Chapter 18 #4
His mouth drops open, and he stares at me.
Eventually, I reach over and cup his chin in my hand.
I move his jaw so it looks like he’s speaking and say in a squeaky version of his voice, “That’s very interesting, Reuben.
Please tell me some more stories, Reuben.
You’re the handsomest man in the whole wide world, Reuben. ”
He bats my hand away. “That is not what I sound like.”
“Of course not.”
“Wow. I can’t believe she did that.”
“Are you mad?” I look at him curiously. He never reacts the way I think he’s going to. It’s a part of his prodigious charm.
“Nah.” He grins wide and white, his eyes twinkling with mirth. “She’s quite scary, isn’t she?”
“Afghanistan looked a safer place at that point in time.”
He laughs. “Wow. She actually threatened you.”
“You’ve already said that. I somehow feel that this is the thing that pleases you most.” I hesitate as he laughs. “She also told me not to give up on you.”
His laughter fades. “What? Why on earth would she say that?”
I tilt my head as I look at his gorgeous face, considering numerous ways I’d like to respond.
She’d noted how pathetically I’d asked after you.
She’d heard the way my voice caught on your name the way it always does.
And she’d taken one look at me and known I was still in love with you. Will always be in love with you.
In the end, I say, “Who knows? She was probably covering all the angles of potential future problems.”
“Maybe. She would have made a cracking criminal overlord, but only if the criminal world matched their tea towels with the curtains.” He gives me a crooked smile when I laugh. “I’ve actually got a lot closer to her in recent years.”
“Really?”
He nods. “I think I understand her more. She wasn’t good with the kind of closeness I wanted as a kid, but that was down to her own upbringing. As an adult, she’s a pretty interesting person. And she makes me laugh.”
“I’m glad,” I say softly.
He starts to walk away, but stumbles awkwardly in the sand.
I grab his hand to steady him before he takes a tumble, and he falls into me.
I put my hands on his hips, and for a long moment we rest against each other.
His body is warm and a wonderfully familiar weight against mine.
It’s as if the gods recalibrated the sharps and angles of my body five years ago so it would fit against him, so I would know him in the dark.
“Reuben,” he says huskily, and before I can stop myself, I reach up and take his glasses off. His eyes are very blue in the light, the colour of the ocean behind us. His lids fall closed, and he sways into me.
It’s too much, and I don’t hesitate. There isn’t a single thought in my head but kissing him. I drop his sunglasses, cup his face, and pull him even closer, taking his lips with mine. Passion immediately roars through me to him as if someone took a flame to paper.
His mouth opens under mine, and he gives a throaty groan that seems to reverberate in my balls. I can’t get close enough, and I lower my hands, cupping his arse and pulling him impossibly closer.
I’m aware of his hands fumbling between us, his fingers finding my jeans’ zipper and lowering it. As I take a small step back to give him space, wild for his touch, a weight hits us, and we tumble into the sand.
“Motherfucker,” he hisses as Bernard jumps around us barking frantically, obviously thinking this is a tremendous game.
“Ouch,” I say plaintively as Xavier’s elbow hits me in the throat.
“Sorry.” The word quakes with repressed mirth.
I wave a hand. “Oh, go ahead. You’ll burst otherwise.”
My mouth twitches as he starts to laugh. He’s half lying on me, and the bloody dog is still dancing around us, barking and intermittently darting in to lick our faces.
“Fucking hell. He’s like a battering ram with saliva,” I groan.
“He just wanted a cuddle.” He laughs harder as I grimace. Finally, he calms and comes down over me, supporting himself on his raised arms. “Hello.”
I can’t help my smile. It must look completely besotted. “Hello, you.”
“So, I can’t help but notice that sex might be back on the table. Tell me, Reuben. Has your willpower always been this bad?”
“Oh, shut up. You know it’s always been non-existent around you.”
He laughs again, and I push the jackass off me and climb to my feet. I step forward and there’s a sudden ominous crunching sound. I look down and groan. His sunglasses are now in pieces. “Sorry,” I say.
He bites his lip. “Oh dear. They were very expensive.”
I roll my eyes. “They were free. Ask them to send you another pair, Influencer Boy. I’ll warn the postman to prepare for more deliveries. He’s already muttering about hernias.”
He rolls to his back, laughing helplessly, and my breath catches at the pretty picture he makes in the sand, his golden hair every which way. I offer him my hand and pull him up.
“I’m so glad I amuse you.”
His hand is warm, the skin soft as silk against my own rougher skin. He looks up. Those mercurial eyes of his are so blue and bold. The silence drifts. It seems so full of possibilities that it makes me dizzy. I shouldn’t hope, but I can’t help it. This feels so right.
He gives me a crooked smile but doesn’t say anything. As he begins walking again, I start to let go of his hand, but he tightens his grip, keeping our fingers pressed firmly together. “Do you mind?” he asks, lifting our joined hands.
“I—” I clear my throat. “I will never mind that.”
He nods, and we walk silently along the beach.
I don’t think I’ve ever held hands with him before, and the thought fills me with sadness.
This closeness and quiet is the best thing I’ve ever felt, but it might never have happened.
Tears prickle my eyelids, and I’m glad of the cover of my sunglasses.
He could have died in that hotel where Robbie took him.
Instead, he’s here beside me, healthy and so full of life and mischief.
I don’t believe in any gods, but I send a fervent message out to the universe. Thank you.
Eventually, we reach the end of the beach, and we pause. “We can swim here,” I say, reluctant to break the moment.
He turns to me. His eyes are bright and bold and full of his usual mischief. “So, we’re getting naked? This day is full of surprises.”
“Is it really?”
He watches me steadily for a moment, and then his mouth tilts in a crooked smile. “No. Don’t we always end up here?”
“Not like this?” I say tentatively, glancing down at our joined hands. I hold my breath and then relax when he slowly shakes his head.
“No.”
I wait for him to say something else, but he never does what I predict. Letting go of my hand, he reaches up to grab the neckline of his jumper and pulls it off. He drops it on the sand at my feet, his movement as graceful as ever. Then he kicks off his shoes and socks and unzips his jeans.
They fall to his feet, and I think I inhale my own spit because he’s not wearing underwear and is now standing completely starkers on a beach.
I want to look around to check we’re still alone, but I can’t drag my eyes away from him.
An army could march across the beach, and I wouldn’t pay them any attention.
He’s put on some much-needed weight since the hospital, but there still isn’t a spare inch on him. He just looks sleeker and healthier, the old hollows in his cheeks gone and his skin glowing with health. After dropping his jeans onto the pile of discarded clothes, he glances up at me.
“You are so very fucking beautiful,” I say softly.
I thought the words would be lost to the wind, but he hears them and his eyes brighten and flare. Then he shivers, and the moment is gone.
“Fucking hell, it’s cold,” he shouts. “Best to get it over with, yes?”
I start to laugh as he turns and races into the waves, his long legs jumping over them. He looks like a Viking with that long blond hair, the stubble and those blue, blue eyes, and I’m hypnotised.
He dives into the water, giving me a flash of his beautiful arse, and then comes up, water cascading over his body.
“Holy shitballs,” he shouts, breaking me from my reverie.
I laugh as he gathers handfuls of water, dashing them at me, and I dodge them easily.
“Shit, it’s freezing. Why didn’t you warn me? ”
“It’s October. I thought you’d kind of guess. I’ll just be up here,” I call. “Sitting on the warm sand.”
“What?” His mouth drops open in outrage, and I can’t help my laughter. “Fuck off. Get in here now.”
“Oh, okay, seeing as you’re asking so nicely.”
I cast my eyes around, and the beach is still empty. Bernard is standing by the edge of the sea, looking like he’s contemplating either rescuing Xavi or joining him. Then he obviously gives up on the idea and returns to chasing the waves.
I kick off my shoes and socks and then quickly strip.
There’s none of the inherent grace that Xavier possesses, mainly because it might be sunny, but the wind is cold.
When I’m naked, I beat my chest and dash into the waves with a Tarzan yell.
He doesn’t get the chance to snark at me, because I tackle him into the waves. We go under and pop back up quickly.
“You unmitigated wanker,” he shouts, spitting out water and starting to laugh.
I give a huge shudder. “I always forget how cold it is.”
His eyes narrow. “Oh, really? Let me remind you, then.”
I gasp as he dashes water in my face and then I throw myself at him, taking him under the waves again.
We come up laughing, and I push away, cutting through the sea in a flashy crawl. “Swim,” I shout. “You’ll get warm quicker.”
He joins me, and we swim for a while, racing each other, feeling the warmth run through our bodies and keeping a wary eye on Bernard and the beach.
Eventually, though, the cold gets the better of us. “Let’s go in,” I shout, my teeth chattering, and he nods. I stand when I feel the sand beneath my toes, and he joins me.