Chapter 30 #2
“I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you,” my voice is ragged and broken and dripping with protectiveness. “You’re alright. I’ve got you.”
A sound appears, vibrating through my chest. A steady rumbling that won’t stop. Not a growl or a moan or—
A purr.
I’m purring. I’ve never purred in my entire fucking life. Not for family, not for an Omega, not for anyone.
Yet standing here under the swaying leaves of a White Oak with the wind flowing through my Mate’s beautiful hair, her scent surrounding me, filling every broken part of me, for the first time I feel the sound rattle to life in my chest.
It’s a sound meant to soothe and comfort.
An Alpha’s innate response to his Omega’s distress.
Idril’s hands grasp onto my shirt with a strength belying her shaking limbs and refuse to go.
She’s sobbing openly now. Each gasping, broken whimper reaches into my chest and rips apart another piece of my heart.
My instincts are roaring at me, begging me to do something, anything to help.
Comfort her. Protect her. Keep her safe.
“You’re real,” she cries. “You’re real.”
“That’s right. I’m real. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I don’t know what I’m saying; random words are tumbling from my mouth as I try to comfort her any way I can.
My hands won’t stay still. They’re in her hair, on her back, running up her ribs and shoulders, and down her arms. Anywhere and everywhere I can touch her, I do. I just need to feel her. Need to know that she’s solid and real.
This isn’t how I imagined this going. In all the endless hours I’ve spent imagining our reunion with, I never thought she’d be falling apart in my arms like she’s barely tethered to the world.
Something is seriously fucking wrong.
I’ve only held her twice before, once in her room and once in the foyer of that house of nightmares, but I remember each moment in excruciating detail. How she felt against me, how soft her skin was, what her hair smelled like, the way each warm, stuttering puff of breath felt against my cheek.
I know exactly how she fits against me. The feel of her waist under my palms, the silken touch of her hair between my fingers, the weight of her head on my shoulder. Delicate, yes, but fierce. So fucking fierce.
Not… not like this.
I run shaking fingers up her back, and realize with growing horror that I can count each vertebra in her spine. Sharp ridges press against skin that is far too thin and fragile, like tissue paper stretched over bone.
My hands snake into her hair. Where there were once silken soft waves, now my fingers meet with tangles strands falling out of a partially unraveled braid.
What has her father done to her?
I crouch down and gently coax her back, hoping to get a better look at her face.
“No, please,” she gasps, tightening her hold around me. “Don’t let go.”
Her hands are red, chapped, white-knuckled fingers twisted in my shirt.
“Never,” I swear fiercely. “I’ll never let you go.”
And I won’t. Never. Fates, if it’ll make her happy, I’ll sew a fucking pocket on the front of my shirt and carry her in it.
“Idril,” I whisper, cradling her head in my hands, gently brushing away her tears with my thumbs. I’ve done this far too often in the short time we’ve been together. Once I mark and Mate her—which will be as soon as I fucking can—this shit ends.
She’ll never cry tears of heartache again. Not if I have anything to say about it.
“Sweetheart,” I murmur, trying to keep my voice soothing, when in reality I’m having a hell of a time keeping my anger from bleeding through.
“Take a breath for me, yeah?” I inhale deeply, prompting her to mimic me. It works.
“That’s it,” I praise. “Good girl.”
I keep swiping my thumbs over the tops of her too-sharp cheekbones, grounding her with my touch. Little by little, she calms enough to take a full breath.
I gather Idril in my arms and retreat to the tree, lowering myself to the soft ground. She’s so fucking light it breaks my heart.
I cradle her in my lap, pressing her cheek against my chest.
She curls into me, tucking herself as close as physically possible. My purr grows louder.
“Are you sure you’re real?” She whispers tentatively.
I bury my nose in her hair and breathe her in, feeling the sting of tears behind my eyes.
“Yeah, sweet girl. I’m real. I don’t know where we are, but I know I’m real. And you’re real. That’s enough for now.”
I feel her nod, and for a few moments, we just sit here, not daring to move or disrupt this small pocket of peace around us. The world could burn down, and I’d gladly sit right here, holding my Mate.
What I need now is information. I have to figure out where she is and who she’s with. If I’m going to go straight to her—and I fucking am—I need names and locations. Anything she can tell me that’ll help us get to her quickly.
The sooner we find her, the sooner I can begin helping her heal.
The moment I’m strong enough to claw my soul back into my body, I plan on burning her father alive for how he’s treated her.
I lean back, just far enough to catch her eye. “I need you to tell me where you are, sweetheart,” I whisper, afraid of breaking the peace of this moment. “Not here. Out there,” I clarify.
My arms tighten, the panic I’ve tried to keep buried finally breaking through. “I need you to try and remember everything you can. Who’s with you, what you’ve seen. So when I wake up, I can find you.”
I rub my cheek against hers, scent-mark her, reminding myself that I found her once, and I’ll stop at fucking nothing to find her again.
“I’m going to come for you.” My voice is lethal, a vow dripping in anger I can no longer contain. “My brothers and I will find you, and we will ruin your father. I will bury the memory of that bastard so deep beneath my love for you, you won’t even remember his fucking name.”
My Alpha is right at the surface, demanding vengeance for his Mate.
I don’t hide my anger or thirst for revenge.
Every cell in my body is vibrating, full of pissed-off Alpha and blood-thirsty vampire energy.
Her father obviously came back for her, which means my pack didn’t find her before carting me out of that fucking house.
And now look at her.
When I meet her eyes, what I see in them brings my spiraling thoughts to a halt. They’re swimming with confusion.
“I’m not…” she hesitates, a little wrinkle forming between her blonde brows.
“You’re not what, sweet girl?”
“Caelan,” she murmurs. And gods, I nearly groan. My name on her lips is my favorite song.
She twists until she’s facing me, straddling my hips. Her hands shake as she lays her palms on either side of my face, swiping her thumbs softly against my stubble. I swear my heart stops.
A tiny smile pulls at her lips, but it’s all wrong. There’s no joy. Only longing and sadness.
“I’m at your castle.”
I frown. “My castle?”
She bites her lip, her eyes falling to the soft grass surrounding us. “I heard Daxen and some others call it HQ. Is that right?”
Everything stops. Then relief slams into me punching the air out of my lungs.
I swear to the Fates I’m lightheaded.
“They found you.” I breathe, cradling her hands in mine, bringing them to my chest. “Oh, thank fuck, I thought your father came back. Or decided to take you with him. I tried to tell them that you were upstairs.”
I have to pause to swallow down the lump of fear in my throat. “You were right fucking there, Idril. And I couldn’t talk. Couldn’t tell them.”
The words just keep falling out, running into each other, frantic and full of residual fear and an overwhelming gratitude for my pack.
“Dax and Vae showed up right before I passed out. Does that mean one of the others found you?”
Fuck, please just put me out of my misery and tell me what happened. Make me stop talking.
“Yes,” she swallows thickly, and her voice is so soft I have to strain to hear her. “Gavran and Silas found me, and brought me to your home.”
Idril’s expression is strained. Like she’s trying to smile, but her face forgot how. This is…
Something isn’t right. Something still isn’t right. I’m fucking missing something.
She’s not looking at me, now. Her eyes bore into the grass, lashes casting shadows that fan across her cheekbones. I tip her chin up gently, silently begging her to look me in the eyes, but she pulls back.
“Idril,” I hedge, fear starting to override my confusion. “What aren’t you telling me?”
That soft, sad smile reappears. More tears fill her eyes and spill over.
“Nothing.” She says, then clears her throat and finally meets my eyes. “They have you in a coma so that you can heal faster,” she winces. “At least, that’s what I’ve heard. Everyone has been—” Her voice cracks. My hands tighten around hers involuntarily. “Everyone has been very worried about you.”
I shake my head. Dread coils in my stomach, then winds its way up my chest like smoke, until it fills my head. No. This isn’t right.
I can feel it. Not just in my gut, but in our Bond.
She isn’t lying to me, but she’s not telling me the truth, either.
“Sweetheart,” I lean forward, press my forehead to hers. “Tell me, please. Tell me what you’re holding back.”
She bites her bottom lip, but her chin is trembling, like she’s trying not to sob.
My brave girl. Doesn’t she know I’d take on anything for her?
“They think—” she sniffs, lifting her shoulder to wipe away tears on her cheeks. I still have her hands in mine, and I refuse to let go.
Not now. Not ever.
“They think I set you up.”
The words don’t make sense at first. My brain refuses to process them. Refuses to believe they’re real. When they finally penetrate, something inside of me tears open, the pain worse than any silver could ever be.
I know my brothers. Dax was already suspicious of her. He made no secret of his opinions. And why wouldn’t he believe Idril was somehow involved? Especially after the shit her father said.
Dax’s words come back to me, now. A legitimate threat. A godsdamned vow.