36. Becca
Holy shit.
I thought I was good with my vibrator, but clearly, I’m missing out. I’m still breathing heavily, trying to get all of my limbs to function as Miller takes care of the condom in the bathroom.
I still haven’t regained the ability to talk when he reappears, so I just wave. He holds up a new foil packet and winks. “Just in case.”
I think he’s joking until I look down at his crotch, and there he is, ready to go again. I’m not sure how he’s hard again this quickly after what I would consider mind-blowing sex. It’s pretty damn impressive. Can all guys do that?
As a doctor, I should really know the answer to that question. Maybe I should do some research right now, see how things work when you go for a second round this soon after finishing. I was ready for another orgasm pretty quickly after Miller went down on me, so maybe some guys are the same.
He tucks the condom under the pillow and slides under the covers. “Come here,” he beckons, holding his arm out to the side.
Part of me wants to snuggle up to him, to see just what he’d do. Would he take me with the same energy, his alpha male personality taking over? Would it be slow and sweet? Quick and dirty?
There’s a tingle between my legs at the thought of either of these options.
I chew on my lower lip as an idea forms. He completely dominated the situation last time, and god knows the alpha male thing was fucking hot.
But not this time.
This one is mine.
Wordlessly, I push on his shoulder until he’s fully on his back, and then I straddle him. He has a foot of height and easily eighty pounds on me, but there’s something hot about him letting me take control for a change.
Miller leans back against the pillow, an amused grin on his face. “You think you’re in charge now, huh?”
I sit back on my heels, my knees on either side of his legs. God, it’s a heady feeling, isn’t it? The man who could easily overpower you, laying back and letting you take over, like he’s putty in your hands.
“For now,” I say, my gaze raking over his body. I run my fingers down his chest, over the defined muscles. “How do you get muscles like this?”
He cracks a smile. “Lots of time in the gym. You should come with me sometime. I bet your ass looks fantastic in spandex.”
My ass hasn’t seen the inside of the gym in years, but now isn’t the time to get into that.
I shift backward to get a better look at him. How is Miller hard again? His cock seems even more imposing from this angle. But I want this. More than want it.
I want him. And I want to make it good for him, to prove that I know what I’m doing.
I scoot back further to get the right angle. I may have been celibate for years, but I don’t forget things. So this is like riding a bike, right?
I dip my head and swirl my tongue over the head of his cock.
Miller groans. “Fuck, Becs.”
I smile. There’s something about bringing a man to his knees, as it were. “Stay here.”
I climb off the bed and walk to the bathroom. For the first time in all the times I’ve been with men, I’m not ashamed of my body. I know I don’t have a flat stomach, my boobs aren’t as perky as someone who doesn’t have my C cups, and my ass is… generous, to say the least. But this time, I’m not grabbing for a robe or a shirt or a towel or something to hide my body.
Because Miller likes my body. So maybe I do, too.
In the bathroom I pull open that drawer, thanking God for Lori Quinlan. The lube might be a little over the top, but stocking condoms for her son? It shows just how close of a relationship they have, and also that we don’t need to be embarrassed or make sure no one hears us.
I grab an extra condom from the box and one of the bottles of lube, double checking to make sure it’s not banana. If I gag, it’s not going to be because of the flavor.
I carry my loot back to the bed. The condom goes under the pillow with the one Miller brought back, just in case.
Miller is in the same spot, cock standing at attention as I straddle him again. “Find what you were looking for?” he asks, grinning.
I hold up the sugar cookie lube. “I did. Now shut up and let me enjoy myself.”
He groans audibly. The sound does something to me, awakens something more inside me. I did this to him. I made him hard. I can make him lose control.
Fuck, it’s a really good feeling.
I drizzle the slippery liquid over his hard cock. He hisses at the cold, then groans again when I use my hand to spread it around.
I lower my head and dart my tongue out to taste him.
Mmm.
So much fucking better than banana cream. Miller’s taste all on its own is something I could get addicted to. The sugar cookie lube adds an interesting sweetness.
I take the head of his cock into my mouth and suck him deep.
“Fuck, Becs,” he grinds out.
I pull off of him and smirk. “You like that?”
He gives me a heady look. “Get the fuck back down there and keep going or I won’t be held responsible for what happens.”
I kind of want to know what would happen. What he’d do to me if I pushed him too far. If he’d flip me onto my back, retake control, and fuck me into submission.
But I’m drunk with power as I take him deep into my mouth, his length hitting the back of my throat. I suppress the urge to gag and swallow to get him deeper.
“Christ, babe,” he groans. “Fuck, that’s so good. So fucking good, Becs.”
I grin around his cock as I work my mouth up and down. Then, on a high that only comes from being in control, I move to his balls and suck those into my mouth, too.
“Fu—I’m going to—” Miller gasps.
I look him in the eye as I run my tongue along his length.
“Becs, if I don’t get inside you in the next minute, I really can’t be held accountable for what I do,” he insists.
“Like what?” I lazily run my tongue over the head of his cock.
A muscle in his jaw ticks. “Like flip you over onto your back and have my way with you, woman.”
“Really?” I make no attempt to change my rhythm, but my stomach flips at the thought of him manhandling me.
Miller’s hips jerk. “Yeah. Don’t tempt me. But Jesus, your mouth.” His head falls back against the pillow.
The sugar cookie lube is pretty good, actually. I could hang out down here, teasing Miller, for hours. But even I know you can only push a man so far.
I slide over him, gripping his hard cock with one fist, until it notches at my entrance.
Miller flexes his hips, and I move with him, controlling every movement.
“You want to be inside me?” I ask, my voice teasing.
“Don’t fucking push me, babe,” he says, flexing his hips again so that the head of his cock, the one that’s covered in sugar cookie lube, presses into me enough to make me moan.
“Condom,” I manage to say. I had plans of taking care of that myself, being one of those sexually experienced women who know what they’re doing when it comes to protection, but right now all I want is Miller buried deep inside me, so I make no move to reach for the packet.
He reaches under the pillow and holds up the foil square. “God, I can’t wait until I can take you bare. I can only fucking imagine.”
I take the condom from him and open it, rolling it down his length as he lets out a groan. I position myself over him and let the tip of his cock slip inside me.
Miller’s hands grip my hips. He pulls me down, impaling me on his cock as I moan loudly.
Fuck. I’m so… full, for lack of a better word. Not just physically. Somehow, this entire experience is filling me up emotionally, and maybe that’s weird to say, but Miller’s so inside me.
I hold onto his shoulders as I ride him, slowly at first, then moving faster. His eyes close as I grind back and forth, a groan slipping past his lips.
When his abs clench, I slow my pace, teasing him until hands grip my hips. His fingers press into my flesh—not enough to hurt, but tight enough that when he moves his hands, I move, and even though I’m the one on top, he’s controlling our movements. Leading me.
I close my eyes and let him direct my hips as he brings them up and down, his length pressing against my clit with every thrust, until I’m wound so tight I’m about to explode.
I open my eyes, panting, and look down at Miller to see the same euphoric bliss written across his face. “I’m going to come,” I say, breathless.
He doesn’t respond, but he moves me faster and harder against him, using my body to bring us both to another earth-shattering climax.
—
I’ve always needed my space when sleeping, but when I wake up, I’m still curled in Miller’s arms. After we recovered, we had sex again, slower and sweeter, and after I came once more—I’ve lost count at this point of how many orgasms I had last night—I slipped into the deepest, most restful sleep I’ve had in years.
He opens his eyes and smiles at me. “Hey, Becs. Morning.”
“Morning,” I whisper back. I’m not sure what else to say, my brain spiraling with what-ifs.
“Whoa,” Miller says, tapping my forehead. “What’s going on in there?”
“Nothing,” I respond quickly.
Miller snorts, but before I can say anything, he’s flipped me onto my back and is kneeling over me, his hands holding my wrists gently by my head. He leans down over me. “You’re getting in your head, Becs. We’re good. Don’t freak out.”
I’m not freaking out. Am I freaking out? My heart is hammering in my chest, and my mouth is dry, but I’m pretty sure that’s a result of the way he’s holding me right now.
Does he want to have sex again?
I take inventory. My body is sore, but just thinking about him taking me again has the blood settling between my legs.
I flex my hips up. “Do you want to—”
Miller frowns, and my face falls as my heart drops to the ground.
Was it not good for him? Does he not want to be with me?
“I don’t want to fuck you, Becs,” he says, confirming what I already knew, but then he continues. “I mean, Christ, I do want to fuck you, over and over, but that’s not what this is. I want to make you breakfast. Talk about things. Be there for you.”
My heart beats faster as I try to figure out what he’s saying.
“Becs, I don’t want just a one-time thing, and I don’t want to be friends. I want a relationship with you. This is serious for me.”
My heart leaps, then immediately crashes to the ground. Because that’s what I want, too. And because every way I’ve thought about it, I’ve come to one conclusion: long-distance isn’t going to work with my schedule.
And so far, everything between us has been put on Miller. He’s the one who made the first moves. He’s the one who was there for me, at camp and at school, the one I leaned on. The one who always cheers me up.
And a relationship is supposed to be equal. It can’t always be one person doing things for the other. If we try for something long-distance, it’ll all be on him again. He’ll have to be the one to travel to see me, to wait for my calls. It’s not fair.
I swallow hard. “Miller, I want that too. But…” I bite my lip, something inside me dying as his face falls. “I can’t be in a long-distance relationship with you.”