8. Autumn #2
I almost shut him down. Almost. But he’d known more than anyone how tough my childhood had been and everything I kept bottled up when it came to the subject of the woman who’d given birth to me.
As if he’d sensed that it’d been too much, he tapped a red paintbrush onto my painting and created a small patch of flowers. “So, how are Yasmine and Liz?”
I nearly dropped my paintbrush, my mouth open wide. “I didn’t even know you knew their names.”
Jamie nodded somberly. “I guess I wasn’t great with them.”
The sincerity in his eyes nearly had me melting, and it was confusing as hell. Back when we dated, I’d used to hang out with his friends all the time, but he hadn’t made an effort with mine. Back then, I’d brushed it off, but now, I felt like he had undervalued my friendships.
“They’re good. Yasmine just adopted her foster daughter, and Liz just won second runner-up in the Seattle Film Festival.”
“Wow. Well, if you must know, Ezra is probably stoned right now, Thomas is selling fake IDs, and Gabe absconded to Barcelona with a Spanish flight attendant.” Straight-faced, Jamie didn’t appear upset by this.
“Wait, really?”
“No. Your friends are just more interesting. They have normal lives and are still living near the old alma mater. You know what? I lied. Ezra probably is stoned right now, but to each their own.”
I laughed loud enough to catch Nat’s attention, and she met my eyes and pinned me with a look.
Lips pursed, she spoke to me without words.
I didn’t know her well. She was our newest counselor, and we’d been ships passing in the night.
Rumor had it, she might not be returning next year.
Her big brown eyes told me, “Mess around with my class, I’ll mess around with yours.
” I gulped. Something in her look told me she’d be backing it up.
I looked over at Jamie’s canvas. We might be a few steps behind, but we could still pull this off.
A charming little hobbit door and welcoming walkway later and Jamie grinned at me.
“There. What did I say?” He turned his picture toward me, presenting it.
“Well, it’s certainly not hot garbage.”
“Thanks. And your painting skills are on point as well, counselor.” He eyed my bright color-bomb of a hobbit hole. The streak he’d made in my sky was now joined by a couple of more intentional ones, making the sky look like it was full of shooting stars.
“Why, thank you, counselor.” Both of us busted up laughing again.
Resting my hand on his shoulder, I gasped to catch my breath.
I shouldn’t be touching him, laughing with him like this, but Jamie had always had this hold on me.
A way of making any situation more fun and drawing out my silly side. Cheeks sore, I worked to recover.
“Do I need to kick you two out?” Nat’s sculpted eyebrow arched up threateningly.
“Just her,” he said at the same time I called out, “Just him.”
Our laughter rang out with renewed vigor at the jinx. Now we had our entire table laughing. Even Nat couldn’t fight it anymore, letting out a chuffed laugh before she shook her head and aggressively plunged her paintbrush into the water. I’d have to make it up to her later.
“I mean, I’d live there.” I gestured toward his lopsided door in the hillside.
“You’re living in the woods now, so that’s not a surprise.” He winked.
I immediately remembered the first time I met Jamie, day one of freshman year on the speech and debate team.
He’d flashed his eyes and said, “Show me what you got.”
It had been an exercise in impromptu speaking, and I hadn’t prepared, but as a seasoned sophomore, he’d goaded me into annihilating him.
He’d complimented my delivery and wanted to bounce ideas off each other, which spurred me on to do even better.
He’d distract me relentlessly when we were up against each other in debate but had been my biggest fan.
This man next to me had changed since I’d known him. And yet, his teasing and competitive nature all reminded me that some things never change, including the way he made me smile. The way he looked way too kissable, too sexy, too everything I didn’t need this week.
Janna and Kell-y were having a great time deep in conversation comparing their favorite OTPs, whatever that meant. The class was conversing and painting, clearly enjoying themselves, and my cheeks were starting to hurt.
I needed to get a hold of myself. Laughing together like this was a strange, wonderful whiplash into memory lane.
Back in school, he’d been the first to crack a joke that would have the whole class roaring, the first to show me there was more to school than just studying, that we could study and make out, that we could push each other to do even better, the first to…
This man was even sexier than I remembered.
And even entertaining thoughts like that was dangerous.
“So you’re not living in a hobbit hole, obviously, but you’ve got to get out of the office sometimes, right?”
“Well, I haven’t been camping or to any place like this before,” he admitted, then his eyes filled with wonder.
“I just mean, it’s nice here, peaceful. I’ve been living the dream, working all the time, getting closer to partner every day.
I’m thriving at work, but it has its costs, too, you know?
And some of that is not seeing my family as much as I’d like. ”
The memory of his family trying to get more face time with him lingered in the back of my mind. Marley begging him to take her to the movies, his mom pushing for more family dinners. But Jamie had always had other plans that took precedence.
“You didn’t hang out with them much when we were kids,” I blurted without thinking.
A sobering look passed over his face. “Yeah, I sort of took that all for granted. But now that we’re miles apart, I can really feel that, you know?
” He dipped his paintbrush into the cloudy water, and a ripple of blue expanded in the concoction.
“When it comes to friends, family… I’ve been taking a look at the decisions I’ve made, and I think I may have put some important things on the back burner when they should have been a priority, you know?
Sometimes, my goals make it difficult to see the bigger picture.
I can get a little hyper-focused and lose myself in the day-to-day of it all. ”
That was a surprising thing to hear from his lips.
“That’s the good thing about being here. It’s easy to forget your responsibilities. There’s something about being out in nature to help rejuvenate and reprioritize. Or so I’m told.” I wiped my paintbrush dry on a paper towel, blowing away the lock of hair that fell in front of my face.
Jamie blinked slowly for reasons I didn’t understand before he nodded, lips tipped up in that too-kissable way—another reason this might be a terrible idea. I wasn’t sure how I felt, but I wasn’t ready for it to end.