Chapter 17 - Elena
The two days that followed were surreal. Elena kept expecting the tranquility of their new routine to be shattered by enemies barging through the door, but they remained at bay. On the second day, Ryder was well enough to scout the immediate area, although she insisted on accompanying him this time. After some grumbling, he relented, and they set out cautiously.
He showed her how to cover tracks and filled an extra spray bottle with a newly discovered concoction designed to throw off shifters' sense of smell for her, then demonstrated how to use it effectively. According to him, there was no trace of rogues in the immediate vicinity, which helped calm them both. For the time being, things appeared to remain peaceful. They were still lurking somewhere out of range, very likely searching for him, but as long as they remained concealed and kept their guard up, there was a chance they would make it through unscathed until he was well enough to walk all the way down to the barn.
Their trips into the woods were short, given his physical condition. The rest of the time, they were safely sheltered together inside the cabin's walls. Ryder tinkered with electrical equipment in the secretive room that Elena now understood to be an office of some kind. There, he tried to get the radio back up and running to contact HQ while she cleaned and cooked. He spent all day obsessively tinkering with it, trying all sorts of complicated technical solutions Elena didn’t understand to get it working again. From what she gathered, he thought he’d be able to fix it, but it was going to take time, and since he was still healing from his vicious injuries, he could only work for so long without wearing himself out.
There was a marked shift in their dynamic since that evening, the air between them charged with a potent electricity that sparked whenever they looked at each other. Besides the kiss, though, he refused to cross that boundary again. As much as his resistance pained her, and as often as he pulled back from her touch, she was also comforted by how it was different from before.
At least now, he was more honest with her, explaining his reasons instead of shutting down or dodging them entirely. He feared the danger, naturally, but also that he wouldn't be able to keep a clear head or protect them effectively if they gave in to their feelings. Underlying everything was also the issue with her brother. Tolliver would be furious with him, and now that she'd calmed down a little from all the emotions and stress, Elena had to admit it wasn't something she looked forward to facing either. Her brother could be infuriatingly overprotective. She wasn't sure what he would do if he found out what had been going on.
For now, they had reached a kind of tentative truce, existing in a strange limbo. They joked and chatted and ate meals together, and they slept in the same bed because Ryder needed to be as comfortable as possible to heal effectively, but they kept a respectful distance, not indulging the constant magnetic pull between them. She didn't like it, but she had to concede that this was hardly the time to address such complicated issues. The most important thing was remaining safe. Everything else would have to be dealt with later.
Curled up in bed late that night, the sound of him messing around with the gear in the next room became something like a soothing lullaby. She drifted in and out of sleep for hours, unable to get her mind to turn itself off. She tossed and turned restlessly, too aware of the large empty space beside her. Somewhere near dawn, she was finally able to catch hold of sleep, wrapping its comforting blanket around her weary limbs. However, instead of relaxing, her body tensed, and she felt herself drawn into the haze of her dreamscape.
***
Sunlight streamed through the windows in thick golden rays. Soft birdsong filled the air, accompanied by the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. The scent of fresh-blooming flowers mingled with the warm sweetness of honey. Lavender-painted walls radiated with a sense of calm and tranquility, with white wooden furniture and delicately embroidered lace curtains. In the corner, a reading nook contained shelves lined with books of all sizes and colors, piled haphazardly but with love.
The tinkle of gentle, soothing music floated through the air, interrupted only by the cooing sounds of a contented infant from a rocking crib placed near the window. A tiny hand grasped a soft wolf plushie, brown, fuzzy, and floppy, almost as big as the child. A tiny giggle escaped from a small, puffy-cheeked face framed with fluffy red curls. Hazel eyes peered curiously up at a whirring mobile with painted glittering moons and stars. Everything seemed to glow, wrapped in a halo of light, serene and perfect. There was no danger here. Only joy.
Only love.
***
When Elena woke from this dream, it was not with shock and dread but with a sense of peaceful clarity, like the revelation of something known and welcomed. She shifted on the bed and carefully slipped out from under the sheets without waking the slumbering man beside her. On bare feet, she tip-toed into the bathroom and leaned against the counter. She placed a hand on her belly, taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart as she recalled the image of the child she had dreamed of. Closing her eyes, she focused on her body, instinctively drawing up a thin trickle of magic from within. Even the most disastrous witch could sense their own life force, and right now, that was precisely what she was seeking out.
Almost immediately, the presence of another spark lit up within her, a minuscule speck of life glowing with the unmistakable aura of the infant she had seen. She let out a strangled gasp, trembling in awe and shock, and doubled over in an attempt to steady herself. The tranquil haze of her dream began to recede in favor of fear and doubt as reality set in. She was pregnant. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by feral wolves who wanted Ryder dead and carrying his child.
Her hands curled into tight fists against the marble vanity, clenching until her knuckles were white and her palms ached. She glanced back at the door behind her, toward the sleeping shifter in the bedroom, and swallowed hard. A part of her wanted to jump with joy and be elated about what this meant. This could all work out, and they could be together, have this child, and raise it together. She had seen it. That wasn’t a guarantee, but at least it meant there was a chance.
Another more rational voice was painfully aware of how Ryder was likely to react to this news. So far, his reaction to anything unexpected involving her had resulted in him shutting down and panicking. There was no way he would respond to learning he was about to become a father with anything other than sheer terror.
What was she going to do? Panic rose in her chest, threatening to overwhelm her. Tears stung her eyes. This was all too much. Too fast. Her hands shook violently, gripping the edge of the sink for dear life. Bile rose in her throat, and she forced it down, keeping her breathing shallow and measured to avoid hyperventilating. She couldn't deal with this. Right now, she felt like she might crumble into a million pieces. Her mind flooded with images of the worst-case scenario, of those horrible, monstrous, feral wolves descending upon them and killing them both, snuffing out her baby's life before it had a chance to live.
That primal fear overruled all logic. In an instant, she was scrambling for the bedroom, nearly crashing into a groggy, bewildered Ryder as he rubbed his eyes and stumbled from the bed. She threw her arms around him, clutching onto him desperately, and buried her face in the crook of his neck for comfort. He blinked down at her and warily placed a hand on the small of her back.
“What's wrong? Did something happen?” He peered around frantically, alert and ready to act. When he noticed nothing out of place, his shoulders sagged with relief, but the questioning look remained on his face. “Are you all right?”
“I'm pregnant,” she blurted out before she could stop herself, the dam already breaking under the pressure of everything overwhelming her. The moment she said it, she burst into tears and began babbling incoherently through choked sobs and gasping breaths, explaining her vision as best as she could amid the hysteria. With each word she uttered, she held him tighter and trembled harder.
Ryder visibly stiffened, his arm slipping rigidly away from her waist as he grew impossibly still. Silence fell. For a moment, Elena wondered whether he had even heard through her wailing, but then she lifted her head from his shoulder and saw his expression. His jaw was clenched tightly shut, and there was a hollow, distant look in his eyes, like a lost man staring into the void.
Over the course of the next few seconds, a million different emotions flashed across his face. She watched helplessly as confusion, denial, worry, frustration, anger, fear, and grief passed across his handsome features. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. He opened his mouth to speak and closed it again several times before finally managing to croak out, “What?”
Elena swallowed back her tears and repeated quietly, “I'm pregnant. Ryder, don't shut down on me right now. I need you to talk to me. Say something. Anything. Please.”
She reached up and took hold of his wrist, pressing his palm against her belly, staring at him with imploring eyes. Her vision blurred, but she blinked back her tears furiously, determined not to lose her composure and fall apart completely once more. She had come here seeking comfort from him, but it seemed unlikely to be forthcoming. Judging by the conflict raging behind his eyes, he was having an existential crisis and was in no position to offer emotional support.
Oh, she should have known better than to tell him. This was exactly what she had anticipated earlier, but now that the moment was here, it cut deeper than expected. The silence only served to strengthen her own fears. She stood before him with her heart beating rapidly against her rib cage, aching fiercely with every beat, silently begging him to snap out of it. After what felt like an eternity, he finally took a deep, shuddering breath, and she braced herself for whatever harsh words might come.
“Okay,” he breathed out slowly. His fingers flexed slightly against her abdomen. “You're sure?” She nodded in confirmation. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment, and when he looked back down, his face was a mask of grim determination. “Right. We'll figure this out. We're officially out of time. I need to get in touch with HQ to figure out a plan. The radio still isn’t fully operational, but I think I might have finally gotten close last night. I should be able to get it back up and running today, but you're going to have to let me concentrate. Can you do that?”
She blinked up at him, stunned by the swift change in demeanor. His words didn't ease the fear gnawing at her gut, but the certainty in his tone bolstered her confidence. He sounded like he had a plan and knew what to do. Right now, she was too shocked to question what that might be. Her brain struggled to keep up with all these sudden revelations, and all she knew was that they had to do something. The fact that he seemed to have some idea of what 'something' might entail, unlike her, was enough to keep the worst of the panic at bay. She managed a weak smile and nodded slowly.
“Okay,” she agreed meekly. “Yeah, okay.”
He shot her a tight smile, ruffled her hair, and strode purposefully out of the bedroom and into his office. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving her alone. Her legs carried her automatically back to the bed. She sank down on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. Her hands shook, and her mind was still reeling. Pregnant. She was pregnant.
This wasn't just about her anymore. Whatever happened, she couldn't afford to screw up, not when that life depended on her. That was terrifying, but at the same time, there was a tiny thrill of wonder creeping through the terror. Her fingers brushed across her belly lightly, imagining the tiny heartbeat flickering within. A baby. Her baby. Despite everything, a soft smile spread across her lips, and for a brief moment, she let herself fall back into that beautiful dream. Maybe they could make it through this after all. Maybe there was hope.