9. Jamie
nine
Jamie
I’d always been a morning person.
I’d been like this since I was a kid. I did sports that required morning practices, took early classes in college, and usually made it to the office by eight after a workout at six in the morning . So waking up at five-thirty for yoga on a Sunday wasn’t a problem.
There was sunrise yoga every morning, which I’d looked forward to since Ren told me about it in an attempt to sell me on our vacation. When I asked him if he’d like to join, he’d told me that he’d rather be eaten by a black bear. So it was just me for the time being.
The camp was gloriously quiet as everyone slept.
I didn’t see a soul around, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to believe that I was completely alone if not for the birds dancing on the branches above me and the breeze blowing through the trees.
The Meditation Meadow was at the far end of the camp, and I wondered if I’d be able to make it there on time.
But it wasn’t in me to rush before yoga.
It’d screw up my chance at relaxation and a clear mind.
So I moseyed. That’s right, moseyed . Before this, I only knew how to power walk and run.
The air was damp, and condensation gathered on the leaves and trees around me.
It reminded me of the one time I’d gone camping as a kid with a friend and his family at Lake Chelan.
I remembered waking up and shivering in my too-constricting sleeping bag as beads of water dripped along the perimeter of my tent.
As much as I’d loved that trip, I couldn’t lie: waking up in a cabin was so much better than waking up in a sweating tent.
I glanced at the oranges and pinks coming from over the trees and felt happy to be alive.
There was no comparison to seeing the sun come over Mount Hood.
These days, I only knew the city. The sounds of traffic, people yelling outside of bars, footsteps moving above my apartment from neighbors I’d never met.
So this place was… Different.
The meadow was gorgeous. It was set on a hill overlooking the lake, surrounded by trees whose leaves let in rays of sunlight.
I wasn’t the last to arrive, but most people were yawning and rubbing their eyes.
It was nothing like the first yoga session, however.
There had been some hard partying on our first night, and most people had looked ready to fall asleep or vomit that morning.
I was honestly surprised anyone had shown after gorging on s’mores and cocktails, and had been grateful that I’d fought the urge to overindulge, even though my first inclination was to lean into the impulse to get shitfaced after seeing my somehow-more-gorgeous-than-I’d-remembered ex-girlfriend.
Luckily (or unluckily) for me, Autumn had been constantly busy that night, having side conversations until finally leaving with Leo halfway through, so even when I’d gotten up the nerve to say something to her, she was gone .
But Paint and Sip gave me a spark of hope for something different from our ax-throwing meeting.
She’d been fun—even more than I’d remembered.
And although my painting looked like a three-year-old had taken a brush to it in certain areas, I’d felt a sense of accomplishment.
Autumn and I were on the precipice of something new.
She seemed happy to learn about my life, and when we nearly got in trouble, she’d leaned into it, a far cry from the way she used to be. Seeing her less regimented gave her a new kind of appeal.
I went to the back of the class, unrolled my yoga mat, and sat next to a dental hygienist from the Andromeda pod I’d met in yoga the morning before.
Just like yesterday, our leader for the morning was Sawyer, with help from a counselor named Jack.
Yesterday, Sawyer had explained that they had been on numerous yoga retreats and used to teach at a studio in their hometown before coming to Camp Starlight.
The yoga classes I’d been to before had all been inside a gym or a studio, so it was a nice change of pace to be in the outdoors, and you could read it on my classmates’ faces.
Sawyer was getting people set up and finding out about injuries or areas of the body to avoid stretching while Jack welcomed people.
“If it isn’t the most beautiful girl in the universe,” he choked out.
Something in his tone sounded sarcastic, but where was the lie?
The way her yoga pants hugged her curves had me wishing I could touch her in all the ways I used to.
We hadn’t been huge into public displays of affection when we were kids, but I’d usually had my hand on her in some way, whether on the small of her back, across her shoulders, or around her in an embrace.
I was finding it harder to ignore how my body gravitated toward hers.
Hell, I’d take a lingering hug if I could get it.
Jack scruffed his fingers through her messy hair, making my stomach muscles clench.
What was that? Jealousy? There was no way.
It’d been ten years. Even if he wasn’t her partner, I had no idea about her relationship status.
She could be with someone else at the camp or maybe in town.
She could be in a long-distance relationship (not that it had worked out so well the first time), and I wouldn’t have a clue.
Jack raised his hands dramatically and stepped back from the basket of yoga mats as Autumn grabbed one, shoved it under her arm, and turned, smacking him with it slapstick style.
It was clearly on purpose, especially with her enthusiasm.
I had no idea what was going on with her and Jack, but they were close.
Her eyes lit up when she saw me, a smile warming her features. She walked to the back of the group and dropped her mat right next to me. “Hey,” she said, her voice slightly raspy.
Everything she did was sluggish, especially the way she took me in. I’d thrown on a pair of joggers and a white T-shirt, and if I wasn’t mistaken, it was doing exactly what I’d want it to do in her presence, if I cared about that sort of thing.
Jack looked to Sawyer, who gave him the go-ahead to start class. “Hello, early birds.” He waved before looking right in our direction. “And Autumn.”
She gave her fakest fake smile before glaring daggers at him. She looked like she was calculating how far she’d have to throw him before he hit the lake.
Jack paid her no further attention. “We’re going to start in a minute, but while Sawyer finishes, let’s all do some arm stretches.”
We did so collectively, moving into leg stretches before Sawyer walked to the front of the class.
“Welcome again, everyone.” They stepped their bare feet onto their yoga mat.
I squished my feet into the ground, enjoying the sensation of a barely level earth surface with the cushy foam of my mat. Sawyer sat down and the rest of the class did as well, so I followed suit.
“Is this your first yoga session?” I asked Autumn quietly.
“No, I tried it once and thought it was stupid because my brain wouldn’t shut up.”
There was the Autumn I knew.
I wanted to ask her why she was here today, but I thought better of it. Who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth?
“I like to express my gratitude by giving thanks for this opportunity to be in this calming environment with such amazing people.” Sawyer’s tone calmed me, and I felt myself warm as they held their hand to their heart and smiled at all of us. “Let’s shift into child’s pose.”
Autumn nodded as if she was happy to do the simple pose.
She bent over and rested her shins on the mat, emitting a relaxing sigh as she curved her back and put her arms beneath herself.
A breeze blew her scent toward me, and I winced.
God, even her sweat smelled like strawberries. Strawberries and sunblock.
Deep breaths sounded from all around me before Autumn broke the silence near us, groaning. “It’s far too early in the morning for tight yoga pants. I should be back in bed wearing just…”
“Just what?”
“Huh?” She acted as though she hadn’t given herself away. “Nothing.”
God, she meant her underwear. Or maybe tiny sleep shorts. Nothing at all? Fuck, I was picturing all of those things.
Autumn yawned. “I’m wondering about the likelihood that my arms would fall asleep if I did this all day.”
“Hmm…” I rested my chin on my hand and pondered. “What are the conditions?”
“Sixty-five degrees, overcast, and I’m covered in a blanket.”
“How heavy is the blanket?” I asked.
“It’s one of those fuzzy alpaca ones.”
Sawyer didn’t seem to notice our inability to remain silent, but I promised myself we wouldn’t find ourselves in a similar situation to the one at Paint and Sip. I didn’t want to annoy all the counselors and get kicked out of this relaxing retreat.
“Now we’re going to transition into warrior pose.”
I stood up and rolled my shoulders back. “I think the likelihood is high. Now if you had said it was a lightweight quilt… ”
“I forgot you were a blanket expert.”
“Really? That’s literally how I introduce myself to people.”
Sawyer switched into tree pose, and everyone mimicked them. Autumn tried to finagle her way into putting one foot on her opposite knee, huffing as she failed to do so three times. Man, she was cute. But it was when she tried to raise her hands that it truly went to hell.
“Timber,” Jack whispered, loud enough for all of us to hear.
I had to do a double take as she snarled at him.
I burst into the quietest fit of laughter I could, but we had definitely distracted the class.
Sawyer was shaking their head at him, Autumn was glaring daggers at him, and I had both feet planted on the ground because there was no way I could keep the same pose when I was holding my sides.
I prepared to walk over to her mat, but Jack beat me to it.
“Here.” He offered his forearm for her to use to balance herself.
I moved back into the pose and looked away, but it was hard not to notice in my peripheral vision. She took a frustrated breath but went into the pose, adjusting her feet.
“Just like that, Gardner.” Jack nodded, last naming her.
I tried not to think about the fact that he had this rapport, and it gave me… Feelings. I couldn’t help it. My brain went right to him saying “just like that” in a completely different way that made me cringe. Yet again, I told myself that there was no reason to have feelings of jealousy.
She had always been a bit of a klutz when we were younger.
Once, we’d been in our speech and debate classroom, and she’d tripped on a metal desk leg, falling until I caught her, right on my lap.
It’d been the first genuine smile she’d given me, and I’d felt privileged to have captured something so special.
Feeling her on my legs hadn’t hurt matters either.
“There you go.” He left Autumn like that.
I released a breath in the least meditative way possible. God, did I envy him. And I wanted to know more about this guy, like do a deep dive or maybe a background check. Learn about whether he’d paid all his taxes. Or had a criminal record. I had to steal my phone back from Ren.
Wait. No. I wasn’t going to do that.
Autumn clenched her jaw in concentration as she maintained her position.
“Don’t forget to breathe,” I whispered.
She looked at me and smiled, letting out a slow exhale and inhaling again until we were breathing in tandem.
We continued without incident for twenty more minutes.
For the most part, Autumn did well. She even appeared to be enjoying it.
But it had me wondering why she was here in the first place.
I hoped it was because she knew I would be here.
But that was ridiculous. She was probably trying new things.
She clearly had been doing that since I’d last seen her.
So many new things.
So far, I’d noticed her love of wood sports, her penchant for tattoos, the loose way she moved, almost as if the stress she’d been carrying in her shoulders back when we were together had completely dissipated.
She was no longer a perfectionist—at least when it came to painting last night.
She was always joking with someone, and she seemed more open. She used to just be like that with me.
Yeah, it was jealousy I was feeling.
I was also proud of her. I had told her for years that she should have more fun, but she’d been so focused on grades and extracurriculars with the goal of getting into a reputable school that she’d seemed drained most days. Clearly, this had been deep inside her all along.
We changed positions again, and her side and back came into view.
I could see her sports bra underneath her loose-fitting tank top and forced myself to look away before it had a real effect on me.
The last thing I needed was for her to see me with a hard-on in sweats that would leave nothing to the imagination once they grew tighter.
Jack pursed his lips as Autumn struggled through yet another difficult move, but she nailed it and threw her hands up in victory.
And that was when I knew. Watching her have fun with this dude all week was going to be awful as hell.