Chapter 12
TWELVE
Eat your veggies, wear sunscreen, daydream, and spend more time with people who make you smile.
My heart rate climbs with every step toward the theater Tuesday afternoon. Mila is the first person I see. She stands off to the side as if she’s unsure of where she should be.
When she spots me, her face lights up. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you. You too. Understudy for not one, but two parts.” Molly and Mary, the middle sister, played by a sophomore named Harriet.
Mila tightens her grip on her backpack. “I’m so nervous. Now I have double the lines to memorize.”
“Don’t be.” I nudge her with my elbow. “This is going to be fun.”
I hold on to that hopeful attitude until after my first scene. Director Hoffman’s face is pinched as he calls for us to take a break.
“Reagan.” He beckons me with a wave of his hand.
I hop down from the stage and meet him in the second row.
“Are you sure you want this role?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
His mouth pulls down into a frown. “You look uncomfortable. Your lines and movements are right, but it isn’t believable.”
“It’s the first day,” I argue, feeling a prick of annoyance.
“This isn’t the casting I wanted for you, but you seemed so determined I went against my instinct. If we need to make a change, I’d rather do it now than halfway through rehearsals.”
“We don’t need to make a change. Tell me what I need to do.”
“It isn’t one thing, Reagan. It’s everything.” He sits and crosses one leg over the other. “I think we can alter the character a little in some of the big comedic scenes, make her less over the top.”
“No.”
He stares at me, unspeaking.
“I can do this.”
With a tilt of his head, he says, “Okay then. Let’s try it again.”
The first weeks of rehearsals are always grueling and frustrating, but I’ve never felt more picked on and discouraged than when we finish for the day.
My body hurts, which doesn’t even seem like it should be possible. I was holding myself so tightly, my muscles scream from overuse.
“Good job today,” Mila says as we’re grabbing our bags from backstage.
“Thanks.” I groan quietly. Who knew playing the silly character would be the most exhausting? I have a whole new appreciation for how hard this is going to be.
Over the next two days, classes, rehearsal, and Adam take up every waking second.
After Sunday night, we stopped making plans, and he just texts to tell me to come over as soon as I’m done for the day.
We avoid our friends with muttered apologies and lock ourselves in his room, so it’s just the two of us.
On Thursday, I have to throw a wrench in our routine to work on a paper I’ve neglected.
“There you are.” Ginny opens my bedroom door and pokes her head in.
“Hey. Yeah, I have a paper due tomorrow. I’ve been in here since noon trying to finish.” I glance out the window to see the sun is setting and then rub my eyes. “What’s up?”
“What’s up? Really?” Ginny walks in and makes herself comfortable, kicking off her shoes and sitting on the end of the bed. “You’ve been avoiding me all week.”
“I’m not avoiding you.” Just spending every free second getting naked with your brother.
“I don’t know what to make of the silence from you two. Neither one of you has said a peep.”
“It’s only been a few days.”
“I know, but usually when you come home from a first date, I get the whole scoop.”
“Well, technically, I didn’t come home from our first date.”
Ginny smiles, but then her lips fall into a pout. “Is this going to be weird? Are you going to stop sharing things with me?”
“He is your brother. Wouldn’t it be weird to hear details?”
“No,” she says too quickly. “Okay, maybe. But you’re like a sister to me, and I don’t want to lose you to my smelly brother.”
“You won’t lose me. Promise.” I take her hand and squeeze.
“So?” She perks right up.
“Did you just play me?”
“Give me something. I’m dying to know if you guys are like a thing now. Are you his new girlfriend? Is the bet off?”
“We haven’t talked about it or labeled anything. We went on a date and hung out a few times. That’s it.”
“You’ve been banging nonstop. You’re telling me you haven’t had any conversations between sex rounds?”
I feel my face warming. “Sure, we’ve talked, but nothing heavy. I don’t want to jinx it. Everything is great. We’re having fun, and I think we both wanted to keep everything away from our friends until we figure it out. The last thing I want is to screw up the group dynamic.”
“Well, you better figure it out quickly because we’re all hanging out tonight.”
My expression must give away my hesitation.
“No excuses. I’m totally cool with my brother hooking up with my best friend, but I am not cool with it driving a wedge between us. Plus, Rhett and his girlfriend broke up, and we need to be there for him and help take his mind off it.”
“Rhett and Carrie broke up?”
Ginny nods.
“Wow.” Rhett’s had the same girlfriend as long as I’ve known him. Since high school, or maybe even longer. They’ve been doing long-distance since she’s at a college in Nebraska, but I thought they were solid.
“Okay.” I give in. “But I have to finish this paper first.”
Ginny leans forward and hugs my neck. “No matter what, Adam doesn’t come between us, okay?”
“Okay,” I reply automatically. Of course, that’s the last thing I want, but hearing Ginny voice the concern makes me wonder exactly what she thinks is going to happen that she’d need to choose sides.
When I get to the guys’ apartment an hour later, everyone is outside on the deck. They’ve got the fire pit going and music playing.
Adam smiles when he spots me, and the guys all say hey.
Dakota’s holding two glasses of wine and lifts one toward me. “Celebratory wine for finishing your paper or fuck it, I’m dropping the class booze. I figured it was appropriate to drink either way.”
“Celebratory,” I say as I take the wine. “I finished. It might be crap, but it’s done.”
I sit next to Adam. Not on him or any closer than I’d sit to any of the guys, but Mav grins. “You two are gonna hook up again tonight, aren’t you?”
Adam throws an arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. “Get it all out of your system. We can take it.”
“We can?” I whisper to him.
“I got you.”
And he does. He holds onto me as the guys tease us.
Mostly, Mav. It breaks the ice, and it isn’t as weird after that.
I relax. I don’t think I realized how nervous I was about this screwing up the group’s vibe.
They’re important to me. They’re more than friends and the only type of family I really know anymore.
Rhett’s always quiet, so it’s hard to get a read on his mood until Maverick turns his questions on him.
“How are you doing, buddy?”
“Fine.” Rhett continues to stare off into space as he answers.
Maverick hands him the bottle of Mad Dog. “Every time you give a one-word answer, you have to do a shot.”
Rhett doesn’t even bother arguing, just takes the bottle and a healthy pull.
“Now, how are you doing, buddy?” Mav asks again.
“Doing fine.” He holds up a hand with two fingers. “That was two words.”
“Is he okay? I can’t tell,” I ask Adam quietly.
“He’ll be fine.”
“Let’s play sardines tonight,” Rhett says. “I don’t want to sit here. I need to move around.”
Everyone mumbles their willingness. We head inside to get warmer clothes. I go with Adam into his room where he pulls a sweatshirt on over my head and then a beanie.
“You’re on my team tonight,” he says as he adds his own warm layers.
“What about Rhett? We have an uneven number, and he shouldn’t be on his own.”
“He can be on a team with Dakota and Maverick.”
“Do you think Dakota and Maverick are the most supportive decision?”
“Fuck,” Adam curses. “I was really looking forward to having some time alone with you. I missed you today.” He fists my sweatshirt and tugs me toward him. “You’re staying over tonight, right?”
“Yes, but we have to sleep some tonight. I fell asleep eating lunch today.”
He chuckles. “Well, come on then. Let’s get this over with.”
We hold hands on the walk over to campus. It’s cold out, and I huddle into the sweatshirt Adam lent me. It’s one of his many Valley Hockey sweatshirts, but he’s worn it recently because it smells like him.
Once we arrive, Dakota and Maverick head off to hide, and the rest of us wait. This wasn’t a game I’d ever played before meeting the guys. I didn’t grow up with siblings or cousins, and I rarely had sleepovers where games like this might have been played.
Dakota’s told me that traditionally it’s played indoors, but given the limited space of our apartments, we use the main area of campus.
One person or group hides, and the rest of us try to find them.
Though instead of regular hide and seek, you have to join and wait for everyone else when you find them.
And sometimes, we throw in crazy rules like making the seekers chug a beer or swap shirts with their partner.
Pretty much anything goes so long as you don’t go inside of or on top of buildings.
That opens up too many possible hiding spots.
Ginny and Heath are standing off by themselves hugging and talking which leaves me with Adam and Rhett.
I’m still holding on to Adam’s hand, but I keep some distance between us so that Rhett doesn’t feel weird. He isn’t much of a talker, so I really can’t get a read on his emotional status.
“How’d I get stuck with you two?” he asks as he pulls a beer from his coat pocket and pops the top.
“What do you mean?” Adam sounds downright offended.
“I got stuck with the happy new couple.”
I drop Adam’s hand and cross my arms over my chest.
Rhett chuckles. “It’s fine. You can touch around me, whatever. I’m fine. Totally fine.”
Yeah, that’s convincing. “What happened?”
“We were fighting all the time. Every day she was pissed about something else. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“You broke up with her?” I ask. For some reason, that surprises me.
He nods, takes another long drink.
“Wow.”
“You did the right thing,” Adam says. “You’ll find someone who treats you better, who you click with, and things will be easier.”