Chapter 35 #2
My lungs seize up, my jaw tenses, and my fingers dig painfully into my thighs. I eye the soft blanket, my fingers itching to snatch it out of his hands. I want to wrap it around my body, rub it all over my face, and bask in the soft luxury.
Vae just stands there, though, holding it in front of him like he’s not currently dangling the very thing my instincts are screaming for.
My body coils tighter. I know this game. I’m aware of the rules. If I show him how desperately I want it, he’ll either withhold it or make me pay for it.
And gods, all you have to do is look at the man to know he normally gets anything he wants. He’s beautiful enough to be secure in the knowledge that any Omega would hand him whatever he wished for.
But… would he really ask me for that? I assume I repulse them, but maybe I’ve been naive in my assumptions. Maybe he hates me, but thinks he can overlook it because I’m an Omega and he’s an Alpha.
Maybe he expects it for the same reason.
Fates, what if this is a new punishment?
I saw the way he was looking at me earlier, but I convinced myself I was seeing things. Dismissed it.
There’s no way a male like Vaelenor would physically want a girl like me. He’s made it very clear he wouldn’t spit on me if I were on fire.
But maybe I really had seen that look of want in his eyes earlier.
Oh gods, why didn’t I consider this? Why didn’t I see this coming?
My breathing speeds up, and I slowly peel myself out of the ball I’m curled in and back up, refusing to take my eyes off him. He’s a predator, and I’m prey, and we both know it.
It’s just like at home with Father. He’s taunting me with something I desperately need, just waiting to see what I’m willing to give up for it. What I’m willing to do. What pieces of myself I’m willing to trade.
My Omega instincts scream at me to take it. To snatch it out of his hands and wrap myself in something warm and soft and safe for the first time in so, so long. I feel desperate. I don’t just want that blanket; my instincts are demanding it.
No.
I’d rather sleep on the cold stone floor for the rest of my life than give Vaelenor whatever he’s going to ask for in return. I can’t do that. I won’t.
“Here.” He extends the blanket, holding it between us with a small, expectant smile on his face.
“What do you want for it?”
His eyes widen in shock. He takes three giant strides in my direction, and I scramble back with an embarrassing squeak before I run out of room and hit the wall. My head slams against the stone, but I refuse to take my eyes off him.
I can’t.
He skids to a stop with only a few feet separating us. “Whoa! Easy. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
I brace for an attack. Prepare my legs to run if I need to. A thousand different scenarios race through my mind, each one more terrifying than the last.
Vaelenor lets out an exasperated sigh. “Omega. I’m not asking for anything in return.”
He crouches down, maybe to make himself seem less threatening, but more likely because the ceiling is slanted and he’s close to six and a half feet tall.
“I don’t want it,” I say, trying to make my voice strong. I pray he can’t hear the lie in my words.
There isn’t a lot I won’t do for that blanket, but doing that with this Alpha, no matter how gorgeous he is, is a line I refuse to cross.
“You do want it,” he argues, voice softening. “We both know you do. I’m not asking for anything from you in return.”
I nearly snort in disbelief. He can’t truly think I believe him.
I don’t trust anyone here except Caelan. Not Daxen or Silas. Not the elusive Gavran whose name is on everyone’s lips but has yet to appear in person. Definitely not Cage.
And not Vaelenor.
This is the same Alpha who watched Silas scream in my face when I first asked about Caelan. The same Alpha who stands by silently every time Daxen cuts me down.
He may not be as outwardly cruel, but in some ways, he’s worse. He’s a coward, hiding behind others’ cruelty, stepping in only when it costs him nothing.
“I don’t believe you.” My voice is barely a breath, but it seems to be enough to knock him back a step.
His fist tightens around the blanket, and I tense.
He exhales and loosens his grip. “I understand that you might not trust me, but you’re being ridiculous denying yourself something your instincts are demanding. You’ll only make things worse for yourself if you don’t take it.”
Worse for myself? How dare he act like any of this is my fault? Like, he doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I’m forced to sleep on the ground. Like, not having clothing that fits me properly is some kind of fluke rather than an act of deliberate callousness.
How dare he act like my instincts are rebelling because of something I’ve done?
My chest warms, burning hot with indignation. It seeps through my veins and into my limbs until I’m nearly shaking with anger.
My father. These Alphas. They’re all the same.
They hurt me, then blame me for making them do it.
“You.” My voice shakes, and I don’t even have time to reconsider what I’m saying before the words flow out of me.
“You stole me from my home. And yes, I hated it there. I was beaten, starved, and scared all the time, but you still stole me from the only home I’d ever known.
You brought me here, and you threw me in a cold room with nothing but that.
” I jab a finger at the worthless sleeping bag that serves as my nest, “and tell me I’m making it worse for myself because I don’t want whatever strings are going to come tied to the blanket you watched your friend rip away from me not four hours ago? ”
I scoff, disgusted. “Even prisoners get freaking blankets, Vaelenor. Even my father, as twisted and monstrous as he is, never kept bedding away from me for more than a few days.”
I kneel on shaky legs, knowing my knees aren’t going to hold me much longer. My bravery’s just about shot, but I manage to lift my chin and look him right in the eyes.
“Someday, you’re going to find out that I’ve never once lied to any of you.”
The anger thrums through me, old, impatient, and desperate to escape.
“And when that day comes, nothing you say, no lies you tell yourself to excuse it, will make any of what you’ve done to me acceptable.”
Vae stands there holding the blanket in his hands, mouth open and eyes wide.
Something I say must snap him out of whatever trance he’s in because his face almost seems to… soften.
I feel my breath catch in my throat. I’m expecting rage. I’m expecting him to lash out the way my father or Dax does.
I’m certainly not expecting him to look at me with eyes full of regret. He takes a single, small step forward and sets the blanket down between us like some kind of peace offering.
I’m breathing hard. Shaking. My anger is a living, breathing thing, but confusion begins to take over.
Vae gives me a small half smile and nods his head, almost like he’s acknowledging the truth of my words. It makes my head spin.
“We aren’t monsters, Idril. That’s not who we are. We protect people.” His tone is pleading.
I laugh. The sound rips out of my throat, and by the look on his face, it surprises him as much as it surprises me.
If this were Daxen, I would cower. But for some reason, with Vae, I stand my ground.
“We aren’t,” he insists firmly, hands fisted on his hips. “We don’t hurt people. Our entire goal is to protect innocents from the Severed. Protect them from people like your father.”
Severed.
The strange word slices through my anger, demanding my attention.
“What are the Severed?”
He glances over his shoulder, checking the door like he expects someone to be standing there listening to us. Verifying that it’s still firmly closed, he takes another hesitant step in my direction.
This Alpha is so confusing.
“They’re abominations,” he explains. “They used to be one of us. Vampires.”
He rakes his hands through his hair, causing it to stick up in a messy way that shouldn’t look so endearing.
”What—what happened to them?” Strangely, my anger has nearly faded in the face of his unexpected civility. I find myself leaning in, curiosity getting the better of me.
“They wanted more. More power. More riches. More everything.” He shuffles, hunched over, to the other side of the room and slides down the wall, leaning his back against the stone.
He shifts until he’s in a relaxed position, legs bent and hands dangling loosely between his knees.
“I shouldn’t be telling you this,” he mutters.
“You probably shouldn’t have brought me a blanket, either,” I reply.
That startles a laugh out of him. He grins, the dimples in his cheeks flashing and causing unwanted butterflies to flutter in my stomach.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He closes his eyes, resting his head against the wall. I stay silent, letting him decide what he wants to say.
“They believe themselves to be superior. To humans, to wolven, even to other vampires. But what they are is twisted. If you ever meet one, you can tell right away that there’s something wrong with them. It’s like seeing an animated corpse. Everything about it is just… off.”
My pulse starts to thump furiously as I listen to his description. Alexander’s pale, gaunt face and too-thin skin flash before my eyes.
Is that what he is? Is my father working with one of these Severed?
“How did they get that way?” I hope to the Fates he doesn’t hear the tremor in my voice.
”Black magic,” he answers with a grimace.
“Dark magic. They took what they already had and used unnatural ways to make it bigger, stronger, better. Whatever it is that’s inside of us, magic, or DNA, or whatever, it rebelled.
Twisted them into something fucked up. They have all the same instincts as normal Vampires but they’re changed. ”