Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
BENJI:
I have arrived at my brother’s domicile in one piece
PAIGE:
I’m glad to hear it
I happen to enjoy your piece
BENJI:
…
when I can scrape my brain out of the gutter, I’ll think of something funny, but for now all I’ve got is I miss you
PAIGE:
It’s only two weeks, right?
and maybe I like it when your brain gets dirty. Did you ever think about that?
BENJI:
constantly
and yeah, 2 weeks is the plan. The kids are okay for now, but Isaac is rough. I put him onto my therapist, so we’ll see how he goes. How is the shop? Are you surviving without your other half?
PAIGE:
well, he’s on the other side of the country right now, so …
sorry, I just miss you
BENJI:
nope, apology not accepted, I’m already tattooing that shit on my arm
PAIGE:
The shop is good, Skye’s already filled my messages with beach pics, and every so often Marcie comes over to complain so it’s like she’s still here
* * *
PAIGE:
BENJI:
Flannel suits you
I said you were trouble, now I know you’re also a thief
PAIGE:
I’m only borrowing it. If you want it back, you’ll have to take it from me
BENJI:
I’ll definitely be removing it, but you can keep it
PAIGE:
…
You like it that much huh?
BENJI:
you know I do
PAIGE:
Do mirrors turn you on too?
BENJI:
I promise, this is all you
* * *
BENJI:
I’ve always loved the rain, ever since I was a kid. When the fog hit or there was a big storm, I’d stare out the window and try to imagine what I couldn’t see
PAIGE:
It’s very calming. Rain is one of our most popular scents
BENJI
Before I met you, I never thought I’d have a favorite smell. Now I can’t stop missing it
* * *
PAIGE:
Bernie got angry today. At least the bandage is totally inconspicuous
ready to see?
BENJI:
so ready
PAIGE:
BENJI:
did you send the right picture? All I see is a beautiful woman
PAIGE:
good answer
I put a sticker over it to pretty it up
BENJI:
a totally inconspicuous sticker?
PAIGE:
if you think a bright pink heart is inconspicuous, sure
BENJI:
I’m pink colorblind, actually
* * *
BENJI:
Why do the worst thoughts wait until I’m about to sleep to come out of the woodwork?
PAIGE:
Send them to me, I can sweet-talk them
BENJI:
I don’t want you sweet-talking anyone but me
PAIGE:
I guess you could join in
Do you want to talk about it?
BENJI:
Can you believe I used to think going to therapy was the same as fixing a broken bone? Once it’s healed, you’re good to go. But it’s more like cleaning your teeth. A little bit of effort every day to keep everything in working order.
PAIGE:
It can’t be easy when you’re tired either.
Maybe they come out at night because they’re scared and want comfort? I think I read once that self-doubt is a shield that hurts when it’s trying to protect us instead. If one of the kids was saying the stuff you say to yourself, you’d hug them and tell them it’s going to be okay, wouldn’t you?
BENJI:
is it weird to say that my therapist would love you? Fuck it, he would.
I think you just rewired my brain
thank you
PAIGE:
I can’t hug you, but it’s going to be okay. Have sweet dreams tonight
BENJI:
you’re in them, so they always are
* * *
BENJI:
I could help him, but this is more entertaining
PAIGE:
I’m sure he appreciates that
BENJI:
five more minutes then I’ll save him
PAIGE:
fingers crossed the kids last that long
BENJI:
Interesting concept. Do you need to keep your fingers crossed across both hands? Would it be as effective if each hand took shifts?
I just asked the kids. They want to know if toes would work instead, and I may have inferred that their dad could in fact cross his toes, and they are now demanding he show them
If they find my body, tell them it was Isaac in the backyard with the Allen wrench
PAIGE:
I’m very glad you are the way you are
BENJI:
no one compares to you
the kids say hi, by the way.
PAIGE:
Hi back. I miss them.
I miss you
BENJI:
You have no idea how much I miss you. I’m sick of only holding you in my dreams.