34. Jack
THIRTY-FOUR
Jack
Nat couldn’t get out of there fast enough. We ignored the stares of nosy guests who needed to mind their own business as I pulled her to the side of the building. I wanted it to be just us. Unfortunately, it was us and the tension that felt like a physical presence.
I hated the way Nat was guarding herself. Her posture was rigid, and she had a deer-in-the-headlights look that quickly transitioned to her I’ve-had-enough glare that I knew all too well.
I’d witnessed so many aspects of her personality.
The soft, vulnerable parts. Her worries about being too much.
The joyful parts when we were happy together, joking around, or holding one another in the early hours of the morning.
The way she needed competition and the fierceness with which she dedicated her whole self to it.
She challenged me like no one ever had, and the spark Gia had mentioned we’d lacked in our past relationship was never in question with Nat.
There was this unequivocal need to be in her orbit.
Sometimes, that looked like pushing her buttons.
Other times, it made me want to pull out the smile she shared with only me.
Without her, an ever-present hole expanded in my chest, and it was all my fault because I’d pushed her away. I was the reason she was gone.
That was nothing compared to the way her spark had dimmed just from being around her family for a night. It was dimmer than I’d ever seen it. It made me want to hold her tighter.
I couldn’t believe my ears when Nat’s mother had called her a stain on their family’s reputation. Her stepfather had actually used the word embarrassment, and I’d nearly lost it.
Nat had proven she was so much more. Her family clearly had no respect for the life she’d built.
They didn’t see the hard work, all the thoughtful ways she crafted stories and shared them with the world.
Her artistic eye and the care and respect she showed everyone she met.
The heart she led with at Camp Starlight and beyond.
None of it mattered to them. And yet she’d come back here, to be treated like that?
My blood boiled. My hands clenched. I would have done anything to take her pain away.
Even with my messed-up family situation—the messy divorce, the way my mom and dad pitted us against each other—at least no one questioned what I chose to do with my life.
Unlike with Nat’s family, where they seemed to want her only if she fell perfectly into step. I didn’t understand it. I never would.
But I did understand her better, especially when it came to the weight of the expectations put on her and how difficult it must have been when she’d finally gone against her family. Her light was undeniably brighter when she was at camp, and if I were lucky, I’d get to see that light again.
“Are you okay?” I pressed my hand to her cheek, noticing how hot and sticky it felt after some rogue tears had escaped.
Nat tilted her chin down as if she didn’t want to meet my eyes, and I hoped I hadn’t ruined this already. “That was mortifying.”
“I’m so sorry, but I had to say something.” She could fight her own battles, but I also couldn’t sit by and watch someone tear her down like that.
Nat’s eyes widened. “Not you. Them.”
I could see now how little support Nat must have had since choosing herself.
My heart broke for her. She needed so much more love and acceptance than she’d received.
Yet she’d somehow still carried herself with grace despite the scraps she’d been given.
I wanted to spoil her with it and show her she deserved so much better than she got.
Based on what I’d been told, her sister seemed to love her, and she clearly wanted her there, but her parents were missing out on knowing their amazing daughter.
Nat’s wet eyes pinned me in place. She let me hold her hand, but her voice was small. “You were right, I do pick the wrong people. And I did it again.” She looked down at her feet and said it as if she were the one to blame.
“No, that’s not it. Natalie, listen to me.
I was an idiot.” I tipped her chin up, and she looked at me with desperation in her eyes.
“I never should have treated you the way I did. I’m sorry for the animosity I built between us, and I’m sorry that I called you a cheater.
Also, for saying a meteor should have destroyed your cake.
And for replacing pipe cleaners in the craft cabin with rubber snakes. ”
Nat gaped at me, glaring daggers. “I knew that was you.”
This confession might not be going exactly as I imagined, but I had to stay on point. I turned the little keychain over and over in my other hand, my fidgeting going unnoticed. When I tore my hand out of my pocket to run my fingers through my hair, the keychain clattered onto the pavement.
Nat let out a teary snort as she bent down to pick up the little frog. Her face lit up as she dangled the charm in front of my face. “I didn’t realize you had a stowaway.”
“Bernice wanted to come. And I knew I’d need all the luck I could get for this.”
Nat’s body softened, and she met my eyes. A wave of emotions slammed into me, but I took a breath. I had to get it all out.
“Listen, I’m so sorry I pushed you away.
The truth is, I was scared. Scared to risk everything again.
I thought love and I were not compatible, and each of my failed relationships only proved that.
After Gia, I convinced myself that it was better to avoid it altogether.
I just thought there was no way I was going to put myself on the line for love again, but you made me realize that you’re worth risking it all for.
You’re the one I want to be good enough for.
No, not just good enough. I want to be worthy of you.
I want to put my all into each day to prove to you over and over again that I can be the man you deserve. ”
I grabbed Nat’s hand and brought it to my lips, kissing it gently. Her nails were newly polished in a subdued pink color, instead of a bright one, like she usually wore. It wasn’t her. None of this was.
“I was wrong. You picked the right person. And I’m so sorry, princess.
I’m sorry I froze that night. I’m sorry I didn’t hold you and kiss you and say it back.
Because I do love you, Natalie. I’m so in love with you it hurts.
And I want you to move in with me for real, if you want.
Maybe that’s too fast?” I pushed on before she could answer me.
I hadn’t meant to blurt that one out, even if it was true.
“What I’m trying to say is, I’m all in. I want to be your person, because you’re already mine.
I want to be your landing place. And I’m not going to fight this anymore. ”
Now it was Nat’s turn to make me wait an agonizingly long time, during which I nearly turned tail and ran, until suddenly she was in my arms.
“You love me?” Her voice wavered as she stared into my eyes. She knew how to break me apart and put me back together with one look. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. It pained me that she’d question it and that it had taken me so long to come to this conclusion when it was so obvious. But I never shied away from hard work, and if Nat needed more, I’d prove it to her every single day.
“Yeah, Nat, I’m sure. I know what I need now. And it’s you.”
She smiled, and it filled me with hope. “Even when I ruin a good song by playing it to death?” She threw my words back at me, but there was no heat in them.
“Silence is overrated.”
“What about when I can’t go to sleep until our space is cleaned?”
“Well, you know I have insomnia, so I won’t be going to bed until then, anyway. We can do it together.”
“That’s the hottest thing you’ve ever—”
Our lips found each other, our bodies melding as if we were two magnets finally coming together.
I ran my fingers up the side of her face and clung to her as she tightened her hold around my neck.
I never wanted to let her go. She gave me one more kiss and held onto me, as I looked deep into her eyes.
“I’m not moving in with you. Pretty sure it’s too soon for us to live together.”
I loved that her attitude was back. That teasing tone I wanted to hear forever.
I pulled back and looked at her face. All her tears had dried up.
She was so beautiful. My thumb glided across the apple of her cheek.
Nat loves me. She wanted this, too. The thought filled the aching chasm in my chest, making me feel secure.
Everything clicked into place. I never wanted to let her go.
She’d been right all along. This was worth fighting for, and I’d spend my days proving that to her.
“As long as you’re coming back to Starlight, I’ll be happy.” I tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled. “You’ll always have family there, and you’ll always have me.” I kissed her softly before taking her hand. “Come on, princess, let’s go home.”