29. Caroline A Shot
caroline: a shot
I KNEW WHAT MY MOM had said. And I appreciated her confidence in me.
But, come on, she was my mom. If anyone was going to think someone hot and famous like Chase could fall in love with me for real, it would be her.
I mean, of course, he did make me feel loved.
But you couldn’t trust feelings. Everyone knew that.
Pretty much every time I’d ever trusted a feeling, it had let me down.
So… I was all finished with that portion of the program.
Plus, I knew who I was, and I knew what I had to do.
But before I could… I groaned under my breath.
I wanted to turn around, but it was too late.
And, also, I felt so guilty for feeling this way.
Wes was coming toward me, and, objectively, he was adorable.
He was kind. He was successful. But he wasn’t Chase.
That was the long and short of it. You could reason out why you should like someone on paper all day long, but if you didn’t feel that thing, you didn’t feel it. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.
“Just the woman I was looking for,” Wes said. He seemed breezy, which was good. Maybe he wasn’t upset. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. I let him. It wasn’t romantic or anything.
“Hi,” I said sunnily. “Gorgeous day for the Halloween Hoedown!”
He nodded. “So, um, I wanted to talk to you—”
“Wes,” I interrupted, “I’m so sorry, but I’m kind of in charge of this thing with my mom, and I really do need to get down there.”
“This won’t take long.”
I nodded. He seemed so cool, calm, and collected.
Nothing could have prepared me for when I heard him say, “Look, I’m happy you’re happy.
I really am. But see, the whole us being in business together was really more predicated on our being in a relationship too.
Without that element, I’m sorry to say that I just don’t think Sloane Emerson is the best use of my time. ”
I was gobsmacked. I barely recognized the laugh that came out of me. I shook my head. “Wes, are you kidding me? I thought this was going great.”
He pointed to me and then himself and said, “I thought this was going great.”
I felt fury rise in me. But I wouldn’t give in to it. Nope. I was going to be the composed Caroline I knew I could be, especially when it came to business. “Wes, let’s schedule a time to sit down with my mom and my sisters and talk this through. Don’t punish them because you’re angry with me.”
He shrugged. “There’s nothing to really talk about.” He paused. “This is just more of a commitment than I’m looking for right now.”
I had to contain my laugh because wow. Really? Turning that one around on me? I tried one more time. “Well, look, let’s get through the Chicago franchise and—”
“The Chicago franchise is off. I’ve set her up with another retail outlet.”
I was in huge danger of losing my cool, so I knew I had to walk away. I nodded and said pertly, “Well, Wes. I’m sorry you feel this way. I hate to see a profitable relationship come to an end. Enjoy the hoedown.” I walked past him.
“Enjoy your prepubescent boy toy,” he shot to my back.
I stopped and turned and said the most ridiculous thing of all time. “If I could rewind time, I wouldn’t have ever played bingo with you that first week I was in Peachtree Bluff.”
I immediately felt dumb, but he said something even more stupid back: “I made you here. If it weren’t for me, you would never have had a single friend in Peachtree Bluff. You would have been a senior outcast.”
I rolled my eyes and turned again, saying, in my head, Walk away, Caroline. Don’t stoop to his level. But, I mean, I’d already stooped. Had I ever. And he might have been right. Wes did introduce me to all his friends. But since we were seventeen this was all idiotic.
I just couldn’t believe he had broken up with me professionally. It was insane! We were making money. We were doing well. And, as much as I hated to admit it, I couldn’t handle the stores and the franchise end on my own. I was so sad for what we had been growing.
But I had to shake it off. I took a deep breath and stopped, looking out over the water. I was home. I was in Peachtree Bluff. I was happy and healthy and had the greatest family in the world. And that was what I was going to focus on now. I’d worry about Sloane Emerson later.
To that end, I found Kyle over with Keith by the coffee stand.
In my capacity as “supervisor,” I could really do whatever I wanted.
So far, I had broken up an argument by the Ferris wheel, reorganized the cutlery at the funnel cake truck, zhuzhed the hay in Kimmy’s truck, and separated several make-out sessions in the hay maze.
So, I was owed a little me time. “Hey, I’m glad I caught you alone,” I said to my favorite almost-brother-in-law.
Kyle wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Oh, Caroline, I always knew one hunky movie star and one rich, jealous husband weren’t enough for you!”
We both laughed. “Yes. What I need is yet another man in my life. I’m here to tell you, weeks before you marry my sister, that it’s always been you, Kyle.”
He took my arm and linked mine through his as we walked. “What’s up? You need man advice?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. But I think I’m going to after I say what I’m about to say.”
“Yes!”
“So, I don’t even want to mention this to Emerson. Or maybe we have to? I’m not sure.” I waffled. “I think this is why I want to talk to you first.”
He looked over, obviously intrigued.
“I’ve been thinking that I could be your surrogate. Well, I mean, I guess not surrogate, since it’s my egg. Whatever it would be if you knock me up, Kyle.”
“Yes! This is getting so good!” We both laughed again.
Kyle waved at someone I didn’t know.
“Car, that’s the nicest thing ever, but that’s a big ask, even for sisters as close as you. Not that I don’t want to have a baby with you. Impregnating my wife and her sister has really always been my dream.”
I scrunched my nose. “It’s weird, right?”
“It’s a little weird. But it’s also incredibly generous. And the not telling Emerson…”
“Well, Kyle, I know it’s easy to forget because I am so effortlessly stunning and my boyfriend is so young and hot, but I am”—I looked around, then whispered—“almost forty.” I cleared my throat.
“And, considering that it took me like eleven years and six unsuccessful rounds of IVF before I magically got pregnant with Preston, I don’t know if this will even work. I don’t want her to be devastated.”
Kyle led me up into the gazebo and we sat, overlooking the water.
He nodded. I continued: “I also am pretty firm in the idea that I don’t want to do IVF.
Insemination is fine, but if it doesn’t work…
” I shrugged. “All those hormones and doctor’s appointments.
I was so crazy. And I have two kids to raise, and I just can’t go through all that again.
But I know if Em asked me to, I wouldn’t be able to tell her no, so I guess I just… ”
Kyle put his hand on mine. “Caroline, this is so kind. It really is. But it’s not necessary. Look, Emerson and I are great. We’re fine. We’ll have another baby or we won’t. We can adopt. I’ve told her all of that.”
I bit my lip. “I’m sure I want to do this for her.” I looked down at my hands. “It’s just…” I laughed and shook my head, feeling so ridiculous.
“It’s just what?” He peered down, his face close to mine. “It’s just what?”
“It’s so dumb, I can’t believe I’m going to say it out loud.”
He shook his head. “It’s just, what is Chase going to think about this?”
I nodded. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t believe it.
It hadn’t been long enough to even imagine a future together and, yet, every day, all the time, that seemed to be where we were heading.
He had no trouble talking about what was next.
Moving in together, being a family. I was partly mad at myself for letting him get so close to my children.
But the other half felt like this was real.
No, the other half felt like this was the single realest love I had ever had, like I hadn’t even actually experienced the real thing before now.
And that was kind of sad, wasn’t it? Hearing that my mom thought the same thing really drove it home.
“Look,” Kyle said. “I’m not going to say that if he loves you, he’ll understand.
Because, honestly, Caroline, he might not understand.
I’ve been around the guy, and he wants you.
All of you. He wants a future with you. And I’m not presuming to know what you guys have talked about, but I’m going to assume that includes maybe even having a child.
So, if he doesn’t understand, don’t write him off.
” He cleared his throat. “Car, I love your sister more than a person reasonably should. And I would do anything for her. Anything except tell you to trade your happiness for hers. I mean, yeah, it’s only nine months.
But, for you, it’s kind of, like, the nine months, you know? ”
I leaned into him. “You’re the best damn brother-in-law a girl’s ever gonna get. Do you know that?”
“I know,” he said seriously.
As I looked out over the water, I couldn’t help but think about Mark, who Emerson almost married, about what would have happened if she and Kyle hadn’t taken the plunge.
What if Kyle hadn’t admitted he loved her?
What if she had spent all this time married to the wrong guy?
I couldn’t wonder that about James because he gave me my two perfect children.
And I was certain that, had he not cheated—hell, had he not cheated on such a public forum—we would still be together.