Chapter 8 - Tyler
Desperately needing something to let loose, I pick up my cell phone and send a text to Dominic Rivera. I can only hope that he's there in my time of need, just as I was during a time when he needed to be reminded not to ruin what he felt for his true mate.
I've already ruined things with mine, and there's no going back. She made sure to remind me of that last night when she slapped me.
Truthfully, I don't know what came over me, except a flicker of jealousy when I thought about her with another man again.
I need to stop doing that, and that's why I've decided to keep my distance. Even if she's living in my house now, I can avoid her.
That's why I took my work to my father's office when he announced this morning that he and my mother were going away for a holiday. It's the first time since Tyson's passing that they feel free enough to leave Portland and visit Greece, like my father always promised my mother.
I sigh as I drop my forehead on a bound folder, mulling over staying in my parents’ home while they're gone. I haven't told them that an ex, widowed member of Moonshine, returned, with a child, and is living in my house with her son.
It's better that way, since I don't need to be questioned about my motives. But soon, everyone in Moonshine will hear about it, and my only excuse is that her old cottage needs to be sorted before it's rendered livable.
As if you need to answer to anyone…
I lift my head with a frown, shaking off my trepidations with the reminder that I am the alpha now.
I don’t have to answer to anyone, and I especially don't need to give Arianna any sort of space in my own house.
It's ridiculous!
Squaring my shoulders, I open my folder and sign the alliance contract that's been sent over by Bloodclaw.
The newly formed alliance with the current alpha will come in handy when my friend, Hunter, completes his trials.
I don't doubt that he will, since I've seen what he's capable of while we were in the black ops squad together.
But I also saw what I was capable of. How am I going to let a she-wolf get in my head and turn me insane?
Not happening!
As I scoff, I send a mind link to my beta to let him know that the alliance has been signed, and he's to take the contract back to Concord.
My instructions are firm, void of any pleasantries, because they’re not necessary.
Just as avoiding Arianna in my own home isn't necessary. I just need to get through this day and face her, and give her no indication that I'm fazed by how she moved on without me.
All that matters is that she's back now, and I can protect her—something my inner wolf requires to be at ease. Even if I can't make her my mate, she's safe.
***
I walk into my house after a busy day of making calls, signing updated agreements, and trading with neighboring packs, half-expecting to be greeted by Arianna when I get home.
Sighing heavily, I realize that I shouldn't be expecting much. Not only is it late at night, but Arianna is nothing more than a fellow pack member, one who returned to Portland seeking refuge from the dangers I've witnessed out there, for her and her son.
I can't be angry with her, and I can't throw her out when it was my idea for them to move in. I can't go back on my word, either, even if my collar feels too tight when I remember that she didn't return alone, but with a child.
A child she had with another man…
Groaning in irritation, I snap the first button on my shirt, popping it for momentary relief when I decide I need something strong enough to quell the way I'm feeling.
At this rate, I might be considered a drunk if not for my wolf's fast-working metabolism to burn off the liquor before rendering me mad.
It would have been good to lose myself for a moment so I wouldn't regret coming home, where I'm too upset to face Arianna, but determined to stay rooted in my house.
Avoiding the hallway, I quietly make my way to the kitchen, my ears perked to listen for any sounds that might indicate that she's awake.
But the house is quiet, so I try to be stealthy as I get out a bottle and glass to pour myself a drink.
Just as I'm about to close the cabinet door, I hear the sound of tiny feet padding down the hall and stopping at the doorway leading to the kitchen.
My heart slows down, and my breath hitches in my throat as I slowly pull my head back from the shield of the cabinet door, only to meet hazel eyes that glitter like gold.
“Hey, buddy…” I greet the boy kindly as I close the door and turn to give him my full attention. “Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?”
The boy shakes his head as tiny fists rub his sleepy eyes, his lips forming a pout. “I hungry,” he murmurs as he pads forward, waddling and swaying as if he can barely stand on his feet.
My heart begins to race when I recall what it was like being that age, on the fine line between oblivion and discovering that I was born to be a shape-shifting wolf. I was always hungry, always in search of a late-night snack, and my older brother Tyson would always come to the rescue.
Now that I'm seeing it from the other side of the spectrum, there's a tug on my heartstrings that instantly makes me soften toward the little boy. When he stops rubbing his eyes and looks up at me, curiously, expectantly, I know that I can't be upset with Arianna about moving on.
Not when the little boy is the spitting image of her, with pin-straight black hair swept to the left on his forehead, contrasting the soft warmth of his hazel eyes.
I remember the warmth I felt radiating off his mother on that fateful night, and it serves as a reminder of how cruel I was to her, glaring at her as if her claim was preposterous.
How can I blame her for moving on and finding the happiness I couldn't give her?
“What would you like, buddy?” I ask as I crouch in front of the boy. “I have some beef jerky in the fridge.”
Noah frowns, tilting his head curiously to one side. “Beef jockey? Wha's that?”
Chuckling, I gesture toward the fridge in the corner with a nod. “Beef jerky,” I correct him and open the door to pull out the brown bag. I grab a stick of seasoned dry meat and hold it out to him.
As soon as he sniffs and catches a whiff of the meat, his eyes widen, and he grabs the jerky, gnawing at the dry meat when he fails to get a bite off.
“The trick is to pull on it,” I say as I take one out for myself and demonstrate how to take a bite. “Once you get a piece, you can chew on it until it's soft, so you can enjoy all the flavors.”
Noah nods as he keenly watches me, doing as I showed him and humming in delight.
He's just about to take another bite when he suddenly turns and calls out, “Mama!” as if he felt her presence long before she made it down the hall.
Arianna appears at the doorway, her frown flicking between Noah and me.
“What's going on?” she asks, her voice hoarse.
“Noah woke up and wanted a snack,” I explain calmly as Noah rushes to his mother and holds up his half-eaten jerky, still chewing on some. “I had some beef jerky in the fridge. Want some?” I offer as I hold out the bag.
Arianna pauses as if she's gauging my calmness, then reaches down for her son and scoops him up.
She offers him a smile as he chirps about how good the snack is, his voice muffled from his full mouth, but when she turns to me, her icy-cold glare lets me know that she hasn't forgiven me for last night.
It's not like I could give her any explanation as to why I was watching her sleep, unable to fall asleep myself when she was in the bedroom next to mine.
“No thanks. You should have woken me up,” she says with a disgruntled huff.
“It's not a problem. I just got back in, anyway.”
“You don't need to do anything for him,” she retorts, her lips pursing into a firm, indifferent line. “I can take care of Noah myself.” She turns to him then, and continues, “I've been doing it for—” she abruptly cuts off, her body visibly tensing as she lifts her horror-stricken eyes to me.
“How long have you been out there alone?” I ask, sensing that there's something she's not telling me. Perhaps her mate didn't die recently, and they've been navigating life without a home and provisions for longer than I thought.
Arianna gulps as she shakes her head. “It doesn't matter.” She turns back to Noah as if to change the conversation. “Do you want something else to eat, Noah-kins? Or do you wanna go back to bed?”
“Bed!” he says energetically as he sticks up an arm with a pointed finger. Arianna chuckles lightly, kissing his forehead before she turns to me with a curt nod, the smile wiped from her face.
“Thank you,” she says shortly before turning and carrying Noah down the hall and disappearing into his bedroom.
I sigh and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, a frown furrowing my brows. I wish Arianna would just open up to me and let me know what her life has been like all these years, but she's obviously still apprehensive since I was the one who pushed her away from the start.
Another heavy sigh escapes my lips as I return the bag of beef jerky to the fridge and go back to pouring myself a drink. I pull out my cell phone, reading Dominic's text again, in which he promised to visit next weekend.
In the meantime, I can't ignore what my inner wolf has been pushing me toward—making amends for the way I behaved in the past. I'll just do what I need to do to show Arianna that I've changed, and that Portland is still a safe home for her and her son.
That's all that matters—her safety and her son's.
It doesn't matter that I still find her irresistible. That's not the reason for doing better. My personal feelings have never mattered when it comes to doing what's right for her and for everyone in this pack. That's the only way everyone stays safe.