Chapter 18 #3
We stay that way in silence, comfortable until Xavier stirs. I let my arms reluctantly fall away from him, already feeling his absence. He turns around and looks back at Mull in the distance behind us. The rocky outcrops of the island are contorted into strange and fantastical shapes.
“It looks like some land lost in time,” he says, adeptly steering us away from any more serious talk.
“I’ve always thought it looked like a remote Greek island where a Minotaur lived.”
“I always felt sorry for him.”
I shoot him a surprised look. “Why?”
“Because he must have been so lonely and desperate for someone to see him for who he was and not what he looked like.”
I stare at him, unable to fight the tenderness in me for this man. No matter how wildly he behaves, I will always see the sweet boy inside him, desperate to love and be loved and covering his feelings with snark. He flushes, and I conceal my smile.
“Do you see the headland to the left, the one that looks blue and green?” I say, pointing.
“Yes?”
“Those lines are where an earthquake happened and lava cut into the land.”
He studies it carefully. “I almost expect to see dinosaurs coming out into the open.”
“You don’t sound very thrilled about that.”
“Well, no, what with all the ravenous carnivoring they do. They might make a snack of Bernard.”
I look at the dog, who is currently looking rather embarrassed in the pumpkin jumper that Xavier bought in the village yesterday. “I don’t think even dinosaurs would get through that sweater.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to know fashion. Bernard feels the same about dinosaurs as I do. We’ll leave the dinosaurs to you. You can be the hunter-gatherer in our family.”
A sweet thrill runs through me at those careless words, but I don’t show it. “Is that because you don’t mind if I die horribly?” I say wryly.
“No.” The violence of his retort seems to shock him, and he licks his lips.
He clears his throat, and his usual cheeky expression slowly settles back on his face.
“It’s just that I’ll look a hell of a lot better in my animal fur loincloth than you.
” Against my will, my cock kicks at the image, and he shoots me a wry look. “You’re far too easy.”
“Only for you,” I say in a low voice.
“Hush,” he says, but his mouth is a soft curve of pleasure that he can’t hide.
The ferry docks with a juddering groan, and we join the rest of the foot passengers, as visitors aren’t allowed to bring cars to Iona.
When we step off the gangplank, I spot Logan waiting for us in his truck. I raise my hand in recognition and pull Xavier to the side out of the way of the other passengers.
Logan drives over and leans out of his window. “Okay, Reuben? Can’t thank you enough for doing this.”
“No problem,” I say easily. “I wanted to show Xavier the island anyway. You gave us a good excuse.”
He jerks. “Xavier?”
Xavier looks at him curiously. “That’s me. Oh no, has my fame travelled before me? What a small world we live in.”
Logan shoots me a look that Xavier isn’t supposed to see. I should advise him not to bother because Xavi is eerily perceptive. “Well,” Logan says in a tone of repressed excitement. “This is a proper turn-up for the books.”
“What is?” Xavier asks, his lip quirking in a way that never means any good and often presages mayhem.
Logan scratches his head. “Oh well, you know.”
“Not really,” Xavier replies unhelpfully.
I elbow him, hearing him snort, and I smile at Logan in a way that hopefully suggests he shut the fuck up. “So, the parcel’s over there.”
“What parcel?” I raise my eyebrow. “Oh yes, that one. Well, lovely to see you, Reuben. Erm, nice to meet you, Xavier.”
Xavier nods serenely. “Yes, it was.”
Logan hesitates and then sets the truck in gear and sets off in a manner last seen at the siege of Troy.
I look at Xavier and shove him when he starts to laugh. “Oh, shut up.”
“No, really. I don’t think I’ve been such a topic of conversation since I fell in the Trevi Fountain.”
“Fell?”
“Well, okay. Jumped. I was trying to recreate a scene in Flashdance.”
“Brave choice. I heard that they had to drain it.”
“Yes, sadly, the edible body paint wasn’t good. It actually stripped the coins, did you know?”
“I think I read that in The Mail, but it was hard to drag my attention away from your bare arse.”
“When isn’t it?”
I give in and start to laugh, and he rolls his eyes and waits me out. When I’ve calmed down, I say, “We’ve got a couple of hours before the last ferry. Want to see the island?”
“Don’t you want to help Logan?”
“No, he’s fine.” I only want to be with Xavier, but he doesn’t want to hear that.
“That’s surprising. You’re never happier than when you’re up to your elbows in engine grease. I remember that old Porsche you restored.”
I both love and hate that he knows me so well. Love because I want his attention on me. Hate because he’s going to take that away from me soon.
He looks around, and I follow his gaze. We’re standing in an area surrounded by a few shops and a cafe. Even at this time of the year, it’s full of tourists, and I watch Xavier blanch slightly.
“Let’s take the path around the island,” I suggest quickly. An idea suddenly occurs to me, brilliant in its simplicity. “I know a spot where we can wild swim.”
He turns to me. “Wild swim? What exactly makes it wild? Because I have to tell you, Reuben, that I might have a very different definition of that word.”
“I do know that. I think the whole world knows it, too.”
“So, we just get in the sea? How is that wild?”
I consider that. “We’ll be naked,” I offer.
“Oh, now you’ve persuaded me,” he says wryly. “Won’t it be freezing?”
“Let’s call it invigorating.” I’m enthusiastic now. I love swimming in the sea, and I suddenly want to do it with Xavier.
“Let’s not.”
“Come on. It’ll be fun.”
He looks down at Bernard. “What do you think?” Bernard had been looking in a meditative way at a nearby seagull and gives a soft bark. “Okay, we will come with you.”
I guide him towards the shore road on the left, and we walk along, following the track past barns and small cottages. Soon, we’re completely alone with not a soul in sight. The sea is loud, mixing with the rustle of the long grass in the wind.
Bernard let off the lead bounds along, investigating every grassy knoll with enthusiasm. Xavier and I walk in a comfortable silence. For such a livewire, he’s always been extraordinarily good at allowing quiet.
We come to the familiar gate, let ourselves through, and take the gentle slope downwards. Ahead of us is the blue gleam of the sea. The wind is cold as we walk across the machair dotted with reminders of the sheep’s presence on the island, and Xavier fastens Bernard on his lead quickly.
His gaze runs everywhere, and he sucks in a breath, his face delighted as we come out on a long beach that stretches as far as the eye can see.
It’s part pebbles and rock pools and part pure white sand.
The wind is fierce, but the sun is bright, illuminating the sea to turquoise in patches in the shallows and a deep navy blue in other places.
All we can hear is birdsong, the wind, and waves breaking on some rocks farther out.
There’s a couple on the beach with a small dog whose shrill barking drifts up to us.
“God, it’s beautiful,” he says softly.
“Camus Cuil an t-Saimh,” I say. I look over at him. His hair is wild in the wind. “The English translation is The Bay at the Back of the Ocean.”
He turns to me, his full mouth curving up in a delighted smile. “Really? That’s amazing.”
He starts down the sandy slope, and I hasten to catch up.
“Do you want a run, Bernard?” Xavier asks, but the puppy seems suddenly wary and cowers by his legs.
“Oh no,” Xavier says immediately. He crouches next to the dog, who immediately huddles into the shelter of Xavi’s body.
“It’s okay,” he says gently and very solemnly.
“You don’t have to run around like the other dogs.
Each to their own. The world would be a very boring place if all dogs were the same.
Maybe have a stroll with us for a while and think deep thoughts instead. ”
I’m torn between laughter and such a deep, warm affection for this extraordinary man who manages to be both the snarkiest bastard I’ve ever met and also the gentlest soul. Xavier shoots me a suspicious look, and I quickly clear my expression.
He stands up, and with Bernard at his side, we start to walk along the beach towards the far end where I usually swim.
The couple come near us, and we exchange greetings before moving on. A few minutes later, when I look back, they’re gone, and the beach is empty again.
Bernard seems to gain his confidence, and soon he’s straining at the lead. Xavi unclips him, and we walk slowly behind, watching as the dog bounds over the sand, intrigued by the water. A wave sloshes in, and he barks before looking back at Xavier.
“Go ahead,” Xavier calls. “You can be loud here.”
I snort. “I’m pretty sure someone has followed you around in life telling you the same thing.”
He shoots me a look. “You know damn well that’s not true. Cynthia would have had a shit fit if that happened.”
“She’ll have more of a one if she catches you using the words ‘shit fit’.”
He starts to laugh. “True.”
“How are they?”
“Same as usual.”
“How very terrifying.” I look sideways at him when he laughs. “I saw Cynthia last year.”
His head shoots around. “My grandmother? Really?”
“She came to my exhibition in London.”
“She did what?”
I chuckle. “I know. I don’t think she was there for the art.”
“She’s very suspicious of artistic things because there are usually emotions involved.”
“She was actually very pleasant.” I pause. “And also, rather threatening.”
He stops walking, and I turn to face him. “She threatened you?”
“Don’t be silly. She’s far too well-mannered for that. She merely suggested that I not think of treating you so badly again.”