CHAPTER EIGHT
NATALIA
I suck in a sharp breath and blood rushes through my body. The room starts to spin rapidly like I’m on a fairground ride that won’t stop, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m having another nightmare, but this feels all too real.
It can’t be ... but it is.
Nikolai?
No. No. No. I must be dreaming again, another nightmare.
“Are you not going to greet me,” he says, his voice gruff and heavy.
My eyes widen but the room blurs. I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He cocks his head and laughs.
“This can’t be real.” I breathe; my body trembles.
“Oh, you’re just as beautiful as I remember.” He drags out his words.
“You’re not real. This isn’t real. We shot you. We left your body in the snow. You’re dead,” I choke out, chest heaving in a desperate effort to catch my breath.
“Natalia stay behind me,” Dima says still gripping my hand.
We walk backward together and he guides me while shielding me from the monster. I stay behind him and peer out from the side to look at the ghost as he steps further into the room closing the space between us.
My body is slowly going numb. My mind floods with trauma as I see Nikolai hovering over me.
His hand tangles in my hair. He winds it tighter around his fist and drags me through the backrooms of Sasha’s nightclub, my body hitting off the walls and knees burning as they scrape across the carpeted floors of the back hallways.
“You’ll never disobey me again.” His voice is angry, a muscle thrumming across his jaw as he lets go of my hair.
His hand strikes my face, and I fall to my knees unable to speak.
“When I tell you to do something, you do it. Do you understand, whore?” His booted foot finds my ribs.
I lose my balance and land on my side. I curl up on the ground and wrap my arms around my body. A sob breaks from my chest and with each sob another sharp pain rips through me.
“I said do you understand what the fuck I’m telling you? You little bitch.” He growls, cracks his jaw and tugs at my arm pulling me closer to him.
I nod rapidly and stare up at him through tears that threaten to spill and cascade into waterfalls.
He grips my face and kisses me violently.
I want to push him away; to tell him he’s a disgusting pig. To tell him I hate him for everything he’s doing to me. But I can’t. I’ve never believed I’m a weak woman but he’s a monster. Tall, heavy, trained, brutal. I know that even if I run there would be no escaping this place, no escaping him.
“You really thought you killed me?” He asks and his voice brings me back to the present moment.
“We ... did,” I reply still clinging onto the back of Dima’s shirt.
He lets out a twisted laugh.
“No, Natalia. The man you met—the man you murdered ... he was my twin brother, Vlad. You never were too smart. You were only ever good for one thing, Natalia Petrova,” he replies and taunts me.
“No ... no, that’s not true,” I stutter.
Dima steps backward and holds onto my arm.
“Hush, baby, don’t let him get in your head,” he tells me.
“How fucking sweet. That whore your baby? She’s no fucking baby. She’s sucked more dick than most whores in this place. Isn’t that right, baby?” The ghost asks with a venom I recognize.
“Who the fuck do you think you’re speaking to, you fucking worthless piece of shit!
” Dima snaps and draws his gun. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you again?
I mean you claim to be Nikolai, right?” Dima asks and pulls Pawel to his side.
In one swift movement he moves me behind Pawel while he steps closer to the ghost.
I tremble, it’s an all too familiar fear. I try to fight it, but I can’t because the ghost’s manipulation is ingrained in my core. It became a natural response to his voice, his abuse, his presence.
Nikolai was never my love. He was my owner, my master, and I was his slave.
I tried to run once but it was useless. He soon caught up with me and the beating he gave me reminded me of why it was foolish to try to escape this life.
But now ... I felt free with Dima, but maybe now in this moment the ghost will take his revenge.
I step out from behind Pawel and stand beside Dima, then take a step forward.
“Take me, but let them leave,” I say my voice trembles. I fear I’ve just signed my own death certificate.
Dima reaches out and pulls me back to his side. “Natalia, no!” He snaps.
I fear the brute in front of us really is Nikolai.
Terror tears through my limbs and my knees weaken beneath me and I shake as the two of them trade threats.
My vision blurs and time crashes together like a wave pulling me under and drowning me.
I hear nothing as my mind races and my thoughts hit me like a hurricane sending me spiraling back into the past, illuminating my memories of the torture I endured at the hands of this monster.
“Nikolai please. I don’t want to,” I beg.
“You’ll entertain my friends, like the good little slut you are.
You don’t get to tell me no. When they arrive, you’re polite.
You entertain them. Now put the skirt on Natalia, don’t make me beat you into submission my pretty little whore,” Nikolai growls and grabs my face, squeezing my cheeks so hard that the insides hit my teeth.
I nod frantically, desperately trying to hold in a whimper that screams to escape, but I know it’ll only make it worse.
I know how this monster operates so I hold my breath and refuse to blink or tears will fall and ruin my makeup.
I don’t want that. Messy makeup always earned hard pinches to my ribs leaving bruises that would be present for weeks.
He lets go of my face and pushes me backward. I fall to the ground and wait for him to pace away before grabbing the clothes from the bed.
He moves to the window and lights a cigar then walks out onto the balcony.
If only I were stronger I’d run at him and watch as his body flips over the railing and crashes to his death.
Little me would never be suspected, but that’s because I’m too weak to carry out my twisted fantasy but God knows I want to.
I fucking wish I’d have at least tried as I look back and forth between Dima and the living ghost.
As we all stand here in a war of words the walls feel as though they’re closing in around me and I struggle to breathe. Every time I look at the ghost in front of me, I feel my soul being shattered repeatedly. The pain I endured at his man’s hand will never leave me.
I sink into a dark hole I can’t escape.
I move forward once again and grab at the ghost’s arm. A scar reminiscent of a train track runs from his wrist to his elbow.
My heart thuds in my ears, breathing becomes labored—I have to actively remember to inhale and exhale.
With trembling hands, I trace my fingers over the scar. “It’s really you,” I say and try to hold back my tears.
I’m fucking terrified of this man, especially now he knows I chose Dima. I’m sure he wants me dead.
Dima’s hand snakes around my waist and he pulls me into him.
“You don’t have to do this, Little Sparrow,” he says looking into my eyes.
“I know I don’t, but I want to. I’m done being a victim. That’s why I came here. I’m done with running. I’m done with fearing men like him,” I reply because I know I need to be brave.
Then I turn my attention back to Nikolai.
“You were a better man when we killed you. Dead men don’t get to hurt innocent people.
You’re a coward Nikolai Zorin. Why do you need us?
For what? You have nothing left to prove.
We all know you’re the coward here. I hate you.
If I could shoot you dead again I would.
” I snap and spit in his face. “You always said I wasn’t a lady.
You deserve to die again. Fuck you!” The anger and hatred I feel for this man flows out of me with a determination I could’ve only ever have dreamed of having in the past.
“Are you finished?” He asks and lets out a low twisted laugh.
“I killed your twin brother. He ran for his life. He was just as much of a coward as you are, Nik.” I taunt him the way he always taunted me.
“Leave. The three of you can go now. But remember one thing Natalia ... if I want you, I’ll have you. Any time, any place. You’ll never be safe; you’ll forever be watching your back because I’ll always own you.”
“You’re fucking insane. You’re a dead man!” Dima snaps as he lunges toward Nikolai and draws his pistol.
I hope we make it out of here alive.