Chapter 30 #3
“If you’re wrong, then I’ll kill the girl myself. Because you’re my brother… and there’s nothing I won’t do for you.”
No. Oh gods… no.
“Your friends. All of them, they…” she trails off, glancing down at our hands like she can’t handle seeing my reaction.
I tighten my grip and wait for her to continue. The truth is, I’m trying not to throw up. I know what she’s going to say; I know how my brothers deal with traitors.
“They think I lured you in so my father could take you.”
She finally looks up, and the pain in her eyes fucking ruins me.
“I’m not a guest, Caelan. I’m their prisoner.”
The world shifts under my feet. I shake my head, denying it before she’s even finished speaking. Denying it, even when I know it’s the truth.
No. No, no no—
“No. They wouldn’t do that. They couldn’t… they—they wouldn’t.”
Wouldn’t they?
Even as I deny it, I know I’m lying to myself.
Of course they would. They’re my brothers. My pack. I know them better than I know myself. Dax has been suspicious of Idril from the first night, and Vae—
Vae’s too scared of fucking up to make his own decisions. Without me there to dispute anything, he’ll follow Dax’s lead in all of it. And if Dax thinks she did something… if he believes she’s guilty…
“But—they would know who you were,” I ramble, my breath coming short and fast between the denials tumbling out.
Idril and I are Scent Matched. When an Alpha is Scent Matched to an Omega, the rest of the pack is as well. Every single time.
Except—
They don’t know we’re Scent Matched. Because of the fucking suppressants her father has her on.
Worse, Idril doesn’t even know we’re Scent Matched. I scented her, but she never scented me.
So while they’re treating her like the enemy, their bodies and instincts should be screaming that she’s pack. Their Alphas should be losing it, fighting against them, desperate to protect and love her.
But that isn’t happening because—because—
Idril’s side of the Scent Match Bond with me doesn’t exist.
Dax and Vae probably still have her on suppressants. Dax won’t let her walk around with her Omega Perfume, ‘manipulating’ him. And whatever this Bond is that manifests as a Silver thread—we have no idea what it even is.
This is a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
“None of this makes any sense,” I mutter, my head spinning. I cup her shoulders in my palms. She feels like she’s one loud shout away from breaking.
What the hell are my brothers doing to her?
I know her father never cared for her. He stole her comforts, her food, her life. I could have helped her heal from his abuse. I planned on doing just that.
I would have spent months, if that’s what it took, rebuilding every bit of her that he tore down.
There used to be an innocence to her. Even through the nightmare of that night, there was still a soft thread of hope in those blue eyes.
Now, that hope is gone.
Someone stole it from her. Made her feel like she couldn’t even fight for it.
And it wasn’t her father. It was my fucking family.
“Tell me,” I demand. “Tell me what’s happening.”
She shakes her head, and I want to scream. “I’ll be fine, I just need you to get better, okay? I already feel better knowing—” her mouth snaps shut, eyes rounding in panic.
“Finish that sentence, Idril.” I swallow thickly. “Please.”
She searches my eyes, looking for something. She must find it, because her entire body deflates.
“I was afraid you’d wake up and tell them I was lying. I keep trying to tell them about the Bond, but they don’t believe me. I’ve been so afraid. So scared that you’d tell them there was no Bond, or that I was making it up.”
She shakes her head ruefully, strands of silver hair dancing around her face, tugged loose by the wind.
Oh, baby, no.
I pull her closer.
“I thought if I could just make it until you got better, then when you woke up, everything would be alright. You’d explain it to them. Tell them the truth. Fix it.”
She looks up, and the devastation in her eyes breaks something inside of me. I feel it shift, making room for her pain. Craving vengeance for its Mate.
“They’re cruel, Caelan. Daxen and Vaelenor especially.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. “They hate me. I’m pretty sure if one of them lit me on fire, Daxen would stand by and happily watch me burn.”
She laughs, but the sound is self-deprecating and ends on a sob.
This isn’t a misunderstanding. This is a fucking nightmare.
A disaster.
And at this moment, I fucking hate my pack. I hate them for making my poor girl—who is good and kind and sweet and still manages to hope even after the hell she’s been through—feel like… this.
“Silas is…” she hesitates. “He’s… a lot. He’s no meaner than the others, but he’s no kinder, either. He watches them and laughs.” Her eyes are unfocused and glassy now, like she’s watching something I can’t see. Every word is a bullet to my chest.
“Cage is the worst, though.”
“Cage?” I recoil, feeling like someone just sucker punched me. “Why the fuck are you around that psychopath?”
She just shrugs, like it’s of no importance. Like the most honorable males I know, forcing her to spend time with a fucking sadist was just… fine. Acceptable, even.
“Vaelenor said he was guarding me, but Cage doesn’t guard me. He likes to hurt me.” Her voice is small.
And all I see is red.
My body vibrates like a live wire: my gums throb, fangs mere seconds from dropping. I’m lightheaded, heat crawling up my neck, burning my face.
“What do you mean?” I demand. My voice is a guttural snarl that barely sounds human. “How does Cage hurt you?”
Idril doesn’t answer. She reaches out and places a hand softly on my chest, right over my heart.
“Your heart is racing,” she whispers.
“I’m pissed,” I growl. “I’m trying very hard not to lose my cool because I don’t want to scare you. I’m trying very hard, Idril, not to fucking scream.”
She watches me, like she’s gauging my sincerity. Like she’s taking the time to be sure I’m still safe.
Because my brothers have hurt her and allowed others to hurt her so often that she now needs to convince herself that her own Mate—the one male in the world who is supposed to protect her above all else—is a safe space.
Her eyes flit back and forth as she holds my gaze, reading every fine line, every truth.
I hold still, letting her see all of me. I’ll never hide from her, but the anger I feel toward my brothers makes me want to tear this entire realm into pieces with my bare hands.
Opening my side of our Bond, I let her feel everything I feel for her.
It’s intense—the way I can damn near bathe in her soul now that we’re together.
I can sense the life, and light, and love flowing freely through the Bond.
It’s like being rejuvenated. I don’t know how else to explain it.
The power cycling between us is like getting a hit of pure energy.
Whatever she feels from my side must be enough to convince her of my love because her body goes slack, and she leans her head against my chest.
The exhaustion in that gesture nearly breaks me. She folds into me like she’s been treading water for days and can finally relax now that she’s on dry land.
I have so many things I ache to know, but there’s a large part of me that just wants to sit with her. Hold her and feel the sun on our faces and watch the wind play in her hair.
I don’t want to push her. I don’t want to make her relive whatever bullshit she’s dealing with at HQ. I just want to hold her and wrap her in my love.
But I can’t. There’s only one way I can think of to make this better for her. I don’t want to do it. It’s not the way I’d choose for my Mate or my pack to find out, but if I don’t tell her and help her devise a plan to prove it to them, it’s going to get so much worse.
“Idril, I have to tell you—”
Idril jolts in my arms. Pain washes over her features. Her hand flies to her upper arm where she grips the flesh, and the blood drains from her face.
“What’s happening?” I demand, tightening my arms in an instinctive refusal to let her go.
“Lenora.” Her voice deflates, her eyes filling with resignation. “She’s injecting my suppressant, she—”
Her voice cuts out. I can see her lips moving, but there’s no sound.
“Idril! You’re Scent Matches! You and Dax and Vae!”
But it’s too late. She’s no longer looking at me. I reach for her, but my hands pass through empty air. There’s no weight on my lap, no heat of her skin on my fingertips. She’s just… gone.
“No.” My voice cracks with fury as I shoot to my feet, fists clenched by my sides. “No, fuck no! Idril!”
I spin, searching wildly, like she might spring up from behind one of the trees or something.
Fatesdamnit…! Had I thought this place beautiful? Fuck this place, it’s nothing without her here. Nothing.
“IDRIL!” My shout is so loud it shakes the branches above me. The missing birds reappear and scatter. They fly out of the trees and into the sky, cawing and crying out like even they’re shocked by their own existence.
How could this happen? I just got her back!
She’s gone. Gone, and I can’t do anything to get back to her. I don’t know if she’ll be able to get back to me, or how long it’ll be until I wake up. I don’t even know how we found each other in the first place!
I didn’t get a chance to tell her anything.
I wasted all that godsdamned time. I should have told her right away about the Scent Match. I should have told her I love her! I should have figured out a way to get a message to Dax and Vae, so they know that she’s ours.
I scoff. Not that it matters. Mate or not, no one deserves to be treated the way she’s been treated.
I’ll have every one of their fucking heads when I wake up. I’m going to ruin their lives.
The sun dims. No clouds are rolling in, but it doesn’t matter. Silence stretches, ominous and weighty. All I hear are my own panting breaths, full of fury.
I’m cracking apart at the seams. Splintering into a thousand little pieces without her. Knowing she’s hurt and I just…
I just lost her.
Again!
Fuck! It’s too much.
I slam my fist into the closest tree, and a roar of grief tears through me, ripping straight from the pit of my stomach. The sound is full of anger and longing, so feral I hardly believe it came from my body.
The White Oak we were resting against becomes the target for my fury.
I slam my fists into the wood, again and again, screaming my rage for the whole world to hear, sure I must be roaring my displeasure in my physical body as well.
But despite hitting the damned tree as hard as I can, nothing happens. No bark goes flying. The trunk doesn’t crack. Not even my skin splits open.
With a final shout of pain, I drop to my knees, slamming my fists into the earth. The sound echoes around me, unchallenged and unanswered.
Shocked, I realize I’m crying. I let the tears flow freely, carving paths of pain down my face. They fall off my chin and onto the earth, watering the grass with my agony.
I fight to catch my breath. Try to calm the hell down because this—losing my shit—isn’t helping anything. Idril needs me to be strong. If not for myself, then for her, and this shitty godsdamned position I somehow put her in.
When I open my eyes again, I have to blink to clear my sight. Then I have to blink again because—
There are… flowers.
Fates-damned flowers. Where there were none, sprouting between my hands. Beautiful blooms with velvet-dark petals, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The color is a deep purple, so dark it’s almost black, laced with veins of iridescent lavender, cobalt, and silver snaking their way through the bloom.
The stalks shimmer a deep, forest green. The leaves are darker still, edged with a muted silver light.
And they’re glowing.
I’ve never seen anything like it. They’re something from a dream, or a memory of a world I’ve never seen.
“…Idril.”
As her name falls from my lips, the flowers turn toward me. Their petals unfurl slowly, like her name is the sun. For just a moment, her Omega scent seems to radiate from the center of the blooms. I breathe it in, like it’s the air I need to live.
Please, I pray desperately. Please let me wake up. And let my brothers get their heads out of their asses before they ruin any chance they have of ever earning her forgiveness.
I’m suddenly exhausted. My limbs are too heavy, and my eyelids refuse to stay open. I drag myself back to the Oak and fall against the trunk.
There’s nothing to do but wait. Wait, and pray. And stew in the knowledge that I failed her. That the males I trusted to keep my Mate safe, have betrayed me.
Just as surely as they’ve betrayed our Omega.
Somewhere out there, in the real world, my body sleeps, and my Mate bleeds alone. When I think of what Idril’s going through, a new sense of purpose fills me. Hardens me.
Changes my DNA one atom at a time until finally, I’m able to take a full breath. Then, I start planning.
There’s one thing I know, with absolute, unshakeable certainty. When I wake up, I will destroy every one of my Bonds except the ones tying me to Idril. I’ll leave nothing behind but shattered loyalty and the smoldering remains of the pack I’ve called family for hundreds of years.
I smile at the thought.
They won’t even sense me coming. They’ll expect the male they knew. Their packmate. Their brother.
That male is dead.
I died the moment my gaze first locked with Idril’s, and was reborn in that fucking basement. With her blood on my skin, and the bitter scent of her pain filling my lungs.
I’m coming for them, but not as their brother. As a male with a purpose: delivering the justice she’s been denied her whole life. As a warrior who’s already chosen his side. As an Alpha ready to burn down the world to protect what’s his.
And gods help them.
Because I won’t.