Chapter 7
RAELYNN
It had been several days since Butch had found Raelynn.
She had been in the same room the whole time.
He would bring her food three times a day and stay with her, only to disappear for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
He had told her he was talking to Deccan, the president of the Springfield Sinners, and some of the other members, to figure out who was after her since she still wouldn’t tell him.
Doc’s friend had just been to look at her ears and determine the damage to them. Rae still didn’t know whether she should get anything to help them when Edmund was still after her. She didn’t want to waste Butch’s money if Edmund wasn’t going to let her keep anything.
How are you feeling? Butch wrote.
He had stayed with her the whole time the doctor was here. Not that she would let his hand go to allow him to leave. She was in a new place with people she didn’t know, besides Butch.
Rae knew he would keep her safe, no matter what. He always would.
She shrugged. “Hungry?”
Her appetite had returned after several days of eating soft, light food. She wanted to sink her teeth into a juicy burger. To taste the meat, cheese, and condiments in one bite.
Butch cracked a smile. We’ll get you food in a second, but I want to talk about how you’re feeling about everything else. Your IV has been out for a couple of days. The doctor has given me some suggestions on what would be best for you.
Oh, he was talking about that. Which Rae knew, of course, but she was trying to avoid this conversation as much as possible. Her head was swimming with all the information he had given her.
Was it going to end up being just a waste of time, or would she have them for a long time and end up being happy?
She had no answers to any of the questions running through her head.
Butch kept gazing at her, waiting for her to answer. She closed her eyes, but once she felt his hands cupping her face, she knew it was over. He was going to give her a tender look, and Rae was going to melt into his embrace and give him an answer.
“I want it, but I don’t want it,” she whispered. “I feel fine. I just want things to go back to what they used to be. I want to forget the past eight years and pretend nothing happened to me. I don’t want Ed—”
Rae’s eyes went wide, and she stared at Butch. She had gotten so close to telling him who was after her. If he knew who he was, would Butch take his side?
Ed? What’s the rest? What is his name?
She shook her head.
Tell me. Butch wrote and then signed.
He had been doing a lot of that in the past several days. He wanted her to start learning sign language, so if she ever didn’t have a hearing device, she would have a way to communicate.
“It was nothing,” she replied.
He gave her a pointed look and started to write, but she took the whiteboard out of his hand and shook her head, fed up with everything.
Butch calmly looked at her.
“I’m sick of this. I’m sick of not being able to have a normal conversation with you.
I’m tired of you having to write on the whiteboard to communicate with me.
” Rae raised her voice, letting the frustration pile out.
“I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to be worried that something is going to happen to you or your people.
I just want him dead, so I don’t have to worry about anything.
I want my hearing back, so I can be normal.
I just want to be a normal person with nothing wrong with me, but I’m broken beyond repair, and I don’t know what to do! ”
Rae was breathing heavily at the end of her rant, but she felt better, lighter in a way. Butch signed the word for done, and she opened her mouth. Was she done?
“Yes,” she said, shoulders slumping.
Butch took back the whiteboard and started writing, and the frustration started to grow once again.
I know you want things to go back to normal, and I’m sorry that they can’t, but we can try and make it as normal as possible. We can make your life a little better by getting you some aids to help you hear, and you can learn sign language more.
Rae opened her mouth, but Daddy shook his head. Butch. She meant Butch, but he was starting to act like her Daddy once again.
If you want him dead, you tell us his name, and we’ll go after him. We’ll make him pay so he can’t harm you any longer. You just need to give us a name.
“You won’t believe me if I told you,” she whispered as he started to write again.
And you aren’t broken. You might have some wounds, but we’ll get them patched up. Things are going to look a little different, but you aren’t broken. You just need some extra love and care right now, and that’s what I’m going to give you.
“But I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve anything.”
You deserve it and a lot more, and I’m going to make sure you get it. Now, can you tell me his name?
Rae shook her head. “Dangerous. I don’t want any of you guys hurt.”
Butch sighed, and the guilt festered inside of her. She wanted to tell him so badly so he could take care of it… Take care of her, but she didn’t want him to get hurt.
Edmund was a nasty person with many connections in their town. She didn’t want Butch to find out, and his relationship with his father turn bad. She didn’t want to be the cause of it.
Tell me his name.
“You won’t believe me,” she whispered.
I believe you. I know you wouldn’t falsely accuse someone of anything. Tell me his name, and I’ll believe you.
Tears ran down her face as she covered it with her hands. Rae shook her head again and cried into her hands. While she might be his stepsister and the person he loved, there were some relationships that trumped those, and this was one of them.
Butch gently patted her back, and she looked at him. He smiled sadly as they looked at each other. Rae never got bored with looking at Butch, and she didn’t think she ever would. He was gorgeous, spectacular, manly, and everything she wanted in a guy.
He turned the whiteboard around. It’s okay. You’ll tell me when you believe that I’ll be taking your side, no matter what. I’ll just have to show you that you mean the world to me still, and nothing else matters, no other relationship I have with anyone.
Did he know who it was? No, he couldn’t. Just because he said no other relationship mattered didn’t mean he actually knew who had her this whole time.
Rae yawned and looked over at Butch.
Sleep. I’ll keep you safe.
Rae nestled into her blankets and held out her pinky, wanting some contact with Butch.
She needed it to sleep. She used to be able to get a little sleep before she came to Springfield, but ever since Butch held her and she fell asleep, she hasn’t been able to without him.
Rae had tried whenever he was out talking to Deccan, and no matter how exhausted she was, she could never actually fall asleep.
Butch grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze, letting her know he was here for her.
Raelynn was staring at Doc and Butch. It hadn’t been long since she had woken up from her nap, and Daddy had made her eat. It was like clockwork; Daddy would always have food at least three times a day, making sure that she ate every single bite.
In the beginning, it didn’t bother Rae much, but as time went on, it was harder and harder to eat every single bite. It seemed like he had upped the food with each meal.
“You need to stop adding food to my plate,” Rae stated.
You have to eat more food to gain the weight that you’ve lost. So you need to eat more, which is why I’ve put more food on your plate than before, but I will decrease it a little. Butch wrote.
Rae nodded and looked over at Doc, tilting her head to the side. He had been in the room for several minutes, but hadn’t written or uttered a single word to either of them.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
I want to talk about your ears and what you want to do. The suggested device is a cochlear implant. You will have to undergo surgery and wait two to six weeks before you will be able to hear anything.
Her heart rate slowly picked up as she thought about having a medical procedure. What if there was a complication and it made it worse instead of better?
I know the thought of it is scary, but everyone is here for you. We won’t let anything bad happen to you. But if you want it, he has an opening tomorrow for this surgery that he’s willing to hold for you.
Rae immediately looked at Butch to see his expression. He gave her an encouraging smile, but she didn’t know what to do. It was her body, so she needed to make the choice, but right now she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to bear the consequences if she chose to get it and everything went to shit.
Talk to us. Tell us what you’re thinking. Butch wrote.
Raelynn took a deep breath and locked eyes with Butch.
“I want to do this, but at the same time I don’t.
I know there are always complications, and I don’t want to be the percentage where something goes wrong.
I don’t want to get it, and then him find me.
I don’t want to make a choice. But I know I have to because it’s my body, and nobody else can decide for me.
But it’s hard when I’m so exhausted and just want to lie in bed and do nothing. Not eat, drink, sleep, or do anything.”
She knew how bad it sounded. Maybe she was a little depressed or in one of her special moods. But either way, panic flew across both their faces as she spoke, and she knew she was a little too truthful this time.
“But I’m okay. I guess I should do this. If he ever does find me, I’ll just have to deal with the consequences.” She spoke again, gaining their attention.
We’re talking about this later. It’s not good to hold all these feelings in and not tell anybody about them. Butch wrote and gave her a pointed look.
Yeah, she knew she wasn’t going to get out of this conversation. In high school, Butch was very conscious about mental health and its importance, and she knew it hadn’t changed one bit.
I’ll tell my friend that you want the slot. No eating after midnight, and no drinking either. I’ll text Butch with the surgery time and when you need to be there. Doc wrote and showed her.
She nodded and wrung her hands together as the nerves took over. She was actually going through with this, and she didn’t know how to feel.
I would also suggest taking a shower tonight and washing your hair because it might be difficult to get it clean with the incision.
But I don’t want you taking a warm shower on your own.
Either have him help you in a bath or in a shower, but you are not to be on your own, with how dizzy you’re still getting.
“How did you know I was getting dizzy?” she asked.
Doc cracked a smile. Your Daddy is very good at observing you and figuring out what’s wrong.
“How did you know?” She turned to Butch as Doc walked out of the room. “He’s also not my Daddy.”
Yet, but she desperately wanted him to be. Rae didn’t know whether she wanted to commit to being in a relationship with him when she didn’t know whether he was going to get hurt because of her.
Soon. Soon you’re going to call me Daddy again, and you’ll be my Little Fairy. But I’ll patiently wait for you, no matter how long it takes.
Her cheeks turned pink. It was so tempting to call him Daddy right now, but she knew that once she did out loud, everything would change.
“How did you know I was dizzy?” she asked once again, ignoring everything he just wrote.
Because I know you. I know your symptoms and tics when you get nauseous or you’re dizzy or you’re too hot or too cold. I. Know. You. He wrote.
Rae opened and closed her mouth several times as he started to write on the whiteboard again.
I know that you were going to try to hide the fact that you were dizzy, but I wasn’t going to let you get away with it. You are far too important to me not to notice these small things.
“I… I don’t want to talk anymore,” she whispered, looking away from him. Rae could faintly hear him chuckling, and it was music to her ears.