Chapter 19 - Elena
The door closed behind her with a sharp click. The finality of it rang out in Elena's mind like the distant echo of a gunshot, sealing Ryder's words into her memory forever. Every word he'd spoken cut at her like knives. At that moment, she felt sharp edges twisting deep inside her and shredding her insides like paper. All emotion bled out of her and left her hollow and empty, only dimly aware of the damp sensation of tears sliding down her face. Those harsh, careless words destroyed any hope or dream she had clung to. Nothing mattered anymore except the pain of knowing that she and their unborn child would never mean anything to him.
When a loud, rhythmic knock sounded at the cabin door a short while later, she was utterly numb. She barely managed to make out the voices on the other side of the room through the roaring in her ears and the throbbing ache in her heart. The world around her was a blur even as her older brother hugged her tightly and ushered her out of the cottage. In the doorway, she turned her head to glance back at Ryder, hoping to see some hint of regret or pain. All she found was stony-faced indifference. She shuddered and let herself be led away through the woods.
The car, another black SUV, stood in a clearing not far from the cabin. Still dazed, she climbed inside and watched Tolliver coat the car and the surrounding area in the scent-masking alchemy once again. Moments later, they were racing down the rough track back toward civilization. Instead of turning left on the highway to go south toward Bellefleur, they turned right, heading further north. Elena was vaguely aware that Tolliver was talking to her, but she had difficulty understanding what was being said. Her only connection to her own body was the point where her hand touched her belly, and she sensed the life force growing inside of her. She kept herself wrapped around it tightly, as though it might float away without her anchoring it to the earth.
At some point, they came to a stop. Elena had no idea for how long she'd zoned out, but now she emerged from her dissociative state to discover they'd reached an abandoned, remote motel about an hour outside of town. Tolliver sat beside her with one hand resting on her shoulder and an expression of concern written all over his face. He tilted his head, studying her curiously. The warmth of his palm radiated through her body and helped center her a little.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. “You've been really quiet the whole ride.”
She shook her head weakly and forced herself to give him a weak smile. “Sorry, just tired. It's been a lot,” she murmured, taking deep breaths to ground herself.
He smiled back reassuringly, although it didn't quite reach his eyes. They got out of the car and trudged across the gravel parking lot. Tolliver unlocked a rusty gate that screeched open to allow them access to the vacant grounds, then ushered her into a nearby room. It wasn't particularly comfortable, with worn carpets, faded bedspreads, and peeling wallpaper, but it was serviceable. At least it wasn't crawling with mice or bugs. Elena sank down heavily onto the bed, curling into the stiff pillow and blanket as if they were a cocoon that could shield her from the pain of the outside world, while her brother headed back outside to hide the car and keep watch for incoming threats.
Alone in the darkness, her mind replayed the events of the morning endlessly. For the first time since then, the fog of shock was beginning to dissipate. The walls of denial crumbled away as reality set in: danger lurked behind every tree, she was pregnant with Ryder's baby, and she was utterly alone with that knowledge. He wanted nothing to do with her, and the hurt from that rejection ripped its claws deep into her. It was all too much for her to process on her own. The enormity of it crashed down upon her like a tidal wave.
By the time her brother returned to the room, she was a mess. She was curled up on top of the covers with one hand clutching her belly and the other holding a crumpled tissue to her tear-stained cheeks, rocking slightly. He rushed to her side, wrapping his warm, strong arms around her and pressing his chin to her temple. The weight of his embrace was familiar and comforting, and it brought fresh tears to her eyes. All their lives, he had looked out for her like this. When they were young, it had often felt like he was her protector against the rest of the world. Sometimes, his meddling drove her crazy, but right now, she wanted nothing more than to fall apart in his arms and let him fix all her problems.
“It's going to be all right, Ellie,” he soothed, rubbing her arm gently. “I know this has all been terrifying, but we'll get through this. I promise. Everything is going to be fine.” His voice trembled slightly, betraying his anxiety despite the bravado he tried to project. “You're with me now. No one's getting anywhere near you, okay? The pack is handling the rogues. We've been preparing all week. A few more days, and we'll be ready for them.” He pulled back to look down at her, smoothing her hair away from her face. “Look at me. Everything's going to be okay.”
His words were sweet and gentle, but they echoed strangely in her ears. Her heart thudded painfully against her ribs, guilt flooding through her. Locked away in the lodge with only Ryder around, it had been easy to forget about the rest of the world and pretend that whatever happened between them could simply stay their little fairytale. In the harsh light of day, surrounded by the real danger of the situation and face-to-face with her brother, that fantasy vanished instantly. She was having a baby. Sooner or later, Tolliver was going to find out, and right now, she desperately wanted him to comfort her and give her advice. And maybe some small, petty part of her wanted him to feel as betrayed as she did by what Ryder had said and done.
Before she could think about it too much, the words came spilling out. She started from the beginning and told him everything, from the embarrassing crush she'd had on Ryder when she was younger to their flirtation at the bar and the ensuing one-night stand that left her with more questions than answers to the confusing hot-and-cold game that Ryder had played ever since he'd brought her to the lodge. As she spoke through the occasional sob and sniffle, Tolliver's expression grew increasingly furious. His muscles went rigid, and his jaw clenched tight like a coiled spring waiting to explode.
“I'm going to flay him alive,” he growled through gritted teeth when she got to the part where she and Ryder had slept together a second time, his hands balling into fists in his lap. “How dare he? My so-called best friend creeping into my sister's bed behind my back?” he spat, seething. “I trusted him to protect you, not take advantage of you!” His blue eyes seemed to glow in the dim light. Sharp fangs elongated behind his snarling lips. “When this is all over, I swear—”
He broke off suddenly as she burst into fresh tears. Startled by her reaction, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, stroking her hair gently until the worst of the shaking subsided.
“Tolliver, I'm pregnant,” she finally whimpered into his chest, not daring to look up to see his expression. “He called me his mate and said—said all this stuff about having feelings for me, but it was too dangerous and all of that, but I thought he was just being afraid because of the rogues, and then I fell asleep and had a vision, and... I thought... I thought...” Her words came out through choked sobs as she buried herself deeper into him. He squeezed her tighter in response, still silent and frozen in place.
“What?” her brother hissed after several agonizing moments passed, and Elena still hadn't found the courage to lift her head and meet his eyes. He pulled back and held her firmly by the upper arms, staring at her in abject horror. “Are you serious?” he demanded. “Please tell me you're joking. You're pregnant? With his child? How the hell—”
He cut himself off abruptly, dropping his arms to run his hands furiously through his hair, and let out a string of expletives under his breath. Then, he got up to pace wildly around the small space of the room, unable to sit still. As he did, he ranted at no one, growling incoherently, but Elena understood enough of it. This was not going to end well for Ryder.
That thought caused a vivid image to force its way into her mind once more, even through all her heartbreak and anger. The vision of Ryder lying broken on the ground, covered in his own blood, gasping for breath, while that hulking beast of a shifter loomed over him with feral rage contorting his features. Despite everything that had happened today, that fate sickened her to her core. The image burned itself onto the backs of her eyelids, making her shudder and gasp aloud. She squeezed her eyes shut, clutching at the bedspread and blankets and struggled to breathe deeply. Amid her emotional turmoil, she'd let the true gravity of the situation around them slip away, and it hit her like an anvil on the head now.
“Tolliver,” she interrupted finally, swallowing hard against the lump of panic rising in her throat and looking up to meet his furious blue eyes. He didn't respond immediately, too busy glaring holes into the wall of the room and muttering another litany of threats toward his best friend. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged insistently, then added, a little louder, “Tolliver! Stop. This isn't helping. Asher Hayes is out there somewhere, and—”
“Asher?” He whirled to face her, the color draining from his face. He'd stopped moving in a single instant, but she could see every muscle in his body freeze and clench up tight. “This is Asher's work? Damn it. Zach suspected that Asher was involved, but I hoped that wasn’t true. Are you completely sure?”
Suddenly, he was beside her again, grabbing her shoulders and searching her face for clues. The fury had vanished into thin air, replaced by fear and determination. Elena nodded weakly.
“I saw him in a vision,” she whispered, looking at her lap. The mental image was still too intense to bear for long. “That's what's got Ryder all shaken up. Asher is coming after him. He thinks—”
“He thinks Asher is going to hurt you,” Tolliver interrupted curtly, raking his hand through his light brown hair.
Elena blinked at him in surprise. “Ryder doesn't care about me,” she sniffled bitterly, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. “He made that very clear to me today. He said he wants nothing to do with me or the baby. So, whatever he's been dealing with lately isn't about me at all.”
Tolliver rolled his eyes and scoffed dismissively, a sharp sound in the back of his throat. “Of course, that damned fool would think he has to play the martyr to keep you safe,” he muttered irritably. “He thinks you're his mate. I don't like it, but... Whatever. We'll deal with that later. Asher blames Ryder for getting Iris killed, and now he wants to make sure Ryder suffers the same way. This asshole thinks he's protecting you by pushing you away.” Tolliver groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb. “Of course. That's why he's so stubborn about staying out there by himself.”
The words sent a shiver down her spine. Her brows knit together as she tried to process what her brother had said. Could that really be true? That it wasn't that Ryder didn't want her, but he was trying to make himself the bait to draw away the danger? Now that it had been put out there, it sounded exactly like the kind of impossibly noble stunt she could see him pulling. She loved and hated how badly she wanted it to be true, how she craved the possibility that he wasn't as apathetic as he'd acted.
A small flutter of hope rippled through her, but it was quickly extinguished by the knowledge that if Tolliver was right about the rest of it, Ryder might be about to do something monumentally stupid. The vision flashed in her mind's eye once more. The dark shadow loomed over a bleeding, broken Ryder as the man she loved writhed on the forest floor, dying. Alone, surrounded by frenzied rogues with no one around to help him. Dread washed over her, cold and heavy.
“We have to get to him,” she said hurriedly, scrambling off the bed. “They’re somewhere in the forest—they attacked him there, at least. He's going to go looking for them. He thinks that he's the only reason they're here. He's going to try to face them on his own. I saw it in my vision. He's going to die!”
“They attacked him?” Tolliver asked in alarm, his face pale. Elena nodded furiously. Clearly, Ryder hadn’t told them that. Damn it. She should have known he was planning something dangerous. “I'll call Zach. We'll get a team out to the cabin. If you're right, we don't have time to wait for final preparations,” Tolliver said tersely, grabbing his phone from his pocket and swiping through his contact list rapidly.
“I'm coming with you,” Elena insisted, brushing her tears off her cheeks resolutely. The terror that had been coiled tightly around her lungs eased its grip, replaced by a fierce need to protect what mattered. Right now, Ryder needed her, and nothing was going to keep her from getting to him.
“No, you're not,” Tolliver answered immediately, cutting her off sharply. “You're staying here, out of harm's way, until we handle those bastards.”
“What, you're going to leave me here alone?” she shot back. “You said it yourself. They're after me, too. Do you really think I'll be safer here by myself if they find me while you're all off fighting?” She crossed her arms, giving him a pointed glare and lifting one eyebrow questioningly. Her brother looked conflicted, chewing on the inside of his cheek worriedly. “And besides, I've seen the confrontation. I’m the one who’s been out there in the woods with him. None of you know what to look for. I can help you find him. Let me come with you.”
Her words were a lot more confident than she felt. In truth, she didn’t have much to go on, but she couldn’t let her brother know that. Whatever Ryder was going to face, she needed to be there with him. Tolliver exhaled loudly, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling as he considered her words. Finally, he shook his head, fixing her with his blue-eyed gaze.
“Okay. Yeah. You're right,” he conceded reluctantly. “Fine. You can come, but you stay behind us and out of the way of the action, understand? No matter what happens.” He jabbed one thick finger at her accusingly. She took a deep breath and nodded obediently. His shoulders relaxed slightly as he turned away from her to grab his jacket and pull it on over his shoulders, then snatched up the car keys from the small table next to the door. “All right. Let's get moving, then.”