Chapter 21 - Miles
Kelsey is doing amazing things. I spoke to Mira about her training and how she has surpassed everything Mira can teach her. My sister is in awe of Kelsey’s abilities and how quickly she harnessed them.
“That girl is powerful,” Mira remarks, standing up from the desk and picking up a vial of something unrecognizable.
I lean against the door frame of her lab with my hands shoved into my pockets. “And you think she’s ready? She can control the magic?”
“Theory and practice are two different things, Miles. What I will say is that she was incredible during our training together. Kelsey is the one person I would trust to handle that kind of power. She’s the perfect person because she won’t stop learning even after I’ve told her I can’t teach her anymore.
Everything she learns now is going to be through self-exploration and practice. ”
I nod, understanding. “What can I do to help her?” I ask.
“Support. She needs the thing she’s never had. A solid, safe security net. People she can rely on without question,” Mira says, slipping the glass vial into another tube and putting both into a machine that I think is going to spin it.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“I’m playing around with a few new ideas for weapons and defense using her magic.”
“Let me know how it goes. The elders are already very impressed with what you’ve done so far.”
“This one isn’t for the elders. This one is for Kels. Something special just for her.”
I smile, “That’s sweet.”
***
After catching up with Mira, I head across to security HQ to visit Kels.
It’s weird, and I don’t know if it’s my imagination or not, but I get this feeling that she’s distancing herself from me. I’ve seen her with her friends, and she’s so happy lately, but with me, she shuts down. I don’t know. Maybe I’m asking too much. I should just be happy for her, and I am.
I really am happy for her.
But I’m terrified of losing her.
Outside the headquarters, a group of girls is laughing and joking.
I smile when I realize Kelsey is in the center of it, surrounded by her friends, new and old. She has been expanding her circle a lot lately. The dynamics of her interaction with other pack members have changed. She is more confident, and I think it’s helped her so much.
Of course, there are a lot of people who want to be friends with her because she is super cool, being able to do magic and all. But she’s smart enough to see through the fake ones.
Kelsey laughs loudly and wears that beautiful, genuine smile. The one that makes her cheeks dimple and her eyes sparkle.
Fuck. She is absolutely breathtaking. My heart can barely handle just how beautiful she is.
It almost causes pain to be this drawn to someone.
I pause to watch her from a distance with my hand unconsciously pressed against my heart and a warm smile on my face.
I have no right to be worried about her pulling away from me when she is this happy. Her life is going well. Things are good for her right now. I can’t make this about me.
After a few moments watching her, I walk towards the group.
“Hello, gorgeous,” I say, causing several of the girls to turn around and look at me with a hopeful expression. They giggle and move away when they see it’s me and that I’m speaking to my wife.
The moment Kelsey’s eyes fall onto me, her smile changes.
The dimples fade, and her face is tight.
“I was hoping to steal you for lunch?” I ask, pulling her into a hug.
Around us, her friends say goodbye and move on with their work.
Kelsey pulls away from me. Polite, but closed off. “I have to get to work,” She explains.
“I checked the roster, you aren’t on duty until this afternoon? “ I ask, confused.
“Oh, I know, um, but I wanted to get some other things done before my shift starts,” she quickly explains.
I clench my jaw and let out a breath of frustration as I try to control myself. It’s ok. Everything is ok.
“What about dinner? I’ll cook whatever you want tonight,” I smile.
“Sure, um, maybe burgers?”
“Just what I wanted, too. I’ll make a nice thick cheese sauce and…”
“Sorry, Miles, I’ve got to run. I’ll see you later, ok? Around eight.”
“Sure, of course, have a nice day,” I say as she hurries away from me.
I feel like someone has just stabbed me in the heart. Rejection. That’s what it is.
Why is she acting like this towards me? I wish I understood.
Kelsey is back to smiling when one of her friends runs to walk with her into the building.
From here, she looks like the happiest girl in the world. The moment she’s with me, it changes.
A loud huff bursts from me, and I press my fingers into my eyes.
You are being selfish. You need to stop acting like this.
She has a life outside of whatever is going on between the two of you.
She has friends. She’s happy. She’s doing well at work and with her magic.
You can’t lock her away and keep her all to yourself.
“Fuck,” I grumble quietly, turning away from the building and heading to my own work.
At eight, I’m at home, standing in front of a candlelit dinner I set up on our little dining room table.
But I’m staring at my phone and reading a message from Kelsey apologizing because she has to work later than she thought.
In her message, she says I shouldn’t wait up and should eat dinner without her.
She is apparently doing admin in the office.
Updating route plans and scouting reports.
My stomach knots painfully.
Another rejection. Another way she’s avoiding me and getting out of spending time with me.
I hate this.
My hurt starts changing. It starts biting at me and turning to anger. Anger because I’m confused and I’m trying so damn hard just to spend a little time with her, and I really don’t think I’m being unreasonable…
I toss my phone hard against the sofa, muttering under my breath.
One by one, I blow the candles out as the anger grows inside me.
Pull yourself together, Miles. For fuck’s sake you are acting like a child throwing a tantrum because she has to work late.
I fucking miss her though!
What is the right thing to do?
An idea sparks in my mind.
I’ll pack the burgers up and take them to her. She can have a quick dinner with me and then carry on with whatever she’s doing.
If I want to see her, then I'll go to her. She might even appreciate the simple gesture.
It doesn’t take me long to pack a burger picnic to take to her work.
In no time at all, I’m parking outside HQ with a smile on my face, happy that I came up with this idea.
“Hello!” I greet the late-night guard sitting at the receptionist’s desk.
“Hi, sir!” He says, standing up quickly.
“Relax. I’m not here for work,” I say, winking at him. He breathes a sigh of relief and sits down again.
Upstairs, I turn down the corridor towards the shared offices that the security team uses when they’re filing their reports.
It’s filled with rows and rows of community desks. They all hate admin, and no one wants an actual desk. Every single one of them would rather be out there in the forest than sitting at a desk.
The place is relatively quiet, being so late after working hours.
It’s easy to spot the small group of people in the far corner.
Soft laughter spills through the air. Her laughter.
I walk more slowly, listening to the conversation.
She’s speaking to a guy I went to school with. He was a good friend of Jace and just happened to be one of the guys who bullied both Kelsey and Mira.
She should hate the guy, but instead, she is sitting on her desk, swinging her legs and laughing with him over something.
All of my patience fades. All of my frustration and hurts surge to the forefront of my thoughts, like an avalanche unfolding before my eyes.
Anger spikes through me, and I stride towards them with purpose.
I’m done with this shit. I’m done guessing and second-guessing. This is bullshit!
I get close to them before either of them sees me.
“What the fuck is going on?” I snarl.
Kelsey jumps in fright, then laughs lightheartedly and puts her hand over her heart.
“Miles, you gave me such a fright,” she smiles.
Next to her, the guy holds out his hand to shake mine. “Sir, it’s good to see you. I was just talking to Kelsey about how proud everyone is of her. You must be too…”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I saw you flirting with my wife. I see how you think you can make her laugh and smile and wiggle your way closer to her!”
“Miles, stop!” Kelsey blurts out, looking embarrassed.
She slides off the desk and stands up, glaring at me.
“Miles, that isn’t what’s going on at all…” the guy stammers, looking horrified. “Kelsey and I work together.”
“I know exactly who the fuck you are,” I snarl darkly.
The guy takes a step back and glances nervously at Kelsey.
“It’s ok, Blake. You should go. I’m sorry about this,” she mutters, looking even more embarrassed.
He hurries away from us, and I spin to face her.
“Did I embarrass you? Are you serious? You keep making excuses not to spend time with your husband, but then I find you here flirting with another guy. Guess you weren’t doing admin after all!”
“Miles, stop this at once. What has gotten into you?” She snaps.
“No, Kelsey. How about you tell me what has gotten into you? Are you too good for me now?”
“What?” She blurts out, her brows knotting in confusion.
“You get a little magic and a little power, and it all goes to your head! You forget about the person who was there for you before you had the magic, and now you’re flirting with the cool kids. The people who bullied you in the past! It’s disgusting.
"I’m looking at you now, and you’ve become just as fake as the rest of them.
You're going around here doing things just to be liked by people. It’s a social media contest!
I actually thought you were a genuine person, but now I see the truth!
” I snarl as anger pours out of me, a rush of words that I can barely keep up with.
Once I’ve said it all, I stare down at her.
Her face has gone pale and calm. Her eyes are glimmering as though she might cry.
My heart clenches, and I run through what I actually said.
Kelsey clenches her jaw, and I wait. I wait for the outburst. I wait for her to lash out and tell me I’m an asshole.
But she doesn’t. A tear rolls down her cheek, and my heart breaks. Fuck. What have I done?
She turns away and marches off without saying a single word, and I stand there like a fucking idiot holding a picnic dinner and silently cursing myself.
Even if she wasn’t avoiding me before…she is going to hate me now.
I might never win her back after that.
I fucking knew I didn’t deserve her.