Chapter 9 - Arianna
The smoky aroma of bacon comes drifting from the crack under my door, and it prompts me to wake up and slide out of bed, instantly crossing the hall to the room Noah is sleeping in, my maternal instincts kicking in, as if I need to protect him from Tyler's kindness.
What happened last night shouldn't have happened. What if the two of them get too close, and Tyler discovers that Noah is actually his son?
It'll ruin everything I've worked hard for, and I might be forced to leave Portland again, and right now, it's the only place safe enough for us where I can figure out why I've been dreaming about James following me, chasing me, hunting me down.
It happened again last night. I always suspected that he was a creep, but was it enough to evoke this kind of uneasiness in me?
Shivering into myself, I pad into the room Noah is asleep in, waking him up gently with a soft kiss on his forehead. He bats his eyelids as his eyes go from dark to a softer shade of hazel, and his lips lift in a smile.
I frown as I watch him turn from dark to light, as if tapping into his wolf in his sleep and waking up to his human self. I've never seen his eyes do that before, and I suspect it's because we're in Portland with Moonshine, and he's near his father.
Knowing that I won't be able to keep the truth a secret for too long, I'll have to start digging deeper into my dreams and why James is haunting me. I thought that coming here would stop the dreams if I felt safer, but they've only become worse.
I clear my throat as I take a seat beside Noah, my worries momentarily fading as I stroke his soft, plump cheek. Just as I'm about to suggest that we take a morning stroll through the garden like we did yesterday, a gentle rap on the door grabs Noah's attention, his eyes filling with wonder.
“Good morning,” Tyler greets, and my heart sinks as it's struck by the tenderness in his tone. I just can't seem to forget that he'd been mean in the past, his bitter rejection breaking my heart so badly that I swore I'd never trust another man in my life.
The only time he'd been mean again since I returned was when I slapped him the other night, a flicker of cruel, brutal jealousy flickering in his eyes. At least, that's what I thought it was, and he’d sounded derisive when he spoke about me being with someone else.
Like he was jealous.
Like he couldn't bear the thought of me being with another man.
It's what I suspect, because as his fated mate, I'd never stand the thought of him being with another she-wolf. It would drive me insane.
But even then, he's the alpha, and he had every right to punish me for assaulting him, but he did nothing.
Little does he know that he couldn't be farther from the truth, believing that I'd carried another man's child. Perhaps a little bout of jealousy is a way for me to gauge if he has suspicions, and so far, there are none.
“Would you two like to join me for breakfast?” he asks sweetly, prompting me to turn with a skeptical eye. But even after inspecting his gorgeous face, I find no malice or ill intent, leading me to wonder if he's changed.
He's been nothing but nice to us, and it confuses me. Where I'm supposed to hate him for what he did in the past, I'm left questioning if a destined alpha can change.
A lot has changed since the last time I was here, like Tyler's new home and the budding flowers in his garden, but a lot hasn't changed, either.
The pack still seems to operate under the old rulings of trading amongst each other instead of working in the human towns, only visiting there to collect supplies and resources to keep Portland running smoothly and independently.
It's backward, much like the other rulings of the pack that dictate an alpha must have a mate of high rank in the pack hierarchy. I always suspected that was the reason Tyler rejected me and dismissed my claim that we were true mates.
But it doesn't excuse what he did.
That's why only Noah perks up, quickly scrambling to his feet off the bed and eagerly nodding as he accepts Tyler's offer. I sigh defeatedly, knowing that I can't keep Noah away from a male figure who's only proving to be kind as each day goes by.
Gulping hard and swallowing down the truth that only I know, I stand up just as Noah grabs my hand and tugs eagerly.
“Breakfast, Mama!” he chirps, his eyes sparkling like honey pots with the promise of filling his ever-growing appetite. I can't stop the smile from spreading across my face, and nod.
“Of course, Noah-kins,” I giggle as I let Noah lead me to the door. “Let's have breakfast.”
We pass Tyler on our way out of the bedroom, and he's only left a small space for us to pass when he takes a step back.
I hold my breath, not wanting to catch his distinct scent that might make this harder for me.
I clear my throat on the breath I'm holding, showing my indifference by not meeting his eyes, my mind racing with the thought that keeping this secret is going to be impossible as time goes by.
Tyler is an alpha, and Noah is an alpha's son. Eventually, both of them will feel the bond.
I can only imagine that Tyler will reject it, the way he rejected our mate bond.
It's why I fled Portland and the Moonshine Pack when I discovered I was pregnant with Tyler's child after that fateful night.
I swore that my son would never face the rejection I did, and he'd never have his heart broken.
I know I need to figure out what's been haunting me, and why, while I'm here and protected from whatever upturned my cottage in Salem. No more distractions, even if Tyler is the biggest one.
Noah leads me to the kitchen, where the breakfast table is spread with the bacon I smelled cooking, scrambled eggs, toast, and pancakes.
I can't help but frown when I notice how much effort Tyler put into setting three plates around the table, feeling as if his effort is a means to make up for the way he behaved in the past.
But I just can't let my walls down, even if he's trying. As I take a seat, I mentally turn icy cold and unaffected by his efforts, not wanting to give him the power to hurt me again.
It happened before, and I won't let it happen a second time.
“What would you like first, buddy?” Tyler asks Noah as he takes the seat at the head of the table and chuckles when he notices Noah's wondrous eyes raking over the breakfast spread.
“Pancakes!” Noah exclaims, wiggling in his chair when Tyler stacks three pancakes on his plate. He dives right in, taking a huge bite of a pancake and humming his delight.
“Want some?” Tyler asks as he turns to me, his arm stretched over the table toward the pancake stack.
“I can get my own, thanks,” I say bluntly as I reach for a single pancake, my appetite fizzling away when I remember to remain uptight. I can't let this kind gesture meddle with my head and make me forget what he did all those years ago.
It's the reason why he doesn't know that Noah is his son, and it needs to stay that way. But despite this, Tyler and Noah seem to be getting along, and they munch through breakfast, listing their likes and dislikes when it comes to food.
“My mother always makes pancakes for me for breakfast,” Tyler proudly boasts, to which Noah snorts.
“Me too,” he says, equally pridefully. “Mama make pancakes all time!”
Tyler chuckles, but I'm left with buzzing in my ears from the panic of the realization that they're more alike than I thought.
This is going to be hard, and Tyler is making it harder by putting in all this effort that seems to be forging a bond between him and our son.
Guilt rides up my spine and settles in my throat like bile that I have to force down with the freshly squeezed orange juice I pour out.
Everything I can see in front of me screams that Tyler doesn't deserve to be kept from the truth, while a tiny voice in my head whispers that I can't ignore the way he hurt me in the past, and I need to protect myself and my son from his rejection.
I just can't stand watching them bond, riddled by guilt that makes the scene in front of me insufferable when Tyler stacks more pancakes on Noah's plate, then tops it with bacon and pours a generous helping of syrup over it.
“Have you ever had all of these together?”
“No…” Noah shakes his head as he frowns at his plate.
“Tell me what you think,” Tyler says as he leans back and watches Noah curiously inspect the pairing that appears strange to him.
It's something he's never tasted before, but Noah appears to trust Tyler and takes a bite of the mixture of food, his eyes widening with shock and delight as he stares at Tyler.
“Is good!” he exclaims through his mouthful, and Tyler chuckles.
“I know, right?” he winks at Noah, about to go back to his own plate, when the doorbell rings and Tyler instantly gets to his feet.
When he leaves the kitchen, relief washes over me purely because I don't have to watch them bonding anymore. I offer Noah an encouraging smile to continue with his meal, hearing faint chatter from the front door and footsteps coming in.
Tyler is probably busy with his alpha tasks, and that works out better for me.
“Arianna Hart…?”
A shocked gasp prompts me to lift my eyes just in time to see a familiar face walking through the doorway. She comes directly toward me, giving me no time to stand up before her arms close around my shoulders.
“Brynta…” I giggle, lighthearted, as she steps back and takes a moment to rake her eyes over my face.
She reaches out and sweeps the ends of my hair, and chuckles. “You haven't changed a bit. Except for the haircut. It suits you.”
Shaking my head slowly in disbelief, my eyes flicker to Tyler leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, his chuffed expression giving away the fact that he's behind Brynta's visit.
The redhead was my only friend in Moonshine growing up, and we'd been relatively close.
Relatively, because I couldn't tell her about what happened between Tyler and me in the past. She'd been so busy working at the pack center, and after what happened, I didn't trust anyone enough to give away my secrets.
I'd left without telling her, and she's obviously surprised when she spots Noah at the table.
“Is that…your son?” Brynta gasps, and when I nod, she lightly slaps my shoulder. “I can’t believe it! He looks just like you!”
Brynta rushes around the table and instantly wraps her arms around Noah. “I'm your mother's friend. What's your name?”
“Noah,” he says, his voice muffled by her arms. When she finally releases him, Noah giggles as he stares at me. “Like Aunt Lyra…”
“Yeah,” I chuckle. “Brynta is just like Aunt Lyra.”
“Who is Lyra? And where have you been all this time? You have to tell me everything!” Brynta exclaims. “I'm managing the pack center now, so I could only stop by for a quick visit. But you must come by and tell me everything!”
“I will,” I relent with a sheepish smile, somewhat relieved that Brynta's warm welcome has me feeling less alone.
Even if Tyler had offered his home to us, I've been maintaining my distance and clinging to the walls I'd built to keep my heart protected from him, and I've been wary about exploring the rest of Portland and showing Noah around, unsure of how the others will receive us once they find out that I came back as a single mother.
Brynta's warmth extends to her bidding us goodbye for now as she hugs me again and reveals that the alpha was the one who told her about my return. Just as I suspected, he was behind it, and it's probably another attempt to get me to open up to him.
I'm smarter than I was in the past, and I know that I shouldn't let my guard down.
Brynta's visit at least brings me ease, and I'm more confident about roaming around freely without being bothered by anyone who might object to my return.
I've never had trouble before, and I don't want any trouble now, especially since trouble is what forced me back to Portland.
That's why I have to do some digging that might bring me answers as to why I've been having those strange dreams about James. Is it tied to the stranger I met at the diner, and finding our cottage in Oakland thrashed? Is it linked to my inner wolf's voice warning me to come back?
“Ari…” Tyler clears his throat when he's back at the table after Brynta leaves, snapping me from my overthinking mind. One brow is raised expectantly, as if he's waiting for me to thank him for calling Brynta over.
I remind myself that I cannot grow weak around him despite his efforts to chip away at my walls. If he thinks this makes up for breaking my heart and spirit in the past, he has another thing coming!
“It was nice of Brynta to stop by,” I say, stuffing my mouth with some pancakes.
I haven't suddenly grown an appetite, but I'll be damned if I show him that anything he does affects me.
With a nonchalant shrug, I continue, “I think I'm gonna visit her at the pack center.
If she's managing the place now, I'm sure she can squeeze me in.”
“To do what, exactly?” Tyler frowns.
“Anything,” I sniff, thinking that it's time I got out of Tyler's house. “Laundry, cooking. I'd like to enroll Noah in the nursery, but I'll have to pay for it. Isn't that how the pack operates?”
Tyler takes a deep breath as he leans back and crosses his arms. I can't help but notice the way his muscles flex, and it takes every ounce of self-control to keep my eyes to myself.
“That won't be necessary. Noah can attend without you having to pay.”
“That sounds a little unfair, don't you think? Everyone has to pay,” I murmur.
Tyler huffs irritably. “I am the alpha—”
“And it won't look good for you to favor anyone,” I say, raising my brows and staring at him firmly. “Especially not a single mother who left without telling anyone.”
Tyler stares back at me through narrowed eyes, his jaw clenching as he contemplates what I said. “Fine,” he relents at last, picking up his juice. “I'll tell Brynta you can start working at the center after the weekend.”
I thank him with a curt nod, maintaining my coolness despite wondering if there's any reason for the long wait. At least he's agreed to it, and it gives me time to find my footing again in Portland, and maybe take some time to visit my parents’ graves and our old cottage.
Maybe I can fix the place up and move there with Noah. Working at the pack center will give me some freedom, even if I'm a prisoner to the way the alpha makes me feel by simply being around him, and a prisoner to the hatred I refuse to let go of.