Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
J ack tore the plastic wrap off the roll and placed a candy cane on top of it, carefully folding the edges and bringing them together the way Lauren always had.
She had made it look easy, and when he had first started trying to do it, he had ended up with crinkled balls of mess, but eventually, after he'd had to do it, he'd gotten fairly good at it.
Sometimes he could even convince himself he enjoyed it.
He glanced over in the corner, where Kate sat with Lilly, earnestly pointing at something on a piece of paper in front of them and talking to Lilly, who nodded her head.
Lauren's old music box sat behind her on a shelf. He'd mentioned when they came in that he had put some things out that Lilly had enjoyed playing with. He hadn't mentioned that he'd put them away for a while because he thought the memories were probably too sad for both of them.
Lauren might not have been the love of his life, but they had spent a lot of time together, and he would be lying if he said he didn't miss her or didn't feel sad to think that she was gone.
But most of his emotions were wrapped up in Lilly and how devastated his daughter was.
Still, he had brought some things out of his bedroom that would work for them to play with in the candy shop, without bringing a whole bunch of Lilly's toys down from upstairs. He tried to keep the candy shop fairly clean and free of clutter. Not to mention it had to be sanitary as well.
He wrapped another candy cane, pulling the bow tight with a flourish and looking up as the bell jingled over a customer's head as someone walked in.
He smiled when he saw Summer McBride strolling in, a cowgirl hat on her head and boots on her feet.
She grinned at him. "Hey there, Jack. How's business?"
"It's going well. This is the best time of year," he said. He lifted his brows. "But I assume you're not in here to buy candy canes?"
"No. I came to talk to Kate. She had said something to one of the children about needing to talk to me, and I decided that instead of sending a message back through school, I would just try to find her in town. I asked at the feed store, and they pointed me here."
"Yeah. She's helping me with Lilly, and then in the shop some as well."
"I heard she's living in the old farmhouse. It's beautiful."
"Yeah. I'm a little jealous. She has a much better view than I do in the morning."
"I don't understand why you don't move back out there. You love it so much," Summer said, shaking her head.
He didn't have an answer for that. Why hadn't he moved back out?
Lauren had wanted to move to the candy shop when they got married, and that just made sense, since that's where she worked every morning.
And when there wasn't anything to do on the farm, he helped her as well.
Eventually, the candy shop had taken over, and he left his brother with more and more work to do on his own.
"I'm sure they will be happy to see you," he said. Summer nodded and turned over to where Kate sat with Lilly.
As he expected, Kate looked up, saw that it was Summer, and then glanced over at him, her brows raised.
He nodded. He was pretty sure that she was asking if he could take Lilly for a little bit so Summer could talk.
He was guessing, since Summer ran a counseling equine therapy program, that Kate was probably wanting to talk to her to see if there was anything that she could do for Lilly.
Kate was diligent about doing her homework and leaving no stone unturned.
It didn't surprise him at all that she might be talking to Summer.
A couple of minutes later, Lilly came over to him.
He smiled at his daughter and gave her some ribbon so she could tie a few bows onto the cellophane.
His daughter had a natural knack for making things look pretty, very much like Lauren did.
Lilly reminded him so much of Lauren in so many ways that sometimes he wondered if she was cloned, because he had trouble seeing anything of himself in her.
Except for her honey blonde hair. It was just a shade or two lighter than his own and would probably darken to match his by the time she was an adult.
Regardless, she had her mother's eyes, her nose, her flair for making things beautiful, and she seemed to have a strong interest in the candy cane shop.
But sometimes he wondered if that was just because it was what he did.
His brother had suggested more than once that Lilly was interested in the candy cane shop because of Jack, not because of Lauren.
Since kids had a tendency to be interested in what their parents were interested in, and since Jack was the only parent Lilly had, it was natural that she would be interested in his interests.
Bryan had said that perhaps if Jack had been farming, Lilly's interest would have been there.
Jack supposed Bryan had a point, but he hadn't been able to move himself out of the candy cane shop, just because... he supposed because Lauren was dead and couldn't talk to him about it. And he didn't want Lilly not to have a part of her heritage.
Summer and Kate talked for about twenty minutes, then Kate stood and walked Summer to the door. They chatted the entire way, with Summer calling a goodbye to Jack before she disappeared out the door.
Jack was antsy to hear what Summer had said, but he didn't want to talk about it in front of Lilly, and indeed, Kate just came over, thanked him for keeping an eye on her, and then asked Lilly if she would like to go back to the table.
This time when they sat down, Kate took the music box off the shelf and set it on the table.
Immediately, Jack could see Lilly's eyes light up as she recognized the small box.
He castigated himself for not bringing it out sooner, since it wasn't sadness that lit Lilly up, but excitement and happiness.
Kate said something, although Jack was too far away to hear what it was, but Lilly nodded eagerly as Kate opened the lid, and the music box started to play.
If Lilly was happy before, she was absolutely animated now. Her eyes bright, her cheeks flushed, her finger gently stroking the side of the music box as it played a little tune.
It slowly wound down, and then Jack's heart stopped. It looked like, as Lilly looked up at Kate, she opened her mouth, and Jack's breath hitched. Was she going to speak?
It sure looked like she was, but at the last moment, Lilly looked at the music box and then tapped it.
If Jack wasn't mistaken, a little bit of the air went out of Kate as well, and he bet she had also been thinking that Lilly was going to speak.
But Kate nodded and said, "Do you want me to play it again?"
Lilly nodded eagerly.
They listened to the music box and stayed in the corner until it was time for Lilly to go up for bedtime. As he put her to bed, he talked about the music box, and her eyes brightened again. But there were no more almost-breakthrough moments where she almost spoke.
Jack walked back down the stairs with excitement, but also disappointment.
And he didn't understand the disappointment.
After all, she had almost spoken. That was real progress.
But what if that was the only progress she made?
What if she never actually got to the point where she stepped across the line and finally spoke words?
It was hard for him to keep up the optimism that eventually she would speak.
As he walked in, Kate was where he had left her, washing dishes. It was one of his least favorite jobs, and she had volunteered to do whatever he needed her to.
"I'm sorry I left you here washing dishes," he said, knowing that while he did it, he didn't enjoy it.
"I kind of like washing dishes. It's a mindless task that allows your brain to wander, and you can figure things out while you've got the suds and the soap and the lack of anything that you actually have to think about."
"I hadn't thought about it like that, but maybe I just don't have anything to think about, and that's why it bothers me so bad."
She smiled, but then her eyes brightened. "Did you see Lilly tonight? Boy, I thought she was going to actually speak the words to ask me to play it again. That was a really brilliant idea of yours."
"You know, I don't know why I haven't done it before, other than I thought the memories would be sad. That was her mother's."
"There's definitely a key there. Obviously, she stopped speaking after her mother died, but every time we get something of hers out, or draw a picture—it's just everything revolves around her. That's the key."
"Did Summer shed any insight on that?" he asked, as he walked over and grabbed the towel to dry the dishes off before they started something new.
Kate finished washing a dish before she spoke, holding the clean bowl over the water absentmindedly as she seemed to think about the words as they came out.
"I think Summer thought I was doing a pretty good job.
She's never worked with someone with Lilly's specific issue, but she said that just having her use her senses, the way I was—like with the drawing, and then with music, and just making sure that Lilly was able to trust me.
" She lifted her shoulder. "It was really encouraging, though, because she said there'll be little gains, maybe some losses, but eventually the breakthrough would happen.
She phrased it in those terms and didn't give any room for the 'what if it doesn't,' which is sometimes what goes through my head. "
"Mine too. In fact, today, when she almost spoke, I was excited, but I was also discouraged as well, I guess. Because that was my exact thought. What if that's as far as she ever gets?"