Chapter 14
In the dungeons I couldn’t sleep.
Not really.
It was too quiet, too still and dark. It was cold, the sort of cold that settles into your very soul and makes camp there. I couldn’t get comfortable on that floor, even with the blankets. I couldn’t stop thinking about how Alek was doing, I worried constantly whether he was still breathing and what would happen when Nikolai returned home. What the future might hold for us.
But here, in the room that Daniel showed us to after awkwardly walking in on us in a rather compromising position, I can’t say that I’ve ever slept better in my life. Alek had softly and loosely bound my hands in a bit of gauze to keep from touching him in his sleep, but he had pulled me against his warm body, spooning me against his chest before falling asleep like that. Having to be careful of when and where I touch him seems like such a small exchange to make when the prize that I gain is him wrapped around me like this.
Nikolai is one of the strongest, most physically dangerous and lethal people that I’ve ever met. Yet, he had claimed that Alek was even more brutal than him.
One thing I know to be true is that in Alek’s arms, I’ve never felt safer. He holds me delicately, like if he touches too hard I might break. Like I’m something precious and delicate that he can’t even believe that he is holding in the first place. It’s strange how natural it feels. Even in my dreams, I am carried back to memories of the first, second, and third time he claimed me in that bed.
The first times of many, I hope.
It’s well into the morning when I finally wake up. The sun is high in the sky and bright lights filter in through the sheer lavender curtains, filling the room that has been given to us with a bright warm light. Alek barely even stirs as I turn to look at him. It’s so tempting to kiss him - it’s almost painful to keep from doing so. Maybe in time he will learn to be more comfortable with my touching him, but I can wait. I can’t even imagine the amount of pain that he’s been through in his life.
I slowly slide out of his grasp and unloop the gauze from my hands before sliding from the bed entirely. The room is warm as the air kisses my naked body. I smirk at the carafe of water on the nightstand with the bottle of painkillers. There’s a delightful soreness between my legs that I don’t want to fade any time soon. I stretch, easing some of the knots from my back, popping audibly as I move toward the bathroom - relishing the fact that there is actually a bathroom for me to use and the fact that I have the freedom to walk where I want, when I want.
I bet if I go downstairs and try the front door that it will be unlocked for me too.
I will never be a prisoner ever again.
I don’t even know if I’m ever going to be okay with locked doors, not for a very long time at least. The bathroom is stocked with everything that either one of us could need. I brush my hair and teeth quickly before debating a shower, but I don’t want to wash him off me. Not yet. I glance at my reflection, the bruises that Nikolai left and then the comparison to the love bites that Alek left on my neck as well. I like that Alek’s are darker. They replace everything, just like I asked.
I let my hands roam over my skin, retracing the places that I can still feel the ghost of Alek’s hands on before I wrap them around myself. I don’t know what the day has in store for us, but so long as we face it together, that’s all that matters.
I leave my hair in loose auburn waves and rub a bit more of the cream that Daniel’s doctor left for me on the raw spots of skin around my ankles before re-wrapping them. I move silently to the dresser in the room for us, pleasantly pleased at how domestic everything feels. I needed this small sense of normalcy the room provides more than I even knew. The fact that the drawers contain clothes in our sizes. I pull out underthings and a black loose t-shirt made of the softest material I’ve ever felt. I pair them with leggings and large comfortable socks that won’t restrict my bandages or chafe the injured skin. I start pulling things on before I notice that Alek is sitting up in the bed, watching me.
“It certainly would be a shame if somebody ripped those right back off of you, wouldn’t it?” Alek asks, his voice still rough with sleep.
Just thinking about it sends ripples of excited anticipation down my spine.
“I think our hosts have far too much planned for us to have that sort of free time this morning.” Alek just grins, watching as I adjust the fit of my clothes. I pull out boxer briefs, another black t-shirt in his size, and black sweatpants for him as well. Loose and comfortable for all the bandages. I wonder for a moment if it will be considered crossing the line to help him change or check on the stitches. I know for sure at least one of them ripped with our antics last night. Not that he let me do anything about it.
“I can see you worrying,” Alek remarks with a knowing smile. “I can handle it, don’t worry.”
I sit on the side of the bed and hold out the bundle of clothing for him, an offering. He closes his hand over mine as he accepts them.
“No regrets?” He asks, that same vulnerability that I saw yesterday shows itself once more.
I shake my head. “None at all.”
Alek leans forward and kisses my cheek. “I’ll just be a minute.”
“I left the ointment on the counter. I can help if you can’t reach something.”
“You just want to see me naked for longer,” Alek winks and walks somewhat awkwardly into the bathroom, holding the side of his ribs. He’s not wrong. Even though I can tell that he’s far thinner than his body normally is, he’s still got a damned impressive body.
I flop back onto the bed, sprawling out on the plush sheets, savoring the lingering scent of him on the pillows. I don’t know if I fall right back asleep or just drift into daydreams but the next thing I know, Alek is resurfacing from the bathroom with a cloud of steam in his wake. Clean shaven and his hair shorn close to his scalp just like he said he would do, he looks like a whole other person in the best possible ways, not that I hadn’t loved the feeling of that thick, full beard between my thighs. He looks leaner, dangerous. I can see the rest of the tattoos on his neck without the hair obscuring them.
What I wouldn’t give to trace them all with my tongue.
Someday.
“Keep looking at me like that, princess, and we aren’t going to leave this room.”
“I like the hair.” I say, my voice is far off and appreciative.
“I like you.” Alek drops his wet towel on the floor and leans over me, kissing me sweetly before taking my hand in his.
My heart flutters in my chest as I allow him to lead me out of the room. The house is bright and airy, no closed off dark spaces that Nikolai always seemed to gravitate too. Not my personal style but I can’t express how happy I am to feel like the walls aren’t closing in on me anymore. I keep as close to Alek as I dare as we move toward the dining room, following the scent of fresh baked bread and our feeling of hunger.
I didn’t get to properly meet Helena last night. I only got glimpses of her as she had brought things in for the doctor. The slight swell to her stomach looked adorable on her. Her hand rests on the bump of her child as she watches us approach the table. Daniel, however, stands to greet us, extending a hand for Alek to shake. Which he does.
Helena merely stands, her eyes shining as she beholds her brother on his feet once more. Alek leaves my side to wrap her up into a hug that must be healing to them both. I don’t even want to ask how long it’s been since they last saw each other. Alek will tell me when he’s ready. There’s still so much that we haven’t even started to cover and I know that sooner or later, we’re going to have to.
But for now, lunch.
He kisses Helena on the cheek and whispers something in her ear before pulling away and squeezing her shoulders affectionately. Then he pulls my chair out for me to sit, and takes the one beside me. He sits sideways in the chair, one thigh angled behind me and the other toward my knees as he rests a possessive arm around the back of my chair. It doesn’t feel smothering, but protective. It feels like if anything tries to come for me, he will swoop me up into his arms and keep me safe.
I kind of like it.
“I hope that the two of you slept well?” Daniel asks politely.
“I don’t think they did much sleeping.” Helena smiles kindly.
I return the smile with a sheepish one of my own. It’s strange to know that she was once engaged to my husband. Should I even still call him that? If I’ve left him and returned the ring, are we still technically married? Does the paperwork even matter? My husband, or whatever he is to me now, tried to kill her and here she is offering me hospitality and pushing warm scones in my direction. I take the plate happily. “I can’t tell you how grateful I am for what you did.” I say to Daniel.
He shrugs a shoulder. “It’s good politics.”
“He’s being modest.” Helena says and shakes her head.
“Speaking of,” Alek interjects around a mouth full of food that he swallows too hastily, “it goes without saying that I want to help the efforts in any way that I can. It’s the least that I can do.”
Daniel nods. “Happy to hear it. It will take a few days for you to get back to fight-ready. In the meantime, the best thing that you can do is eat and recover to the best of your ability.”
“Henry will be happy to see you both progressing. You should have heard him this morning, prattling on and on about guests and how he never gets to meet new people outside of school,” Helena grins.
Alek freezes. He must have forgotten. I decide the risk is worth it, and place my hand on top of his own. He turns his eyes to me, panic reflected there, then squeezes my hand right back. A touch too tightly but I don’t wince.
“He’ll be home later.” Helena continues. “But I understand if you need some more time to get ready before you me-”
“No. I’m ready,” Alek interjects.
I don’t think that he is, but that’s not something that more time is going to make easier. Better to do it and get it over with. I can see it written on his face.
Daniel, thankfully, changes the subject. “Now that we have made a personal attack against Volkovich, you know that he will stop at nothing to retaliate. I have already moved my men into position and secreted away all my shipments to where he cannot get to them. Everything that could be moved has been, but we need to establish our next move. He’s going to come for you, Anya, even more fiercely than he’s going to keep coming for Helena. He is going to try to wipe us off the map.”
“I can help,” Alek says, stuffing his face. It occurs to me that this is the first hot meal that he’s eaten, except for the soup, in at least a month. I’m surprised he can speak at all. “He let things slip during our time together, small comments that could be made into weaknesses if used right. I can write them all down for you when we’re done here.”
“That would be good, we should do that.”
Alek nods and moves from one plate of food to another. I don’t even have the heart to tell him to slow down. If he gets sick, then so be it.
We become so absorbed in the conversation that none of us even hears the front door open until Henry’s voice comes echoing off the walls.
“Mom!!! I’m hoooommmeee!”