41. Emerson Break A Leg
emerson: break a leg
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO. I had done an above-average job today, I thought, of ignoring the fact that I was getting married and that my biological father wasn’t here to walk me down the aisle.
It helped that I was insanely busy trying to get everyone ready—including a particularly ornery little girl, who, thank God, had finally been happy in the arms of her great love, Tyler.
The girl had good taste. I’d give her that.
Plus, I was trying to pull off a gigantic surprise for the sister who absolutely could not, would not, be surprised.
So that was tricky. I thought we had managed it.
But we’d see. And now, Sloane was in labor. Perfect. Why wouldn’t she be?
For a second, a beat of a beat, I wondered why I had put myself through this.
Kyle and I were great. We were perfect. We had our baby girl, and our whole beautiful life together.
I didn’t care about being married. But he did.
I was doing this for him, really. And maybe a little for my mom, bless her heart, who had raised us not to be the kind of women who got pregnant before we were married.
Oops. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, times two. It wasn’t like I didn’t love being the center of attention.
But, well, usually when I was the center of attention, I didn’t have to feel so sad about who wasn’t there.
Jack put his arm around my shoulder, and I didn’t even mind that he was mussing my hair. “How you holding up?”
I looked up at him, and seeing the real concern in his face made me a little misty. “This is hard,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
He nodded. “I know.” He pulled me close to him and said, “Sweetheart, I didn’t know your dad that well. I was kind of the competition.” He winked at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh through my tears. “But I know he would have been so proud of you.”
I nodded. I believed he would have been.
Dad was the one who was most supportive of my acting; he was the one whose last words to me were Hey, Em, break a leg.
The memory of that had kept me going in acting far beyond what I might have done otherwise.
I wanted to make him proud. I didn’t want to let him down.
But, also, somehow, the memory of those words kept me close to him, kept him alive for me.
Jack pulled away and looked down at me. “Emerson, I know this is your day. But I have to tell you that, besides marrying your mom, getting to walk you down the aisle is the single greatest moment of my life. So it’s sort of my day, too.”
He teared up, and I couldn’t help but cry just a little because it was so sweet.
He handed me a handkerchief, and I realized then how much this man meant to me.
The beginning had been hard, sure. Knowing that he was my sisters’ actual, biological father and would only ever be my stepfather had pierced me so hard I didn’t think I’d ever get over it. And yet, here we were.
I hugged him, not worrying about my hair or makeup.
“I love you so much,” I said. “You have been more to this family than I can put into words. I’m so happy to have you as my children’s grandfather.
I’m so happy to have you as my…” I paused for a second, stumbling over the word.
But then I said “Dad.” Not stepdad. Because that’s what he had become to me, really, blood or no.
And I knew that my real dad wouldn’t want me to be sad or to hold another man a few feet away to protect him even though he was gone.
Even if it was Jack. I felt like my dad was there with us, blessing this moment that he would have loved so very much.
“The necklace looks beautiful with your wedding gown,” Jack said, smiling, so clearly proud of this incredibly special and thoughtful gift, true, antique family heirlooms he had created for each of us.
I smiled. “I never take it off. None of us do. Sometimes when I’m feeling fancy I wear Carter’s too.” I winked at him, and he laughed.
Jonathan, the real wedding planner, who had had to take orders from Caroline, the fake wedding planner, who had actually done all the work, opened the little swinging door so Jack and I could watch Carter walk down the aisle, throwing petals wildly into the air as the crowd laughed.
Jack kissed my cheek. “I love you,” he said. “And I caught that children. We’ll come back to that.”
I laughed and wiped my eyes, eyeing my daughter curiously as she walked up to Vivi and handed her something.
It looked like a rose petal at first glance, but I was pretty sure it was a piece of paper.
Then she put her arms up for Vivi to hold her, which was adorable but not on script.
She was supposed to go sit with Mom, Taylor, and AJ.
But Vivi handed her flowers to the bridesmaid beside her and picked up Carter.
Jack and I both audibly exhaled and then laughed. As Trumpet Voluntary began to play, I took a deep breath. “Jack,” I said, “Sloane is in labor.”
He laughed. “Then I guess we’d better get this show on the road.”
I had so many things to hold in my mind right then.
But as we walked down the aisle, surrounded by so many people we loved, I stopped worrying about my daughter and my sister and my dad, who I hoped was somewhere in heaven with angel’s wings like the ones I had been wearing when I found out he was stuck in a tower that was doomed.
I looked down the aisle at the man who held my heart so gently, who understood me so deeply, who loved me so passionately.
And all of a sudden, I realized that this wedding hadn’t been a mistake.
Not at all. In that moment, I couldn’t wait to be forever united to the man who felt like he was meant for me.
As I glanced up at Jack, ever so briefly, as I saw how ecstatic he was to be sharing this moment with me, I couldn’t help but feel the same about him.