8. Autumn
eight
Autumn
Jack and Gia extended an invitation to hang out at his cabin before our pod dinners, but I turned them down so they could have some time alone.
I adored my best friend’s girlfriend. She possessed a witty sense of humor and a loving, free spirit.
Allocating the time to get out here to visit was difficult ever since she found a job as a full-time veterinarian in Portland, and Jack was always busy with camp.
Jack was a romantic. His mantra regarding love was to put yourself out there and trust it’ll work out, but that had me wondering if that meant he was ready to take their relationship to the next level. If he’d truly leave, for good.
One crisis at a time.
Memories of Jamie’s carefree gaze and lackadaisical smile took over as I paced my cabin like an anxious performer.
If I had more time, I’d have burned off this restless energy in the lake, but that would have to wait until after campfire.
This week would go off like all the others.
Just because he was here didn’t have to mean anything would be different.
And I didn’t want to take away from his experience.
Camp would be good for him. Camp was good for everyone.
I was a firm believer that no matter your career or your hobbies, you could find something to fall in love with here.
Steam filled the cottage-style bathroom as I stepped into the hot shower. Ax throwing rarely got me this hot and bothered, but seeing Jamie? I grinned at myself, remembering his face as we retrieved his ax from the lake. He may have been more off-kilter than I was. And that was saying something.
Was I ready to let this man back into my life, even for a week? It seemed like a risk being in the same state as the person who’d destroyed my heart. And my traitorous body still lusting after him was a definite no-no.
The truth, which was hard to admit, was I’d enjoyed flirting with him earlier today.
No one had interested me in a long time, and even if it was someone I had history with, I wanted to do it more.
It wasn’t like we were going to date or anything.
I also wanted to get to know this new Jamie.
We were so different from who we were back then.
Not to mention it had been a decade since he broke my heart. I’d moved on. For the most part.
At least I’d be prepared next time I saw him.
Towel-clad and lotioned up, I smelled more confident than I felt.
I needed something else. Rooting around through my DIY teal vanity drawers, I successfully located the shoebox brimming with hair accessories and makeup.
Questionable expiration dates of cute bottles of half-used pinks and purples lined the countertop.
Separated lotions that just required a shake or two, random concealers in different shades, and something glittery with the hint of a strawberry scent.
I used it. All of it. It was strange applying makeup when my usual routine consisted of sunblock and lip balm.
Sometimes, if I felt fancy, a swipe of waterproof mascara.
I found the trusty mascara and applied my pink lip gloss last. I felt pumped and ready to take on whatever tonight offered.
I dug through all my cherished flannels and cozy sweatshirts until, nestled between bandanas and T-shirts, I spotted it.
As I held the top against myself in the mirror, my heart thudded.
I’d need to wear a real bra instead of a sports bra.
I didn’t know if my boobs knew how to mold into that shape anymore, but the alternative was a sports bra with guaranteed sweat at the hem after five minutes of wearing it.
Am I actually gross?
Laughter echoed all around me. As beautiful and serene as they were, our cabins weren’t soundproof. One laugh in particular caught my attention.
I scurried over to my kitchen window, where I had the best view of the guests milling about.
If I craned my neck daringly enough, I could make out the walkway to the craft cabin where Nat was hosting her paint and wine night.
Jamie’s laugh carried like my own personal siren’s call.
Palms pressed firmly onto the kitchen counter, I watched the campers as they walked through the sliver of trees like a creep.
Walking and chatting with his friend, he effortlessly blended in.
He looked like he belonged here, too, a vision that both captivated and unsettled me.
Without taking the time to analyze it, I slid on the skirt and sandals combination that made my legs look longer than they were.
A moment later, mind made up, I strode into Nat’s Paint and Sip class.
I walked through the doors and found that Jamie’s table was already full.
Of course it was. His friend sat at a different table in the back.
Cheryl, Terry, Kell-y, and Jamie were just getting familiar with the paint colors already squeezed out on the individual pallets for them.
There were brushes out and well- loved mason jars half full of water.
Blotches of different paint showcased all their use.
There was an open spot up front next to Janna. Perfect. I knew both Janna and Kell-y, and they were one of the couples I’d bet on ending up together because they had so much in common. After all, how many people listed writing fanfic on one of our forms? Yes, this would work.
I strode up to Kell-y and made my move. “Kell-y, hey, did you see Janna up front, over there? I was thinking the two of you could hang out a little more, since you’re pod mates and all.”
Kell-y didn’t hesitate. She looked up at me with no suspicion and smiled brightly. “Yeah, good idea.”
She hopped up eagerly, waving goodbye to her table. Sunshine followed her as she moved to take a spot next to Janna, and the two of them immediately hit it off, just like I knew they would. Jamie looked stunned but not at all fooled by my blatant move.
“Permission to approach the bench?” I asked. He rolled his eyes, but it didn’t hide the tug of his lips into a smile.
I took my seat with self-satisfaction radiating from me. The old me never would have orchestrated moving people around to get what she wanted. No, she would have stayed back, quiet, and waited her turn like a good girl.
Nat tilted her chin toward me. No doubt she’d heard.
Taking the recently evacuated chair, I felt her curious eyes on me.
I gave her a look that I hoped conveyed “I dress up every time I come to this class.” I tried not to look down at my beloved first date blouse, wondering how I could avoid getting paint splatter on it by the end of this.
After painting countless cabins, I’d accepted that I was a messy painter.
Jamie seemed to give me the same sort of look, all too aware. Then his eyebrow went up, and charming Jamie came out to play.
“You don’t want to sit next to me,” he said, his grin as self-assured as I remembered.
“Really?” I put my chin in my hand and my elbow on the table. “Why’s that?”
“I don’t want to make you feel bad.” He leaned down to speak with his chest puffed out. “Next to my canvas, you’ll be sporting hot garbage.”
“Sure, Monet, let’s see what you’ve got,” I said, knowing he’d rise to the challenge.
“All right, everyone, have some wine, check out the display picture, and let’s get started,” Nat instructed.
She gave step-by-step directions as we began painting a hillside with grass first.
“Confession time,” I said conspiratorially. “I still haven’t read The Hobbit .”
“But you’ve seen the movie?”
“Of course, why do you think I’ve been able to create such a flawless hobbit hole?
” I tapped my brush against the circle I’d just created for what was supposed to be a perfectly round door.
The finished picture would be a hobbit house tucked into a flower-covered hillside.
It was colorful and serene. Now, if only I could get this hole to look like a circle.
I looked over at Jamie’s canvas as if I were cheating on a test. He caught my eyes and smiled brightly.
God, it still warmed me up seeing him smile at me like that.
I bumped his paint arm, and he tried to hold back a laugh as his brush dipped a little extra green onto his hillside.
He continued his line, ignoring the smudge.
“You’re not going to fix it?”
“It’s basically impeccable. Yours, however…” He pushed my elbow, causing my paintbrush to jolt against my canvas. My beautiful blue sky had a slash of a lighter blue through it now, and one of my hillside flowers became a harsh smudge. I couldn’t hold back my snorting laughter.
“I can’t with you,” I teased, and he playfully jostled my shoulder again, taking me back to us in his converted den playing video games when we couldn’t study anymore. I wondered what his life was like now. “ How’s your family doing? Is Patricia still volunteering at the Seattle Humane Society?”
“No, she’s working at the one in Portland. She and my dad moved to be closer to my sister and her kids a couple of years ago.”
“So, Marley had kids?”
“They’re incredible.” He whipped out his phone like the good uncle he was and showed me their pictures.
The Jamie I’d known had taken a lot for granted, but this recognition that he was making enough of an effort with his family showed that things might be different.
“I’m jealous. I’ve always wanted to be an aunt.”
“And you still don’t want kids of your own?” he asked.
“You can blame that on the abandonment issues,” I said, pasting on a grin after realizing the conversation had taken a turn for the serious. “Things have gotten better with my mom. I get calls on my birthday and Christmas now. That’s an upgrade.”
Jamie paused what he was doing and looked me dead in the eye. “You know, you don’t have to make light of it. I know how things can get with your mom.”