Chapter 85
DIEM
Death was amazing.
Everything felt warm and cozy, like waking up in bed on a lazy morning or wrapping up in furs by the hearth after a long day out in the snow.
The robe I arrived in must have been made with silken clouds for how blissfully soft it felt against my skin.
My body had no wounds, my mind was free of its worries, and I’d never had such shiny, bouncy hair in my life—fitting, I supposed, since this wasn’t life at all.
I didn’t even mind that I was back on Coeur?le.
All the fear I’d felt at the thought of the island had been replaced by a serene calm.
The memories of the traumas I’d endured here were still there in my mind, but they no longer provoked the darkness they once had.
All of my bad memories were like that—not erased, but disarmed, like a knife that had gone so dull, it would never cut again.
This island couldn’t hurt me anymore. Nothing could hurt me. I was finally safe.
All around, new people were arriving in droves, each of them staring up at the Everflame and wearing the same excited smile.
An archway had opened at the base of its trunk, and though a curtain of Flames concealed whatever lay beyond, as each person walked through, I heard them shout the names of their loved ones in elated reunion.
I lifted the hem of my robe and ran toward it, grinning.
Surely my brother would be waiting. Laughter bubbled up as I imagined all the fun we would have, teasing each other for eternity.
My father, too—my hands itched to wrap him up in a hug and tell him how his memory had given me such strength in life.
Though a part of me wished my mother was with us, it didn’t make me sad.
It reminded me of the nights the three of us spent around the kitchen table, cooking and laughing as we waited for her to arrive after her shift at the healers’ center.
There was no need to miss her, because she was on her journey home.
I heard someone call my name from behind, and I turned to see nine figures standing in a line, their white hair and grey eyes so similar to mine. One of them stepped forward, a petite woman with a kind smile. “Diem,” she called out again.
“Lumnos?” I asked, walking toward her. I looked around at the other Kindred. “I thought you couldn’t pass on to the afterlife.”
“We couldn’t,” Umbros said, “until you freed us.”
“When you destroyed the heartstone, it broke the Forging Spell that trapped us between life and death,” Sophos explained. “Now, we can finally move on.”
“That’s wonderful,” I exclaimed, surprised at my genuine happiness. Though I hadn’t forgotten my grievances against them, resentment no longer held me captive. Judgment was the duty of the living. The only fate I wished on others now was peace to match my own.
I looked at the Everflame, then back at the Kindred with a curious frown. “Your afterlife is in the Undying Fire?”
Umbros gave a cryptic smirk. “Yes . . . and no.”
“We have our own gods,” Montios said, “but life and death connect us all in the end.”
“Even we don’t entirely understand it,” Lumnos admitted.
“But we will.” Sophos stared excitedly at the curtain of flames, angling his neck in an effort to peer through. “All knowledge will be open to us there. Every book ever written. The answers to every question ever asked.” He beamed. “I can’t wait.”
My smile grew. “My brother will be overjoyed.”
“His life was cut too short,” Arboros said. “We would have given you both more time, if it was within our power to do so.”
“It’s alright,” I said, shrugging. “We’ll have all the time we want together now.”
“I’m sorry for what was asked of Luther, too,” Lumnos said. “I hope it brings you peace to know that his sacrifice, and yours, saved many lives.”
My heart gave a strange, lopsided thump. An emotion began to dampen my contentment, though I couldn’t quite put a name to it. It wasn’t sadness or regret. It did bring me peace to know that we’d saved so many, and soon enough, eternity would be ours to share.
But the more I thought about Luther, the more I felt . . . incomplete.
Beside me, Ignios let out a choked cry and took off running toward the Everflame. I spun around to see her launch into the open arms of a tall, muscular man with long dark braids and copper skin.
“They’re here,” Montios whispered. She sucked in a breath as another man emerged from behind a cluster of roots with two other women at his side.
Tears sprang to her eyes. She ran toward them, Faunos and Fortos fast behind.
The three couples embraced in a flurry of kisses and smiles and teary I love yous.
I gasped. “Those are their mates.”
Lumnos nodded. Her smile lifted higher as Meros and Arboros cried out, spotting their beloveds, too. “They’ve been waiting for us for a very long time.”
Sophos frantically paced back and forth, scouring the Everflame’s roots. “Where is she? Why hasn’t she—what if—do you think—maybe she—”
Lumnos and Umbros exchanged an amused look. “Patience, brother,” Umbros said. “She probably lost track of time in a very good book.”
Sophos closed his eyes and let out an inappropriate-sounding moan, though I couldn’t be sure if it was the prospect of his mate or the book that aroused him.
Lumnos cleared her throat, and Sophos’s eyes shot back open, settling instantly on a petite, cream-pale woman whose mousy bob bounced as she waved one arm. Beside her sauntered a goddess-like vixen who pointed at Umbros, then slowly hooked her finger.
Sophos gave a long, contented sigh, his nervous energy flooding away. He spread his arms wide and ran past me. “Good luck, Daughter of the Forgotten,” he yelled over his shoulder.
Umbros slid his hands into his pockets, flashing his mate a provocative smile. She cocked her hip and winked, and he gave a deep, hearty laugh. “Good luck, indeed,” he said as he walked past me. “You’ll never be forgotten to me.”
Lumnos took my hand as we watched the last of her siblings reunite with their long-lost mates. “Shouldn’t yours be here?” I asked her.
“Soon. He won’t want an audience. He’s always been a private man.”
She fell quiet, and the other eight Kindred led their mates to the opening in the Everflame’s trunk. One by one, they crossed through the curtain of Fire and disappeared. Though I felt true gladness for them, the weight on my heart continued to grow.
I should be with my mate, too, I thought. I don’t belong here without him.
I tried to shake the feeling off as Lumnos’s hand tightened in mine.
Just as she’d guessed, once the last of her siblings passed over, a man came strolling around the Everflame’s side, the barest hint of a smile playing at his lips.
His ebony hair was long and sleek, his features sharp, his ice-blue eyes bright against rust-colored skin.
In my chest, something started to ache.
Lumnos kissed my cheek. “Goodbye, Diem. I’ve glimpsed the happiness that lies ahead for you. You deserve every moment that awaits.”
She walked toward the waiting man, who brightened like the sun as she approached.
The love between them was so radiant, they practically glowed when she pressed her body to his.
His hands brushed across her jaw, lips hovering over hers, chest rising as he breathed her in.
I blushed at the intimacy of it and turned my back to offer them a private reunion.
My fingers rose to my lips. How long until they reunited with Luther’s? How many centuries would pass before I felt his touch again?
Panic began to rise. I can’t do this, I thought. It’s wrong. All of this is wrong.
“I’ll be watching over you both,” Lumnos called out.
“Wait!” I yelled, running toward her, but she had already disappeared into the Flames. Everyone had—the new arrivals, the Kindred and their mates.
I was alone.
I stared up at the Everflame. Rivers of light pulsed along the cracks in its bark, leading up to soaring branches alight with twirling, crackling Flames. Embers fell from their ends like glowing snowflakes, flaring with light as they touched the ground, then disappearing into the soil.
The sight of it restored a small measure of my peace. “‘Be not afraid, as shadows fade, all pain and woe shall be unmade,’” I said, reciting a line from the Rite of Endings to reassure myself. “There’s no sadness in the Undying Fire. Only joy. Nothing to be scared of.”
The Flames rose higher. That’s right, they seemed to say. All will be healed in the Fire.
I smiled, feeling sheepish at my hesitation. Of course this was where I was meant to be.
I stretched my hand toward the opening and tried to decide what I would do first once I crossed over.
Maybe I’d go sailing with my father, or perhaps I’d try every chocolate ever made.
I could hike through snowy mountains without ever getting cold or sail through the clouds like I’d been born with wings.
The Fire licked at my outstretched fingers, and my anticipation grew. Maybe I’d go to faraway lands that I could never have visited in life. Meet people I’d never heard of, visit worlds entirely different than my own.
Heat enveloped my arm, drawing me closer.
I could do everything I’d ever dreamed of. Any adventure could be mine.
But Luther won’t be there to do them with me.
My arm jerked back.
I stopped. Frowned.
I reached again, leaning toward the Fire.
Wrong.
This is wrong.
I staggered back.
Three clicks of a tongue rattled off from my right, where a man leaned against the base of the Everflame. His head was bowed, his vibrant red hair hanging low and obscuring his face. His fingers wiggled back and forth as a single ember fluttered between them.
“Life for life,” he said in an amused, singsong tune. His voice was a soothing baritone, oddly familiar.
“Do I know you?” I asked.
“We’ve met before.”
I frowned. Surely I would have remembered if I’d ever come across anyone among the living with the same distinctive hair as my mother.
“What’s your name?” I asked.