18. Clear Understanding
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Skye.”
He only had so much control. Did she not realize that?
“I do know what I’m saying.”
Her hands lifted, his shirt and hoodie going up with it.
He pushed everything down and stepped back.
No way he was going forward without them having a clear understanding.
“You didn’t even want your brother to know we kissed.”
“Kissed twice,” she clarified.
He could see where this was going when she stepped closer and tried to go for his shirt again.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever tried to talk a woman out of sex before. Not someone who he wanted to get naked with.
And maybe he wasn’t trying to talk her out of this either.
More like make sure she understood the rules.
He did have them. Now.
Maybe he hadn’t for years.
But he’d changed and she was going to learn that too.
“Twice,” he agreed. “And now, you’re asking me for what? To flex for you?”
She laughed. Truly laughed.
A sound he hadn’t heard in a long time.
“Oh yes, please.”
Who was this woman?
“I can do that. But we’ve got to come to terms here. I don’t want regrets.”
Her smile dropped.
“I wouldn’t do that. Not to you or anyone. Especially not myself. I’ve had enough regrets in my life.”
He wouldn’t touch that now.
“Okay. I’m exclusive. This isn’t me scratching an itch.”
“Got it, Ash. You’re really ruining the mood. The fact I haven’t had sex in three years should tell you where I stand with that.”
Shit.
Maybe he would have been better off not knowing that fact.
“Then why now? Why me?”
“Because you’ve always wanted me.” She held her hand up when he went to open his mouth. “It’s not a game. I don’t play those games. Hell, I don’t even know how to play them.”
He’d have to take her word for it. “I’ve never played them regardless of what you’ve heard about me.”
“I haven’t heard much. I didn’t pay too much attention in high school, and after, well, I was gone.”
“That’s right. But you’re back. And right now, you’re asking me for sex.”
Not making love. Not yet at least.
And that the idea popped into his head said he might be in more trouble than he realized.
It’d have to be his secret for now.
Hell, they hadn’t even talked about what Corbin said to him earlier.
If her brother knew what he might be doing with Skye right now. Yeah, best not to think about it.
“I didn’t really want to ask. I thought we could...you know, just fall into bed and spontaneously combust like people do.”
With the day she had, she might need it.
But he didn’t want to be used that way.
If she hadn’t kissed him before. If she hadn’t let him get a taste of what she had simmering below the surface, then he might have his doubts.
Yeah, he still had them, but he’d clear them up as best as he could.
His fingers slid into her hair again.
He looked into her eyes, saw her look of victory that she was getting her way.
But she wasn’t. Not yet.
“Tell me this,” he said, his voice low. “Is this just tonight, or the beginning of something you’re not ready to name? Because I won’t be used. I can’t do that.”
Her expression sobered. She searched his eyes, really looked at him this time. Whatever she saw there must have been enough.
“I want to feel,” she said honestly. “Tonight. I don’t want to think or plan or promise anything I can’t guarantee. But I don’t use people, Ash. Ever.” She swallowed. “I’m not going anywhere. Whatever happens in the morning, we’ll face it. I’ll still be here.”
The weight in his chest eased. Just a little.
It was answer enough.
“So will I,” he said.
Then he kissed her.
Not tentative. Not rushed.
Like a decision.
He kissed her like he’d already waited too long.
Whatever restraint he’d been clinging to snapped the second her hands fisted in his shirt again, pulling him closer instead of pushing him back. Her mouth opened under his, a soft sound slipping free that went straight through him.
From his gut to his dick.
In seconds he was straining at his jeans and impatient to get them off.
He got the answer he needed. He could live with whatever tomorrow brought.
This was it.
The world narrowed to heat and breath and the way she fit against him like he always knew she would. Like she’d been waiting just as long.
He didn’t slow it down. He couldn’t.
And it didn’t look as if she was going to let him with the way his shirt and sweatshirt were both lifted up and over his head at once.
Her eyes landed on his chest, moving over him in a slow appreciation.
He let her look. He let her stare. Then he let her finger run down the center, between his nipples, over his ribs, around his belly button and halting right at the top of his jeans. Not questioning if she could continue, but more like a tease of what was to come.
He stopped her then. Not here. Not in her living room.
His hand slid to her jaw, the other to her waist, and he kissed her deeper, harder, urgency thrumming through every nerve. She answered him without hesitation, rising onto her toes, pressing into him as if distance itself offended her.
“The bedroom,” she murmured against his mouth.
It was as if she’d read his mind.
He didn’t respond with words. He didn’t need to.
Instead, he scooped her up, her surprised laugh dissolving into another breathless kiss as her arms flew around his neck. She wrapped her legs around his waist without thinking, instinctive and trusting, and that alone nearly undid him.
“I could have walked,” she teased softly.
“Not a chance,” he muttered, already moving.
He took the hallway too fast, his shoulder brushing the wall, his steps sure but hurried. Every second felt stolen, like if he paused even for a heartbeat this might disappear.
He nudged the bedroom door open with his foot harder than he thought, making it bang into the wall behind it, then crossed the room in two long strides, lowering her onto the edge of the bed but not letting go, not even for a second.
Her hands were everywhere now. His shoulders, his neck, his jaw. It was as if she needed to make sure he was real. As if she was afraid he might vanish if she blinked.
He hovered over her, their foreheads pressed together, both of them breathing hard.
“You’re sure?” he asked, low and steady despite the fire roaring through him.
“Yes,” she said instantly, fingers gripping his waistband and yanking him closer, making him almost lose his balance and have to brace on the bed not to crush her. “God, yes. Condoms in my bathroom if you don’t have one.”
He froze.
He didn’t. Why would he just carry one for the hell of it?
He stepped back. “Where?”
“You’ll take too long.”
She stood up, marched out of the room. He heard the cabinet open and close, then a new box flying through the air towards his head.
The fact that she hadn’t had sex in three years and yet had a new box ready for him said everything.
It was about him. Not just an itch. Not just a one-time thing.
She’d planned this out to happen... eventually.
And tonight eventually was happening.
He caught it one handed, opened it and pulled one out, tossing it on the bed, then picking her up and depositing her right next to it.
There was no time for slow. No time to savor this.
He was lucky he could connect two thoughts together.
His fingers went to work. First her shirt was up and she took it out of his hands to remove it so he tackled her jeans.
The button was pushed through the hole in one movement, the zipper down, the material yanked off faster than he’d ever done in his life.
Her underwear caught and was sent down, then stopped on her thighs.
Yep, they were gone just as fast.
Three years.
It was roaring in his ears.
The way she was wiggling on the bed and worked up, she’d go over fast.
Too fast for him.
The last thing he needed was to be labeled a man who couldn’t please a woman.
He dove between her legs, got on his knees, yanked her to the edge and flung her feet over his shoulders.
His mouth landed right at the junction of her dewy lips, his tongue came out, gave a little taste, then went full throttle.
He licked her. He sucked the tender flesh. He nibbled in just the right spot.
It was about finding her weaknesses. Finding her pleasure points.
Then it was about warming her up and getting her ready.
He thrust a finger in, his tongue darting around her swollen bud.
She all but locked her ankles around his neck, telling him he found the spot.
A second finger went in. Tighter this time, but she was relaxing. She was opening up.
Then she was coming. She was pulsing and chanting his name like a victory celebration.
It felt that way to him. Made him want a second one on top of it.
He stood up, undid his jeans and dropped them down, his cock springing free.
When he looked up to get the condom, it was right in front of him, Skye’s hand out holding the foil-covered protection, but her eyes were on where he was going to put it.
The fingers on her other hand reached out to touch him. Just a feather light caress over his tip, down the length of him.
All it did was make him rush to get that condom on, then get into position.
She didn’t inch up on the bed and he didn’t have time to instruct her to.
Maybe she didn’t want him to either. Not with the way she lifted her legs back up as if this was some routine they’d practiced for ages.
He grabbed her legs, wrapped them around his hips, hoisted her a little higher. Her back arched, but the two of them lined up perfectly.
The slide in wasn’t as smooth as he would have liked. But not as tight as he had feared.
And once he was fully embedded, his body wanted to sing out in joy.
Then it wanted to slam into her again and again. To send that bed rocking and their bodies cresting.
Not until he got her there again though.
His thumb landed on her little bud of pleasure again, rotated around several times while he kept his knees locked in place. It was the only thing keeping him still for the moment.
“Jesus, you’re squeezing me so tight I’m going to come without moving.”
“Don’t you dare,” she hissed. “Not yet.”
“I’ll get you there,” he gritted out. But he wasn’t sure how the fuck that might happen before he blew his load.
He was rubbing hard. Rubbing faster.
Her eyes were shut, her head was back, she was even grinding against him now.
He pinched her. Gave her a bit of pain and that was all it took.
“Ash! Oh God, Ash!”
He was holding her hips, slamming into her, coming and coming hard.
Everything he had, everything that had built up was breaking free. And it was... freeing.
His body gave out.
He almost fell to his knees, but let gravity take over and have him land on the bed, turning her at the last minute so she was on his chest.
“God and Ash in the same sentence sure does have a nice ring to it.”
His hand was running down her back, her bra still on. They hadn’t gotten to that.
He hadn’t even thought of it until just now when his thumb grazed it.
“Maybe next time I can get you to say God and Skye in the same sentence.”
“I’d like to hold you to that, as long as you don’t think it’s a promise.”
“Oh, I’ll promise that,” she said, grinning against his chest, then kissing it.
And with that move, his worries were gone—for now.