Chapter 27 #2
He asked, voice low, “Is it okay?”
I drew back a little, thrown off by the sudden caution. “Of course it’s okay. I want your hands on me the same way I’m dying to put mine on you.”
“I just, I don’t want you thinking I’d ever hurt you. Not like that asshole before.” His jaw flexed, like the thought alone pissed him off.
“Oh, Josh.” I let out a breath that was half-laugh, half-ache. “You’d never be him. Not even close. But if you’re spooked, say the word. I can walk out right now. I’ll leave you to your beer and whatever pity party you’ve got brewing.”
“Don’t go.” He leaned in to kiss me lightly. “I was not having a pity party about work shit.”
“Sure looked like it.” I pulled him back in, kissing him harder, my fingers sliding into the hair at the nape of his neck. Between breaths, I murmured, “Was it about me?”
“Maybe.” He flicked the back of my bra, freeing my breasts as if he’d been dying to do it.
A shiver shot straight through me. “That’s kind of hot.”
“I knew the second you stormed onto my ball field that we’d end up right here.”
“Because I’m easy?” I arched a brow, daring him.
“No. You’re as unpredictable as an angry cat.
I wanted this. I could see you wanted it.
Whatever is between us didn’t die over time.
I think it got stronger. That scared the hell out of me.
” He gently touched the tattoo that encircled my one breast. Then he leaned forward and kissed along its path. “I fucked up big time long go.”
“You did.” I wanted to ask more. I needed to ask why, but my breath shuddered as I watched the perfection of him sucking my nipple into his mouth. His tongue laved over it, over and over, until his teeth grazed the tip. Shocks slid down to my center.
All I could think was holy shit. “You didn’t want me like this back then.”
He chuckled deep. “I never said that.”
“But you never pushed us to have sex.”
“No one can push you into something you’re not ready for. I wanted you more than anything back then, but I waited. It had to be right for you.” I could feel him smile against me as he moved to the other breast. “Tell me you’re not with Drew or Knox. That you’ll never be with them.”
“Knox is gay.”
“Didn’t look like it so much tonight.”
I gasped when he grazed my nipple with his teeth again. “Did Knox’s kiss upset you?”
“A little.”
I didn’t bother hiding my smile. I liked him jealous. “Knox thought he was saving me.”
Something dark crossed his face—fast and dangerous. “That man thinks you walk on water,” he said quietly. “But he doesn’t get this part of you.”
I sucked in a breath when he flicked a tongue a few times against my nipple. I swore, “This won’t happen with either of them.”
I wheezed in surprise when he stood abruptly, carrying me with him. I giggled when we passed the stairs and ducked into a room on the first floor.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“I’m glad the bedroom isn’t upstairs.”
“Me too,” Josh said with a bit too much relief in his tone.
I hit him playfully on the arm. “I’m not that heavy.”
“They’re steep stairs.” He set me down gently on the bed to remove my jeans and underwear.
I sat up and helped him off with his jeans. “Lie down so I can look at you.”
“No, I’m going to be the one doing the looking first.” He leaned in, and the locket—my locket—swung around his neck. It told me he’d never let go of me. Just like I hadn’t let go of him.
I reached up and stroked down his shoulders and chest. “You’ve kept yourself so strong, so in shape everywhere. And big.” I grinned at his cock, which was hard and wonderful. I tugged at him to lie down so I could do all the things I’d dreamed of for so long.
I ordered, “Get on the bed.”
He leaned closer. “We’re not going to fight about this like we do everything else. I know you want to suck my dick, but I want to be inside you. I’ve wanted this since I got my first hard-on. So, you’re going to be the one lying back on that bed so I can look at you.”
I stood up next to him, locked my lips with his and waited until he deepened the kiss. When his tongue touched mine, I worked my hands down his body and gently nudged him onto the bed and on his back without breaking our kiss. I straddled his hips to keep him in place.
He pulled his head from mine to whisper, “That was a dirty play.”
“You love it. We’re not going to skip the part where you’re so deep inside me that I can’t think straight. I promise. I’ve dreamed of that too. Let me have this. I’ve fantasized about it since I was in middle school.”
“Middle school?” He chuckled.
“Shut up. You liked me too back then, but you were too insecure to talk about anything other than baseball.”
“I didn’t know I could’ve had this back then.”
I blew out a sarcastic breath. “You couldn’t have. I was angry at you for choosing Becky as your girlfriend in eighth grade.”
I kissed along his face, but he softly took my head and brought my gaze in line with his. “I only went steady with Becky to get your attention. There never was anyone else who mattered.”
I grinned. “I know. That’s why you’re going to let me do this.”
“I suppose I am. When it’s my turn, it won’t be all slow kissy bullshit. I’m going to fuck you until you can’t think straight. Then I’m going to look at every tattoo you put on yourself, and you’re going to tell me why you did it.”
I kissed across his strong shoulders. “Why do you keep yourself in peak baseball shape?”
He grunted.
I put my hand over his heart. “It’s still in there, isn’t it?” I glanced up in time to catch emotion flitter through his gaze. “You haven’t let go of the dream.”
He didn’t reply. He couldn’t seem to vocalize it, but I could feel the truth tearing him apart.
If he admitted he lost baseball, he might lose hope.
I wondered what that hope was. Hope to play again?
Hope to be a part of something bigger with the game he loved?
I wanted to give that back to him but didn’t know how.
I traced the scar on his right arm where he had the surgery that stole it from him.
“I wish I’d been there when this happened. ”
“No, you don’t. I wasn’t right in the head back then. I hurt everyone around me, even myself.”
I wiped at the tears that gathered in my eyes as I kissed the scar on his arm. I whispered, “I would’ve fought with you to snap you out of it.” I patted the locket on his chest. “We could’ve figured out a different path, once you got over the surgery.”
He swallowed hard. I moved above him to look down into his face. His eyes were glassy. He wheezed out, “It fell apart because I fucked this up. You and me, I mean.”
I gently pecked him on the lips. “Maybe this was how it was supposed to happen. This way we could figure out how to survive alone.”
“It hasn’t been much fun,” he rasped out.
“I missed you too. Now, let’s find out if we’re good at this together or really suck.”
“It won’t suck.”
“I can suck.” I giggled. I kissed around and across each nipple and down the ridges of his abdomen.
With my hands, I traced his balls and his cock.
Josh tensed. I took the tip of him into my mouth.
He gasped. He’d gotten bigger than I remembered in the long ago past. I took him deep inside my mouth and enjoyed the small noises that came out of him.
After a minute or two, I could tell he was holding back.
He let out a strangled breath and picked me up to change positions. “My turn.”
I complained, “You didn’t—”
“Enough. You had your playtime.”
“Barely. You’re impatient.”
“Fuck, yeah, I am.” He took my mouth with his and kissed me so deep he sucked the breath out of me.
His fingers teased across my core. Two fingers stretched me and pumped while he kissed me.
One hand cradled my chin to force eye contact when he lifted his lips from mine.
“I’ll try to take this as easy as I can at first. I’ve wanted this for too long.
I swear I’m going to learn everything about your body, but right now, I need you. ”
“So much talking. Do something about it.” I smiled at him.
“It drives me batshit how you always have to get in the last word.”
“You’re still talking, still arguing.” I arched up into him and tried to get him inside me. When he didn’t comply, I asked, “You want me somewhere else? Maybe on my side or my stomach?”
He grinned at me but didn’t make a move. “You want me that much?”
“I refuse to beg you for this. You either do what you said or get the hell off me.”
“I like you like this,” Josh murmured, his voice rough with something that sounded dangerously close to restraint. He finally moved, slow and deliberate, making sure I felt every inch of his control. “Wrap your legs around my waist.”
“Already there.” I arched up to pull him in as deep as possible. On a gasp I muttered, “Oh, God…”
His body pulsed in and out of me until he paused to do some sort of angular adjustment that hit an area inside that made me almost black out from pleasure. “Wha…was that? If you… I’m going to come just from that.”
“Let’s find out.” He continued until my body clamped down, shuddered, and detonated in an explosion that left me spiraling. When I regained coherency, I found him frozen, blanched out, and making strangled noises. I managed to say, “What the hell are you waiting for?”
“Hold on. Can’t forget…” He left me for a moment to cover himself in a condom.
When he returned, he put an arm under my hips and angled himself, hitting me so deep…
Already hypersensitized, all I could do was gasp for breath as he drove himself until I felt a new high rise inside.
He fingered across my clit several times and I screamed as the climax hit me again. Josh cried out as he came with me.
We lay there, tangled and trying to catch our breath for what might’ve been seconds or could’ve been an hour. I don’t think I’d ever come twice.
“We should’ve done that a long time ago,” I whispered.