Chapter 85 #2
“My name is forgotten to your kind.” He tipped his head toward the opening. “If you want to know it, you’ll have to go through there.”
I looked back at the Flames. So many answers lay on the other side of them, so much happiness and love, and yet every time I told my legs to carry me through, they stubbornly edged away.
But this was what I’d always wanted. Never again another war or heartbreak or death. People of all kinds, living in unity. Infinite joy, an eternity of discovery, all within my grasp.
Why couldn’t I make myself take it?
The man laughed. “You’re not broken, little flame.” He flattened his palm and the ember wobbled unsteadily above it. “You’re unbalanced.”
Unbalanced. That was exactly how I felt.
A little too heavy and a little too light.
Perfectly restored and fundamentally fractured.
So close, and yet so very, very far.
“Such interesting magic, these mating bonds,” the man said.
“In the After, there should only be contentment, but a heart without its mate is never at ease. It complicates the crossing over. Even I cannot take what has become one and split it back into two.” The ember floated away from his hand, hovering between us.
“Without your heartstone, that magic is unanchored from your world. I could rip it away and ensure that no heart is left unbalanced ever again. What do you think of that?”
I looked down at my mating mark, its once shimmering outline now dull and dark. Whoever this man was, he was right. I would never be content until Luther was back at my side.
In the land of the living, I knew Luther would feel the same. His years ahead would be full of joyful moments, Lily and Taran would ensure it, but without me to share them, his happiness would always be incomplete.
It was exactly what I’d always feared in life, giving so much of my heart away that I was never whole again on my own. What good was this magic if it brought such misery for us both?
But then I thought back on the moment I became his mate. I stood in this very spot and watched Sorae carry him away, dangling from Teller’s grip, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever see him again.
And still, I’d wanted it. Even believing we’d never get our happily ever after, thinking it would make me a stranded mate, knowing it might mean spending my eternity alone.
And if I had to wait here a thousand years before I felt true happiness again . . . even now, I wanted it still.
The man made a soft, knowing sound. “I asked your Kindred’s mates that question, too. Their hearts answered the same. Taking such powerful magic from the world is its own kind of imbalance, I suppose.”
“They were bound by the mating magic?” I asked. “I thought it didn’t work on mortals.”
“It’s true that many years have passed since it last happened.
The divide between your people was a burden few could overcome.
And those you call mortals . . . they stopped believing that magic could flow in their veins.
They stopped wanting it to. Seeing power used only for evil makes it hard to believe it can also be used for good. ”
I looked toward Lumnos. Toward my mate, and toward my people.
My soul ached to go back and tell them what I’d learned.
How different things might be if I could explain to the Descended that the Kindred had never wanted the cruelty done in their name.
Maybe I could make them see that we were not as different as we’d been led to believe, and that even the traits that did divide us would not prevent us from uniting.
Would the war be enough to show them how strong we could be when we fought for, not against, each other?
Though I trusted Luther to lead that charge without me, I couldn’t ignore the feeling that I had not yet finished the journey I set out to walk.
“Diem, you’re here!”
The curtain in the Everflame’s opening drew to the side, allowing me a glimpse inside the Fire, where my brother stood, waving his hand.
“You’re going to love it,” Teller called out. “There’s so much to do. Nothing is forbidden, even for the mortals.” He beckoned for me to join him. “Come on, Father’s taking us all out on his boat.”
Over his shoulder, our father’s old fishing boat bobbed in a bright cerulean ocean. Alixe and Perthe sat inside, chattering excitedly. They caught sight of me and flashed matching smiles, then pressed their fists to their chests, dipping their chins—saluting me, even now.
Beside them, Andrei stood on the shoreline, eyes gleaming. “You’ve done me so proud, soldier. You fought just like I taught you.”
Hearing those words from my father was the most deeply needed balm on my soul. He looked so content—they all did. In life, each of them had carried the heavy burden of duty in different ways, but here, they seemed lighter, freer, unbound. I wanted so badly to join them and feel the same.
Perhaps I didn’t have to accomplish everything I’d hoped for. No one really could. If my life, and my death, inspired those who remained to continue the fight, maybe that was my happiest ending. Leaving the world better off was what I’d wanted most to do.