Chapter 23. In Which I’m Asked to Give Advice on Something Outrageous, Revolting, Horrific, Heinous, Nauseating, Disgust
IN WHICH I’M ASKED TO GIVE ADVICE ON SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS, REVOLTING, HORRIFIC, HEINOUS, NAUSEATING, DISGUSTING, AND, ABOVE ALL ELSE, MACAbrE
We break out into cheers the moment the results ping our laptops.
Jade whips out a leftover liter of vodka to pour into cups and mix with whatever flat soda she has left under her bunk. After a win like today’s, I take one happily. Mom and Dad would be aghast, and for the first time, that pushes me to want to do it more.
When Felix returns from a mysteriously long outing at Lake River’s canoe dock—conveniently at the same time Jameson was on lifeguarding duty—we tell him the good news, and he starts a chain of high fives while repeatedly singing the phrase teamwork can make a dream work.
Which, for once, I can get behind. When Felix reaches Benedict for a high five, however, he doesn’t reciprocate.
“In the grand scheme of things, we’re still behind,” Benedict mutters, arms crossed. “We’re tied with three other teams, and Cabin Zeta and Cabin Gamma are still beating us. And we’re up against Gamma for our last test on the bracket.”
Luca’s cabin.
With all the celebration, I almost forgot. They also won their bracket. They’re undefeated, even after we accidentally burned down their cabin.
Still, last night doesn’t feel like a waste. Not when our team is getting along better than ever now. It has to be why we won today.
Next round, though, we’ll compete directly against Luca’s cabin. If we’re going to score enough total points to make it to the Medal of Victory contest, then we need to beat them.
“It leaves us with a chance,” says Christiana, who I can’t help but notice is linking arms with Jade. Might mean something, or maybe also not. “And it’s not just the first-place team that moves on. We can get second place and still qualify for the Medal of Victory contest.”
“And points are doubled next round.” Jade points at her email. “That gives us a better chance. If we don’t suck and lose.”
“Agreed!” Felix says. “You know, this weekend’s fun-filled activity is the S’mores by the Cozy Campfire-works Celebration.”
“The what?” I ask.
“The S’mores by—”
“What is that?” Benedict interrupts.
“It’s—”
“What are you talking about?” Jade asks, her face nearly twisting in offense.
Felix’s eye twitches, but he manages to retain his positive smile. “The S’mores by the Cozy Campfire-works Celebration! We’ll be shooting off fireworks on the Canvasback Lake promenade. And there will be s’mores and campfire stations full of blankets and pillows and oh-so-hot apple cider!”
“Make it stop,” Jade says, and takes a sip from her drink.
“The other mentors and I are still planning logistics,” Felix says, ignoring her. “But we should celebrate there.”
I smile back at them, but it’s weak. We’re one step closer to a perfect world where we reach the Medal of Victory contest, but will it matter? Undoubtedly, Luca will be well rested again by then. Back to full power.
Logically, the sabotage shouldn’t stop here. We should plan another attack during the brAIN Wars.
I should keep trying to break his heart.
But I can’t. Even if that worsens our odds of winning.
“We should start thinking of our individual presentations for the Medal of Victory contest,” I say to them. We still have our collective brainpower. Now that we’ve started taking our study sessions seriously, maybe that alone can be enough. “To get a head start in case we make it.”
Felix swipes Jade’s cup out of her grasp and holds it up like an offering.
“You took the words out of my mouth, Rory. Oh, Bachelor Island Ghost, give these kids the power to think up ideas that could revolutionize the world with what they’ve learned at brAIN!
” He takes a sip of the drink, and his whole face scrunches.
We watch in silence as he coughs the vodka back into the cup unceremoniously.
He shows us a deep frown. “I’m going to pretend this never happened.”
“I’ve already started on my presentation,” Christiana says quietly, mostly to Jade, but also to us. “My presentation would be on the optimization of—”
“Whoa,” I interrupt. “You sure you want to share that?”
Christiana glances around the cabin. “Why not?”
“At the contest, we wouldn’t be a team anymore. We’d be our own competition.”
Felix holds up a finger. “If you ask one another for feedback, won’t your projects be better off in the end? And I’m here to help.”
Benedict nods in agreement. “I’ll be desiring feedback.
I’ve been considering doing my project on the psychological constructs of artificial intelligence in robotics.
” Something distracts him—Big Papa Huge Time, climbing up his silk sleeve.
He flinches and holds his arm out like he’s trying to detach it from his body.
“I want to do mine on the Bachelor Island Ghost,” Jade says with a concerning amount of confidence, ignoring Benedict’s rat problem. “I don’t know how yet. But I think my parents would like it.”
“Rory,” Felix says, turning my way. “What about you?”
I take in everyone around the room. How are they all so passionate about a particular idea already? “I … haven’t really thought about it yet.”
“Too busy thinking about Luca?” Jade says through a smirk.
I stiffen. “What?”
She lets out a cackle so piercing that Christiana flinches and lets go of her arm. “Isn’t it hilarious how everyone thinks you’re a thing because our vocal tract system accidentally got named Luca? People were still talking about it when we left.”
Benedict huffs loudly enough to pull my attention, drilling a firm stare at the floor. Big Papa Huge Time sits on his shoulder now. The rat has apparently taken a liking to everything Benedict does, wagging his tail in delight.
With all the celebratory news, I almost forgot that one of the most mortifying events of my life happened today. Maybe everyone else will finally back off from Luca as their designated CC, assuming he’s taken.
My chest warms at the possibility, but I’m not sure why. I’m no longer trying to make him fall in love with me.
He can date whoever and whenever he wants. Unlike me.
Between my attempts to distract Luca and our weekly tests, I’m the only one in this cabin who hasn’t started brainstorming presentation ideas. I’ll need to figure this out by the Campfire-works Celebration this weekend.
“I’m going out before our new lab starts,” Jade says on the way to the door, her goth-style cowboy boots stomping loudly against the floor. “Big Papa Huge Time keeps telling me he’s antsy and wants to go for a run by Lake River.”
“I’ll join you!” Felix says, more excitement coloring his already permanently positive tone. Almost definitely because Jameson is still lifeguarding by the canoes.
“Rory,” Benedict and Christiana say at the same time.
We all trade looks.
“Sorry,” says Christiana, who’s holding a notebook to her chest now. “I just want your advice on something. If you have time?”
“Sure.” I turn to Benedict. “What’s up?”
Benedict’s mouth opens, but then it closes again. His gaze drifts to Christiana, like whatever he wants to say to me can’t be said around her. “Never mind.”
“You’re positive?”
But Benedict is already grabbing his backpack off his bed and leaving.
I watch him through the windows, heading toward the main path alone. He seems upset. What would he have to be upset about when we just won our first test?
“Ready?” Christiana says, claiming a seat at the study table.
I join her one chair over. She must want advice on her ideas. “Are you sure you want my help?”
She sucks in a long, deep breath, and my mind races and fails to deduce what could possibly be about to leave her mouth. “I’ve looked up to you. For a long time.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“But I thought you didn’t know who I was at the start of camp,” I say, running through my memory bank. “No one did. Not even Benedict recognized me at first.”
“When no one else knew you, I felt weird for knowing you a lot. Well, from a distance. We’ve competed at a lot of the same competitions. Probably over ten by now. We were just at the National Science Bowl together back in April.”
The National Science Bowl. That was at George Washington University. It was nothing compared to the large scale of the JSHS National Competition back in the city. We should’ve crossed paths.
All I remember is Luca’s team beating us during the final elimination round by one measly point. “What division did you compete in?”
“Brookhaven. Same as you.” A smile that I don’t fully understand creeps up her face. “But you seemed a bit distracted by … other people.”
“I’m so sorry.” I mean it with everything I have, my chest heavy with fault. When I thought Luca hadn’t noticed me in the same way, I’d harbored more frustration than could physically fit into my body.
“It’s okay,” Christiana says quickly. “We would’ve never ranked close to each other. My dad’s company is taking up so much of my time, yet he expects me to do well at these competitions, and with my grades, and…”
Leaning farther down the table, I bring back the cups we were drinking our vodka-and-soda concoctions out of before. “Your parents sound as strict as mine.”
It feels like something I’m not supposed to admit aloud. A criticism against Mom and Dad is, by extension, a criticism of Prince List. My whole identity.
But when I choose my clothing every morning in this cabin, Dad’s not here to tell me to change my belt or shoes or socks.
When I pick up a black coffee from the Food Laboratory past three, Mom isn’t there to swap it with herbal tea.
And when I brush my teeth in the back mirror, I’ve almost completely stopped checking my face for my dermatologist or my hair length for my stylist, even though my testosterone gel has only made these more unpredictable to manage.
Only now am I realizing just how much these little moments were stressing me out. Sometimes more than the everyday public pressure of being the Prince Kid. Being picked apart for being wrong every second of every day by my parents is so much worse.
Christiana laughs in solidarity, but there’s an undercurrent of bitterness. She grabs her cup and takes a sip. “My parents prepared me for brAIN more than my SATs or anything else. My dad won the Medal when he was my age.”
“Wow,” I say, suddenly feeling like I’m talking to royalty.
“He expects me to win to make up for my grades. But they’re only slipping because of how much I unofficially help SaCella. He doesn’t see it that way, though. He told me that if I can’t handle this now, then he won’t pass on any leadership inheritance to me.”
“Wait. If you don’t win the Medal, you’ll seriously lose out on your dad’s company?”
“More or less,” she says on a shaky breath, like me just saying those words skyrocketed her anxiety. “I just wanted to let you know because I want your advice.”
“Right,” I say uneasily, feeling pressure now. I grab my own cup and take a sip as well. “I’m not sure if I can help. I don’t know anything about biomedical science—”
“It’s not about the contest,” she says. “I want love advice.”
I choke on my second sip of my vodka-soda concoction. My throat burns alive. “What?”
“If we make it to the contest, we’ll all be competing against one another. So, that means I’ll also be up against Jade…” A wistful look enters her gaze. “I think she needs the Medal more than she’s letting on.”
I blink. “Her?”
“Jade’s parents are barely around. They sent her to brAIN just so they could ghost hunt all month without her.” Christiana shakes her head. “Jade claims her parents don’t even fully understand what brAIN is. They just heard about it from a friend.”
“I had no clue.”
“She’d never admit this to just anyone. But they don’t care about her future. The Medal and the Genius Society would help her. But I need it, too. It’s awkward.”
“I didn’t know you two had made up this much,” I say curiously.
Christiana slumps back in her chair, her pixie cut flouncing upon impact. “I’ve never not liked Jade. I just didn’t know I liked girls until her. So, I had a crisis.”
“I think they call it a gay awakening.”
“Tomato, tomahto.”
I want to help. Really. But. “Why have you come to me with this again?”
She examines me plainly, like the answer should be obvious. “Because you and Luca would be stuck in the same situation.”
My brain sparks. “Pardon?”
“Because of how you’ve always felt about him? Now that it’s not a secret anymore, competing against each other must be tough.”
Me, into Luca, for years? The boy who humiliated and beat me at every competition?
I knew some campers thought we had a thing now. But never did I think that someone would assume I’ve harbored secret feelings for Luca all this time.
“You’re mistaken,” I try to say as politely as I can, but it comes out sharp. How can it not? I’m being accused of lying to my mom and dad purposely, for the entirety of my high school career.
For Luca of all people.
Christiana nods a few times, but it’s a bit too casual. Like she doesn’t believe me, as if I’m just trying to cover up a disgusting, sinful, real crush. “You may want to explain that to the rest of the camp.”
“Explain what?”
“No one has been making you their CC because they think you’re with Luca.”
I grip my nose bridge. “They think we’re seriously together? Like, together together? Who would’ve made up this lie? Is someone trying to sabotage me?”
Christiana presses her lips awkwardly together. “I don’t think anyone made up a lie, Rory. I think they just have eyes.”
The words shake me to my core.
Reminding myself about my abandoned plan to break Luca’s heart is the last thing I want to do.
But the more Christiana insists that I purposely disobeyed Mom and Dad in this major way, the more it feels like a needle pushing into me.
My defenses are whipped up to their highest gear, protecting me from this lie that could ruin everything if it were true. That could ruin me.
It’s not true. It’s not true. I do not have feelings for Luca.
I.
Do.
Not.
Love.
Him.
“But I hate him,” I sputter. It’s the one thing I promised myself I never would reveal to anyone here. But now my vision is blurring, and I suddenly need to make Christiana believe this more than anything. I need everyone to. “I was only trying to break his heart. None of it was real.”
Christiana’s face falls. “What? What do you mean?”
“He keeps beating us. Beating me. Beating everyone.”
“Is he?”
My shame grows as I reveal the truth aloud, but I swallow it. “He deserves payback. Like, when we painted his cabin to keep him up all night. That’s all.”
Christiana’s eyes race around the floorboards. When she looks back up, her gaze is full of disappointment. “Damaged walls can be replaced, Rory. A heart can’t be.”