Chapter 18
Eighteen
Emma
I remember the Aquarium from my childhood.
Back then it was a large circular building with a giant tank in the middle. I always thought the fish must be bored. All they did was swim around and around in circles.
There were other things to look at, of course, like the giant saltwater crocodile and I always thought it was scary they had piranha.
That was back before my dad got really involved in church life—when life wasn’t overwhelming and sad.
It’s all changed now. The old building is still there, but it’s been extended, and instead of the big circular tank in the middle, there’s an oceanarium tunnel that we walk along.
It’s magical.
Jason’s eyes are wide with excitement as we step into the tunnel.
Fish swim over us, and I keep a hand on his back as his eyes are everywhere but where he’s walking.
Caleb watches us with amusement written all over his face.
“Jason, come and look at this.” Bailey takes his hand and they skip off to look at something.
It’s all a little overwhelming.
We walk out of the tunnel and wait at the end for everyone else to catch up.
“Are you okay?” Caleb asks.
“Not really.” I place a palm on his chest. “It’s breaking my heart that this is the first time they’ve been somewhere like this. Did you see how excited Jason was?”
Caleb gives me a soft smile and nods. “We’ll have to find more places to go. Even if we have to travel to do it.”
“You would do that for my children?”
He raises his hand and brushes my cheek with the back of it. “I’d do it for you. I can’t imagine what it was like for all those years in your own little bubble.”
“It’s not easy to break out of old habits. Today has been perfect.”
He casts his gaze over my shoulder to where the rest of the family is gathered. “We could make it better.”
“How?” I laugh.
“Do you think they might like to go for ice cream before we go home?”
“I think they’ll be the happiest they’ve ever been.”
He grins. “Let’s do it.”
“You’ll spoil them.”
“They deserve it. So do you.”
“Mum.” Jason runs over to me. “This is the best day ever.”
Tears prick my eyes. “I’m so glad you think so.”
“Bailey said there are penguins. Can we go and see them?” He tugs on my hand and my heart all at the same time.
“We can see everything, bud. We’ve got plenty of time,” Caleb says.
Jason lets go of my hand and throws his arms around Caleb’s waist. “Thank you.”
Caleb’s gaze catches mine. His chest heaves as he obviously struggles to contain his emotions. “You’re welcome,” he croaks.
Along the way we stop to look at the kiwis, and crayfish, but it’s the penguins Jason’s heart is set on.
His eyes are big as he watches them from behind the glass. Some of them are still on the beach part, but others are in the water. He drinks it all in.
I take Caleb’s hand and give it a squeeze.
He squats beside Jason. “I think feeding time is soon. Do you want to hang around?”
Jason nods. “They’re having so much fun.”
“I’m sure they have a lot of fun. Do you know they pick one who’s been naughty every month and one who’s been good? It’s like a little penguin competition.”
My son laughs, and Bailey takes hold of my arm. Her eyes are swimming with emotion, and while this is the first time she’s experienced any of this, I can see how much she loves this for her little brother.
“Are you having fun?”
She nods. “I wish we could have done this when we were his age.”
“Me too.”
Bailey rests her head against mine as the penguin handlers appear in the enclosure to feed them. Jason stands in awe, soaking up every word they say and leaning against Caleb.
We feel like a family.
I want this feeling to last forever.
When it’s over, Caleb and Jason, hand in hand walk through the rest of the exhibits ahead of us. Jason’s chattering like he’s never done before, and it’s all I can do not to fall apart.
Bailey and Kiera almost have to hold me up for part of it.
But my children are there to support me—they must be feeling it too.
“Can we go to the shop and buy a penguin?” Jason asks when we reach the end.
“I don’t—”
“I’ll take him. Do you girls want anything?” Caleb asks.
“Caleb …”
He turns to me. “I want to do this. Do you want anything?”
I shake my head.
“Emma, it’s my treat.”
“I’m fine.” I soften my tone. “I really appreciate this, but I’m really okay.”
He narrows his eyes at me before giving me a peck on the lips and heading into the gift shop with my children.
I laugh and shake my head.
They emerge about ten minutes later, arms full of stuffed toys and T-shirts, and I roll my eyes.
“Got you something.”
He hands me a small bag.
“Open it in the car, Mum. I’ve got all this stuff to carry,” Jason says.
Caleb chuckles. “Need some help?”
“No. I’ve got this.”
I raise my hand to my mouth to stifle a laugh.
When we get to Caleb’s truck, he helps Jason into the back seat with all his toys.
I’m not sure who’s more tired—Jason or me.
It’s been a big day.
“Mum, open your present,” Jason says. “I helped Caleb pick it out.”
“Okay.” I open the bag and smile. A pair of earrings—blue penguins sit inside the bag. “Aww, that’s so sweet. Thank you.”
“Put them in.”
I meet Caleb’s gaze and he shrugs.
Handing him the empty bag, I take out the studs I usually wear and slide the new earrings in.
“They sparkle.” Jason laughs.
“They’re lovely. Thank you very much.”
I take the bag back from Caleb and drop my studs into it before placing them into my handbag.
“Who wants ice cream?” Caleb looks in the rear-view mirror.
“Me.” Jason’s hand shoots up.
Today gets simultaneously better but more exhausting.
We drive the short distance up the road to the Danish ice cream place.
Caleb parks at the side of the road, and after opening my door and helping me out, helps the others out of the back seat.
“There’s a playground.” Jason’s voice is full of wonder.
“Maybe after ice cream, you can go and run off some of that energy,” Caleb says.
“I’ll push you on the swings, Jase,” Kiera says.
Caleb leads the charge again—I’m not sure who’s having more fun, him or my children, and orders ice cream for all of us.
Once again Jason’s eyes light up, and it’ll be worth dealing with his sugar rush later as he takes in the sight of the coned ice cream with chocolate sauce.
The mess doesn’t matter.
The heart of the little boy sparking with life does.
“Is this all for me?” he asks.
“It’s probably a mistake, but yes.” I laugh and his smile lights up my heart.
This is it—the life we should’ve had. I couldn’t do it for my other children at his age, but I can make sure he has a life full of fun and laughter.
“Let’s take a seat and eat this before we do anything else.” Caleb winks at him.
There goes what’s left of my heart.
I’m in love with this man. It feels like it’s taken next to no time, and a lot of it will be old feelings being reawakened, but I love Caleb so much, I think my heart might burst.
When we’re home and the kids have all crashed, I join Caleb on the couch again.
“Thank you.” I rest my head on Caleb’s shoulder.
He kisses my hair. “Any time. It was fun. I haven’t been there for years.”
“I’m so glad you’re in our lives.”
“Me too.”
I take in a deep breath. Today was incredible, and I don’t want it to ever end.
“Caleb?”
He pulls away and looks me in the eyes. “Emma.”
“Did you want to stay?”