40. Sloane Dazzling
sloane: dazzling the wedding day
A WOMAN CANNOT BE IN her sister’s wedding and not think back fondly and nostalgically on her own wedding day.
It is not possible. As Adam helped me into my bridesmaid’s dress in our brand-new bedroom that I was still pinching myself over, I wondered how he felt about his once young and fit wife who, at this moment, had fingers so swollen she couldn’t wear her rings, a puffy face, ankles that were three times their normal size, and a stomach I was quite certain would never ever go back down.
I turned to him, and he smiled, tucked my curled and sprayed hair behind my ears, and said, “You look so beautiful. No one will be able to take their eyes off you.”
I almost laughed. I almost said, Because I will take up everyone’s entire line of sight.
But I didn’t. Because he seemed so sincere, and I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
I kissed him, soft, slow, and deep, remembering the day I had walked down the aisle to him in a white dress, he in his army dress uniform, looking so handsome and brave that I could scarcely believe he was mine.
I had no idea then that we would have two—nearly three—beautiful children together, that we would be back in Peachtree Bluff, that he would be MIA, wounded and honorably medically discharged from the military life he loved as much as I loved this little town that raised me on sand dollars and homemade ice cream.
I had truly, honestly faced what life without Adam would look like.
And I had gotten him back. It was a miracle.
“I love you,” I said, “even more than the day we got married. I love you more because I didn’t know then how well you would love all of us, even when it’s hard.”
He put his hand on my cheek, and I resisted the urge to tell him not to mess up my makeup. “It has never, ever been hard to love you, Sloane. Not for one minute.”
I put my hands protectively to my stomach, marveling at the irony that the thing I thought I didn’t want was also what had brought me the most joy, more joy than everything else in my life combined. “We are so lucky,” I said.
As he kissed me again, a sharp, shooting pain ripped through my abdomen. I sucked in my breath.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded casually. “Oh yeah. Sure. I’m great.” I knew if he knew what I had just felt that he would make me go to the hospital, and I wasn’t missing my little sister’s wedding.
I wasn’t panicking. Our little Lee was measuring full-term already, and due dates were never an exact science. Plus, I was so huge that I would really be fine with going into labor early. But there was a huge chance that these were just Braxton Hicks. That was more likely, for sure.
I took a deep breath and stood up straight. “Okay,” I said, “I’m going to go join the other bridesmaids. You’ve got the boys?”
The Yacht House was right across the street, so it made more sense for me to get ready here than there.
I had been back and forth to the Yacht House and Peachtree Historic Site, which was sort of catty-corner across the street and would be the site of the reception.
They both looked like stunning fall fairylands, as had Peachtree Grocery at the rehearsal dinner last night.
It had all gone off without a hitch, thanks to Caroline, per usual.
I wasn’t sure we appreciated her enough.
He nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ve got the boys.”
I marveled at how easy they were now, how self-sufficient.
A shot of panic ran through me. We were starting over.
Up all night and diaper changes and endless feedings.
But then there was that sweet new baby smell and the way their little hand would wrap around my finger, and instant, unbreakable love.
It was all so fast. Suddenly, I was dreading that babyhood being over, and the baby wasn’t even here yet.
And then, with that thought, there it was, that unmistakable feeling again, that stomach tightening.
Yeah. That was definitely a contraction.
But it wasn’t bad yet. I would be fine. I had been in labor for hours and hours with both AJ and Taylor.
I glanced at the clock above Adam’s head.
The ceremony started in twenty minutes. It wouldn’t last more than thirty.
And if I didn’t make it to the reception, so be it.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Adam asked.
I nodded resolutely. “Positive.”
I kissed him again and walked, with purpose, down the stairs, out the door, and through Mom’s front door, where the bridesmaids were assembled, willing the contractions to go away.
“There you are!” Caroline said. “I was getting worried.”
She was wearing a full-on, Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner headset. Hence the perfect choreographing of every detail. She put her finger up. She turned and whispered. “No, I want the fireworks to cue as the first refrain of their last dance plays: ‘This will be an everlasting love.’ ”
She turned back to me, and as another contraction tore through me, I realized I was going to miss that. And it made me sad.
Caroline looked me up and down. “Does Adam know?”
“Know what?”
“That you’re in labor?”
My jaw dropped. I wanted to argue with her, play it off. “How do you do that?”
She smiled. “I just know you, that’s all.” She looked down at her clipboard. “Your labor is not on my schedule.”
I laughed. “Oh gosh. Well, then, just let me know when a good time would be.” I looked around then whispered: “No one knows, and you may not tell them.”
Caroline sighed and pointed to her headset. “Sloane, I’m navigating a multi-destination wedding while being a bridesmaid. We’re going to need a point person for you. I cannot also worry about whether you need to be at the hospital.”
I shook my head. “Nope. No way. Anyone else will make me go right now.”
Caroline sighed again. “Fine.”
“Ladies!” she called. “I need bridesmaids to head across the street. Jonathan, the wedding planner, is waiting there to show you exactly where you need to go. And we’ll be two minutes behind you because we are eleven minutes from walking down the aisle!” She almost sang the last part.
As they filed out, she put both her hands to my belly, and her eyes filled. “We get another baby tonight.”
Then my eyes filled too. “I know.”
“Are you scared?”
“Only of you.”
We both laughed, and Caroline gasped as Mom and Vivi, Emerson trailing behind them, entered the room.
I put my hands to my heart. “Emerson,” I said, clasping my baby sister’s arms. I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t want to muss her.
Her lustrous blond hair was ever-so-slightly fuller than usual, cascading over her shoulders and down her back, our family veil resting lightly in her hair.
Her dress was completely made of lace with an A-line at the waist. Nothing too full, but full enough that it wasn’t just another dress.
And a sweetheart neckline and delicate straps that were so flattering.
“Em, your b—” I cut myself off and my eyes widened.
She locked eyes with me and smiled. And I smiled back. Because then I knew.
Emerson was definitely the flat-chested sister. Except when she was pregnant. Which she totally, totally was. Maybe Caroline wasn’t the only psychic one in the family.
“You look perfect,” Caroline said. “All of you.”
Another contraction jolted through me, and I couldn’t help but wince and gasp just a little. I tried to cover it with a cough, but Mom said, “Honey! Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “Oh yeah. Just these shoes. They’re pinching when I step a certain way.”
“Aunt Sloane, you’re too pregnant to be wearing heels,” Vivi said knowingly. It was so grown up.
Caroline put her finger to her ear. Into her headset she said, “Okay. I have bride, MOB, and the three final bridesmaids. We’re coming your way now.”
“Where is Carter?” I asked.
“She’s with Jack,” Mom said. “He’s coloring flower-girl pages in a coloring book and has never been so happy in his life.”
I smiled. That was so sweet. I looked at Caroline. “Well, go on. I’m going to escort our gorgeous bride.”
Vivi skipped up beside her mom, and when they were out the door, I whispered to Mom and Emerson, “Is everything set?”
“All set,” Mom said, smiling.
My stomach did a little nervous tumble. Not a contraction this time! They were still far enough apart that I figured I was in the clear. This one was more of excitement and anticipation. “Let’s get this girl down the aisle, then.”
Despite my anxiety over, you know, being in labor, I took a moment to savor all of this as we walked out the door.
My mom, my sisters, my niece, and me. Three generations of women who always, always had each other’s backs.
The ways in which we had grown together over the years made me proud.
And I couldn’t wait to see my little sister embark on this next chapter of her brand-new life.
There was the tiniest bit of a chill in the air, but the sun was bright, and the water was so still it looked like you could walk right out on it. Caroline was motioning for us to all hurry up, but we took our time. This was Emerson’s day. Everyone could wait.
She shuffled us over to the side of the building into a little holding room where no one could see us.
I peeked out the pane of glass at the top of the swinging door and could see the inside of the stark wood building with its tall, peaked ceiling—which, hundreds of years ago, had been converted from the hull of a ship.
Rows of elegant white folding chairs were filled with people we knew and loved and lined with bouquets bursting with color that mirrored the elegant flower arch that covered the main event: The massive doors to the Yacht House were thrown open to reveal the spectacular beauty of the water and Starlite Island beyond.
My sister and her fiancé would take their place up there.
“Okay!” Caroline said. “Mother of the bride! It’s your cue!”
Mom kissed Emerson as the string quartet, which was located on the landing off the upper entrance about twenty feet above the guests’ heads, began playing Pachelbel’s Canon in D, filling the space with sweet sound.
Caroline took one of my hands and Emerson the other as the two handsomest boys to ever walk the face of the earth, one in a pair of white linen shorts and knee socks with a sports coat that he had deemed way too babyish, and the other in his very first tuxedo, each took one of my mother’s hands and walked her down the aisle.
Protocol would dictate that she had a pew to herself, but our mother had requested to sit with her grandsons.
My eyes filled with tears of happiness—and then another contraction ripped through me, this one making me double over.
Emerson looked alarmed. “Sloane! You are not okay!”
“She’s obviously in labor,” Caroline said, as if Emerson was dense.
“Caroline!” I scolded.
“Sloane!” Emerson said. “You have to get to the hospital.”
I shook my head. “Not until you’re married. Then I’ll go. I’m not missing this.”
“You can’t keep secrets like this from us!” she said.
“Oh, can’t I?” I asked.
Caroline lined up the rest of the bridesmaids and pushed them out the door as I said, “I do believe that you, Ms. Emerson Murphy, might just have a secret of your own.”
“What?” Caroline asked.
“She is clearly pregnant,” I said.
Emerson grinned, and Caroline went a little bit… white. That was so strange. Of everyone, I would think Caroline would be the most excited.
“It’s okay,” Emerson said. “I know. I’m good.”
I didn’t understand what was happening between them, but before we could discuss further, a booming voice said, “Well, ladies, I can take it from here.”
Jack. Our dad. So strange. So handsome in his tux. He kissed us all, one at a time. I peeked out the door again, and in a hilarious turn of events, Tyler was holding Carter, waiting for her cue.
“We have to go,” Caroline said.
We each kissed our sister on one cheek and, bouquets in hand, side by side, walked and stood at the end of the wooden aisle, co-matrons of honor.
I turned to Tyler and Carter. “Thank you,” I whispered.
He grinned at me. Carter had always loved Tyler, and it made me a little sad that he and Vivi had broken up.
“She goes right after us,” Caroline said.
“Right before my mommy,” Carter said in her sweet little four-year-old voice.
Caroline and I began to walk toward the dazzling sight of the sun dancing on the water, framed by what seemed like a million brilliantly hued flowers.
I grabbed her arm as another contraction struck at the worst possible time, trying to stay upright, trying to keep smiling.
She put her hand on mine, making me strong.
She always had. She always would. And, in that moment, I prayed with all my heart that my children would have this sort of bond, that they would have siblings who would walk through fire for them. Just like I did.