Chapter 24. In Which My Enemy’s Arms Are Always Bigger Than I Expect, Which I Guess Makes Sense Because He’s a Hockey Pl
IN WHICH MY ENEMY’S ARMS ARE ALWAYS BIGGER THAN I EXPECT, WHICH I GUESS MAKES SENSE BECAUSE HE’S A HOCKEY PLAYER, BUT JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK
Dr. Gupta’s week-four Hybrid Nanomaterials Laboratory focuses on how nanostructuring and the deliberate addition of impurities can actually generate new functionalities and improve energy efficiency.
On Tuesday and Wednesday, we learn how to apply tiny nanocrystals that are ten thousand times smaller than the diameter of a human hair to LEDs.
On Thursday and Friday, we improve the radiation-detection range of an infrared detector.
My brain is fried from the emotional intensity of the last week and deeply appreciates the hands-on lessons over reading and writing.
Luca doesn’t look my way during any labs or in the Food Laboratory. He could just be creeped out after I accidentally named our virtual assistant Luca. Or maybe he figured out I’d been plotting to break his heart. Or that I was the one who destroyed his cabin.
A worry that brews from deeper inside, though, makes me wonder if he’s shaken from the fire. If he’s okay.
The worry twists my stomach tighter. And tighter.
Until I finally pick up a notebook between lab hours and study sessions with my cabin to draft my findings on potentially improving Luca’s slap shot.
If he isn’t okay, then solving this mystery may pick up his spirits.
It’s not what I should be doing with only a little over a week until the Medal of Victory contest. I need to develop a few concrete ideas that I could present if my cabin makes it that far.
Heavy emphasis on if. Now that I no longer have the willpower to break Luca’s heart, there’s no guarantee that my cabin will, or even can, beat his.
By the time the week bleeds into the Sunday of the S’mores by the Cozy Campfire-works Celebration, I’ve already filled up my notebook with twenty pages of equations that I’d like to see Luca test on the ice.
Later that afternoon, when Jade persuades Benedict and me to join her and Christiana at the Campfire-works Celebration, I give in easily under the faith that I can show these findings to Luca and maybe figure out how he’s holding up.
After everything I did, fixing his slap shot is the least I can do, too.
Then I’ll pretend none of this happened. The sabotage, the distractions, and especially Luca. Luckily, Christiana hasn’t brought up our conversation about Luca again. To me or anyone else, as far as I can tell.
I need to put Luca behind me before that happens.
When I enter the concrete promenade encircling Canvasback Lake, our cabin’s designated meetup spot, plenty of others are here, too.
A few mentors stand behind stalls made of fold-up tables, handing off s’mores supplies.
Others are already down by the shore, struggling to help campers construct their fires in metal pits.
From Jameson’s many exasperated sighs, I wouldn’t be surprised if he started chucking the fireworks at them soon.
While I wait for my cabinmates, I keep my anxious energy at bay by repeatedly readjusting my baseball cap and checking my miniature backpack to ensure my hockey-equation notebook is still there. Once that grows redundant, I work on rolling the cuffs of my jacket.
Well, Luca’s jacket. Which is arguably deranged of me to wear, but it’s time I give it back. Hopefully, me wearing it will catch his attention and force him to finally acknowledge me. Tonight, I need all the help I can get with that.
“Where are Jade and Christiana?” Benedict’s voice comes from my left.
He approaches me in the dark, hands tucked in his pleated slacks pockets. The breeze blows against his light hair and sleek black windbreaker, but it doesn’t ruin his look. In fact, it enhances it, like he’s standing by a fan during a photo shoot.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” I say, surveying the shoreline filled with other campers. Maybe I missed Jade or Christiana passing by. Or they bailed to go make out somewhere, and they’ve awesomely trapped me and Benedict together. “You haven’t seen them?”
Benedict doesn’t answer. He seems more focused on my jacket. Rather, the patches that are on the sleeves, revealing that it belongs to Luca. “I’m surprised that jacket survived.”
“Sorry?”
“I assumed it would be unsavable after our peace party. And you—well.”
That night will haunt me for the rest of my cruel life. “Luca washed it a lot, apparently, but—” I pause. “How do you know about that?”
He studies me. “You don’t remember.”
I think back to that party, attempting to jog my memory for the millionth time. Like always, I come up blank. “Were you there?”
“For a bit.”
The only plausible answer dawns on me. “Were you the one who helped me to bed? Wait, did you clean the whole cabin, too?”
“It’s fine.”
My chest pinches with guilt, but as I reflect upon his unpredicted kindness, a fuzzy warmth is quick to replace it. “Thank you. I had no idea.”
Benedict studies the shoreline. He doesn’t respond.
Like he’s avoiding something.
Felix’s note suddenly returns to my memory. Good news: We found new, clean bedsheets in the laundry room!
My logic points me toward a preposterous conclusion, but my logic is also very rarely wrong. “You cleaned everything,” I say slowly. “Does that include our bedsheets?”
Benedict shoves his hands deeper into his slacks pockets, his posture shrinking more in his windbreaker. “Yes.”
“The bedsheets Felix found in the laundry room. Those were just ours. Weren’t they?”
“It’s possible.”
“You said Cabin Gamma took those.”
“Jade asked if I saw anyone suspicious,” Benedict clarifies. “I stated that Cabin Gamma was the last to leave. My words were misconstrued. I merely didn’t correct her.”
“Why not?”
“Because Luca was no longer the hero.”
I’m unsure what answer I expected from someone as complicated as Benedict, but this one makes my brain whir like it’s shutting down.
“I’m surprised you cared about that,” I say.
Benedict shrugs. “It united us. Jade claims she doesn’t need the Medal of Victory because her parents sent her here on a whim, but I can tell she’s worried about her plans for the future.
This would help her. Christiana’s intelligence isn’t being valued as much as it should be by her father.
And you? And me? We all deserve this chance. ”
Technically, Benedict’s argument makes sense. But he’s still staring at the shoreline instead of me, and his posture is stiff. It doesn’t suit the boy I’ve come to know on this island, who’s exuded nothing but that frustrating certainty in himself.
“Rory?” a voice comes from behind us.
A familiar one, higher than average, cracking just a bit.
Luca, who’s standing before me now, holding a blue raspberry slushy. Two others stand behind him. Cindy and Samuel, I think. I can barely register them when Luca is wearing a ribbed tank top, revealing his shoulders and arms more than ever before.
And they’re toned. Very toned.
An overwhelming combination of nerves and heat torrents through me. It’s only been one day since I last saw him in Dr. Gupta’s lab, but I didn’t realize how much I feared I wouldn’t run into him tonight until now.
Luca scrutinizes my jacket next. His jacket. I guess my plan worked. “I was going to ask if you wanted to sit together. For the fireworks.”
I must have misheard him. He’s been ignoring me all week. Why would he want to spend time with me now?
“Rory and I already have plans, unfortunately,” Benedict says abruptly.
I tense at how low his voice has suddenly fallen. It’s a tone I’ve never heard from him, even when the two of us argued. Direct, almost dark.
Luca is miraculously still smiling despite the obvious hostility. But after getting to know him, I can tell this isn’t the same as the smiles he gives me. It’s tighter and much more forced. “Then I’ll leave you two—”
“Wait,” I say, stepping forward to grab on to Luca’s bare forearm. His skin is warm, almost hot, and my throat goes dry.
Finally, a playful, familiar grin pulls at Luca’s lips. A real one, replacing the intruder. As if he can read my mind. “Can I help you?”
What the fuck.
It takes me a beat to realize I even thought it against Mom’s wishes, and another to realize I don’t care.
My face flushes, enough to know I’m turning red. I try to cover up my face by pulling the brim of my baseball cap lower. “We can all sit together,” I propose, looking to Benedict.
Benedict’s jaw just tightens.
“There they are,” Jade calls from farther down the promenade, walking hand in hand with Christiana. Usually, that would signal that a couple is together. With those two, though, I hesitate to officially call it.
The moment the two approach our circle, Jade seizes the conversation by sharing which s’mores stations are worth it and which ones should burn in hell. Meanwhile, Christiana sends a sharp look between me and Luca.
After the conversation we had earlier this week, the reason why is obvious.
“Can I talk to you?” she whispers so no one else hears us, stepping away from Jade. “Before you go with Luca?”
“Now?” I ask.
“Yes.”
I glance at Luca, unsure how to convey how much I’ve been waiting for this moment to talk with him privately without being too obvious. “I’m sorry, but—”
She grabs my wrist, her narrowed expression turning sterner. “You need to tell the truth.”
Whether Christiana is referring to his burned-down cabin or my previous plan to break his heart, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s both.
My heart crumples under the weight of how many strikes are against me. Really, I want to tell Luca the truth. All of it. But he would be so hurt. And he would never forgive me. It’s better for him, and for me, if I get through this one last conversation with him and then put us in the past.
I want to tell Christiana this. Explain that this is the last small way I’m trying to make amends before I leave Luca alone forever. But doing so may cause a scene.
Instead, I look down. I don’t respond to her.
Christiana sighs at me. She grabs Benedict’s and Jade’s attention, and she leads them to the shoreline without me.
As they leave, Benedict turns back toward me like he’s about to say something. But then he glances between me and Luca and keeps walking.
“I have a secret planned for us,” Luca says, the glow of the lampposts making his brown eyes shimmer in the dark. Samuel and Cindy are gone now, too. I’m not sure where they went.
My heart skips a beat. Planned.
He thought about this.
About me.
“Lead the way,” I say, determined to make this last night with Luca count.