Chapter 33Evan
Chapter Thirty-Three
EVAN
I ’m cleaning up the kitchen as the guys say their goodbyes. One by one, they file out the back door. And by goodbyes, I mean a couple of nods as a thanks for dinner while they slap Cain on the shoulder in the way all guys do. No one knows why they do it. It’s like it’s ingrained in their DNA or something. Ink let me know that if Cain wasn’t keeping me satisfied, I knew where to find him, earning him yet another smack on the back of the head. I’m really growing to love that guy.
It isn’t long before I hear all of their bikes fire up and fade away in the opposite direction of the road. If they continue to want to use the trails to get here, I will need to clean them up and make them a little wider. It would be nice if I could turn them into a one-lane dirt road.
I'm wiping off the counter when I hear the door shut, and I look over to see Cain sauntering in, bag in hand.
“Did you, the king of no strings attached, pack an overnight bag?” I tease.
“There were only no strings attached because I was holding out for a rack like yours.” He winks as he presses his body up against my back, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in tight before moving my hair to the side and placing a light kiss on the spot on my neck that he knows drives me wild. A shiver runs through me as I feel his breath whisper across my skin, leaving goosebumps.
“I let Hades out for you,” he says softly against my neck. “I know this has all been a lot for you, not being used to this life and all. What would you be doing to relax if I wasn’t here?” I lean my head more to the left so he has better access. He doesn’t even need to do anything else. Just the feel of his beard tickling my skin makes my lower belly flutter.
Some might think having a man with two very different sides is weird. This isn’t me considering him mine. I’m not fully there yet, but I love having a prickly, broody man to the outside world. I love that I’m the only one that gets his soft and sweet.
“Evan?” Cain asks after I haven’t responded.
“What?” I whisper.
He chuckles lightly against my neck, giving my hips a light squeeze. “What would you be doing to relax if I wasn’t here?”
“Um… probably taking a bath,” I finally answer.
“Then that’s what you’ll do. Anything special about it?” he asks while stepping back, making me pout from the lost contact.
“You’ll get your cuddles, hellcat. I wouldn’t want to wake the demon.” He winks before taking off upstairs, not giving me the chance to respond. I finished up in the kitchen before following behind him.
I stop dead when I see what Cain is holding in his hand, just staring at it like he didn’t even know such a thing existed. I don’t even know what to say. I can feel my face growing warmer with every passing second.
“I was looking for some bubble bath for you when I found this.” Cain snickers as he turns to face me. I can tell he’s trying not to laugh. The fucker.
“You mean a bath bomb?” I ask innocently.
“It’s a dick, Evan. You have a bath bomb shaped like a dick.”
“They’re organic and made with essential oils. My skin feels amazing afterward.” Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.
“I got the real thing that will get the jobs done.” He said it.
“Jobs?”
“Job one is making you come so hard around my cock that you can’t walk for a week. Job two is coming all over those fucking tits and massaging it in, making your skin softer than this purple glitter dick will.”
Oh my fucking god.
Is he jealous of a bath bomb? My mind is telling me that’s a fucking weird thing to be jealous of, but my inner walls just let out a little spasm at the thought. If you had told me this was in my future, I would have told you that you were high.
“Jealous of your competition?” I taunt.
“Absolutely fucking not. Clothes off babe.” Bossy Cain is back as he tosses the dick in the water.
“So bossy.” I smirk while pulling my shirt over my head. I don’t miss the way Cain’s eyes flare as they immediately go to my tits. “See something you like?”
He growls while eating up the space between us. His hand reaches around my back and unhooks my black bra. “I see a lot of something that I like.” His thumb swipes over one of my nipples, making it harden under his touch. “But this, right now, isn’t about that. Now, don’t make me ask again, hellcat. Take off your clothes and get in the fucking tub.”
“Are you joining me?”
“Do you want me to?”
I duck my head, trying to hide the flush in my cheeks from the intimacy. “Yeah.”
“Don’t do that,” Cain says, coming up behind me where I’m standing at the foot of the tub.
“Don’t do what?” My brow furrows.
“Hide from me. If we’re doing this, then we’re fucking doing it, Evangeline. I want all of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Everything you’re willing to give and everything you’re not.”
“I want that too,” I whisper, trying to contain yet another set of tears trying to stream free. If you had asked me a month ago if I was a crier, I would have laughed in your face. But Cain is making me do something that no one has done in a long time—something that I thought I had tucked away, sealed in a box, and put a padlock on.
He’s making me feel .
“Then get in the tub, baby,” Cain says just as softly before he steps in and settles his back against the end of the tub.
I lift my leg up, sticking a toe in first to test the water; the fizzy, soft bubbles feel so calm against my skin. I can’t have it scalding, but I also can’t have it lukewarm. It just ends up feeling cold. He made it the perfect temperature for someone who has never drawn a bath.
Climbing the rest of the way in, I lower myself into Cain’s lap. His arms instantly go around me, pulling my back flush against his chest. I lean my head back, resting it on his broad shoulder. I let out a long, soft sigh. “This is nice. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me, babe. If you’re relaxed, then I’m relaxed,” he says as he starts to massage my neck, working his way over my shoulders.
I let out a soft moan as I roll my neck around, trying to give him better access. This is all so new for me—bathing with a man and sex not being the end goal. Now that I think about it, I’ve never bathed with a man, especially not with a penis-shaped bath bomb. This is all about the connection. The emotional intimacy. The feeling of each other.
“Feeling better?”
“Yeah, I am.” I run my hands down his hard, muscular thighs, massaging as I go.
“Good.” He rumbles as his thighs flex under my hands. “I want to know about you and Scotch.”
I try not to tense at the question but fail miserably. “What do you want to know? Or, I guess, how much do you know?” I knew this was coming. He deserves to know my past. I guess in this moment, I just feel so raw and exposed. Like he can see right into my soul.
“I know you and him met in a foster home, but beyond that, he hasn’t really said much. I don’t want to dig if you’re not willing, so if you’re not ready to share that with me, then we’ll wait to cross that bridge.”
“I’m ready to share.” I’m feeling very mellow right now. If he asked for anything in this moment, I would probably do it.
He gives me a reassuring squeeze on the back of my neck before I continue. “I never knew my parents. Well, I never knew my dad. My mom was an addict who didn’t want to give it up, so she gave me up instead. I was so young when it happened. It seems like a lifetime ago. I honestly barely remember her.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, baby,” Cain says as he lightly kisses the top of my head. “How old were you?”
“I was almost 7, and please don’t be sorry. Some people just don’t want to be parents, and that’s okay. That part doesn’t really bother me anymore. I mean, do I wish I had a mom? Yeah. But as fucked up as this is to say, I think my life would have been way worse if she would have kept me. And I wouldn’t have met Zeke.”
“I’m glad you found him, babe.” Cain pauses. “I hate to admit this, but at first, I was jealous of the relationship the two of you had. That’s why I barged into his room that night at the clubhouse. I thought something was going on.”
Of course that’s what he thought. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened with the girls Zeke dated. They always thought I was fucking him on the side. “No.” I let out a light laugh. “It’s cute you were jealous, though.”
“I wasn’t that jealous,” he grumbles, like he’s annoyed he even was in the first place.
I smirk to myself. “Alright, Mr. No Strings Attached. You weren’t jealous.” I give his thigh a squeeze. “Zeke is the closest thing I have to a brother. I never have or will ever think of him in a sexual way. The thought makes me want to vomit. I saw his bare ass once when I walked in on him and a girl in the living room. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was his zitty ass. It scarred me for life.” I shudder at the thought.
Cain lets out a laugh before he places a kiss on my neck, letting me know that he heard me.
“We met when I was in my fifth foster home.” I pause as Cain tenses underneath me. “It’s okay, babe. Some kids just don’t ever get adopted, and I was one of them. We just have to ride out the storm.”
“I hate that you had to ride that out by yourself.”
“I wasn’t by myself, though. Well, for a few years, I wasn’t. As I said, I met Zeke in my fifth and last foster home when I was 12 and he was 16. There were four other kids in the same home besides us. Richard and Mary were your stereotypical ‘I’m doing this for the paycheck and not to better a kid’s life’ type. We didn’t exactly starve, but we went to bed hungry many nights. They did the bare minimum for us.” I let out a light laugh as I reminisce, bringing up old memories. “I remember Zeke had just gotten his first job at this little deli down the street from us. I think the owner must have known what was happening in the house because after every shift Zeke worked, he let him take home a sandwich for free. Zeke always hid it under his shirt so Richard didn’t find out, and he would split it with me.”
“Why do I get the feeling Richard was a massive dick?”
God. Only this man would be able to make me laugh while I’m trying to tell him about my fucked up childhood. “Because he was. Richard was heavy-handed with the bottle, and when he got closer to the bottom of said bottle, he became a little…handsy.”
Cain’s whole body is clenched tight as he grits out through clenched teeth, “You better not say what the fuck I think you’re about to say.”
“He didn’t rape me.”
“Then what the fuck, Evan?”
“It started out as small sexual comments here and there. He told me he liked how my shorts made my legs look long or how he could tell my boobs were growing,” I say with a wince. “Zeke was always there to tell him what a sick fuck he was being.” I’ve tried to tell myself over the years that it wasn’t that bad, but therapy really made me open my eyes. Because it was that bad. I was just trying to downplay it in my head to cope. I honestly don’t think that I would have made it through without him.
I can feel Cain opening his mouth against my neck, ready to say something, but I cut him off. “Things didn’t get really bad until I was almost 15.”
“What happened?” It sounded like it pained Cain to get those words out.
“It was the first night that Zeke was gone. He had moved out that day. I think that’s what gave Richard the courage. There was no one there that would stop him. At this point, it was only me and another younger girl left in the house. They made us leave when we turned 18. It didn’t matter if you were still in school or not. Isn’t that fucked up?” I turn to look at him.
His face is set in hard lines like he’s bracing for the worst. “Yeah. That’s fucked, babe.”
“Anyway, that night, he had been drinking. When I came home from seeing Zeke’s new apartment in Ravenna Heights, he was trashed. I remember running past him when he tried to get up from his chair to follow me, but he was so fucked up he couldn’t stand. Him saying ‘my time is coming’ is engraved in my brain.”
“Where was Mary during all of this?”
“She worked the night shift at the hospital. We honestly barely saw her. If she wasn’t working, she was sleeping the day away.”
“Gotta keep the lights on.”
“Something like that,” I say, my tone sounding dead even to my own ears.
“Hey.” He rubs my arm. “We don’t need to continue. You can tell me whenever you feel ready.”
“No. I need to tell you now. I want to tell you now.”
Cain places another comforting kiss on my neck, making me relax against his chest.
“Anyway, I made it to my room and locked the door. It was just one of those flimsy locks on the door handle. Anyone could kick it in. I made the mistake of thinking he was down for the count. Whenever he got that drunk, he would be passed out for the rest of the night. Well, that night, I was wrong. So, so wrong.” I pause to take his arm and wrap it around me. The bath water is still warm, but a chill has settled over me. “I was woken up from my sleep by him trying to kick my door in. I froze Cain. I fucking froze. And all I could do was watch it be kicked in. It was like my whole flight response just blanked.”
“It’s not your fault, Evan. That’s a natural response,” Cain reassured me.
“I know. Looking back, I don’t even know what I would have done. I’ve replayed this scene over and over in my head about what I would have done differently, and I come up blank. Sorry, I keep getting sidetracked.” I shake my head, trying to recenter myself. “By the time I unfroze, Richard had already had me pinned to my bed with my arms above my head. I tried to get my arms out of his hold, but he was so much stronger than me…”
Cain gives me another reassuring squeeze that I needed to continue. “I remember kicking him as hard as I could repeatedly, but it didn’t even seem to phase him. It wasn’t until his hands were trying to pull down my pajama bottoms to… you know.”
“Yeah. I fucking know,” Cain clenched out. If I thought his body was wound tight before, it’s even worse now.
“It never happened, though,” I say softly as I squeeze his thigh in what I hope is a reassuring gesture. “Zeke came charging in and pulled him off of me before beating the shit out of him. He was in the hospital for a week because of what Zeke did. That was the last time I saw him.”
“Good. He deserves to be six feet under,” Cain growls. “Why did Zeke come back? I mean, I’m so glad he did, hellcat. He saved you, and I owe him for that, but it doesn’t make sense because you said he had just moved out.”
“Remember how I said it was just me and one other younger girl in the house? She heard Richard kicking my door in and called him.” He didn’t even hesitate to come that night. This is part of why I agreed to help Zeke and the club. Even this isn’t enough to repay him for what he stopped.
“Thank you for telling me all of this, hellcat. I know it wasn’t easy.” Cain gently grabs the edge of my jaw before turning my face toward him, placing the most intimate kiss I have ever experienced on my lips. There was no sexual yearning behind it. It was all about the connection we just shared. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling so raw. So exposed. I’ve never told that story to anyone except my therapist and Zeke. And he was there for half of it.
“Wait,” Cain started while pulling away. “You said that was your last foster home, but you were only what? 15? Please tell me you didn’t stay after that.”
“I didn’t stay.” The tension immediately left his body upon me saying that. It never occurred to me that he thought my story was about to get worse. “Zeke packed my stuff and took me to his place that night. And that’s where I stayed.”
“So he adopted you?”
“Not in the legal sense. It was kind of an unspoken agreement between us and Richard and Mary that if no one talked about what happened that night, they wouldn’t let the state know that I wasn’t living with them. Plus, they were still getting their checks, so it didn’t matter. We used that as leverage.”
I can feel him nodding against my head. “What about the other girl? Did she stay?”
“No. Her mom ended up winning custody back, so I like to think that her life turned around.”
“How did you stay at Scotch’s place when he was away in the Army?”
I let out a nervous laugh. I know he’s an outlaw biker, but I still don’t want to be judged. “He, uh… he still kept the place and paid the rent and all the bills. He even put money into my account for food and whatever random stuff I needed. I just stayed there on my own. I mean, I was already in high school at this point.”
“So you raised yourself?” His voice has that edge again.
“Calm down, babe,” I say as I rub his thigh for some comfort. “It wasn’t like that. Zeke didn’t even need to take me in like he did. I told him to go. I didn’t want to be the reason he put his life on hold. We both had it rough growing up. I wanted him to go find his happiness.”
“I have a newfound respect for Scotch, and I feel like I owe him my life,” Cain says before pausing. “So, you two really are just like brother and sister.”
It wasn’t a question. It was like mine and Zeke’s relationship finally clicked for him. I feel so relieved that he finally gets it. I don’t even think I noticed how much it was bothering me that it was in the back of his mind that Zeke and I had something going on the side. Cain taps my thigh, breaking me from my thoughts. “Let’s get out of this. The water is cold now, and I’m fucking tired.”
The funny thing is I didn’t even notice the water was cold because, for once in my life, I finally felt warm.