungrateful shit.” Before I could respond, Briana laughed.
“Bitch won one fight, and now she wants everybody to kiss her ass. You don’t need her, Daddy. Let her go.” My head snapped in her direction.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“Ariyah, watch your mouth!” There she was. The mother I knew. “They are only looking out for you. No need to be nasty.” Hearing her say that in this moment, it was as if everything stopped. I had no more fight in me, and I finally understood.
“You have never been my mother.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why? Because it hurts? What? You gone tell me how you’ve done everything for me too?
Funny thing is that’s exactly what you should’ve done.
That’s what parents do. You didn’t though.
You did everything to make sure he stayed.
You were so worried about this nigga leaving you and taking his money, you forgot you had a child. ”
“That is not true.” She actually looked offended.
“You made sure I didn’t bother Stone, or that I didn’t make Briana feel unwanted.
Made sure I wasn’t too loud. Too angry, but I was.
I lost my father and you wanted me to move on like it didn’t bother me.
I was a kid, and you all treated me like I was something in the way.
This girl lied on me, antagonized me, even took things she thought I could never get back. ”
“Ariyah, you were always getting worked up. You know she didn’t mean any of that.”
“Naw, she meant exactly what the fuck she said.”
“Then stop acting childish and let’s get back to business.” Hearing Stone say those words brought it home for me. I looked around at all three of them, and I was tired. No longer angry, and I no longer cared to make this work.
“I spent my whole fucking life trying to figure out what I could do to show you all I was enough. I thought if I stopped getting in trouble, that would work. If I won fights and made more money, somehow, I would be enough. I learned something in that ring though. I am enough, and I’ve been enough.
I’m just too much for this fucking family. ”
“Ariyah.”
“No, mama. I’m done. No more playing nice.
I wanted approval so bad, I let Stone get in my head.
I ended up hurting the one person who knew from the beginning that I was more than enough.
I’m going to fix it though because I don’t want him going around life feeling like I’ve been feeling.
With that being said, you all have a good life.
Fuck you!” I pointed at Stone. “Fuck you!” I pointed at my mother.
“And damn sure fuck you!” I pointed at Briana. Stone laughed.
“You can say fuck everybody in this house, but as long as you’re under this roof, you gone do what I want you to do.”
“Welp, guess I’m homeless then.” I walked toward the door.
“Might as well, you already look like it.” Stopping, I turned to look at her.
“You’re lucky I’ve learned that I don’t have to fight to prove who I am.” I walked out the door and made it three steps before turning around. Saying fuck it, I went back inside. Before Briana could understand what happened, I drew my hand back and slapped the taste out her mouth.
“Ariyah!” My mother yelled out in defense of her once again.
“What? A lil slap ain’t never hurt nobody.” Smiling, I walked out. I was growing, but I wasn’t there yet. I was still new in my ministry. Getting in the car, I drove towards a hotel to book a room. This had to be what freedom felt like, and it felt good.