Chapter 16
"I was thinking the musicians could sit here at these X's, and where I have the circles would be candles," Olivia said as she talked to Grace about the seating arrangement for the candlelight concert.
Musicians had been practicing all day, while she had been mostly busy in the kitchen, helping Marjorie make more pots of soup.
She'd also baked two dozen loaves of bread. Her arms felt like spaghetti, but she wanted to keep her mind active.
Ethan and Aiden loved having other children to play with, and Isadora McBride had had activities for the children all day long.
Her three children had helped her, and Olivia felt like she had a lot in common with Isadora.
Although Isadora's husband had cheated on her and left her, they still were single moms, raising active children.
She thought Isadora was doing an excellent job, since her children seemed well-adjusted and happy.
But maybe that had something to do with the fact that the McBride family stuck together, and while there was no father in their immediate family, Isadora had multiple brothers and brothers-in-law who would fill that role for her kids.
Olivia pressed her lips together and tried to pay attention to what Grace was saying. She didn't have siblings, and she wasn't talking to her parents.
Maybe that was a mistake. That wasn't the first time she'd thought it, but she didn't usually allow those thoughts in. Because that would mean that she needed to reach out, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and overlook the things that they had done to her.
She wasn't sure she was ready for that yet. After all, she didn't feel like it was her fault.
Those were all uncomfortable things that she didn't want to face. It was easier to put all of her attention into baking bread, making candles, and designing seating arrangements.
"I think we probably ought to move one of these chairs over here. It would look more symmetrical that way, and folks on the side would be able to see the candles better."
"Oh. Yes. That's a great shift. I was also hoping we could have the platform raised a little, but I know that we're getting close to the deadline, and I don't know if that type of construction is possible."
"I might be able to talk to Jude and a couple of the McBride boys. They're pretty handy, and they might be able to knock this together in an afternoon. Although, we might have to buy the lumber for it. And that's another expense."
"How are the ticket sales going?" Olivia had been afraid to ask, but she figured she'd better just bite the bullet and find out.
"If the quote that you gave us for the candles is accurate, we only need to sell a few more tickets in order to have that cost covered.
The musicians are donating their time, of course, and so I think that we're doing pretty well.
Although... I don't know if we'll be able to sell enough tickets to make it possible for us to pay for the supplies it would take to make a raised platform. "
"People might donate it." Olivia tapped her chin.
"That's true. I think maybe I'll go around and ask some of the business owners if they might be interested in chipping in towards it, and then.
.. I don't know if we can make a sign or something announcing that they supported it, just to give their business a little lift and to give them a little more incentive to donate? "
"I bet we could. I could actually come up with something," Olivia said thoughtfully.
Making candles was her crafty outlet, but before she did candles full-time, she fiddled around with some other crafty things.
She could certainly make a sign with some names on it.
"I know calligraphy, and I might need a little bit of help getting a stake or something to attach the sign to, but I can definitely make the sign. "
"All right then. That sounds perfect. I'll let you know how my fundraising efforts go," Grace said, winking as she stood and looked around the room.
A few families played some board games together, while several others sat in a big circle on the floor chatting. A bunch of older ladies sat in chairs along the edge of the wall, and Olivia knew that those ladies had been matchmaking all day.
Thankfully, she had been left out of that, since they had been focusing on the younger kids, teens and college age.
She supposed that someone her age wasn't a huge magnet for matchmakers.
After all, she was past the stage where she had stars in her eyes about romance, or would feel like she was going head over heels for anyone.
As soon as she thought that, Mark's face crossed her mind.
A little shiver went down her backbone, and she wondered if maybe she really wasn't too old to feel like a teenager again.
She didn't want to. She didn't have room for that in her life. She was too busy trying to survive, to raise her children, to be the best mom that she could be, and to give back to the community that had given to her so generously.
But Mark was giving back to that same community, and they seemed to work pretty well together.
They had a lot of things in common, although they didn't have to have everything in common.
She always thought that it was the differences between Cam and her that really made their relationship interesting.
He was able to teach her things, and she taught him a few things too.
Although, they'd spent so much time apart with him being deployed that she felt like they'd lost that a little bit.
It wasn't good to have too much space between a couple.
Definitely. Maybe that was common sense, but in hindsight, she and Cam definitely had drifted apart.
Not that it mattered anymore. She just wanted to be sure that whoever she was with, she made time for them.
If she ever had a relationship again, she wanted to be with someone who would make time for her, and she wanted to be sure that she did the same.
After all, once the children were gone, she would have to look at that person across the supper table every night, without the buffer of kids between them.
They needed to actually like each other.
Her eyes drifted across the room, and she saw Mark working with Isadora and the children.
They made a nice couple, and they too worked well together.
Despite herself, she watched them for a little bit longer, trying to quell whatever ugly feeling was rising up in her.
Was that jealousy?
Her throat clenched as Isadora laughed at something Mark had said.
Yeah. It must be jealousy. Because while the logical part of her could say that they looked good together, there was a part of her that wanted to go over there and interrupt, to break it up, to get them apart.
But she didn't give into that side of her personality. Isadora would actually be perfect for Mark. She would be a wonderful pastor's wife, she was great with kids, and already taught a Sunday school class.
She could integrate well into the church, and Mark seemed fond of her.
She shook the thought out of her head and turned away, trying to figure out what she was doing before she was distracted by Mark and Isadora.
She managed to bury herself in work, and only glanced up once in a while to make sure her twins were behaving, but otherwise ignoring Mark and Isadora.
It surprised her when Mark showed up at her shoulder.
"Grace told me to come see you about where I should stand for the concert. She said you had a drawing already."
He startled her, and she tried to catch her breath unobtrusively before she nodded. "Yes. I do. I set it down over here." She pointed to a little stand sitting behind the table where they served the soup.
It was going to be ready in just a few minutes, and Marjorie McBride had already asked her to finish up what she was doing so she could make her way over to the serving table.
"If you're busy, you don't have to do it right now."
"Oh, it's not a problem. I was heading this way anyway," she said.
"Your boys are managing somehow to charm everyone in the room. Look at them now," Mark said, nodding over toward where Aiden and Ethan were speaking with the group of old ladies who had parked their chairs together and were pretending to knit but were actually matchmaking.
"They just love people. Especially Aiden."
"Isadora and I were saying how cute they were. And her kids just seem to... we had to remind her kids several times not to play favorites. Those boys are something else."
Like any normal parent, it warmed Olivia's heart and soul to hear someone complimenting her children.
Even though she tried hard to ignore the fact that Mark was basically praising Isadora as well. And her children.
"I worry so much that I'm ruining them, you know?"
"Weren't you the one that was telling me earlier today that God isn't giving us anything that He isn't going to help us handle? That we have everything we need for the job that He's put in front of us?"
She laughed and shook her head. "You are so right. I don't know why I don't apply that to my situation. I feel like the boys don't have a father and therefore they have a handicap in life. You know?"
"I do believe that it's important for a child to grow up in a two-parent home.
That's the way God intended it, and that's the way children thrive.
There is no doubt about that. But it's true that God promises to be with you always, and to help you.
And it's also true that He has a plan for your life, and for theirs.
And if His plan had been for their dad to survive, he would have. "
His voice held compassion and kindness, and she knew he was saying it in the sweetest and most loving way possible. He wasn't trying to rub in her face that her husband had died.
"I'm sorry to bring up what have to be painful memories," he said.
"No. It's not a problem. It's been long enough ago that I still get a twinge, but it's mostly because of my sadness for the boys.
Never knowing their father, never getting to have any memories with him at all.
That type of thing. For me... I guess I wish that I would've had a marriage where I celebrated a fiftieth anniversary.
But... I guess that wasn't what God had for me. "
"No. It's sometimes one of the hardest things to accept, that what we want isn't what God wants for us. That's tough."
"Boy. I agree with you completely."
They'd made it to the little stand, and she picked the paper up.
"I was thinking about you being right here.
Grace and I were just talking about this earlier, and if we have the money, we're going to see if we can have a raised platform.
Which I think will make the candlelight more visible to everyone.
The arrangement of the musicians won't be quite as important, but we've tried to do it so that the most angles have good views.
We have you sitting in a chair over here, and then, when it's time for you to stand up and speak, you'll move to here. "
Mark nodded, looking like he approved of her plan.
"That's brilliant. I love that you really thought this out and have chosen the absolute best way to arrange things.
I'm impressed." He looked at her, his eyes twinkling, and for a few moments, it was as though everyone in the large room faded away, and it was just Mark and her in the world together.
She'd never experienced that before, where it felt like they were the only two in the world. Even with Cam.
She didn't know how long the moment would've lasted, but Marjorie McBride spoke, and the spell was broken.
"I'm so glad you're here. I've got the boys carrying your soup out, and I do believe everyone is starving. And that bread smells amazing."
If Marjorie noticed there was anything amiss, she didn't say, and Olivia certainly didn't bring attention to it.
Instead, she cleared her throat, which suddenly felt constricted, and willed her mouth to make saliva, since it was suddenly powder dry.
"I'll leave you to your duties. Thank you for showing me. That's a brilliant arrangement." Pastor Mark pointed at the paper, and then nodded at her and walked away.
As had become the custom, he would pray before the meal, and then he would wait until everyone else had been served before he got his own food. Olivia had noticed that he had done that with every meal that they served.
It was impressive, and in her opinion, it showed true leadership. Where the leader made sure that everyone following him was nourished before he nourished himself.
It flew in the face of what modern society often told people, that you've got to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, and it harkened back to what she always heard about George Washington, making sure his men ate before he did.
It was a biblical principle, with Jesus washing the disciples' feet and caring for others before he cared for himself.
Mark definitely lived a life that pointed people to Jesus. To her, that was impressive.