Chapter 35 #3
He shakes his head. “Some are mindless. Sometimes the magic lashes out and turns them into nothing but primal instinct-driven beasts. Those are the soldiers. Fodder for their army. The ones who run things, who can still think, will send nests of them to ambush us. They lay in wait to try and take us down.”
Shifting, he crosses his arms and stretches his legs out in front of him. I listen raptly, curiousity about these Severed getting the best of me.
It makes so much more sense if that’s what Alexander is. I knew there was something wrong with him from the moment we met.
But what in the world is my father doing working with him?
“A few weeks ago, right before you arrived, Gav and I got ambushed in a warehouse. Damn near almost took us out because they’d figured out a way to mask themselves from Dax’s tech. He had no idea they were there. His sensors picked up nothing.”
“How’d you get out?” I shouldn’t care, but for some reason, I do.
No matter how often he and Daxen are cruel toward me, I feel a strange and unwelcome connection to them both. It has to be because of Caelan’s pack Bond. Or maybe I’m just an idiot who cares too much about people who don’t care about me. Some kind of fatal flaw in my DNA.
Terrible survival instincts, if that’s the case.
A strange flicker crosses Vae’s face, and he hesitates before answering. “Same as we always do. We fought our way out.”
I have the feeling he’s lying to me, or at least not telling me the whole truth, but I let it go.
He won’t tell me even if I push.
“So that’s what this place is, then? You’re all… what? An army of vampires who fight the bad vampires?”
”Something like that,” he answers, with a half smile.
“You protect people from the Severed.”
His head tilts to the side, and he looks at me curiously. A few seconds pass, and his expression shifts into something that looks a lot like confusion.
“What?” I squirm self-consciously. The look on his face makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel exposed.
“You really don’t know what we are?”
I snort a laugh. “Besides vampires? No, Vaelenor, I don’t. I’ve told you all so many times. My father cut me off from most of the world once my designation was revealed. Outside of books and general gossip, I heard from our staff…”
I shrug, and the movement feels heavy. “I don’t know how to convince you all that I’m telling the truth.”
“It’s hard, Idril.” He says, after a beat.
“We pulled our packmate out of your basement. Hundreds of years together, and I’ve never seen him so close to death.
Dax heard your father thanking you for bringing Caelan to him.
Not just once,” he adds. “You admitted to Gav and Silas when they found you that Caelan getting hurt was your fault.”
His tone’s becoming harsher, like the more he talks, the more he reminds himself how much he hates me.
“I didn’t do anything on purpose.” I try—again—to explain. “I wasn’t even near my father until he came back that night. I was in my room when I felt Caelan on the other side of the house—”
“See, now that’s where you lose me, Omega.” Vae interrupts. “Tell me the truth. Have you ever scented Caelan?”
“I—”
“Don’t lie to me. I know my brother’s scent. I’ll know if you’re lying.”
“No. I’ve never scented him. But—”
”Has he tasted your blood?”
I drop my head, blinking back tears. This is what it always circles back to. This is why no one believes me. That, and they never let me get a word in edgewise. They refuse to let me actually explain anything.
“Not that I’m aware of,” I respond, resigned to the fact that this conversation’s going to end like it always does. Vae will lay out all the reasons I’m wrong, reassert the fact that I’m a liar, and I’ll be left screaming into a void until my throat turns raw.
“Trust me, you’d know if one of us had fed off you. So that’s a no, then.” He releases a long-suffering sigh like he can’t believe my ignorance.
“If you’ve never scented each other, and he’s never tasted your blood, then you’re not Mates. That’s the only way you’d be able to sense him like that, Omega. Do you understand that?”
“I understand what you’re trying to say, but I also know you’re wrong.” I lean forward, bracing my hands on the floor in front of me.
“I can feel him in my chest, Vae. Like a long silver thread. And I can see your Bonds with him, too.”
He rolls his eyes, and just like that, my anger surges forward. The flame flares, and I have to blink several times when I notice that the air directly surrounding me looks warped, like steam rising off hot asphalt.
My vision clears quickly, and I push on, anger overshadowing my confusion. “They’re separate, and faded compared to mine, but they’re there.”
For a brief second, an uneasy expression crosses Vaelenor’s face, like maybe what I’m saying means something.
Then, like lightning striking on a cloudless day, it morphs into rage. “You’re lying.”
“How would I know that, then?” I throw up my hands. “How would I know with absolute certainty that your Bonds look like pulsing green threads?”
Vae throws his head back and laughs. The sound is mocking. Meant to remind me of my place—below him. I recoil at the noise, instinct warning that I’m pushing too hard. That I’m going to be punished if I don’t stop.
He rises, pinning me with a disgusted look. He looks like royalty, even standing in my small attic room, hunched over so his head doesn’t hit the sloping ceiling. He’s a statue of a Prince, his eyes hard shards of ice.
“Everyone knows that,” he snaps. “Everyone on this planet knows pack Bonds are green.” He shakes his head, releasing another cruel laugh. “I’m such a fucking idiot. This is why Dax doesn’t trust me to make decisions about you. Hell, this is why I don’t trust myself when it comes to you.”
I rear back, stunned. Is he saying—? I’ve always thought pack Bonds were something unique to the pack. Not a universal color like Mate Bonds.
And everyone knows that?
I sag in defeat.
Of course they do. Everyone except the Omega, who’s been locked away her entire life.
Everyone except the girl whose father made certain she knew as little as possible about the world outside of his walls.
Everyone except me.
He storms toward the door and straightens to his full height, pointing an accusing finger at me. “You’re good. I’ll give you that.”
I frown, still trying to wrap my mind around my own ignorance. “What?”
“You really had me going. Playing dumb. Pretending you had no idea what we were, or what the Severed were. Fates, you even looked mildly concerned when I told you about the ambush.”
That flame inside of me flickerss before going very still. It’s like a music box winding down, the melody becoming slower and slower until the gears finally stop turning altogether.
Then… Silence.
A vast, empty, dark void that extends in every direction.
And in that silence is Vaelenor’s laugh. Cruel. Mocking. Meant to make me hurt because he’s hurting.
My chest is hot. I can feel the burning behind my ribs, and with each word he spits at me, it burns higher.
I’m so tired.
Tired of being in pain. Of being ignored. Of being hurt. So, so tired of being punished for being an Omega.
Tired of being punished for existing.
“Dax was right,” Vae sneers. “You’re manipulative. I should have never—”
His words cut off.
I don’t know why he stops speaking. Maybe he realizes I’m not listening. I’m not even looking at him. I turn all my focus to the warmth in my chest and stay quiet, just like I always do.
My body is utterly, perfectly still.
‘Be still. Be quiet. Be good.’
I stare at the floor. The stone floor where I sleep.
My eyes are unfocused, blurry around the edges.
Everything feels untethered and distant, like I’m floating outside of my body.
The chill of the stone seeps through my leggings and into my skin, a stark contrast to the air surrounding me and the fire inside of me.
It rages and burns, spitting and flickering out of control.
And I let it.
Everything’s hazy and dream-like. I taste the acrid scent of smoke on my tongue, filling my throat and mouth and rolling against the back of my teeth.
Smell the scent of ozone, crisp and poignant in the air.
Feel little pinpricks of static popping along the skin of my arms, neck, and legs like tiny bubbles of light.
My eyelids flutter closed.
“Idril.” Vae’s voice is a distant echo, like he’s yelling underwater.
I don’t want to hear what he has to say, though. I don’t want to hear anything. I just want to fall into the flame that’s grown and reformed into a blazing inferno. It calls to me, begging me to join it. To let go.
So I do.
I stop fighting. Stop trying to push the heat back or keep it contained.
I clench my jaw, lift my chin—
And open my eyes.
Vae stumbles back with jerky movements, nearly tripping over his feet. His hand flies toward his hip like he’s reaching for a weapon he doesn’t have.
Because why would he need to defend himself?
Why would anyone need to protect themselves from the Omega?
Vae looks afraid, and the realization presses against something inside of me, nearly pulling me out of the numbness that’s suffused every cell of my body.
He’s an Alpha.
What does he have to be afraid of?
I’m not afraid. I’m nothing. I’m not crying or pleading or breaking.
I’m just done.
Fire flares brighter and my focus on the Alpha recedes, giving way to a comforting warmth that’s ancient and powerful and new. The warmth wraps around me, soothing my instincts with an indignant confidence that feels wholly alien, yet perfectly right.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Omega?” Vae snarls, and his voice breaks on the last word.
But it’s not his voice I hear.
It’s my mother’s.
It thrums and pulsates until it sounds like another language. One I’ve never heard before, but know all the same.