Chapter Seventeen. Disconnect
Chapter Seventeen
DISCONNECT
Despite the sun barely peeking over the horizon, Cam was awake when her phone rang. She knew who was on the other end, and muscle memory allowed her to accept the FaceTime call without pulling her gaze from the window.
“Hi,” Morgan said softly. “I know it’s early but … I needed to talk to you. Because I feel awful, and you’re upset, and the last thing I want is for—”
“Morgan,” Cam interrupted, sitting up in bed. “Just tell me why.”
“Because we didn’t want to—”
“Hurt me. I got that from the guys. But not telling me hurts a lot more. Why couldn’t you just be honest?”
“When you two broke up…” Morgan swallowed, her words shaky.
“It hit us all hard, okay? And I’m not trying to compare our heartbreak to yours and Cory’s but …
things changed. I felt like I couldn’t talk to him.
Drew felt like he couldn’t talk to you. Danny fucking disappeared for months.
We’ve worked so hard to get to where we are now and …
I never gave any thought to what our futures looked like.
So, imagine my surprise when Cory calls me in January and says he proposed to Tabby.
I’m so fucking happy for them, but there’s a part of me that mourns what could’ve been with you two.
And not because I think you’re soulmates or anything but because… ”
“It was easy for all of you,” Cam whispered.
“Yes, and I know that makes me selfish, and I’m sorry.
” Morgan took a ragged breath, and while Cam refused to look at the screen, she knew her best friend was crying.
“He was going to invite you but when it came time to finalize the guest list, he changed his mind. He was worried it would be weird and uncomfortable. And … he wanted to be the one to tell you but … I told him not to. I thought it would be better coming from me, Drew, and Danny.”
“When was I going to find out? When pictures of the wedding hit my feed?”
“No! Danny was going to tell you but then Drew opened his big mouth. I’m shocked he managed to keep quiet this long.”
“You all are supposed to be my best friends,” Cam said, blinking back tears, “and yet you kept this huge secret from me. That hurts more than Cory not inviting me. Because now I have four friends who don’t know what to do with me.”
“I’m sorry! We just … I know how difficult things have been and I—”
“Just because things are rough doesn’t mean I don’t want to be told the truth.”
“I love you, okay? And the last thing I wanted to do was cap off a termination and an arrest with Cory engaged and you not getting an invite. That’s why we kept pushing this off—”
The dam broke, the tears soaking her cheeks. “Okay,” she croaked, “I need to go, Morgan. It’s way too early to hear about how fucking sorry my best friends feel for me. I need coffee before my morning dose of pity.”
“Cam, please—”
She ended the call. Summoning just enough energy to brush her teeth and throw on a sweatshirt, Cam headed to the beach, journal in tow. Her early rise had beaten everyone else. Danny’s door was closed, and Drew was asleep on the couch.
When she found her favorite stretch of shoreline, she dropped to the sand. It was chilly, but comfortable, and she inhaled the salty sea air as she took in the beautiful mix of blue and orange collaged in the sky.
Back in DC, there was nothing similar. Obviously, no beach, but there were few green spaces that provided the same joy.
Leaving her apartment meant inhaling the sulfur smell of the Metro or trudging to work in her commuting sneakers, only to slide into uncomfortable heels the moment she got to the fluorescent hellscape camouflaged as her office.
But this? This was life.
This was living.
Blood rushing, she cracked open her journal and returned to the novel outline she’d been working on.
There were loose threads of a plot, shadowy figures of characters, bits and pieces of a puzzle that were beginning to work together.
Chunks of dialogue flowed on the next page and the imaginary conversations escaping her brain were scribbled down with the speed of a well-practiced stenographer.
Her characters didn’t have faces, or names, but she knew what they were feeling. What they’d say. How they’d react.
She didn’t stop writing until the tears leaked and her hands cramped, ten whole pages filled with words that would eventually make sense. That would eventually fill the gaps of her story like patchwork on a quilt.
Even though her hand ached, she wasn’t ready to stop.
She only closed the journal at the sound of someone approaching.
While she’d expected Danny, it was Drew who joined her, dressed in an Adams hoodie pulled over his head.
He dropped beside her on the sand and lay back, yawning as he stretched out.
One hand arched behind his neck like a pillow, while the other blocked his eyes from the rising sun.
“I didn’t take you for an early riser, Camille.”
Drew was the only person to always use her full name. His consistency through the years usually made her smile.
Not that morning.
“Morgan called me,” she replied, studying the incoming waves.
“She apologized. I could tell she felt terrible. She was crying and it takes a lot for Morgan to cry. But I also got to hear about how easy it would be for all of us if Cory and I were still together, and how my life is pathetic, so you guys were doing me a favor not telling me and making it worse.”
Drew winced. “She said that?”
Her shoulders slumped, and she dragged her fingers through the damp sand. “Not exactly.”
For a moment, Drew said nothing. Until: “It would’ve been easier.
You and Cory.” He sat up, dusting sand from his back.
“It’s a romantic thought. Spending forever with your best friend.
” He stared ahead, bags heavy beneath his blue eyes.
“You remember how in Tulum, Morgan and I weren’t talking?
How we never really shared why, we just kinda brushed it off? ”
“I remember.”
“Everyone assumed I said something stupid and pissed her off. But … that’s not what happened. Halfway through the trip, I told her I had feelings for her. We had a … difficult conversation. I regret a lot about my actions that night but—never mind. That’s not why I brought this up.”
Cam blinked, processing the admission. “I didn’t know.”
Back in college, everyone knew Drew had feelings for Morgan.
It was an unspoken weight that followed their crew around, especially obvious whenever Drew tossed a flirtatious joke or one of his signature smolders.
When Morgan came out in the months following graduation, Drew eventually moved on, and the friendship between the pair survived unscathed.
But Cam was shocked to hear Drew had confessed his feelings. That he risked nearly four years of friendship for the opportunity to be with Morgan.
“We didn’t tell anyone. The five of us were already leaving Mexico with you and Cory broken up.
Why add more fuel to the fire?” He tugged the strings of his sweatshirt, tightening the hood around his face.
“Things were awkward between me and Morgan, you and Cory were barely speaking … I was so afraid we were going to get back to school and the group was never going to be the same. I remember sitting in the airport in complete silence. Danny kept trying to start conversations, to get us to smile, but … we didn’t have it in us. It was a mess.
“People always joke about friendship divorce, and when you and Cory broke up, that’s what it felt like.
The kids were being divvied up. You got custody of Morgan, Cory got custody of me, and Danny was like the family dog forced to trot back and forth between the houses.
So yeah, hypothetically, things would be easier if you and Cory were together.
If that’s what you two wanted. It’s not, and that’s okay.
But now the challenge is figuring out how to keep our family together.
We’re getting older. We don’t see each other as often.
And it’s only going to get harder as we start settling down and doing whatever it is that old people do. ”
She frowned, brushing away her tears. “I know.”
“In some ways,” Drew continued, “I’m glad Morgan and I were never together. Getting involved with friends is messy. Falling in love just fucks everything up.”
His words were a grenade after her sleepless night. Because she hadn’t lain awake thinking about Cory’s engagement or her friends’ secrecy.
Instead, she’d replayed her kiss with Danny over and over again.
Her defenses were weak, overcome with visions of soft lips and a beer-flavored kiss. Of masculine groans, and gentle cologne, and two strong hands grabbing her hips …
Desperate to change the conversation, Cam whispered, “When I was a kid, I might’ve preferred sugarcoating. But now, I want the truth, good or bad.”
“Okay. And the truth is, the three of us thought the best way for you to learn about Cory’s wedding was by getting the invite.
But when Cory told us that wasn’t happening, we had to decide how to tell you, and …
believe me, getting shit news over the phone fucking sucks.
So, we wanted to do it in person, but there wasn’t an opportunity until you got to Elswick.
Danny volunteered but … I beat him to it.
” He sighed. “I’m sorry. About everything.
It was never our intention to hurt you.”
“I know. But I was, and it makes me feel like I’m this sad, pathetic person who my friends pity.”
“We don’t pity you. And you sure as hell aren’t pathetic. I think you’re fucking cool.”
“Why?”
“You said fuck it and moved to the beach for the summer. That’s ballsy. You’re ballsy.”
“You can do it, too.”
Drew laughed. “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind for next summer.”
Her smile cracked her tearstained cheeks. “If we’re apologizing, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you during your breakup.”
She still wasn’t sure what happened. Maybe Drew decided not to tell her because they’d grown apart. Or maybe, in the process of protecting her feelings over Cory’s wedding snub, the news of his breakup seemed less important. In which case …
Cam felt guilty for being angry.
“Don’t worry about it.” He nudged her shoulder. “Just promise you’ll be around for the next one.”
She laughed. “Are you anticipating your next breakup?”
“With my record, I’d be stupid not to.” He grinned. “Should we keep apologizing for things?”
“Do you have more?”
“Remember after you and Morgan’s Super Bowl party junior year, how you couldn’t figure out who threw up in your bathroom trash can?”
“OH MY GOD!” She shoved him. “ANDREW! We blamed that guy in my comms class!” As he laughed, she shoved him again. “Who throws up in a bathroom trash can? The toilet was RIGHT THERE!”
“The lid was closed.” He shrugged. “Didn’t have enough time.”
“I’m going to kill you!”
His grin widened. “So, I take it you’re okay?”
She glared for a few moments, until relaxing with a sigh. “Yeah. I’m okay. I just feel a little embarrassed about how I freaked out. I want to be happy for Cory. But…”
“You want him suffering because you’re suffering.”
“Exactly.”
Drew threw a comforting arm over her shoulder. “Oh, Camille, what is marriage if not suffering?”
“You’re supposed to be the hopeless romantic. If you don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage, who does?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t believe in it. I just know it’s a lot of pain for pleasure.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t care if it’s unsanctioned. I’m speaking at your wedding and I’m repeating those exact words.”
“Ouch. That’ll make quite the wedding tape.” Cam and Drew turned, finding Danny on the sand, an excited Reggie circling. “You both were gone.”
He was wearing black-framed glasses, the same ones he slipped on whenever his contacts weren’t in.
She loved how he was a chameleon in them.
Sometimes so boyish and carefree, with a bedhead and toothpaste on his chin.
Other times so mature and serious, with a pen tucked behind his ear and a stack of paperwork in his hands.
“I was getting some writing done,” she replied, turning to the water so she wouldn’t stare at those fucking glasses. “Then Drew joined me.”
“We had a heart-to-heart,” Drew teased, jumping to his feet. “Which has only made me hungry. Surely there’s somewhere serving breakfast this early?”
“Of course.” Danny whistled for Reggie. “I’ll lead the way.”
Cam raced after the guys, her thoughts returning to wedding speeches. “So … are you two in the wedding?”
“No!” Drew groaned, like a jealous little kid. “Cory has three brothers. We were never making the cut.”
Cam laughed. “What about the bachelor party?”
“He’s not having one,” Danny said. “Instead, he and Tabby”— since when did everyone refer to this woman by a nickname? —“are going on an engagementmoon. Whatever the hell that is.”
“An engagementmoon?” she repeated. “Like … a honeymoon or a babymoon?”
“Uh-huh. A week before the wedding, they’re staying at a cabin in the Catskills. It’s their alternative to having individual parties.”
“If you ask me,” Drew added, “I think it’s because Tabby doesn’t have a lot of friends. Her mom’s stepping in as a third bridesmaid so Cory can have all three brothers and keep it balanced.”
Cam bit her lip, selfishly pleased that maybe Cory’s future wife was in fact not so perfect. “Oh. That’s unfortunate.”
Danny laughed. “Is it?”
“Yeah … not everyone is lucky enough to have friends like ours.”
“Rest assured, Camille, we’ll all be in your wedding,” Drew promised. “I’d even be the flower girl if you asked nicely.”
The declaration warmed her heart. And so they walked to breakfast, trading barbs like nothing had changed, even if everything had.