34. Harlow
Harlow
“Can I give you a lift home?” Jude’s voice startled me as I stared out of the window next to my desk. He chuckled, placing a hand on my shoulder. “It’s just me.”
“Sorry, I was daydreaming.”
“Do you want to get out of here?”
Things between us had felt effortless since we’d left Ravensby Farm. There was no awkwardness, no avoiding, just Jude’s easy smile and my own mushy feelings. I hadn’t even felt embarrassed about them yet.
“I can’t,” I replied with a pout.
Although I wished I could escape home with him, chatting the entire car ride, then having him kiss me on the porch until I was boneless again, I was already booked.
“Ah, is it the Sweater Weather group? I can walk you up Main Street.”
I nodded. “But Kasey said the weather’s too nice to be stuck inside today. We’re meeting in the park.” I looked to my left, peering out to the green and orange foliage which surrounded the Town Hall.
“Have fun, sweetheart.” Without any hesitation he braced his arms on my desk and leaned down, pressing his lips against mine.
It was chaste, but left me wanting so much more.
Although, I was glad none of our co-workers were around to see it.
I didn’t want to explain when we hadn’t even discussed what we were yet. “I’ll see you at home.”
Home.
I watched him walk away, thinking about how only a few weeks ago just the sight of him filled me with frustration. Well, it still did, but now just a different kind.
It was just past five o’clock, and I killed some time putting together some clips in my editing app to make a video for Instagram.
Although it was technically work, it barely felt like it.
I felt such a sense of satisfaction at seeing it all come together.
The pumpkin patch, Jude walking ahead of me in the cornfield, the fiery leaves.
I cut the clips to a trending song, before starting to pack up.
It wasn’t a bad way to wait around until our last meeting before the festival started.
I snuck another look out the window to where I’d be meeting Kasey.
We had a nice routine going. We’d caught up while setting up for the meeting and I didn’t want that ritual to end after the festival had passed.
Maybe our get-togethers could grow into something long term. That was, if I could be long term, too.
Suddenly, my idling computer dinged, lighting up the screen and interrupting my thoughts. My eyes caught on a fresh email in my inbox.
Opportunity at Power PR
From: [email protected]
To: harlow.spencer@
Hi Harlow,
I hope you are doing well and enjoying life in Ottawa. I just wanted to reach out about an opportunity that’s come up at my company. One of our senior account managers is moving from Power PR to an agency in the States, so their role will be opening up.
I know you just moved, but our hiring manager saw the campaign you did with Iffy Beauty, and when I mentioned that we used to work together in London, the coincidence was too perfect. She’d love to talk to you about joining us at Power!
The salary is very competitive and our office in downtown Vancouver is a dream. Let me know if you’d be interested and I can send over the details!
Hopefully I’ll be seeing you in Vancouver soon!
Regards,
Sophie Hanner
Communications Director
Power PR
My skin felt cold as I read the email again. Sophie and I had been friendly work acquaintances and she’d moved from London to Vancouver a few months before I left for Ottawa. Of course, that meant she didn’t know what had happened since I’d moved here.
The offer from Power was shiny and alluring, it was the kind of thing I would have jumped on a few weeks ago.
It held prestige and was a clear signal that I was moving up in the world.
It would have been perfect. I could have finished my contract here and moved over to Vancouver with a position already secured—something full time and lucrative.
It sounded like the choice I should make.
But I’d been chasing professional achievements for years, putting my personal life on the back burner. That had left me feeling empty. Now I realized how big of a hole I had left in my heart.
And I had an offer in Autumn Creek—it was the security and seniority I wanted. I should politely respond to Sophie’s email and tell her thanks, but no thanks, wishing her all the best. I reached for my keyboard and started typing.
But, a voice in my mind yelled. What if the festival doesn’t turn out like you think it will? What if your place in Autumn Creek isn’t secure?
I gulped, staring at the screen. If that did happen, then I should take this opportunity. Right?
If the festival didn’t do as well as everyone thought it might, I’d be working part time, hoping for another opportunity to land in my lap.
Sophie had only asked if I was interested. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.
I hadn’t told my parents or grandma that I was considering staying in this small Ottawa Valley town, and no one—besides maybe the people here—assumed that I would.
So I quickly typed out a reply before I could overthink it.
RE: Opportunity at Power PR
From: harlow.spencer@
Hi Sophie,
It’s great to hear from you! Thank you so much for reaching out to me about this opportunity. I would love to have a look at the details for this role. Please feel free to send them over.
Kind regards,
Harlow Spencer
Sent.
A shiver ran over me as I logged out of my computer and took a shaky breath. I don’t want to leave Autumn Creek. I kept repeating that to myself as I locked up the Town Hall and exited into the park.
But this was just the responsible thing to do. I was setting myself up with options.
I shouldn’t step back into a part-time role. And I had nothing to keep me here. At least, nothing certain. I wasn’t exactly going to live in Jude’s spare room forever, was I?
Jude.
What would he think?
But I reminded myself that no one had any loyalties to me. In a second I could be left wandering alone again. Drifting. Like I always had been.
Someone grabbed my shoulder just as I felt like I was about to puke into the chrysanthemum flower bed.
“You all right?”
I looked up at a pair of concerned, sage green eyes.
“Yeah,” I lied. But I was glad Kasey interrupted my spiraling. “Just thinking about the festival. Worrying, I guess.”
It was a half truth.
She nodded. “Let’s sit down. I have some drinks! Do you want a pumpkin hot chocolate?”
My eyes lit up for a second as we walked over to a wooden picnic table by the gazebo, which sat in the centre of the park. Kasey poured a steaming drink from her insulated pitcher and handed it to me.
“Thanks.”
She shot me a warm smile. “I seriously don’t know one person who isn’t excited about your Harvest Festival. You don’t need to worry!”
I hated the fact that I’d lied to her. But the least I could do was be honest about why the festival was weighing on me. It was Kasey, after all, the person I’d cried to during my breakup when she was still a stranger and who had given me a place to stay.
“I didn’t get a chance to tell you yet, I might be able to keep my job here. But only if the festival goes well.”
With this new offer, it had to be a full-time role or nothing.
Kasey gasped. “That’s amazing! I get why you’re worried, but that’s a good thing.”
I nodded, and we chatted some more, even if I wasn’t fully present.
My mind was busy running circles around itself.
Everyone was excited, but that was half the problem.
I couldn’t trust myself to live up to their expectations.
That email had reignited the anxiety that was constantly on the perimeter of my mind.
I had gotten too confident.
If I failed, it wouldn’t be just KPIs and analytics that would be down, it was people’s livelihoods and small businesses I was impacting. I knew these people personally and they had put their trust in me.
I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off.
“Do you need some liquor in that hot chocolate? You’re spacing out again.”
My eyes snapped back to Kasey’s.
Her gaze softened. “You know, if something did go wrong—which it won’t—I’d give you a job at Sweater Weather any day.”
My eyes welled up. She didn’t have to do that, but that was just the kind of person Kasey James-Bramley was. I was lucky to be her friend, and I was lucky to have met her and everyone else in Autumn Creek. God, all the Bramleys had broken down my walls and made me so soft.
“Thanks, Kase.” I pulled her in for a tight hug.
I didn’t want to hash out the details now, but if I needed to, I could survive with two part-time jobs here in Autumn Creek. It wasn’t the step I wanted, but I would at least get to stay. It wasn’t perfect but the offer opened up my options a little.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw other people starting to arrive. “I’m just going to put a post up, then I’ll be right back.”
I needed a second to pull myself together and I didn’t want to get soppy in front of everyone. Somehow I knew they’d be too comforting and understanding, it would make me melt into the grass.
I walked over to where the park met the Valleyford River.
The sound of the rushing water calmed me while I quickly pulled out my phone.
I could really wait till tomorrow to post, but I wanted a distraction.
I clicked a button and sent out the video of Jude and me at Ravensby Farm.
The sight of him standing by the pumpkin house on my screen made my heart sink as I walked back to the group.
I’d finally found somewhere and someone that felt like home. It hurt so much to think about letting it go.
As I wandered back to the group, I was quickly surrounded by familiar faces. The evening passed by in a bit of a blur. I caught glimpses of conversations—Payton talking about her favourite new book releases, and Whitney discussing a pickled onion recipe to go with her chili.
At some point, Yuri turned to me. “Do you need to get that?”
“Oh.” I hadn’t even realized my phone was buzzing. I hesitated but finally opened the device. “I—uh. It’s not a phone call.”
But it also wasn’t Sophie or Power, like I had thought it might be. Instead, my Instagram notifications were a frantic blur on the screen.
New comments, likes, DMs. All from the Autumn Creek account.
I cleared my wall and put my phone on Do Not Disturb. That could be a topic for tomorrow. But right now I didn’t want to add anything else to my list of things to think about.