Chapter 32
For the first time in my life, the sounds in the bay feel awkward instead of familiar.
I duck my head and walk through the narrow hallways to the changing room before anyone can stop me.
This used to be my safe place, my true home, but all of that is ruined now.
It is empty without Maya, and unsafe now that Torres has it out for me.
I heard the whispers when I came in. The stories he must have told them…
“Gonzales is losing it over a woman, Maya has her wrapped around her finger, the lieutenant is willing to risk her team over some chick.” I can almost hear him say it.
With that taunting, deprecating smile on his lips.
Hell, I could see it in his eyes in passing.
A judgmental glare that says more than words.
As if he even has a right to judge. He went to the Chief instead of coming to me. Chickenshit.
I shake my head, trying to get rid of the thought, as I change into my work clothes.
While tying my boots, my eyes fall on the corner locker.
Maya’s locker. The one we normally reserve for junk.
She will probably never speak to me again, and I can’t even blame her.
It is the same story as always. Elena puts work above everything else.
Except that wasn’t it this time, and I know it.
“Gonzales?”
Fernandes’ voice cuts through the haze and I blink up at her. When the hell did she come in, and how long has she been standing there? How long have I been staring? I roll my shoulders. I meet her gaze when I lift my chin.
“How can I help?” My voice sounds steadier than I feel.
“How are you holding up?”
She sits down on the bench next to me and looks at me. There seems to be a hint of pity in her eyes. It makes me want to run. But when she nudges her shoulder against mine, I feel myself leaning into the touch instead.
“I’m fine, why shouldn’t I be…”
“Listen, we know, okay? And you know we know. So, stop pretending and tell me how you really feel.”
It feels like two hands squeezing my throat shut. I grip the bench so tight that my knuckles turn white. How do you feel? My mind is twisting and turning. My stomach is clenching, and I feel like I can snap at any given moment. I feel…
“Amputated.”
The word falls from my lips before I can even finish the thought. Rosa looks up, surprised that I actually answered her. Her eyes are big and filled with concern now. I see her fingers twitch, before she grabs my hand. Her hold is warm and comforting.
“Then why don’t you fix it?”
It sounds so simple when she says it. As if I could just say sorry and that would make everything okay.
But it’s not. The Chief would flip and put me on admin duty for the rest of my life, if he doesn’t decide to fire me altogether.
The crew would… they would lose their trust in me.
And Maya? She could lose her job. She was right about that.
Who would trust a journalist that slept with the person they write about? It would be a scandal.
“I don’t know where to begin,” I sigh. “I just need this nightmare to end. God, if Torres could have just kept his mouth shut…”
“You still would have ended up here,” Fernandes interjects before I can finish the sentence.
I stare at her, shock pulsing through me. She shrugs.
“Listen, Gonzales, it sucks that he went to the Chief and all, but it wasn’t really a big secret, was it? Salisar would have caught on eventually. If he didn’t already know.”
“What do you mean?”
“It is obvious that you two have this… chemistry going on. Undeniably so. Torres didn’t do that. Neither did either of you. It just is.”
She squeezes my hand as I groan and throw my head back.
“I just need things to go back to normal. To forget any of this. I can’t…”
I trail off but Rosa nods anyway. The fire station is as much in her heart as it is in mine.
“Then stop sulking,” she nudges me again, “and let’s get to work.”
***
The moment my boots hit the ground, I glance at the scene.
Two cars are on their sides, another is folded around a pole and emitting thick, dirty smoke.
The other two are pressed together by the impact.
The glass crunches under my feet, and the asphalt shimmers with a purple-green hue that instantly puts me on edge. I grab for my radio.
“Engine 2 on scene. Multiple-vehicle collision with five vehicles. Heavy damage with fuel leaks. Establishing south-side sector.”
Dispatch confirms as the crew moves around me.
“Kill the ignitions and stabilize the vehicles. Don’t move until I say otherwise.”
Fernandes and Díaz sprint to the two tumbled cars while Rivera and Rodriques take the ones in the street.
They know better than to approach the smoking one.
I wouldn’t let them. As I draw closer, I study the vehicle.
The driver is still behind the wheel, and there is a passenger in the other seat—both are unconscious.
The smoke is thick and heavy, coming from underneath the hood.
Something is burning and I don’t know what.
I grab hold of the extinguisher and stalk closer.
I reach through the broken window at the driver’s side to turn the engine off.
The airbag isn’t deployed yet, so I make sure to keep my arm under the steering wheel.
As soon as it turns off, I withdraw and focus on the front again.
There is a big gap under the hood. Good.
That will save me from having to pop it.
I aim the nozzle of the extinguisher and squeeze out the dried powder in short bursts, covering the entire engine.
It hisses at the cold contact but the flames die down and soon the smoke thins.
Even through my mask I can smell the rancid odor of plastic, oil, and electric wires.
“All engines turned off, lieutenant.”
Rodriques pops up next to me, waiting for the next command. I glance over my shoulder. There is no direct threat besides the leaking fuel. None of the cars are electric, so that decreases the risk of sparks.
“Have Rivera pop the hoods, check for trapped passengers. Put Díaz and Fernandes on extraction.”
I glance at the car that is basically glued to the rear end of the other. Even from here I can see the crumpled steel.
“You are with me on that one. Get the cutter.”
“On it, boss.”
He turns on his heels, shouting commands as he goes. I check the two passengers in the car again. They are both still unconscious but breathing—no major injuries that I can spot. I grab for the radio, my glove slick with powder.
“All ignitions off, Engine 2 confirmed. Confirm ETA on medical. Multiple patients, moderate injuries.”
“ETA three minutes.”
I’m already moving toward the other car, meeting Rodriques halfway.
“Status?”
“Mother and daughter trapped inside, doors jammed. No access through window.”
“Any obstructions?”
“Negative, boss. The mother is incoherent though.”
“Passenger side, we take the girl out first.”
Rodriques nods curtly. I have no doubt that he had already anticipated that move.
He fires up the hydraulic cutter, and within moments, the deep, vibrating hum drowns out all other sounds.
I wince at its deafening roar. As I crouch next to the door, he lets the metal jaws bite into the door seam.
The spasm with which it moves through the frame make it seem as if the car is objecting.
Hot sparks fly around us and dart into the sky.
I quickly glance at the sheen on the asphalt, before refocusing on the car. The risk is small enough.
“Easy,” I growl at Rodriques while I press my sticky glove to the side panel.
From the other side, a young girl is looking at me with great, terrified eyes. Her face is streaked with tears and she is trembling in her seat. Behind her, her mother is stirring faintly, her head resting against her window, her eyes rolling in her head.
“Hola, pequena. You are okay,” I raise my voice so that she can hear me over the noise. “We’ll get the door open, and then I’ll grab you, okay? Just stay still for now. Can you do that?”
She sits frozen in her seat. I doubt that she heard me, but the fear on her face is evident.
Elena, look at her. She is terrified. Maya’s voice echoes through my head.
Help her. Calm her. I quickly pull my mask aside to show the kid my face, just as a waft of smoke rolls over me.
I feel it enter my lungs and burn in my throat.
It automatically comes back up when I start coughing.
With my back turned to the car, I slip my mask back on and inhale deeply.
Fucking idiot! Why the hell did I have to think about her in this moment?
That has never happened to me before. Are you that much of an amateur?
Never break protocol. I grit my teeth and turn back toward Rodriques, who signals me with two fingers.
He is almost through. I am grateful his worried look doesn’t linger on me too long. I couldn’t bear the judgment.
“Careful now,” I rasp, my throat thick and irritated.
I brace myself as the screeching whine of the cutter becomes even higher, boring straight into my skull. When the hinge of the door gives way with a loud cracking pop, the girl flinches. Her eyes dart toward me, immediately.
“Almost there, carino,” I shout.
The warmth of the car’s trapped air wafts over me when the door gives in and folds open and the smell of molten plastic and coolant fills the air. I don’t hesitate but lean in and unclip the girl’s seatbelt.
“Alright now, nina,” I whisper.
I wrap my hands around her frame and carefully lift her out.
Her breath trembles, and she instantly wraps her thin arms around my neck, clinging on to me for dear life.
I softly rub her back until I can hand her off to Fernandes, who walks over with an open blanket.
The girl grips me tightly, unwilling to let go.
I hold her for another beat, while I throw a look over my shoulder.
“Alright, carino. Rosa will get you warm and safe while I go help your mom, okay?”
At the mention of her mother, the girl raises her head and her bottom lip starts to quiver.
She nods once and reaches her arms out toward Fernandes, who takes her from me.
As soon as she is in her arms, the weight of the loss hits me.
Sharp and cold—just like Maya’s absence.
I shake my head before I can gasp. Not now, Elena! You have lives to save.
***
When my screen goes dark for the second time, I blink and rub my face in frustration.
I hate that I can’t focus. That my brain is filled with Maya.
Her voice, her smell, the way the sunlight kisses her skin in the morning.
She is everywhere. I growl—and an instant cough follows. Díaz raises an eyebrow from his chair.
“Boss, you should’ve really let the EMTs look at that.”
I scoff. “It’s just some mild smoke inhalation. There’s nothing they can do about it.”
“Excuse me,” a low voice rumbles from behind us.
I turn to face the Chief. His eyes scan my body before he crosses his arms in front of his chest and raises an eyebrow at me. The soft tilt of his chin tells me enough, but I can’t seem to speak.
“There was a mask malfunction, sir. It slipped and lieutenant Gonzales got a lungful of smoke.”
“Gonzales?”
My cheeks burn at the memory. I never break protocol, yet one thought of Maya… I nod to confirm it. Salisar sighs deeply and shakes his head.
“Why aren’t you at the hospital for a check-up?”
It doesn’t matter what I say. He will send me there regardless. So instead of trying to make him understand that I wanted to be productive and that my crew has missed me long enough, I shrug.
“Ahora,” he sighs, pointing at the door.
There’s no room for debate, so once more I grab my stuff and leave the station for another round of drama. What has become of me?