Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
PAIGE
“So,” Skye says, bypassing hello when she answers my call.
I set my phone on speaker while I wait for what’s next, opening my fridge and hoping for inspiration.
There’s a clatter of drawers being opened, closed, opened, and the clang of utensils clashing.
“You know how I’m trying to eat more vegetables—”
“So you can live to be one hundred eleven, yes.”
It’s a worthwhile goal for someone who has loudly pronounced since we were twelve that the only vegetable worth eating was a potato, fried and loaded with cheese and bacon.
I sigh into my own fridge, closing the door because there’s only so long I can stare at leftover pad thai and a yogurt and pretend I have an appetite. Benji’s flight is tomorrow, and concentrating has been impossible today. Every second closer to seeing him makes the butterflies flutter faster.
“Well, I found this recipe for a squash, prosciutto, and sage quiche that looks amazing, but I couldn’t find a premade pie crust at the store, so I grabbed this flan one, which is basically the same thing—”
Let’s hope.
“Then I got home and realized I have no idea how to cook squash, and it looks like a baby pumpkin, but I didn’t want to do it wrong, so …” She trails off.
I drop onto the couch, twisting to set my feet on the corner of my bed. The benefit of living in a tiny studio apartment is that everything is within reach. It’s nice—in a cramped way.
“Let me guess,” I say, smiling. “You watched one video, then got distracted by the guy who cleans pools.”
“His voice is so hot,” she whines. Something hits the counter, and I’d put money on it being her forehead. “Save me from the sexy pool man, please.”
I snort. “Bet you wouldn’t be saying that if he were there.”
“If he were here, I would have barricaded the door closed so no one could interrupt us.”
I’m laughing when my phone beeps with an incoming call. My heart leaps. “Hang on. Benji’s calling.”
It’s been seventeen days since he left—yes, I’m counting—and he promised he’d be here tomorrow; I don’t have any details on when. It’s driving me nuts.
“Fine, dump me for your boyfriend,” Skye teases, but there’s no malice behind it.
“I just need his flight details so I can surprise him at the airport.”
Seventeen days of staring across the alley at his shop and not seeing him. Only Chester, the sweet nineteen-year-old woodworker who Benji has agreed to tutor, who drops by Benji’s store to accept deliveries.
But no Benji.
“The reunion sex had better be mind-blowing if you call out tomorrow and make me run the shop by myself.”
I can feel my ears heating. We trade I love yous, and then I rush to answer Benji’s call.
“Hi,” I say. Do I sound calm? I think I could buzz right out of my skin.
“Hey, I was just thinking about you.”
I melt at the familiar rumble of his voice. “What a coincidence.”
Somehow, his voice gets deeper. “Anything you’d like to share?”
The butterflies give way to a series of fireworks that set off up and down my spine. I think if I tried to stand right now, my knees would give out. I’ve missed him so much.
“You still haven’t told me what time to get to the airport to pick you up.”
“And I keep telling you that you don’t need to do that.”
“I know I don’t, but I want to.” Because we’re dating now, and that’s the kind of girlfriend I want to be. I don’t want to wait through baggage claim or traffic or anything else to see him. I need him here now.
“I know. It’s just … I won’t be there.”
My stomach falls. “Oh.”
A knock sounds at my door, but I can’t move. All I can do is stare at a fraying seam on my pajamas and wonder how I got this so wrong.
“I thought—I mean …” My voice catches. Say it. “Do you not want to see me?”
Another knock, louder this time.
Ugh, who the hell is here at this hour?
I push off the couch and shuffle toward the door, my feet as heavy as my heart.
“You’ve got it all wrong,” Benji says, his voice gentle.
But how can I? He’s meant to be coming back. He promised me.
The knock comes again, and, yeah, now I’m pissed off. I rip open the door, then freeze.
“I couldn’t wait another second to see you,” Benji says, smiling in the hallway in a loose shirt and dark pants.
The sound I make is one I’ve never heard before, but there’s no time to be embarrassed because Benji is here and no one has ever looked so good before. He catches me easily when I launch myself at him, and he must kick the door closed, but I’m too busy reacquainting myself with his lips to care.
“You were right,” I say between kisses, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I love surprises.”
The heat of Benji’s palms melts through my shirt, spreading over my back and never stopping in one place. It makes me feral—how much I’ve needed this, needed him. He nips at my lip, then sucks at the bite, swallowing my whine.
I think we must be moving, maybe, but also, we could be standing still. My head is swimming just from his kisses and his touch, and it’s hard to tell. Benji treats me with the same unwavering attention he tends to his commissions with—patient and passionate—and I can’t believe I get to have this.
I pull back, panting against his cheek as he sits on the edge of my mattress, keeping me in his lap.
His cheeks are faintly pink, his eyes wild and bright, and I think I’m going to explode with how much love I have for this man.
Benji drags his hands up my back, his kisses slowing down, like he’s trying to memorize how I taste.
Fuck.
I cradle his face between my hands, needing the reminder that he’s here with me. He came back. He couldn’t wait.
My heart crashes against my chest. “I hope you haven’t lost your touch,” I whisper, teasing the corner of his lips with my thumb. They’re spit-slick and reddened, and I want to devour him.
Benji stares up, the adoring look in his eyes enough to make my heart skip several beats.
“I thought about you every day.” He leans in and trails his nose gently along my cheek, his lips grazing my skin as he speaks.
“I never forgot how you felt or the way you bite your lip when you’re nervous.
The little sound you make when you’re frustrated.
” When he pulls back, all I see is green.
“I thought about you so much; I would stare at your number and dare myself to call you, but I was too scared to do it. I thought I’d ruined it for good. ”
Something tender clenches in my chest.
Oh. He’s talking about before.
“I let myself drown in my memories. I was terrified I’d forget if I didn’t, and then finally, my therapist told me to write everything down. That’s how the list started. It was my way of holding on to you, in case I never got the chance to again.”
The world narrows down to him and only him. The grip of his fingers at my waist, the heave of his chest with each breath.
My hands tremble where they clutch his face, and I can’t speak. I’m too overwhelmed. Too far gone to think. I only want to feel.
One pull on his neck, and our lips crash together, fitting like puzzle pieces kept apart for too long. The light scratch of his unshaven jaw sparks the fire burning under my skin, and I tear myself away mid-kiss to throw my shirt to the floor.
Benji takes a moment to admire that I’m not wearing anything underneath, but lifts his arms when I pull at his shirt. Before I know it, we’re down to our underwear, and Benji is twisting to lay me against the pillows.
“You’re still the best I’ve had.”
He hovers above me, resting on his forearms. Like this, I’m deliciously caged in, but I need more. I want to melt under his weight.
His stomach jumps as I slide one hand down, mapping out the rise and fall of his abs. My mouth waters, desperate to follow the path of my fingers. To taste.
Benji groans deep as I slide my hand into his boxers. “Fuck, Paige.”
His whispered curse ghosts my lips, and I arch up to catch his mouth in mine as I close my hand around his hard, hot cock.
He grunts, and I see his biceps flexing. He’s holding back. I need him to let go.
Releasing him, I shimmy out of my underwear and push them to the floor. I lock my legs around Benji’s waist, but he’s still holding himself up, dammit. I see him smiling and realize I made that sound he loves.
“There’s been no one else since you,” I tell him. “Since we met.”
It softens his gaze, the hunger simmering underneath something bigger, deeper. Something like love.
“I was lost the day you walked into my workshop,” he says. “I’ll never stop loving you.”
Heat floods my eyes, and I surge up into a kiss. “I love you too. That’s never changed, even after you left. Never.”
Benji rests his forehead on mine, and my eyes are closed, so it takes a moment, takes until I can taste the salt on his lips to notice he’s crying.
“I’m never leaving you again,” he rasps.
I blink up at him, and I know this is it. It’s him. It will only ever be him.
“You’d better not because I’d be coming after you.” Anywhere you go, I’m coming with you.
Benji laughs and kisses me, then finally, finally, he drops his hips. God, the heat of him is magical. My hips rock up against his thick cock, still trapped in his boxers.
“Is that all you’ve got?” I gasp.
“Fuck,” he groans, thrusting so hard that I can hear the springs of my mattress whining underneath me. “I missed you.”
He straightens to strip out of his boxers and is back before I can miss him, exploring every inch of my skin with renewed focus. Between his hands and his mouth, I’ve never felt so cherished.
By the time he’s sliding into me, I’m whimpering, scratching along his spine as he fucks into me so perfectly. His thrusts pick up speed, pulling more and more sounds out of me.
It’s bliss.
Our bodies slide together, sweaty and frantic. Benji kisses down my neck, and I throw my head back to give him more room. My pussy clenches around him, and Benji grunts, his teeth catching on the sensitive skin.
I’m teetering on the edge.
“Benji, fuck, I’m gonna—”
“You can let go, baby,” he says, pushing deeper.
God, how much deeper can he go? My whole body is on fire, and I never want to come down.
Benji sucks another kiss into my skin. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Our teeth clash when I come. I’m vaguely aware of Benji coming with a low groan before his lips graze my forehead.
I close my eyes for a moment that stretches out until I’m blinking awake, the lights off, the blankets pulled tight over me, and a wall of hot Benji pressed against my back.
I burrow deeper into his arms.
He came back to me, and he’s not going anywhere.