Chapter 33
As soon as the door opens, Tommy’s head bobs up from behind his computer screen. One glance at me and a smile spreads across his face.
“Maya, you’re back. We missed you around here.”
I smile back at him. His warm demeanor is a welcome distraction from the swirling storm in the pit of my stomach.
The past few days have been a tidal wave of sadness, frustration, acceptance, and so much pain that I thought I couldn’t breathe.
I had expected Elena to reach out, but she didn’t.
And somehow that seems so much more like her.
I tug a strand of hair behind my ear and move toward the door behind Tommy. He nearly tumbles off his chair, racing to hold it open for me. I frown while giving him another weary smile. Okay then?
“Thank you,” I say—almost like a question—but he simply nods, as if that answers it all.
I make my way through the maze of hallways.
I’ve only been absent for four days, but I really missed this place.
Not just because of Elena—no. It’s something more than that.
The way my boots sound on these floors, the smell of oil and detergent that always seems to linger in the air, the sounds of life.
This station never sleeps. It vibrates with life, with purpose.
Never in a million years would I have expected it to grow so much on me.
But now that I am back, the sorrow that I felt over the missed days suddenly punches me in the gut, only to be followed up with the realization that it’s only going to be another two weeks and nothing is going to be the same anyway.
I really felt like I was a part of the crew, but I’m sure they would rather see me go than stay now. Nobody likes drama.
A soft sigh escapes my lips as I walk up the steel stairs.
Rosa had graciously agreed to an interview, but only if I’d come to the station.
She had been very adamant about adding that I couldn’t stay away forever.
Technically she was wrong, of course. I could.
But it wouldn’t do me any good. I am a grown woman and I have nothing to run away from.
Besides, Elena made it very clear that nothing is going on.
So, I should treat it as such. It’s the best possible outcome, really.
My heart knows what to expect and my integrity is no longer on the line.
It’s all about my career that I’m here to save.
It had taken me two days to write an article so polished that I’m certain that Helen is going to love it.
Even though it only features Elena superficially and focuses more on the work and the impact of it than the other two articles did.
The article gives a lot of insight into the guts and strength it takes to do this job, especially for women.
Because if the readers of Woman at the Front expect anything, it’s a good feminist hook.
Luckily I can fill some of the gaps with Rosa’s story.
And it gives me a second female voice for the readers to cheer on.
They will eat that up. By the time I reach the cantina, I am filled with resolve.
My eyes scan the room and fall on Rosa, who is already nursing a cup of coffee.
“Hola, guapa!” she calls as soon as she sees me.
Her arms are around my neck before I can blink, and she hugs me tight. I chuckle, more out of surprise than anything else, and sink into her embrace. Not exactly the cold attitude I was expecting. It feels like she actually missed me.
“How are you, have you rested, are you eating enough? It looks like you lost weight?”
She fires her questions at me as she holds me at arm’s length to check on me. The next thing I know, I am sitting in the chair holding my own cup of coffee and eating a breakfast burrito.
“I always make extras, just in case,” she chuckles.
I don’t complain. Instead, I bite into the wrap with a big smile on my face.
It feels good—normal even—to be back here.
But this time I won’t forget my goal. I fish out my recorder and notepad.
Rosa shifts a bit uncomfortably in her seat but doesn’t say a word.
Before I can ask her if she’s okay with me recording the interview, heavy footsteps come up the stairs.
Tommy’s blonde head pops up and he grins widely at us.
“I figured you’ll be busy today, so I got you a little treat,” he chirps cheerfully.
Both Rosa and I raise our eyebrows as we turn toward him.
He carries a big cardboard box that he places on the table with a fake bow.
He takes off the lid to reveal the contents of the box.
Inside are babkas, fruitcakes, cinnamon rolls, and brownies.
The warm smell of the pastries fills the air and I can’t help but smile appreciatively.
I love workplace dynamics where people take care of each other.
Maybe because it’s lacking at Woman at the Front.
Rosa, however, raises her eyebrow even further.
“Uhm, gracias, Tommy.” Her voice sounds strained as she utters the words.
“De nada,” he quips back casually, before holding the box toward me.
I am not sure what happened between them, but I do know that I am not going to say no to a sweet treat to top off that delicious burrito. I grab a babka and nod at Tommy. He smiles and turns to offer Rosa a treat too. She picks a brownie and finally breaks out in a smile as well.
“I’ll put the rest over here, for whoever wants it. Unless of course you do, feel free to take it if that’s the case. Is there anything else you need for now? Coffee? I can make a fresh pot.”
“I think we’re good here, T,” Fernandes responds, nodding her head slightly toward the stairs. “We have an interview to get to.”
“Oh right, well good luck with that.” He glances at us briefly. “You know where to find me if you need anything else.”
His eyes linger on me for a moment, before he turns. We wait a few beats after he is gone, before we both start to chuckle. I shake my head.
“Sorry, but… that was weird, right?”
“Definitely,” she confirms before chuckling again. “But, hey! Brownies.”
With that, she takes a big bite out of the pastry and I sink my own teeth into the chocolate bread. I can hardly complain about that.
***
“So, how did your family respond when you told them you wanted to become a firefighter? I can imagine that caused some stress.”
Rosa huffs and nods in agreement. She takes another sip of coffee and then shakes her head as the memory washes over her.
“My abuela got so angry—cursing that this wasn’t how she raised me, and that I should make smarter decisions. But it was really just fear, you know? Like, I could see it in her eyes. She was terrified.”
“Of you getting hurt?”
“Exactamente. When I reminded her that she had raised me to take care of people and protect those who need it, she almost exploded.” She shrugs and chuckles softly. “I was so stupid when I was twenty. Looking back now I totally understand her anxiety.”
I chuckle at that, too.
“Aren’t we all?”
Before she can reply, determined footsteps come closer.
She automatically turns her head and my gaze follows hers in time to see Elena enter the cantina.
Our eyes lock and for a brief moment I see her face light up.
My stomach flips and my lips part briefly.
But then her mask slams back into place and she is the lieutenant once again.
“Excuse me, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Her voice is cool, raspy, and clipped.
She turns away from us to pour herself some coffee, and doesn’t offer any other acknowledgment. Another stab in the fucking back. I roll my shoulders and swallow once.
“How are your lungs?”
My eyes widen, snapping to Rosa. She shrugs. “Smoke inhalation,” she mouths and my stomach drops.
“All cleared.” Elena doesn’t even bother to turn around.
The nonchalant tone in her voice does nothing to calm me. I press the soles of my feet firmly against the ground and take a deep breath. Not my business. The muscle on my jaw rolls, but I manage to keep my voice steady as I continue my interview with Rosa.
“Anyway, tell me how you convinced her to let you go through with the training.”
Elena’s spine goes rigid at the simple dismissal.
Everything inside me wants her to look at me.
I quickly avert my gaze back to Fernandes, who, in return, is looking at me intently.
She doesn’t say a word but it is clear she is forming an opinion.
Does she know about the rumors that are being spread?
That Elena and I are involved? Does she believe it?
Even if I hope she doesn’t, I can’t blame her if she did.
They were true after all, and she is very observant.
Her lips purse for a moment, but then turn into a grin.
“I didn’t. I told her I wouldn’t go, then snuck out of the house at the very last minute.
I barely made it in time for that first day at the academy.
When I called her that evening, she was fuming, but there was not much she could do.
I don’t think she thought I would make it through the first two months though… I was a bit of a wildcard,” she grins.
“But you did.”
“Yes, I did, and when I returned home, she had finally realized that this is my calling. She said she couldn’t just see it in my face, but also feel it in my soul.”
I swallow at the words. My eyes drift toward Elena, who looks at me at the same time.
A calling. It’s almost as if the word hangs between us, taunting us.
What is going on in her mind right now? Do these words strengthen her thoughts about us?
Make her feel like she made the right choice?
But instead of pride or recognition, I see that desolate look in her eyes—the same one she wore the evening of the metro tragedy.
It’s there one moment, and gone the next.
Yet it tells me all I need to know. She is hurting too, and somehow that makes everything worse and better all at the same time.
***
Rosa and I finish the interview without further interruption. I’m already putting my stuff away and reaching for my jacket when Díaz and Rodriques walk in. Their eyes briefly flick from me to Elena, who sits on the couch working on some papers. Then they both smirk as they high-five me.
“Glad to see you found your way back. Couldn’t stay away from us young gods, could you?”
I chuckle at Díaz’s joke, and he instantly gets shoved on the shoulder by Rosa, turning my chuckle into a laugh.
The knots in my stomach loosen just a little.
They sit down and immediately pull the box of pastries toward them while they continue their banter.
I can’t help but smile at this warm feeling of camaraderie.
“How’s the article going? Are you going to make Gonzales shine?” Rodriques wiggles his eyebrows playfully.
I am taken aback by the sudden question and inhale sharply.
Before I can regain my composure, Elena pushes herself off the couch with a small cough and then marches past us.
Her gaze fixed straight ahead, making it a point not to look at me.
The pain in my chest is razor-sharp and I am done fighting it.
“Excuse me,” I mutter before following her.
She’s already at the end of the bay when I catch up with her, but Elena isn’t slowing down. Not until I put my hand on her shoulder and she freezes completely. The movement is so sudden that I almost crash into her. I withdraw my hand instantly and put some distance between us.
“I understand you don’t want me here, but I have a job to finish. Just like you.”
Her eyes flash at me, but she remains silent.
“You know what… forget it. I’ll stay away for these last two weeks. All I need is our final interview. You set the date and location, I’ll meet you there. And that will be it.”
I push past her toward the exit.
“You have my number. Text me the details.”